by Greg Curtis: Here is a photo of Michelle and I once we made it down the long road to the Church of All Nations in the Garden of Gethsemane. We are standing in front of what is the oldest Olive Tree in the garden, around a thousand years old.

I recently got back from a bucket list trip to Israel. This is the kind of trip you hope you will get to go on someday and pray it doesn’t let you down.

It did not.

People asked me what I was looking forward to seeing the most. I told them I didn’t want to even go there mentally because I suspected that what I was looking forward to might be eclipsed by things I didn’t even know we were going to see.

That is exactly what happened.

One of those surprise locations was discovered when we got off the bus in Jerusalem. We were on a bluff with a fantastic view of the old city. With a guide ahead of us, he got us access to an old stone road, framed in high walls with a steep decline down toward the valley in front of the city. It had security cameras, occasional wood doors that seemed to offer some kind of access to the kind of stone homes you would visualize a scene from the Bible to take place in. Parts were asphalted, some parts not.

Long, uneven, winding and descending, this was the road that Jesus came into Jerusalem on, riding a donkey the Sunday before his execution.

As I descended, I was awed that I was actually walking the road I had seen on flannel graphs in Sunday School growing up so many Palm Sundays. I had no idea this was what we were going to do on this particular day. But as I watched people from all over the world walk this road with me, a couple principles about connecting with people came to mind.

Two principles to keep in mind for connecting people at your church:

I took this photo on the same road that Jesus rode into Jerusalem on. Picture palms and praise happening on this road, but also note how it had no other options but down through the Kidron Valley and up to the Eastern Gate into the Old City. Our connection path for guests to enter into our church community should be as singular and clear as this.

Make your connection path clear and singular.

I was struck by the high walls and the narrow road that formed this old road into Jerusalem. As it exists now, there’s really no escaping it. Once you go through its locked entrance gate, you will walk this road until it reaches its destination, period. Walking downhill like this, it is also difficult to turn back and go uphill against the crowd.

This made me think of a warning I find myself sharing with Sherpa Leaders who want to create engagement pathways for their guests. The warning is this: Don’t offer guests multiple choice. If you do, they will always choose D) None of the above. Like this road into Jerusalem, offer one connection path they can say yes or no to.

We live in an age where we are inundated by information and options. As a result, we are often in a state of decision fatigue. The “Have it your way” Burger King approach to customer service has been replaced by the “In & Out experience”. In California where I live, In & Out Burger pretty much offers just one thing to order. The only choice is whether to make it a double.

People are paying now for information to be distilled into decisions for them due to decision fatigue. Some have their groceries delivered and chosen for them by others via an app. Some now do this with clothing and wine. Others just stay with the tried and true, foregoing a cheaper price at the Costco-type warehouses around them, opting instead for a smaller less overwhelming market where the choices may be more expensive, but fewer and known.

Please hear this: The same is true for your guests this weekend at church. Trust me: they don’t want to hear about your women’s retreat, men’s work day, every kind of small group, and multiple ways to serve and get involved. They just want to connect and in order to do so, they want one option that looks like it will deliver on that. One option that they can say yes or no to. That’s one option. One.

As a leader, this should inform you in multiple scenarios in your entire church, especially when it comes to growing a follower of Jesus: Have only one ask at the end of any event, program, or environment you create. The good news about this is that you get to decide what you want them to say yes or no to. 100 people saying yes to one thing beats 5 groups of 10 saying yes to 5 things. Yes the number of responders are cut in half because people don’t come to church to evaluate choices you lay before them. They are looking for hope, comfort, grace and God…not a menu.

Offering multiple options creates sidewise energy. Having one clear path you point all guests to that they can choose to walk or not allows you and them to put all your energies into that option and the results become exponential.

For example: At my church, we have no info material at our info counter. None. Why? Because the answer to every question (except “Where’s the bathroom?” and “Is there a doctor in the house?”) is “Next Steps” which is our connection pathway. We’ve designed it to answer every question a guest has.

Similarly, at each of the 4 weekly steps of Next Steps, there is only one ask:

Week One: Follow Jesus

Week Two: Join a small group

Week Three: Serve on a ministry team

Week Four: Try a Compassion Project

Leveraging this simplicity, this year (2020) in Next Steps campus wide we have…

Week One: 31% making a decision to follow Jesus

Week Two: 59% sign up for a small group

Week Three: 73% Choose a ministry team to serve on

Week Four: 65% Express interest in a Compassion Project

Some years we have bested that. If we promoted everything at our church with several asks, I believe those responses would be less than half of what they are. So hear me on this. We cannot afford to dilute a guest’s focus, energy and effort. We must decide what is important and build walls on either side of the pathway so that it leads to just one important step, the best step for them as new or growing Christ followers.

On the road that Jesus came into Jerusalem on, there was only one option: down to the valley that leads to the old city. Our connection path for guest should be that simple. Which leads me to the 2nd principle…

Make your connection path simple, not necessarily easy. There’s a difference.

I took this shot shortly after we began descending toward the valley on the Palm Sunday route. That’s Diane with her cain holding the railing that soon disappeared as we made the descent.

Two days before we got on the plane for Israel, I looked down and one of my knees was swollen. I don’t know why. It just puffed up like a blowfish for reasons unknown to me. So armed with a knee brace I bought at CVS, I slid it on and started the paths and narrow stone stairways that are the ancients ways of getting around in Israel.

It hurt when we went down the Palm Sunday route toward Jerusalem, especially due to the decline. But my challenge was nothing compared to a very fun older lady (let’s call her Diane) who due to her age had a walker or a cane for the entire trip. She is in the photo to the right, holding onto the railing, a railing that was only present for a few yards of the long journey down. But we waited for Diane when we needed to, and her family helped her as well. It was a lot more challenging for her than for me.

What made Diane, myself and others struggling with pain continue on this road with enthusiasm despite our issues? The destination. We were headed to the Garden of Gethsemane, an olive grove where Jesus wrestled in prayer and was arrested. So much of our story begins in this grove that wasn’t really a Garden as we would think of it. It was a working farm that produced the olive oil that was fuel for all their lamps and gave light to the city.

Here’s what I want to remind you of: Where your connection path leads allows you to ask more of those walking it. When you are leading them towards an environment they want to experience or even feel a need for, they will do what you ask, even if its not easy.

When we transitioned from a quarterly 7-week connection experience to a 4 week monthly one, there was some vital content that guests found valuable in making a connection with us that could no longer fit. Rather than throw it away, we took a risk. We added 2 additional “Go Deeper” opportunities to the 3 assignments they already get to complete each week at Next Steps. These “Go Deepers” come in the form of 9 to 30 minute long videos with blanks in their books to fill in. I incentivized the completion of them with a swag gift for everyone at the table with the highest percentage of completion, evidenced by all the blanks filled in. When we launched it, I told myself that I would have been thrilled to have 20% to 30% of guest complete them each week. I was shocked to see 80% to 100% complete them (much to the depletion of our swag budget!).

We discovered that guests love investing an extra hour each week in these Go Deepers because they contain some life giving information that helps them in their journey (not a walk through our statement of faith or our church’s position on specific issues). They come back describing their value, many times through tears.

My learning to pass on to you is this: Though your connection path needs to be simple, do not shrink away from tasks or assignments that have real and obvious value to them because if the destination is desirable, they will do it.

Just ask Diane and I. We would both say yes to a challenge that leads to something meaningful. We powered through our bad knees and got to a section of the garden that not everyone gets to see. It was a part cared for by the Franciscans and we were allowed to explore it and find a our own niche in it for a prolonged period of solitary prayer like Jesus did. It was sooooo worth it.

Make sure what you ask of guests is worth it too, even if it’s not easy. They will do it.

This photo is of a small corner of a large section of the Garden of Gethsemane walled off for private prayer. This was why we ignored our swollen knees and kept walking downhill and it was so worth it.

If you were to ask the following people how a guest can connect and get involved at your church, what would they say?

The Senior Pastor

A random staff person

The average church member

A guest

If there are different answers, why is that? Is it…

a) There is no specified way to connect and get involved

b) There are multiple ways for them to connect and get involved

c) There is a specified way but it is not promoted well

d) Other

What needs to happen next in order to have a singular well promoted and effective connection pathway for guests at your church?

a) Have someone meet with our staff this year to form a more effective connection path for our church (click here for my best resource for that)

b) Learn all the necessary ingredients of a successful assimilation strategy so I can evaluate where we are really at (click here for a resource I have for learning this quickly)

c) Get more education and training about what it takes to even have a successful assimilation strategy (click here for my best educational resource)

d) Learn some dos and don’t for effectively promoting your connection pathway. (click here for help with that)

To receive more resources and ideas on connecting people well at your church each month, let me know briefly who you are below:

Name

*

First Name

Last Name

Email

*

Church Name

*

Church Website

*

Thank you!

Source: Two principals I learned in Jerusalem that will help you connect new people at your church

The post Two principals I learned in Jerusalem that will help you connect new people at your church appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Greg Curtis: This is me and my daughter Carly making our ascent toward Castle Rock (in the background) above Big Bear Lake California. As we hiked, bouldered and climbed, I had 5 powerful things illustrated to me as a Connector in a local church. Scroll down this photo journal to see what I learned.

1. Adjust your expectations of people.

Arriving at a new destination on a hike or in life takes effort. This was an almost 3 mile round trip hike through beautiful forest and waterfalls, ascending and descending almost 900 feet in elevation. Not impossible by any means, but not a walk in the park either. I often say that connecting at your church and mine is not a coast….it’s a climb! Recalibrating our expectations for guests in terms of their readiness to connect and the challenges they face in becoming a real part of a spiritual family would do us well.

2. Pace the journey.

We have not trained for this in any way so at this altitude, we had to stop and rest to pace ourselves to actually reach our goal instead of turning back in exhaustion. New people at our church cannot connect to a new group of friends or a ministry role by just attending one event. Our assimilation events are not gondola rides to the top: they are a leg in the journey. Give them multiple opportunities to pace each part of the process of connecting for them so they will actually reach the summit at your church and not give up.

3. Crowds make the journey less enjoyable.

Recently, 200+ people arrived at the summit of Everest….at the same time! It made for an impossible situation up there, after a colossal effort by everyone to reach the top. Can you imagine planning for what happened in this photo? When Carly and I went on this hike, we encountered only 2 small groups of people and one dog in 3 hours of hiking. We were alone together most of the time, enjoying having nature to ourselves. Breaking down your connection classes into table groups instead of rows really makes the difference between a more connectable experience and a less enjoyable one.

4. Detours happen.

Plan for it. We decided to boulder up a waterfall instead of take the trail. It was a blast but I had to use my GPS, walk over a long fallen tree trunk to cross a stream and maneuver through unfamiliar territory to get back on the trail afterward. This photo reveals some almost stairway like stones that led out of a stream to get us around a rock fall. Sometimes our guests will have some life happen and not return your contacts to get them trained for a new role. Sometimes they won’t finish your on-boarding sessions and opt to finish at a later date. Plan for it and know what you will do to leverage that rather than just let them go into the sunset unconnected.

5. You need a guide to help you.

Unfortunately, I forgot my hiking boots and ended up in some tennis shoes that had little grip. When we arrived at Castle Rock, I could only get up part of the way safely leaving Carly to finish alone. She kept trying for 30 minutes or so but had trouble finding the best route alone. Out of nowhere came two guys who were like mountain goats hopping up the Rock. They offered to slow down to include her in their ascent. When she arrived at the top, it was glorious! Do you have table hosts, Greeters, and people in your office who will function as personalized guides to walk people through their connection journey? This is needed and the results will be awesome!

1. Which one of these 5 lessons is the most important one for your church right now? Which one is most important for your team? Which one is most important for you?

2. What is an expectation that you or your church have towards guests that is proving to be unrealistic?

3. What are some ways to pace the journey of connection? At what junctures do you find the biggest need for some space to process or a break to catch their breath?

4. Brainstorm some of the possible detours that guests take in their journey to connect at your church. After listing them, determine a planned response or way of leveraging that detour to help them continue their journey toward connecting in a small group or a ministry team.

5. How can you make your connection experience smaller and less crowded for those making the climb?

6. Where is the most strategic and helpful place you can place a Sherpa Guide to insure guest make a full connection at your church?

Source: 5 practical things I learned on a hike help me connect people better at church

The post 5 practical things I learned on a hike help me connect people better at church appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Greg Curtis: A Six will ruminate on the worse case scenario until they come up with a plan that is safe and secure for everybody.

It was a Sunday like any Sunday at my church. It was a nice service, met some new families and had some great conversations.

That’s when I heard the sound.

The crunch was unmistakable. It was the sound of metal against metal, plastics against plastics and it had that deafening collision sound that 2 cars make when they have met the hard way.

What I didn’t know was that one of the cars was mine. Yes mine, and my wife was driving it. But the best part was who owned the parked car she ran into: Cindy and Gerry Demint, the first time visitors I had just met.

Nothing like a free gift to exchange for a guests contact info, especially if your One Place to meet guests has just become the church parking lot, complete with onlookers.

I was fortunate in at last two ways. One was that Rhod Marcil, one of our Overseers at the church, owned a dent repair business so he gregariously offered to fix it no cost to either if us. The second was who we hit: we didn’t know it at the time, but this couple who had not yet become followers of Jesus were going to become followers, and cherished life long friends of ours.

Apart from a God who orchestrates such appointments, part of what made this all possible was that Cindy is a Six on the Enneagram.

How a Type Six sees their world

A Six is called most often “The Loyalist”, but sometimes they are listed as “The Skeptic”. They are considered to be the largest demographic on the enneagram, Fours (“The Individualist”) being the most rare.

Sixes see the world as a place fraught with danger. They are rooted deeply in the Fear Triad of the Enneagram and their worse-case scenario thinking and periodic over-vigilance make them known as worriers over those they love. They are hard wired for safety and security and want to know all the details before they commit to something. Their default is suspicion until they know you well and if you ever let them down by choice, lie to them, or do something that put their loved ones in harms way, will then woe be to you. Their North Star is safety and security.

Cindy and Gerry in their backyard where we have enjoyed many a meal over the years.

Sixes are sacrificial. If you are in their family, friendship circle or tribe, their is nothing that will keep them from extending their help or offering their best advise to keep you from risks that can be avoided.

My first interaction with Cindy was not at her first worship service at my church, but in the church office when she came in to ask questions about the camp that her youngest son JT had signed up for. He had been invited by friends to our youth group and he wanted to attend summer camp with them so naturally that activated what I call a Six’s “fear gene”. This is the term I use when talking to Cindy (and to my wife who is a 7 wing 6) and I am referring to a natural life long tendency to see the danger in things before almost anything else. Fortunately, our church and camp passed the test and JT and his brother Peter went to camp.

Cindy and Gerry have 4 children who are all adults now: Tim, Mandy, Peter and JT. After becoming part of our church and hosting a small group, a defining moment happened in their family. It was discovered that a degenerative disease of the nervous system called “Ataxia” that is genetically inherited through the unique combining of the parents genes was in fact the new reality for all 3 of their teen sons. Confining them to wheelchairs over time, Ataxia has similar symptoms to Lou Gerhig’s disease.

As a Six, Cindy has been not just Mother of the Century in my book, she has become a force to be reckoned with in raising awareness and money for research to fight Ataxia. Sixes can find alternative ways, safer ways to accomplish tasks. They are fantastic problem solvers when it comes to risk assessment. As a result, Cindy’s home has been redesigned to give comfort and access to her 3 adult sons. Whenever Cindy and Gerry fly on a plane, they take two flights to ensure that nothing will happen to both parents when their sons will need at least one in their lives.

I would also call a Loyalist an Activist in the sense that if someone needs help whom they love, heaven and earth will be moved to see that they will be safe and well. Our church had and continues to have the privilege of supporting her annual Walk and Roll in Long Beach and Yorba Linda, Brothers on a Quest campaign, and even the premier of a movie made about the Demint family. Cindy serves on the National Ataxia Board and this lady and her husband Gerry still find time to go and support the ministries of our church in other countries and to show up at events for my own kids who see them as a spiritual aunt and uncle.

How Sixes experience your church

It should be no surprise that Sixes see your church as a resource. This sounds like they are takers. Nothing could be farther from the truth. They experience a spiritual family as a network of resources that can be used to bless those both inside and outside that network.

Dos and Don’ts for for connecting a Type Six

Do: Be there for their family and friends in need

One of the high honors I’ve had in my life is baptizing Gerry Demint in the Colorado River at a Men’s River Trip. I love telling him that I didn’t hold him under long enough.

Eventually, almost every family member and close friend of the Demints have attended our church. Because of Ataxia, when their sons attend Christmas services along with their grandparents. we invite them to come early and be escorted into the auditorium first along with others who have any special needs. They are seated in an area where there is space for wheelchairs next to seating for their family and friends. There are individual TV screens for the visually impaired and auditorium hosts who check in to see if they need anything from blankets they can keep if they’d like, to coloring books for kids.

When a church takes care of the special needs of a Six’s family and friends, you are speaking the native language of a Loyalist which leads to an obvious Don’t…

Don’t: Make them do something that would make their friends and family uncomfortable

Sixes may ask you to do things that would help their loved ones connect to God, others or resources that might be unprecedented or even against some rules or policies. Find a way to accommodate them. They are not asking for themselves but for those they care about and hoping to help or lead to faith.

When we do things just because its our policy or its the way we’ve always done it, that breaks trust with a Six if our inflexibility makes their guests uncomfortable in some real way. Being as creative as they are in problem solving would go along way a connecting a Six at your church.

What is the “Superpower” of a Six on a volunteer team?

Sixes become brokers when they volunteer. Because they are loyal to their tribe, anyone in that tribe who is in need of anything-encouragement, financial help, expertise, whatever-will be the beneficiary of a Six matching their needs to your church’s resources.

As a leader, another role that I have personally benefitted from that Sixes regularly take on is that of a consultant. Their natural gravitation toward risk assessment, seeking the safest option, and knowing how the people they love will experience something will eliminate missteps that you couldn’t see otherwise in ministry planning.

One example of this is Olivia Woodward who is on the staff team of one of our campuses. She is invaluable in advocating the safety, comfortability and skepticism that the average guest may have. Her insulating our ministry from avoidable mishaps in volunteer onboarding and communication from the stage has been a gift to our team. All this because she is a Six! See Olivia’s photo on my post on How the Enneagram can help you reach a bigger variety of guests at your church.

As time as gone on, I realize how my life has been impacted and insulated by the presence of Sixes. My grandmother was a SIx. My wife and my son are wing Sixes. Cindy Demint is a Six that affects the lives of people surrounding her in transforming ways.

JT’s Wedding. Not a dry eye in the house.

This year, Cindy’s son JT got married. This is something that we didn’t know would be in the cards for her son but Super Six Cindy made it happen. We had to navigate a lot of conventionality and rules to make it happen, but Cindy has taught me that love does that.

I still get tears in my eyes when I remember the mother/son dance. JT decided to have his sister help lift him out of his wheelchair and stand behind him so he could truly dance with his mom. I know. Killer…

I have known JT since he was in Jr High before Ataxia was a part of his life. I was honored to help officiate at his wedding and his beautiful wife Miriam driven largely by a family who is heavily influenced by the energy of their Six Matriarch. We are all blessed because of her.

What she has done for her sons is astounding and that I get to be a part of that in any way is an honor and a gift as a Christ follower for me.

So connect those Sixes! You will be glad you did.

What concessions or unique opportunities do you have for people with special needs or for elderly guests?

What are the bumpers or guard rails for going off-script when it comes to addressing the unique needs and desires of guests? How do your volunteer teams who serve guests know these boundaries? Are they given permission and even inspired to go off script to wow a guest?

Is there a cautionary Six who you could bring into brainstorming conversations on topics that impact guest experience? Who is it? Email them now!

Get the next post delivered straight to your inbox:

Name *
Name

First Name

Last Name

Email *

Church Name

Church Website

Thank you!

Source: How a Type 6 on the Enneagram experiences your church and how to connect them

The post How a Type 6 on the Enneagram experiences your church and how to connect them appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Greg Curtis: When we had our third child, she was unexpected. We had undergone medical procedures to insure we would not have more children.

Then came Carly.

I often joked that because she was our third, we were lucky to have photos of her. In fact, when I brought her back to the hospital she was born at when she twisted her ankle at 6 years old, we both had a stunning revelation: Her birth certificate revealed we had been celebrating her birthday on the wrong day her entire life. Yep, 2 full days off. I will never forget how she looked at me, a look like, “Are you really my dad? Or are you some guy mom found that was willing to raise me who hadn’t finished reading up on me yet?”

Carly was a voracious reader. The more she liked an author or a series (Twilight, Lord of the Rings, The Space Trilogy, Harry Potter, The Chronicles of Narnia and more), the more she would read them again! I don’t even like seeing a movie twice so I was amazed at how she loved to throw herself into all this material.

Carly was also her mama’s girl. She not only looked like her, but when Carly was ages 2 thru 6, there was no one of mere flesh and blood that could separate her from her mama. I was slapped across the chops for attempting a separation. So was my mother. So was my grandmother.

Carly was even asked to permanently leave a church preschool for 2 reasons:

It required she be separated from her mother and she would not be having that, no.

She would not stop explaining to the other hysterical children that the real Santa Claus who actually lived in the fourth century was now dead.

When Carly knew something, she knew it deep and would/will argue you to the ground if she knew herself to be right.

That spirit of confidence in what she knew and studied not only caused her to graduate with honors, but it made the year I had her as an Assimilation Intern at my church one of the most memorable ones I’ve ever had.

Carly was the one who would accompany me on Base Camps to run things from the back and to answers questions of church staff from all over the country. Carly was the one who discovered that the newly increased frequency of our assimilation program had resulted in 1 out of 5 of those being baptized attending, versus 1 out of 32 of those baptized through our former quarterly program. And it was Carly who I sent to our new LaHabra campus to launch our Assimilation Program (“Next Steps”) with my friend Jeff Sandoval where she led it for a year and half, explaining the faith and our church to new guests.

I actually thought all this was possible because she is MY daughter.

I now know it was largely because Carly is a Five on the Enneagram.

Here’s what a Five fears experiencing at your church. If there are lots of people they don’t know, and decisions are being asked of them that they feel unprepared for, they may start feeling a little like Jon Snow does here.

How a Type Five sees their world

Fives look around and wonder if they have the energy, time and resources to deal with everything that’s surrounding them. If you want to experience the world of a Five, picture yourself as Jon Snow in this battle scene from Game of Thrones. This photo represents not how they necessarily feel, but how they fear feeling when they are in a new environment that could possibly catch them off guard. They fear being overwhelmed and they strive to maintain competency by knowing those around them and the topics that will be focused on in advance.

Because of this, Fives tend to have fewer friends, but go deep with the ones they have, often keeping them for life. The predictability of these relationships creates a secure environment that they feel a mastery over-with a low risk of feeling helpless and a high probability of being seen as helpful.

How Fives experience your church

Ready for this one? Fives see your church as a catalogue. When coming into a church for the first time, Fives aren’t looking for new friends, affirmation, or a spiritual high. They are looking for information. They see your church as a place where information should be readily available about…

God, what He’s like and what he’s not like.

Comparisons to other notions about God.

Where to go to find things (clear signage) and to find answers (info counter).

How to access information about resources that would be helpful to them or others they care about personally.

Where to start.

On that last one, Fives like to have the info organized or indexed in an accessible logical way. In other words, a friendly person inviting them to lunch or to a men’s or women’s retreat is not going to impress them. In fact it may make them uncomfortable. What will impress them is having a place to have the important questions answered first and the space to process the answers to those questions at a pace that allows them to own them. An ordered, logical progression of information is appreciated by Fives and will give them a sense of trust and expectancy as they see answers coming in multiple sermons, sessions, discussions or places. The promise and delivery of intel on this new church they are finding themselves in is the best thing you can do to connect a Five.

“The promise and delivery of intel on this new church they are finding themselves in is the best thing you can do to connect a Five.”

Dos and Don’ts for for connecting a Type Five

Do: Give them info in an organized way.

Clear signage from parking to auditorium are appreciated by a Five. An easy to access info counter is valuable too. Most of all when it comes to becoming part of a church or the Faith for that matter, Fives will value a well thought out step by step program for exploring matters or faith, a church’s vision, and how to become a part.

Don’t: Force them to commit to positions.

Because Fives will commit to an environment where relevant info is discussed and processed, don’t mistake their enthusiasm for learning as an enthusiasm for Jesus or becoming his follower, at least not yet. Their passion is for getting the data necessary for forming a new or more solid position on a topic they had insufficient info on. They will attend faithfully any environment that delivers this kind of information.

When being invited to serve, be careful about placing Fives in roles that require them to believe things or advocate positions that they may not have fully processed or wrestled with. Use them in places that are appropriate to their convictions. They will be good at participating in discussions where the information they obtained that was helpful for them can be shared now to help others.

When they have formed a position or conviction, they will own it in a notable way. Which leads me to thier unique influence as a volunteer.

What is the “Superpower” of a Five on a volunteer team?

When a Five volunteers, they become a docent for others-a tour guide of sorts. They explain the terrain they have studied, what they’ve discovered that has made them feel comfortable, and encourage others to lean into the value of what is being offered-kinda like Carly when she led Next Steps at our new campus after returning from her first year of college.

When a Five feels competent….Or, how Carly appeared when someone would try to separate her from her mother.

Once they have “mastered the material” (their knowledge of God, how he works in people’s lives, how your church operates, etc.), this knowledge will make a Five appear more like Jon Snow in this photo instead of the previous one I shared.

Except they will look more like a tour guide instead of a warrior, so there’s that.

If you are looking for a “Five friendly” way to help your volunteers or staff team form an improved connection pathway for guests of any enneagram number at your church, access my video course here. In six sessions, you can work through a checklist that will help you build the four parts of an effective assimilation strategy into you church within a few months. All this will help you move toward connecting 1 out of 4 guests at weekend services into a small group or a ministry team so that they stick.

If you were information oriented (like a Five), what would be the first 5 pieces of info you would want to know on your first visit to your church? What about the second and third visits? List them in order.

What is the best delivery system for each of those pieces of info? Think location, medium (print, digital, personal) or program.

What environments do you have for people to process faith in Jesus? On a 1 to 5 scale, how well are they working? What is one thing you could do to make them more “Five Friendly”?

Carly today, doin’ her thing.

Get the next post delivered straight to your inbox:

Name *
Name

First Name

Last Name

Email *

Church Name

Church Website

Thank you!

Source: How a Type 5 on the Enneagram experiences your church and how to connect them

The post How a Type 5 on the Enneagram experiences your church and how to connect them appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Greg Curtis: Can you imagine Van Gogh, one of THE largest influences on Western Art, visiting your church this Sunday? One of his paintings sold recently for over 100 million dollars. His style and story have impacted artistic expression, home decor, and Hollywood film. It’s hard to imagine someone of his stature walking into your church lobby.

But that’s not as far fetched as you think.

In addition to being the artistic icon he is now, you may not have known that…

Van Gogh was a pastor’s son

Van Gogh went to Bible College to become a pastor

Van Gogh served as a missionary

Van Gogh was also a Four and Fours are visiting your church right now.

How a Type Four sees their world

The world is inseparable from the unique way in which they see it.

“Real painters do not paint things as they are… they paint them as they themselves feel them to be.”-Vincent Van Gogh

The way Van Gogh saw the world has changed the way we see it. His unique take on people, fields, scenes and himself, has altered how we look at things. Fours are introspective and think about their individuality more than any other number on the Enneagram. Their distinctions, values, opinions and ideologies are important to them because it makes them who they are. To appreciate and understand those things is to understand them.

Because of this, having assimilation environments that are “Four Friendly” means having opportunities for them to be known in a non-judgmental way. Discussion tables with hosts that know this and can guide discussion with the goal of knowing them rather than analyzing them is key. They see their take on things as a huge part of their contribution to a church. Their biggest fear? To be lost and unknown in the crowd.

Van Gogh paints a cottage a few years apart. Note the first one is dark and somber, the second is light and whimsical. This is a window into the life of a Four.

Their world can be a tumultuous place

You’ve heard of the phrase “tortured artist”? At times, this can describe Fours but this next statement is very important: not all creative people are Fours. Far from it. The truth is, Fours have a higher percentage of creatives in their populace than any other number. Just remember that just because you are a creative or gifted artist that does not mean you are a four. I have 4 very creative artist in my family (3 of them professional artist) but none of them are Fours.

That being said, the world of a Four is a world that can have exceptional highs and bitter lows. Van Gogh tried multiple times to pass his Theology Exams to become a pastor but failed each time. When he then chose to serve as a missionary to coal miners in Belgium, he chose to live with them on straw beds in poverty rather than in clergy housing. Those in charge of the ministry saw this as “undignified” and removed him in such a way as he had to walk over 47 miles to Brussels where he eventually committed himself to an Asylum.

He is thought to have been bi-polar and his art may betray that. Though Fours to not have a corner on mental illness any more than another number, the roller coaster of their emotional landscape can be a challenge for themselves and those who love them.

They are in search of the ideal

Van Gogh would paint the same scene over and over again in an effort to capture the magic of how he saw a subject. Do not be surprised when a Four shows up at your church if they have tried churches over and over again to find the magic of how they want to experience God and themselves as a follower of Jesus.

The perceived uniqueness of a Four feeds their search for the ideal, even ideal church. If not church, the ideal vision, theology, concept of spiritual formation, or ideal sense of belonging. Belonging and being understood is huge for a four. Taking the time to get to know and appreciate both them, and their ideals, is essential to connecting them in families of faith.

How Fours experience your church

Ready for this one? Fours see your church as a buffet. They are looking for the things that they like to use and digest the most, as well as to discover some others that would help them grow as an individual. Another way of saying this inspired by Van Gogh is that Fours see your church as a palette with many colors to choose from that they can paint something new from. This equates to the variety of small groups, ministry teams and even potential friends that your church can offer them.

So how to you help connect with and converse with a Four without making them want to remove part of their ear? Here are the Dos and Don’ts.

Dos and Don’ts for for connecting a Type Four

Do: Let them explore something deeply

They have a heard time coloring between the lines and with staying to a strict stop start date. I can remember people in my church with an artistic Four type leaning that would stay up almost the entire night with some friends decorating our church for Christmas. When I came in the morning, words fail to describe the world they created for us to experience Jesus in.

They were really just letting us into what they already saw. That is a privilege and you need to give Fours the ability to go deep and long, not just wide or to “check a box”. Again, this applies to theology, art, tasks, experiences and relationships. Know what ministries and contexts in your church have this flexibility and passion and guide them towards it.

Don’t: Make them feel guilty for not finishing something

Passion ebbs and flows and so can the heart and attention of a pure Four. Allowing them to taste the buffet and not finish the meal is important here. Acknowledging their contribution to an endeavor, even though it may seem incomplete, is key. You will figure out how to leverage their contributions over time as well as how “not” to use them.

Fours are in the Shame Triad of the Enneagram and guilt along with judgement are particularly painful to them. They may avoid it, avoid church or a specific leader, or even God if it is used to lead them.

How do you lead and connect them? By remembering that they are not EGRs (Extra Grace Required). They are just GRs (Grace Required) like the rest of us. While we can getaway with brash criticism with some other types, you do not have that luxury with Fours without doing damage. Van Gogh’s ultimate suicide at age 37 is a cautionary tale not just to his own choices but also to those around him who struggled to love someone who suffered from mental illness as a Four.

What is the “Superpower” of a Four on a volunteer team?

Even though he had a wife and a new born son, Vincent’s brother Theo seemed to have trouble embracing a world without his older brother in it. Theo died at age 34.

Ideas. They have them. These ideas form ideals that become guiding lights or “values” that a ministry can build on. These are common contribution of a four.

Their creativity can express itself in art. It can also express itself in creative solutions to long standing problems or even issues with people that your ministry has faced. Give them a go at it.

They are also great endorsers of authors and teachers that can become important resources to develop a ministry or a team. Wade through their bibliographies.

David Sotelo is a young adult in the photo in my introduction to this series. He is a Four. He has recommended books and that are rocking my world right now. Let Fours do that to you. They will love it and you will benefit.

Van Gogh’s life, though tragic was high impact. When he passed away, his brother Theo passed away shortly after. His older brother was a big part of his world. Fours, though unique in their perspectives and sometimes moody, offer a whole new world to the tribe that includes them. So include them. You’ll be glad you did.

Does your assimilation strategy (and church culture for that matter) have the flexibility for someone to not finish something and yet still have opportunities to serve and be valued?

Does your church have small groups that could be categorized as “special interest” groups where people who have a passion for a niche area of theology, art, or ways of looking at things (i.e. the Enneagram) can be explored more deeply?

Tell a story of someone you suspect is a four that found a meaningful ministry role at your church. Tell a story of a Four that was a challenge to assimilate. What are the “whys and hows” behind each story?

It there a place at your church where a Four could share their perspective and ideas without having to be the one to implement them? Where are good brain storming and evaluation opportunities that Fours could share their unique take on things and benefit the development of ministry at your church?

Get the next post delivered straight to your inbox:

Name *
Name

First Name

Last Name

Email *

Church Name

Church Website

Thank you!

Source: How a Type 4 on the Enneagram experiences your church and how to connect them

The post How a Type 4 on the Enneagram experiences your church and how to connect them appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Greg Curtis: In 1999, I saw them throughout my church but thought they would leave it, unconnected.

Several business owners were coming into my church and connecting at a descent level with me personally but not relationally with others in the church. I began asking myself why and came up with these 2 observations:

Entrepreneurs are not “joiners” and value their independence so they don’t jump on the same band wagons other guests do (i.e. your assimilation environments).

Entrepreneurs see the glass half empty, share an often unappreciated critical eye on things, and are always thinking about how that glass can become full.

I didn’t want to risk these men, some of them new believers, drifting out of the church. They were great guys and I enjoyed their company. They were never going to find each other as they weren’t the kind to “jump in” to the 101, 201+ classes we had at the time.

So I took matters into my own hands.

I invited them to a 3-week meet and greet at one of their homes-some good food, wine and cigars included. I was excited for them to meet each other and they had chemistry from the first moment on. I opened with Psalm 133 and what it’s like when brothers dwell together in unity and then shared my fear of them not connecting and my 2 observations as to why. They wholeheartedly agreed and related to it all. I then went for the jugular: Would they be willing to commit to a 3-week study with me on King Solomon’s business strategies? After which time I would bow out and let them lead themselves.

What happen next taught me even more about how Achievers approach life.

How do Threes see their world?

Threes are called Achievers because they see the world as a place filled with opportunities to demonstrate their value by overcoming challenges, creating better results, and reaching unreached goals. Because they easily gauge their value by how others value their contribution, Threes can polish their results a little more shiny then they actually are, glossing over some important issues that may also need to be addressed to maximize a win.

The driving emotion and source of reaction of each triad of the Enneagram.

Not surprisingly, failure is the most fearsome thing a Three can conceive of in this life. Twos, Threes and Fours are all part of what the Enneagram calls the Shame Triad. We can easily see a failure not as something we did or didn’t do, but as something we are and the drive to avoid that is an energy that pushes a three forward. Only Jesus himself has broken that drive in me and speaking it out and spotting it in others is part of my passion in ministry.

The fact that I am a 3 wing 2 (click here to read my primer on the enneagram and your church, including what “wings” are) adds color to my quest for value. As an Achiever with a Helper wing, it means I have a desire to help people achieve something of high value. This makes the coaching role a natural one for me and also makes the role of a Sherpa helping others ascend a summit even more compelling to me. I know it fuels me as I lead Base Camps for churches to help them connect people well.

How do Threes see your church?

Threes tend to see church as a hoop, or a series of hoops. By hoop, I mean something to jump through in order to achieve something. That sounds unappealing, unorthodox, but it’s true. We threes need to see the environments that we choose to live in as places we can win in, places where we can make a difference. If we can’t see that, we won’t jump. We want to be known as someone who can deliver on something that is needed, even vital to any community we are a part of and church is no exception.

This of course makes us vulnerable to feeling like we only have value when we perform. I can remember carrying the book “When I Relax I Feel Guilty” by Tim Hansel everywhere I went my senior year of high school. It spoke to me so powerfully because my most profound struggle in the first half of my life was to find my value in what God had done for me, not what I had done for him. It would be years before I overcame that handicap.

Dos and Don’ts for for connecting a Type Three

Do: Put them in charge of something

Make sure there is a goal or objective to achieve or they will become bored. They are not maintainers so don’t put them in charge of taking care of something. They are designer/developers so put them in charge of something that needs to be turned around, something that has the potential to leave a mark and move the ball forward for your church and its vision. If your church has an area to turn around or an objective it has struggled to achieve, have a Three put a proposal together and empower him to act on that plan.

This approach is key to assimilating Threes as they don’t usually jump into your assimilation program. They value their independence too much to jump through that hoop with the rest of the cattle. The way to get them in it is to put them in charge of something the requires them to be there. Then they sense that you see them as valuable and if the program is obviously a good primer to ministry effectiveness at your church, they’ll do it. Ask them for their input to make it a better program while they attend and you’ll exponentially increase your ability to connect them.

Don’t: Nag or micro-manage them

Threes find their value in their ability to perform and deliver. By hovering over them or giving them a script, you communicate a lack of confidence in their ability to deliver. Hold them accountable for results and challenge them to come up with ways to achieve them. Be careful not to put them under leaders who would want them to adhere to old scripts or strategies that have produced the status quo results that you are wanting them to move beyond.

What is the “Superpower” of a Three on a volunteer team?

Threes have a wizard’s ability to develop a ministry. If needed, they can do it from scratch. With a bent toward helping a ministry achieve great results, they can design (or redesign) something in such a way as to increase its ability to accomplish things. When they invest in people, they can give them the ability to accomplish things as well.

When you give a Three an area to develop they will:

Invest time in research.

Work extra hours

Deliver results

Drive people toward their best selves

Provide passion and enthusiasm for those joining them in the task.

Add some periodic recognition here and there to assure them of their value and you will be able to harness their superpower of development for your church’s ministry for a long time to come.

Challenging young adults from Chile, Ecuador and Peru to become connectors at the Vive Conference in 2018. A Three wing Twos paradise.

So remember that group of entrepreneursI told you about? I got them to attend for three weeks. That was 1999. They told me I couldn’t go anywhere after that and now, after 20 years, we still meet. I consider these guys among the best friends I have on earth. We’ve vacationed together, walked each other through health, marriage and economic crisis’ together, and I cannot picture my life without them. We’ve even studied the Enneagram together.

In addition, they became Elders in our church, served on international mission boards, helped build orphanages in Mexico, bought property for schools in Kenya, built homes in Chile, and helped build local shelters for battered women in our community raising countless dollars in the process. I have learned a lot from these men.

Above all, I learned that if you consider the Dos and Don’ts, you can connect Threes like them into authentic friendship and high impact ministry. If you do the same, you’ll be glad you did.

Two Freebies to help you use the Enneagram to better connect with guests:

Andy Stanley’s Podcast on the Enneagram for Leaders part 1. This is an interview with Ian Morgan Cron (my personal favorite speaker and writer on the Enneagram) and Andy’s daughter…who is a Three! This was so informative that I can’t wait for part 2.

My Instagram. What? How? I am posting some useful assets to this series there including 9 different guests scenarios at your church and how each number on the Enneagram experiences them for better or worse. Sharing these with your staff can produce some healthy (and at times humorous) assessments on the connectability of your church’s assimilation strategy for a wide variety of Enneagram types. Follow me there and join the fun, resources and bite-size insights that I share no where else.

Do you know any new people to your church who might be a Three? What are some ways these Achievers could be more easily identified? How would you shape the “ask”?

What kinds of roles do you think an Achiever would find fulfilling at your church? What result oriented challenge could they speak into? What task force could they put together to address an issue that could result in a breakthrough for your church’s vision?

Name 3 adjectives you would use to describe your church’s leadership culture in relationship to Threes. Is this a friendly or unfriendly environment for connecting a Three? What is one strategic decision that would create a more effective leadership environment for an Achiever?

Source: How a Type 3 on the Enneagram experiences your church and how to connect them

The post How a Type 3 on the Enneagram experiences your church and how to connect them appeared first on Passion for Planting.