By: Carey Nieuwhof

Let me guess. You feel like you really need to de-stress.

2020 has been unreal, and almost unbelievably trying—far different than any year you’ve led through before.

Every leader I talk to is tired. Well, more than just tired. Stressed. Deeply stressed.

And kind of exhausted.

There’s a fatigue that comes with crisis that’s a little hard to describe.

The adrenaline that got you through the first month gave way to the sustained drone of decision after decision, assault after assault, and disappointment after disappointment.

So you’ve lived for your summer break. I get it.

Everybody has.

There’s a fatigue that comes with crisis that’s a little hard to describe.Click To Tweet

Now the bad news. And as tough as it is to hear, your time off this summer probably won’t be enough to refuel you or even fully destress you.

Yeah, I know.

In fact, if you look back on your leadership, you probably already know that you rarely if ever completely destress on your time off. If you’re not sure about that, just ask your spouse or kids. They’ll tell you what it’s like to vacation with you.

And even if you get a few fleeting glimpses of peace at some point in your weeks off, they usually evaporate the moment you head back to work. It’s like two weeks of progress get erased within minutes of heading back to work.

So two questions:

First, “why?”

And second, “what should you do?”

Let’s tackle each in turn.

Why Doesn’t Time Off ‘Work’?

1. Time Off Won’t Heal You When Your Problem Is How You Spend Your Time On

The problem with most leaders is not how we spend our time off. It’s how we spend our time on.

I learned the lesson of time off that doesn’t refuel you the hard way. The worst summer of my life happened back in 2006.

Personally, after 11 years in leadership, I was burning out. I suspected burnout but I thought I could stop it with a vacation, because, you know, I’m strong like that and only weak people burn out. (Yes I know, but tell that to young me who didn’t listen well.)

I took three weeks off that July. I was convinced I would heal and everything would be back to normal by August 1st.

What scared me to death that year is that instead of getting better during my vacation, I got worse.

I moved into a deep slide and cratered out in August…a burnout deep enough that it took me months to get out of and then a few years to finally shake.

You know what I learned in that season (along with about 1 million other lessons)?

How I spent my time off wasn’t the solution, because how I spend my time off wasn’t my problem.

Your time off can’t save you if the problem is how you spend your time on.

Your time off can’t save you if the problem is how you spend your time on.Click To Tweet

The problem for most exhausted and depleted leaders isn’t how you spend your time off, it’s how you spend your time on.

Back in 2006, my crisis was personal. I was living at an unstainable pace. As the church I led grew, my formula was more people equals more hours. And that’s fundamentally unsustainable.

Today, the crisis is global and we’re all going through it. If the formula is more crisis equals more hours, we’re all doomed as leaders.  Sure, the initial stages of a crisis require long hours and hard decisions. But when you head into a prolonged crisis, well, you need a new strategy.

Which takes us back to this summer: when you’re exhausted, how you spend your time off isn’t the solution. How you spend your time on is.

The initial stages of a crisis require long hours and hard decisions. But when you head into a prolonged crisis, well, you need a new strategy.Click To Tweet

2. This is Why Sabbaticals and Leaves Generally Don’t Solve Burnout

You might be thinking, Exactly, Carey—which is why I need a sabbatical or leave of some kind. 

Well, maybe. But probably not.

For years I’ve puzzled over why so many sabbaticals and other forms of leave generally don’t solve burnout.

I can’t tell you the number of leaders I’ve known on the verge of burnout who have taken a sabbatical to deal with their stress or fatigue, get better, and then come back only to feel as bad or worse within months of their return. And then often, they leave—for good.

Although I’ve never taken a Sabbatical or extended leave, I think they can be great when they have a defined purpose and you’re not running into them or back out of them into a frantically unsustainable life.

A Sabbatical isn’t the solution for an unsustainable pace. A sustainable pace is the solution for an unsustainable pace.

When the way you’re living and leading is broken, all the time in the world off won’t fix it.

When the way you’re living and leading is broken, all the time in the world off won’t fix it. Click To Tweet

So…What Will Help?

If the problem is how you spend your time on, here are a few things that can help.

First, when you’re off, take some time to take stock of what happened.

You have been through so much and my guess is you’ve hardly stopped to process it.

I found myself unusually tired a few weeks ago. There was nothing ‘wrong’ with my schedule. I’d taken a full weekend off,  and my day wasn’t jammed full with meetings.

I actually had writing time scheduled in my calendar, which is something I love, and it was designed to help me finish writing a new course on leading a better team we’re launching in a few months.

But I was struggling to get motivated. I was far more tired than I should be.

When I wondered what was going on, I realized that although I love writing and producing online courses for leaders, I was writing my fourth course in four months, something I’d never done before.

That, on top of all the crisis leadership all of us have been through left me feeling, well, not myself.

In the end, the course production and filming went really well, but the lesson wasn’t lost.

What’s the best thing to do about that? Well, name it, surrender it and make a note to file for the future you that writing and producing four courses in four months is super taxing.

Until you understand why you’re tired, it’s hard to figure out how not to get that tired.

So what’s making you tired?

If your answer is everything, take a little more time to break it down. You’ll likely discover some things weigh more heavily than others.

Until you understand why you’re tired, it’s hard to figure out how not to get that tired.Click To Tweet

Finally, grieve your losses. A mentor once told me that ministry is a series of ungrieved losses. Oh man, is he right.

When he shared that with me I realized how many losses I’d experienced that I never grieved (as small as someone leaving your church, which isn’t that small).

Ministry is a series of ungrieved losses. So is life.

Do you know how much loss you’ve experienced since March?

Take some time to pray through them, grieve through them, and maybe even sit down with a good friend or therapist to process it all.

You’ll be glad you did.

Ministry is a series of ungrieved losses. So is life. Click To Tweet

With all that processed during the relative quiet of summer, how do you avoid being eaten alive heading back into leadership?

While I have a deep and robust strategy that’s helped me deal with everything life and leadership have thrown at me for years now, here are three things that can help right now.

1. Make Some Categorical Decisions

Categorical decision making is a superpower for leaders who have too much to do, which these days is most leaders.

By default, you make decisions one by one in leadership…as they come at you or need to be made.

One of the best ways to simplify decision making is to think in categories.

For example, when the COVID crisis hit, I had a lot of internal decisions to make as a leader (things my organization needed to do to survive), and soon I was faced with a bunch of requests for podcast interviews, webinar appearances, online events and even to join staff meetings virtually.

At first, my team and I looked at each request individually, but as they piled up (often a half dozen requests a day), we moved to categorical decision making. I decided to politely decline all podcast interviews, virtual events, webinars, online events of staff meetings.

Done, decision made.

We made a couple of exceptions, but not many.

The result? My team had clarity. I had clarity. And people understood.

Plus, I had time to work on some big projects I needed to get done.

Heading back into leadership, what things can you categorically eliminate?

This will take you a while to think through, but over the years I’ve done things like categorically eliminate doing weddings and funerals, pastoral visitation,  breakfast meetings (I’m most productive in the morning), lunch meetings or even meetings over an hour (and much more).

This will also force you to create systems for these important things that are not dependent on you and far more deeply empower your team.

I always get asked Do you make exceptions? And yes, I do.

I’ve done a few weddings, some visitations, a few funerals and even the odd breakfast meeting. But the exceptions are so much easier to manage than the deluge of yesses that probably should have been nos. And if I participate in your wedding, it’s probably because you’re on my staff or are family, a pretty easy exception to explain.

And ideally, your elimination of one category should free up time to focus on something more important or strategic. Another way to think about it is to reach more people, I need to eliminate X. 

If you’re skittish or worry about FOMO, try this: make it time-limited. In other words, for three months I’ll do no breakfast meetings. Or until the end of the year, I won’t do outside projects or requests.

Categorical decision-making saves mental energy and a tremendous amount of time because you already made the decision. Case closed. Move on.

Categorical decision-making saves mental energy and a tremendous amount of time because you already made the decision. Case closed. Move on.Click To Tweet

2. Simplify, Simplify, Simplify

This one’s easy to understand and very difficult to do.

At the best of times, complexity is your enemy. And many leaders have a strategy that’s overly complex.

Complexity doesn’t scale, and at a certain level, it’s also exhausting.

Complexity doesn’t scale, and at a certain level, it’s also exhausting. Click To Tweet

Simple is not simplistic.

As Woody Guthrie is quoted as saying, “Any fool can make something complicated. It takes a genius to make it simple.”

Great leaders stick with a problem or idea long enough and engage it deeply enough to clear away the fog and reduce the concept to its simplest forms so anyone can understand it and implement it.

Ask yourself, what things can you stop doing so you can start doing more important things?

A simple, leaner model will likely help you thrive in complicated times.

One easy cut from most churches or organizations is anything you have to ‘manufacture’ energy for (I explain that here).

The more complex the world becomes, the simpler your approach to it needs to be.

The more complex the world becomes, the simpler your approach to it needs to be.Click To Tweet

3. Ditch The Endless WorkDay/WorkWeek

If you haven’t worked from home as much in the past as you are presently, the boundaries between work and home and likely as blurry as they’ve ever been.

I’ve been working from home part of the time for much of the last 25 years and full-time for the last five. It took me years to figure out how to do it well, but I’m more convinced than ever that you need a strategy to make sure your work doesn’t envelop your life.

Technology has not made this simpler.

You’re watching Disney+ with your daughter after dinner and a co-worker texts you about your expense report.

You used to go to the office, but thanks to technology, now the office goes to you. And it’s fully capable of interrupting you any time, anywhere, even on vacation.

Because I love what I get to do, I’ve had to force myself to make hard stops, putting my laptop away, turning off all notifications on my device, moving my phone out of my bedroom at night, and deciding that some things can wait.

Want a good little hack to help you break your work/technology addiction? Get a hobby.

You’ll get so engrossed in it that you’ll lose the desire to even check your phone.

You used to go to the office, but thanks to technology, now the office goes to you. And it’s fully capable of interrupting you any time, anywhere, even on vacation.Click To Tweet

Something To Focus On

Since I burned out, my mantra has been to try to figure out a way to live in a way today that will help you thrive tomorrow.

I think that’s a good principle. I don’t always get it right, but when I do, things are so much better.

If you’re not thriving—and many leaders aren’t, even in the best of times—adjust today to improve tomorrow.

Living in a way today that will help you thrive tomorrow will help you win the marathon ahead.

Simplify the Changes You’re Going To Make…

How are you going to make the change you need to make without exhausting yourself or your team?

As complex as things are, having a simple framework to navigate the change will make the task ahead much easier.

If you want to position yourself for the future, my brand new online training, the 30-Day Pivot, will show you how to develop your agility as a leader and as an organization to position yourself for growth.

The 30-Day Pivot is a simple 3-step process you and your team can utilize every as often as every 30 days to respond to the change around you and capitalize on it.

In the 30-Day Pivot, you’ll learn:

A simple 3-step process your team can use to arrive at your next pivot in 90 minutes or less.
An approach that fosters team-generated innovation.
An implementation and evaluation framework that will help your team move quickly and accurately.

I’ve led teams through multiple pivots, and in the 30 Day Pivot, I show you the strategy and framework you need to make quick, accurate and responsive moves that can position your organization for growth, even in the midst of deep uncertainty and change.

Some organizations and churches will thrive in the new normal.

Others won’t.

While the future is uncertain, yours doesn’t have to be.

What Helps You?

What helps you figure out the relationship between time off and time on?

How do you refuel in every season?

Scroll down and leave a comment!

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Source: Why Your Time Off Will Never Be Enough to Truly DeStress You

The post Why Your Time Off Will Never Be Enough to Truly DeStress You appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Shawn Lovejoy: We are not wired to function without rest.

Take a moment and personalize that.

YOU are not wired to function without rest.

This is true on a base human level, but it is a good lesson for leaders as well. “Burning the midnight oil” is a great metaphor, but does not make a leader effective over the long haul.

Leaders need rest.

You need rest.

Here are 4 reasons why.

You need rest because…

Tired eyes rarely see a bright future.

Leaders are dealers of hope. Inspiring others to better days is our core task. Exhaustion causes us to see the future dimly. It is impossible to inspire when we feel stuck in the mire. Rest removes us from the pressure of the urgent to see the possibilities of the future. Those you lead are struggling to see past the immediacy of their own moment. They need you engaged in the potential of what lies ahead.

When fatigue walks in faith walks out.

Leadership is hard. At the core of a great cause is the belief that what you are doing will work. A lack of rest robs us of the strength to hold on to that belief. It is ok to get tired, but it is not ok to stay tired. You have to lead yourself enough to recognize when you need to hit pause. One indicator is when you begin to see things through the dark veil of fear. Rest renews faith.

Exhaustion makes mountains seem taller and valleys seem lower.

When a leader is tired what once looked like a challenge morphs into an impossibility. Leaders tackle big mountains and persevere through dark valleys. Perspective helps keep leaders balanced during turbulent times. Rest is the key that unlocks perspective.

Decisions when you’re worn out result in potential fall out.

I heard someone say, “Don’t make a big decision when you’re tired.” Instead of pressing through and forcing decisions it is often best to wait. If I face a major decision while I feel pressured or tired, I make the decision to wait!  When you are exhausted being decisive can become divisive. Wait, rest, then decide.

Your next leadership breakthrough may come on the other side of a nap!

talk to a coach

order now

Source: 4 Reasons Leaders Need Rest

The post 4 Reasons Leaders Need Rest appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Carey Nieuwhof: You’re probably feeling a little tired.

And if that’s the case, you’re not alone. Exhaustion, anxiety and stress seems to be a growing problem in leadership.

Recently, a planned sabbatical made headlines when mega-church pastor Howard-John Wesley stood before 4500 worshippers in early December and told them he was tired and taking a Sabbatical.

“I am tired in my soul,” Wesley said, among many other things he shared.

There was no scandal, no moral failure…just fatigue—a soul-weariness that most of us who have led for more than a few minutes know all too well. (The full message is a great listen for any leader struggling with fatigue…and the message is better than the articles that summarize it. Howard-John is nuanced, thoughtful and very real. Listen here.)

What encouraged me so much about Wesley was his decision to take a break before something bad happened—or at least something worse than the fatigue and frustration he confessed to. As he said in the message, he’s not burned out. He’s coming back. But he’s tired.

When you peel behind the headlines of mega-church pastor failures, business leaders who get fired, the resignations of politicians and even implosion of athletes, one common theme is that many of them were tired…dead tired. (I offer some thoughts on why mega-church pastors keep failing in this post.)

Run on empty for long, and it’s almost inevitable that you end up doing something you (and many others) will regret for a long time.

So—now the big question— why is leadership so exhausting?

Here are 5 reasons I’ve seen in my own leadership and life.

1. Your Ratio of Output to Input Is Skewed

One of the chief roles of leadership is to produce. Think about it.

As a leader, you’re responsible for:

results

content

the team

wins

changed lives

progress

widgets

financials

And that’s just a partial list.

All of which means your job as a leader is to create outputs.

But like a bank account, outputs have to be at least matched, if not exceeded, by inputs. Otherwise, you go bankrupt.

If you were to look at your life right now, what’s your ratio of output to input? My guests for most leaders it’s running 5:1. Or maybe 10:1.

That’s a problem.

Inputs for leaders include rest, learning, growth, life-giving relationships, spiritual development, healthy eating, exercise, training, outside ideas, hobbies and…(remember this?)…fun.

If your output consistently exceeds your input as a leader, you’re on the road to bankruptcy.

If your output consistently exceeds your input as a leader, you’re on the road to bankruptcy. Click To Tweet

2. You’re Never Really Off

Technology has changed so much in the last decade.

Because of the pressures of leadership, leaders have always had a hard time being ‘off’. There’s always more to be done.

But smartphones and the proliferation of inboxes on every single social platform, and ‘advances’ like Slack, email, text messaging and plain old voicemail means a leader is never really off.

You used to go to work, now, thanks to technology, work goes to you…and never leaves you.

It might be easy to think you’re just taking 5 minutes out of your family’s Disney+ movie night, but every interaction takes its toll.

I have friends in medicine who are on call all the time. They tell me they never sleep the same knowing they could be called. Even if they happen to make it through the night without a call, they still don’t wake up as rested.

These days, that’s pretty much all of us.

You used to go to work, now, thanks to technology, work goes to you…and never leaves you.Click To Tweet

3. And You’re Never Really On

In the same way work follows you everywhere you go via your pocket or purse, your life now follows you to work.

Not only are you tired from not enough sleep, and stressed from working a bit the night before, but now your whole life is accessible at work. You can book dinner reservations, text your family, check your personal social media accounts and so much more.

As a result, it’s harder to focus at work and stay productive.

You’re never really on, and you’re never really off. You just live in a perpetual grey zone.

Because of technology, you’re never really on, and you’re never really off. You just live in a perpetual grey zone. Click To Tweet

4. There’s No Finish Line

Even if you’re never really on and never really off, there’s an even bigger question: when are you done leading?

Correct. Never.

The blessing and curse of leadership is that there’s always more: more people to serve, people to reach or clients to acquire.

And then there’s better.

One of the things that drives most leaders is the desire to improve. Which is awesome, and often very needed.

But eventually, excellent brings diminishing returns. If your work amounts to, say, an 8.5 out of 10, for example, making it a 9.5 might take you hours, or days, or even thousands (or hundreds of thousands of dollars). And for what?

When something that might requires double the effort or dollars only produces 10% more, you have to question the return on investment. Especially when, in all likelihood, 10% more effort in another area might produce 30% greater results.

Unaware of the diminishing returns, most leaders keep pushing for no real reason.

And here’s the sobering reality: if you don’t declare a finish line, your body will.

If you don’t declare a finish line, your body will. Click To Tweet

5. Rest looks like weakness 

For a lot of us in leadership, rest either looks like weakness or unfaithfulness.

It’s actually just the opposite.

Elite athletes know that recovery is key to performance. Without sleep, nutrition and rest, your body just can’t perform at top levels.

Neither can you.

I still find it hard to be still, because rest looks like unproductive time to me. And deep down, I fear underneath that is laziness.

Most driven, tired leaders I know are anything but lazy. Laziness is resting when you’re not tired. Resting when you’re tired and building in recovery days and even seasons can be the difference between you leading for years or leading well for decades.

Rest isn’t weakness. A rested you is a better you and a sharper you.

Rest isn’t weakness. A rested you is a better you and a sharper you. Click To Tweet

Two Ways To Beat the Fatigue

Beyond the obvious “get some rest”, what can you do to defeat your fatigue? I’m literally writing a book on this right now, but here are two ideas that can help right now.

First, monitor your ratio of output to input. If you’re consistently putting out more than you’re taking in (as covered in Point 1), then adjust the ratio.

Reduce output voluntarily before exhaustion and burnout reduces your output involuntarily.

Second, be radically proactive about self-care. 

A decade ago, John Piper (a pastor of a large church with a global ministry) took a pro-active leave , and was exceptionally candid about some of the problems that were surfacing him that he wanted to address and work on.

In Piper’s case, there was no presenting ‘crisis’, but he felt one brewing.

In Piper’s own words:

I asked the elders to consider this leave because of a growing sense that my soul, my marriage, my family, and my ministry-pattern need a reality check from the Holy Spirit. On the one hand, I love my Lord, my wife, my five children and their families first and foremost; and I love my work of preaching and writing and leading Bethlehem. I hope the Lord gives me at least five more years as the pastor for preaching and vision at Bethlehem.

But on the other hand, I see several species of pride in my soul that, while they may not rise to the level of disqualifying me for ministry, grieve me, and have taken a toll on my relationship with Noël and others who are dear to me. How do I apologize to you, not for a specific deed, but for ongoing character flaws, and their effects on everybody? I’ll say it now, and no doubt will say it again, I’m sorry. Since I don’t have just one deed to point to, I simply ask for a spirit of forgiveness; and I give you as much assurance as I can that I am not making peace, but war, with my own sins.

Wise. Wise, wise, wise. Very wise.

If you start getting healthy before there’s a crisis, you’ll have fewer crises.

If you start getting healthy before there’s a crisis, you’ll have fewer crises. Click To Tweet

READY TO GET HEALTHIER?

Exhausted thinking about how much work is ahead of you?

Good news. A small investment will pay huge dividends in getting you healthier and freeing up time to make your organization healthier.

I’d love to help you do that.

I’ve helped over 3000 leaders free up hundreds of hours each year and often 3 hours a day to do what they feel they never have time for and get healthier in the process.

My High Impact Leader course, is my online, on-demand course designed to help you get time, energy and priorities working in your favour.

It’s perfect for leaders who feel like they never have enough time in the day to get the really important things done.

Many leaders who have taken it are recovering 3 productive hours a day.  That’s about 1000 hours of found time each year. That’s a lot of time for what matters most.

Here are what some alumni are saying about The High Impact Leader Course”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you for providing the course again. It has absolutely made an impact in my life and family already that I can’t even describe.” – Joel Rowland, Clayton County, North Carolina

“Just wow.  Thank you, thank you.” Dave Campbell,  Sioux Falls South Dakota

“A game-changer.” Pam Perkins,  Colorado Springs, Colorado

Curious? Want to beat overwhelm and have the time to reflect, rest and reinvent yourself?

Click here to learn more or get instant access.

What Are You Sensing?

So, what do you think contributes to the exhaustion so many leaders feel?

And how are you learning to prevent it?

Scroll down and leave a comment!

The post Why Leadership Is So Exhausting—And What to Do About It appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: Why Leadership Is So Exhausting—And What to Do About It

The post Why Leadership Is So Exhausting—And What to Do About It appeared first on Passion for Planting.