By: Carey Nieuwhof

Ever wonder if your organization’s culture is toxic?

Apparently, not enough leaders do.

According to a Gallup survey, only 15% of employees globally are engaged at work.

In America, 30% of employees are engaged, which at first sounds great.

Except that means that 70% of your workforce feels like their job is grinding the life of out of them. 70% of the people you’ve hired or who are part of your organization aren’t showing up with their best, productivity is low and your mission is suffering.

Underneath that is almost always some kind of unhealthy or toxic culture that demotivates your team.

As a result, every day, good people leave. People don’t quit jobs, they quit bosses and cultures.

One of the most important roles you have as a leader is to create a healthy culture that attracts and keeps healthy team members.

One of the challenges in leadership is that the boss is often the last to know that their work culture is toxic.

Leaders consistently overestimate how healthy they are and how healthy their team is.

That’s why I developed a new resource for leaders called The 3 Step Guide to Developing Better Value Statements. It’s free. You can get instant access here.

So how would you know your organization’s culture is toxic?

Here are ten signs.

People don’t quit jobs, they quit bosses and cultures.

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1. You talk ABOUT people, not to THEM

The golden rule of conflict is this: talk to the person you have an issue with, not about them.

In too many organizations, the opposite is true.

People talk about people rather than to them.

Companies are bad that this, but so our churches. Even in churches, conflict gets swept under the carpet, played out in a passive agressive way or spills out into social media.

The church should the BEST organization in the world in dealing with conflict. Often, we can be the worst.

The church should the BEST organization in the world in dealing with conflict. Often, we can be the worst.

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The next time you want to talk about someone (i.e. gossip), talk to them instead.

If you can’t or won’t, then it’s either not that big of an issue, so let it go. Or, you have a problem deeper than you realize. Get some help.

This also stops gossip dead in its tracks.

The next time you want to talk about someone (i.e. gossip), talk to them instead.

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2. You have to play politics to get anything done

One sure sign of a toxic culture is that you have to play politics to get anything done.

You know things have gotten political in your organization when:

Decisions rarely get made the way they’re supposed to be made.

Most decisions happen outside of meetings or any agreed-upon process.

You can’t get a yes without offering something in return.

You have to continually lobby to be heard.

If you’re always jockeying, lobbying and courting favor to get the right decision made, it’s a sign your organization is unhealthy.

In the local church in particular, having to play politics to win is a sure sign there’s sin.

When you do what you say you’re going to do the way you said you’re going to do it, you bring health to an organization.

In any organization, but in the local church in particular, having to play politics to win is a sure sign there’s sin.

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3. What gets said publicly is different from what’s happening privately

Another sign things are becoming toxic is when what gets said publicly is different than what happened privately.

When there’s spin on every issue and nothing can be said publicly without ‘agreeing’ on what gets said first, you’re in dangerous territory.

For sure, there are times where a situation is delicate and you will want to ‘agree’ on what gets said publicly to honour everyone involved, but in too many organizations few things that get done privately can be announced the same way publicly.

And to be sure…when you’re crafting any kind of a public statement, you want to pay attention to the words you use and perhaps even find agreement on them.

But the end product should never be the opposite or even different than what actually happened

I have good fortune of being part of several healthy organizations. I love it when people pull me aside and ask (in hushed tones), “So what’s the real story?” and I get to tell them “Actually, that is the real story.”

Living in that kind of culture really helps you sleep at night too.

You know your culture is toxic when there’s spin on every issue and nothing can be said publicly without ‘agreeing’ on what gets said first

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4. Conflict happens and is never addressed

Conflict is normal. You can’t have two people hang out for long without some differences arising.

Yet so many organizations are in perpetual fighting mode. Someone’s always at way with someone else.

Another reason churches fight regularly is because personal preferences have trumped organizational mission.

Left unattended, conflict can pit one selfish person or group against another.

A lot of bosses won’t address conflict or help resolve it in a healthy, direction and respectful way.

Unresolved or unhealthy conflict saps the strength out of most organizations.

If your organization is stagnant and in conflict, there should zero mystery as to why it isn’t growing.

If your organization is stagnant and in conflict, there should zero mystery as to why it isn’t growing.

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5. There’s an entrenched ‘us’ and ‘them’ mentality

Every organization should be a ‘we,’ not an ‘us’ and ‘them.’

Whether the ‘us’ and ‘them’ mentality exists between factions in your organization or between you and the outside forces, it’s always fatal to health and growth.

The job of a leader is to raise vision high enough and urgently enough for all of us to become bigger than any of us.

The job of a leader is to raise vision high enough and urgently enough for all of us to become bigger than any of us.

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6. No one takes responsibility

So who’s taking responsibility for moving the mission forward?

In unhealthy cultures the answers sound like this:

No one.

Someone.

Anybody but me.

As long as things are someone else’s responsibility, things will never get better.

Unhealthy leaders assign blame. Healthy leaders assume responsibility.

Unhealthy leaders assign blame. Healthy leaders assume responsibility.

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7. You can’t tell the truth

One sure sign a culture has gone toxic is when you feel you can’t tell the truth at work, so you go home ‘dump’ all the truth out on your spouse or best friend instead.

There’s only one problem with that: someone who doesn’t work where you work can’t solve your workplace issues.

But your boss can.

One of the best things you can do as a boss is to encourage your team to speak freely, to tell you the truth…without fear of consequences.

You won’t love everything you hear.

But if you thank them for the feedback, never penalize them for telling you the truth, and take action, you’ll love hearing about the things that are bothering them far more than you’ll love hearing that one of your top team members is leaving.

And, once you know what the real issues are, you can start to solve them.

Someone who doesn’t work where you work can’t solve your workplace issues.

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8. Everyone seems fine with good enough

Toxicity isn’t just about the presence of bad things. It’s also about the absence of great things.

Far too often in workplaces, people settle for good enough when it’s really not, well, good at all.

Toxicity isn’t just about the presence of bad things. It’s also about the absence of great things.

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High capacity leaders are repulsed by mediocrity. The best team members actually crave high levels of challenge and want things to be better, if not great.

Too many organizations allow what is good to stand in the way of what could be great. The surest way to ensure a mediocre future is to resign yourself to a mediocre present.

Too many organizations allow what is good to stand in the way of what could be great. The surest way to ensure a mediocre future is to resign yourself to a mediocre present.

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9. There’s very little gratitude

Most people want to know they’re making a difference. Very few bosses tell them they are.

Recognition and gratitude is a simple way to reduce employee turnover and absenteeism and raise employee engagement.

If your team doesn’t know whether they’re making a difference, they’ll be less motivated to make a difference.

If your team doesn’t know whether they’re making a difference, they’ll be less motivated to make a difference.

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10. Only the boss’ opinion matters

It’s amazing that so many leaders hire a team and never really listen to them.

That’s also one more sign of an unhealthy culture.

It’s easy to think that once you’ve become a leader or boss, it gives you the right to call the shots and make the team and organization bend to your wishes. But as Patrick Lencioni argues, that’s the opposite of true leadership.

As Andy Stanley says, leaders who refuse to listen will eventually be surrounded by people with nothing to say.

Leaders who refuse to listen will eventually be surrounded by people with nothing to say. @andystanley

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Get Your FREE Guide to Creating Better Cultural Value Statements

Want to improve your team culture?

Better team culture gets fueled by better value statements.

But how to do create them can be so complicated.

How:

Do you know which values to choose?
Do you avoid creating value statements people roll their eyes at or think are so obvious they mean nothing?
Can you be sure the values are accurate but still stretch you?

I spent years reading books and studying how to create value statements until I had a breakthrough on how to create cultural value statements that were both accurate and aspirational, and that the entire team embraced.

I’ve broken that process down into three simple steps that can get you improving your organization’s culture and values today.

You can get free instant access to The 3 Step Guide to Developing Better Value Statements here.

What Signs of Toxic Culture Would You Add?

This could have been a 41 point blog post, but I stopped at 10.

What signs of a toxic culture have you seen or experienced?

Scroll down and leave a comment.

The post 10 Signs Your Organization’s Culture is Toxic appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: 10 Signs Your Organization’s Culture is Toxic

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by Carey Nieuwhof: If your team (and family) was being 100% honest, would they say they love being around you?

I know, these are the questions that keep us up at night, or at least should.

I would says the answer for me is sometimes yes, and sadly, sometimes not so much.

How about you?

Earlier this week I had a refreshing experience.  It happened on a good day.

I was boarding a flight to Houston, finishing up a phone conversation with one of my new team members. He’d had a busy few weeks and I was just checking in on how he was doing. I hung up as we were about to take off.

After we reached cruising altitude, the flight attendant came over to me and asked me:

“Was that one of your employees you were talking to?”

“Yes, actually, it was. He just started with me.”

“I’d like an application please.”

It took be back, so I asked him why.

He said this: “I wished I had a boss that cared about me that way.”

Boom.

Now I promise you, he caught me on a good day. I’m not always an amazing boss or human being. I could point out many other days when people should have quit or divorced me.

But it reminded me of how rare it is to be treated well in this world, at work or at home.

So how can you become a kinder, better boss and human being (as in spouse, parent, friend, citizen)?

Here are 15 small things that can make a big difference.

1. Remember how you feel when others (mis) treat you

How did you like to be treated when you weren’t the leader?

Remember that (remembering is a discipline), and then decide to treat people accordingly. This act of remembering can be a powerful motivator.

Nothing is quite as convicting as to have other people treat you as poorly as you treat them. Remember that.

Nothing is quite as convicting as to have other people treat you as poorly as you treat them.Click To Tweet

2. Ask how more than what

Life can be so transaction.

As a boss, spouse or parent, it’s easy to focus on what has to happen next, whether it’s a major project or soccer practice.

But as my friend Jeff Henderson taught me, great people ask how someone is doing not just what they’re doing.

So…ask them how they’re doing even more than you ask them what they’re doing. Ask what they did on the weekend, how they’re feeling, what’s interesting to them.

Ask how someone is doing more often than you ask them what they’re doing and you’ll have very grateful people around you.

Ask how someone is doing more often than you ask them what they’re doing. @jeffhendersonClick To Tweet

3. Say thanks 

Whether you are leading a paid team or volunteer team, say thanks a lot.

Gratitude is a powerful motivator.

Most employees rarely get thanked but love it when they do.

They can work for someone else you know.

Gratitude is a powerful motivator.Click To Tweet

4. Write personal notes of thanks

Whether you include a specific thank you into an email you’re already sending, or write a hand-written thank you note, be sure you thank people regularly.

Expressing gratitude actually makes you more grateful. And yep, this is a discipline for me. But one worthwhile.

5. Smile

Smiling is sometimes a discipline. Even if you have to make yourself smile, it will ultimately make you feel better than when you don’t.

And it will convey a powerful message to the person you’re talking to.

6. Look people in the eye

Eye contact is also rarer these days than ever before.

Smiling while you look at someone will encourage them in a very powerful way.

Many people feel like other people don’t like them. A smile and your full attention conveys that you do.

7. Get good at what you do

Increasing your skill level will make you like what you do more, but it will help your team respect you.

You’ll feel more positive, but so will they.

Don’t expect other people to pull their weight if you won’t pull yours. This goes for leadership at work, but also for home life when the trash needs to be taken out (again).

Leaders, don’t expect other people to pull their weight if you won’t pull yours.Click To Tweet

8. Share some of your weaknesses

You don’t need to share everything, but when you share a few things you might struggle with it goes a long way toward building trust and empathy.

Moreover, you won’t feel as much pressure to put on a ‘show’ and they will feel less pressure to measure up to an impossible standard. This really helps.

People admire your strengths, but they resonate with your weaknesses.

People admire your strengths, but they resonate with your weaknesses.Click To Tweet

9. Take time off

Yes, you’re a leader and you’ve got a crazy life.

But all work and no play = stressed, angry and dull.

10.  Have some fun

Many people don’t like their jobs because they are boring.

We have done everything from trying to make origami without instructions, to road rallies, to going to the movies, to high ropes, to throwing themed parties for staff and volunteers, to simple lunches where we celebrate milestones and people.

If people come to love where they work, they tend to work diligently. Laughter can really break the tension. We laugh a lot on our team, and it makes work a fun place to be.

Uptight people…want a short cut to fun? Take your work seriously, but don’t take yourself too seriously.

Take your work seriously, but don’t take yourself too seriously. Click To Tweet

11. Schedule margin

I struggle most when my schedule is back to back meetings.

If I schedule breaks between meetings, time to get out to stretch my legs at lunch and some time between events, I show up more refreshed. You probably do too.

Rest up. I’m at my most kind when I’m at my most rested. You are too.

Leaders, you’re at your most kind when you’re most rested. So rest. Click To Tweet

12. Celebrate wins

We try to start each meeting with what we call “wins” – how do we know we’re accomplishing our mission?

This is a great discipline because often as a leader I only see the challenges ahead, not the victories that are happening.

Most leaders have far more to be grateful for what they see in any given moment.

Most leaders have far more to be grateful for what they see in any given moment.Click To Tweet

13. Think more about others than you think about yourself 

I’m basically a selfish person. I think most of us are.

If I go into meetings thinking about how I can help others, I do better than when I go into a meeting thinking about what I can get out of it.

And others enjoy those meetings far more.

As C.S. Lewi said, true humility isn’t thinking less of yourself. It’s thinking of yourself less.

True humility isn’t thinking less of yourself. It’s thinking of yourself less. C.S. LewisClick To Tweet

14. Get some help

Still grumpy and angry at the world? Get some help.

I have used counselors in the past and I always have coaches and mentors building into me to help me see my blindspots and get better as a leader.

They really help me work through my issues and grow a more positive spirit.

15. Pray about it 

Prayer. It’s a good idea.

It’s kind of an assumption on this blog that the Christian leaders who read it are reading their bibles and praying, but just to make the implicit explicit, pray about this.

(And yes, I read your comments about “Where’s God and prayer and the Bible on this blog?” I promise you it undergirds every post…really. It’s just every post would be the same if I mentioned them all the time. This blog is about the less obvious.)

If you really struggle with mood, make sure you really pray about it.

Your bad attitude is not news to God or others, and God (and others) will be glad you are talking about it with Him.

You’ll never address what you don’t confess.

You’ll never address what you won’t confess.Click To Tweet

What Do You See?

What helps you be a kinder, gentler leader and human being?

Scroll down and leave a comment!

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