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	<title>healthy leaders Archives - Passion for Planting</title>
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	<title>healthy leaders Archives - Passion for Planting</title>
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	<item>
		<title>Pete Briscoe’s Lessons from Coming Alongside Senior Leaders to Help with Communication &#038; Self Care</title>
		<link>https://church-planting.net/pete-briscoes-lessons-from-coming-alongside-senior-leaders-to-help-with-communication-self-care/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Sean Cronin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 23 May 2021 09:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Coaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[General Church Planting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Planter Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Communications]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[healthy leaders]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pete Briscoe]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[podcast]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Preaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self care]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://unseminary.com/pete-briscoes-lessons-from-coming-alongside-senior-leaders-to-help-with-communication-self-care/</guid>

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<p>By unSeminary: Welcome to this week’s unSeminary podcast. Today we’re talking with Pete Briscoe, who served as the senior pastor for nearly three decades at Bent Tree Bible Fellowship in Carrollton, Texas, and now consults with and coaches pastors. He is with us today to talk about growing communication skills [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://church-planting.net/pete-briscoes-lessons-from-coming-alongside-senior-leaders-to-help-with-communication-self-care/">Pete Briscoe’s Lessons from Coming Alongside Senior Leaders to Help with Communication &amp; Self Care</a> appeared first on <a href="https://church-planting.net">Passion for Planting</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><img width="250" height="250" src="https://church-planting.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/unseminary_logo.png" class="attachment-full size-full wp-post-image" alt="www.unseminary.com" id="featured-image" style="margin-bottom: 15px;" decoding="async" loading="lazy" /></div><p><img decoding="async" class="wp-image-343861" src="https://i0.wp.com/unseminary.com/wp-content/uploads/Pete_Briscoe_podcast.jpg?resize=100,100&amp;ssl=1" alt="" width="100" height="100" data-recalc-dims="1" /></p>
<p>By unSeminary: Welcome to this week’s unSeminary podcast. Today we’re talking with <strong>Pete Briscoe</strong>, who served as the senior pastor for nearly three decades at <strong>Bent Tree Bible Fellowship</strong> in Carrollton, Texas, and now consults with and coaches pastors.</p>
<p>He is with us today to talk about growing communication skills to improve preaching as well as how we can find deeper fulfillment in our work and lives.</p>
<p><strong>Coaching church leaders.</strong> // While at Bent Tree Bible Fellowship, Pete recognized that he would cycle through ups and downs where he would do really well when they were in the middle of building something new, but then would become very restless and bored with normal day-to-day ministry. This internal struggle was something that Pete largely battled alone, feeling like many people couldn’t understand or weren’t safe to share with. As the highs became higher and the lows lower, Pete made a decision to step down from his position to get help. He asked himself, “Can I do this role and be a healthy person at the same time?” and ultimately decided it was time for a change. After he stepped down from the senior pastor position, Pete and his wife decided to sell their house, purchase an RV and head to the mountains. They now drive around the country, going to different cities and working to coach and consult with church and business leaders.<strong>Success vs fulfillment.</strong> // Pete takes a look at self-care and communications when coaching church leaders. One of the things Pete discovered on his own journey is that there is a difference between the engineering of success and the art of fulfillment. The success side of leading can be more of a science – we do certain things and the Lord blesses it and it tends to work, but we may still be left with a lack of personal fulfillment inside. Fulfillment is more of an art which is individual and personalized. There are spiritual, relational, and generosity factors involved.<strong>Dream about the future.</strong> // When it comes to self-care, Pete spends a day with church leaders in order to walk through what their life looks like now, and what’s broken and stuck. He asks questions about what’s working and what needs to change, go, or stay. From there Pete helps his clients spend a lot of time dreaming about the future and what they want their life to look like. Many pastors tend to think that they will spend their whole lives in church ministry and don’t think about what comes next. So Pete helps people sort through these conflicts and feelings and plan for the future. Then Pete helps them put together a life plan to get there.<strong>Uncovering who we are.</strong> // Who pastors really are can get lost in the persona we create. It is appropriate not to share everything with the whole body of believers, but that also creates a slightly different person than who we really are. In time, who we really are gets lost in that bigger public persona. In Pete’s conversations with pastors, he draws out this knowledge, asking: What’s real about you? What’s not? What’s going on behind the scenes that no one else knows about?<strong>Improve communication.</strong> // Pete also helps pastors apply communication theory and pragmatic communication to preaching. As people become better communicators, it helps them to become better preachers too. Pete is also launching a course to help pastors grow their preaching skills. A two-hour session helps leaders learn how to craft a gripping message. Part of the course includes working on a sermon and then recording its execution so that Pete can help pastors tighten up their presentation and delivery.</p>
<p>You can learn more about Pete Briscoe and the services he offers at <a href="http://www.petebriscoe.com" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">www.petebriscoe.com</a>. Plus, <a href="https://unseminary.com/wp-content/uploads/10-tips-for-preaching-to-a-Camera.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">download his te</a><a href="https://unseminary.com/wp-content/uploads/10-tips-for-preaching-to-a-Camera.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">n</a><a href="https://unseminary.com/wp-content/uploads/10-tips-for-preaching-to-a-Camera.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"> tips for preaching to a camera here.</a></p>
<h3 id="block-dc967d8b-fd4f-48ea-a085-09c47396a4c5"><strong>Thank You for Tuning In!</strong></h3>
<p id="block-2ad8ccce-a978-49da-87c2-d1fdab3f1104">There are a lot of podcasts you could be tuning into today, but you chose unSeminary, and I’m grateful for that. If you enjoyed today’s show, please <strong>share</strong> <strong>it</strong> by using the social media buttons you see at the left hand side of this page. Also, kindly consider taking the 60-seconds it takes to <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unseminary-podcast/id686033943?mt=2" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">leave an honest review and rating for the podcast on iTunes</a>, they’re <strong>extremely</strong> <strong>helpful</strong> when it comes to the ranking of the show and you can bet that I read every single one of them personally!</p>
<p id="block-6729336e-5ffc-4566-a1aa-96413baa7e9c">Lastly, don’t forget to <strong><a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unseminary-podcast/id686033943?mt=2" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">subscribe to the podcast on iTunes</a></strong>, to get automatic updates every time a new episode goes live!</p>
<p class="has-text-align-center"><strong><em>Thank You to This Article’s Sponsor: Red Letter Challenge</em></strong></p>
<p><a href="http://www.redletterchallenge.com/church" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img decoding="async" class="wp-image-270249" src="https://i2.wp.com/unseminary.com/wp-content/uploads/RLC_Web_Banner_03-2021.jpg?resize=550,90&amp;ssl=1" alt="" width="550" height="90" data-recalc-dims="1" /></a></p>
<p class="has-text-align-center">One of the best times of the year to start an all-in church series is the time after Easter. The team at Red Letter Challenge have become the 40-day church series experts…they created not only a 40-day church series, but offer unique daily challenges as well for everyone in your church to complete. It’s a fun, amazing time and many people take steps towards Jesus! <a href="http://www.redletterchallenge.com/church" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Pastors, grab your free 40-day challenge book here and see what your church can do!</a></p>
<p>Source: <a href="https://unseminary.com/pete-briscoes-lessons-from-coming-alongside-senior-leaders-to-help-with-communication-self-care/" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-wplink-edit="true">Pete Briscoe’s Lessons from Coming Alongside Senior Leaders to Help with Communication &amp; Self Care</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://church-planting.net/pete-briscoes-lessons-from-coming-alongside-senior-leaders-to-help-with-communication-self-care/">Pete Briscoe’s Lessons from Coming Alongside Senior Leaders to Help with Communication &amp; Self Care</a> appeared first on <a href="https://church-planting.net">Passion for Planting</a>.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Pastors, Here’s Why Everyone’s So Mad At You Right Now</title>
		<link>https://church-planting.net/pastors-heres-why-everyones-so-mad-at-you-right-now/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Sean Cronin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 05 Nov 2020 10:00:35 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[General Church Planting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Planter Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[church conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[criticism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[critics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[healthy churches]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[healthy leaders]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Live-giving people]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pastor Frustrations]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://careynieuwhof.com/pastors-heres-why-everyones-so-mad-at-you-right-now/</guid>

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<p>  by Carey Nieuwhof: You might be asking yourself as a church leader, why does everyone seem so angry with me right now? You’re not alone. As pastor appreciation month fades into the rearview mirror, despite getting a few chocolates and a handful of thank you cards (or nothing…that’s happened [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://church-planting.net/pastors-heres-why-everyones-so-mad-at-you-right-now/">Pastors, Here’s Why Everyone’s So Mad At You Right Now</a> appeared first on <a href="https://church-planting.net">Passion for Planting</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><img width="250" height="250" src="https://church-planting.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/carey-nieuwhof.jpg" class="attachment-full size-full wp-post-image" alt="www.careynieuwhof.com" id="featured-image" style="margin-bottom: 15px;" decoding="async" loading="lazy" /></div><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/pastors-heres-why-everyones-so-mad-at-you-right-now/shutterstock_1017020287/" rel="attachment wp-att-153271"> <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="alignnone size-large wp-image-153271" src="https://i2.wp.com/careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/shutterstock_1017020287.jpg?resize=1024,683&amp;ssl=1" alt="" width="1024" height="683" data-recalc-dims="1" /></a></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">by Carey Nieuwhof: You might be asking yourself as a church leader, why does everyone seem so angry with me right now?</p>
<p>You’re not alone.</p>
<p>As pastor appreciation month fades into the rearview mirror, despite getting a few chocolates and a handful of thank you cards (or nothing…that’s happened before too), many church leaders I talk to are feeling more unappreciated, misunderstood and more criticized than ever.</p>
<p>Criticism stings, and in a prolonged crisis like this one, just when you feel like you need more encouragement than usual, it feels like you’re getting all-time-high levels of static.</p>
<p>What’s going on?</p>
<p>Just so we don’t all go to a false pity-party, let me say <em>sometimes</em> it’s definitely you.  I’ve made some significant leadership blunders myself. Maybe you did something to anger your team, upset your church, led change unwisely or made some other decisions that really messed things up.</p>
<p>If that’s the case, the best thing to do is stop reading this post, talk to the people around you, get some help and make it right.</p>
<p>But if that’s not the case—and I’m guessing for most of you that’s not the case right now—what do you do when you’re giving your all, working hard day and night and you really love the people you serve, and you <em>still</em> get a load of rage dumped on your doorstep?</p>
<p>What do you do when you throw your heart into it and  you <em>still</em> get an ALL CAPS EMAIL,  an anonymous note and people threatening to leave the church? Sure, you’re not perfect, but come on….really?</p>
<p>What’s up with that?</p>
<p>I’ve gone through some undeserved seasons of opposition and criticism before as well.</p>
<p>Here are three factors that might help explain what’s happening, as well as three things that can help you push through through the months ahead. We all need all the help we can get right now in the midst of this crisis.</p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-tweet" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=As+pastor+appreciation+month+fades+into+the+rearview+mirror,+many+church+leaders+are+feeling+more+unappreciated,+misunderstood+and+more+criticized+than+ever.&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet">As pastor appreciation month fades into the rearview mirror, many church leaders are feeling more unappreciated, misunderstood and more criticized than ever.</a></p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-link" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=As+pastor+appreciation+month+fades+into+the+rearview+mirror,+many+church+leaders+are+feeling+more+unappreciated,+misunderstood+and+more+criticized+than+ever.&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet"><br />
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<h3><strong>3 Factors That Create Undeserved Criticism</strong></h3>
<p>Undeserved criticism is the kind of criticism that either comes out of nowhere, or that happens when people treat a 2 out of 10 level problem as though it were a 12 out of 10 issue. You know what I mean.</p>
<p>All of which leaves you feeling perplexed, hurt, agitated, isolated, defeated and angry at the same time.</p>
<p>You feel like you have nowhere to go and over time, it diminishes your motivation to serve.</p>
<p>Why does that happen? Why do you get all kinds of static when there’s really nothing wrong?</p>
<p>Here are 3 reasons that happens all the time in the church and in many organizations.</p>
<h3><strong>1. 95% of all problems in the church have nothing to do with the church</strong></h3>
<p>In the early days of ministry, I began to see a pattern.</p>
<p>The complaints people levied against the church often didn’t have anything to do with the church.</p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-tweet" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=95%+of+all+problems+in+the+church+have+nothing+to+do+with+the+church.&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet">95% of all problems in the church have nothing to do with the church. </a></p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-link" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=95%+of+all+problems+in+the+church+have+nothing+to+do+with+the+church.&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet"><br />
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<p>Yes, they were upset about the music or the direction, but if you drilled a little deeper, you soon discovered that there were other factors at work.</p>
<p>They were struggling at work, or their marriage was under a lot of stress, or they were battling an addiction or really down on themselves.</p>
<p>Add the global crisis into the mix, and people are struggling deeply with fear, medical, financial, political, emotional and relational stress unlike anything most have every coped with.</p>
<p>No wonder they’re agitated. Under that kind of stress, people get agitated and the anger has to come out somewhere. The church is an easy target.</p>
<p>In the same road rage is rarely about what happens on the highway, church rage is often not about what’s happening in the church. The guy who barely cut you off just bore the full weight of your unresolved issues in that moment.</p>
<p>Which leads us back to the key point: 95% of all problems in the church have nothing to do with the church.</p>
<p>That doesn’t make the anger go away, but it can help you empathize more and take it less personally.</p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-tweet" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=In+the+same+road+rage+is+rarely+about+what+happens+on+the+highway,+church+rage+is+often+not+about+what's+happening+in+the+church.&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet">In the same road rage is rarely about what happens on the highway, church rage is often not about what&#8217;s happening in the church.</a></p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-link" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=In+the+same+road+rage+is+rarely+about+what+happens+on+the+highway,+church+rage+is+often+not+about+what's+happening+in+the+church.&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet"><br />
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<h3><strong>2. Distance and division have made people ruder and bolder </strong></h3>
<p>The pandemic has separated us from each other in so many ways.</p>
<p>As more of our life moves online, and as personal contact becomes less frequent you and I get bolder and ruder.</p>
<p>We live in an angry age, and the current crises have only made that worse. Far worse. (I outlined <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/why-do-we-hate-each-other-so-much-anger-new-epidemic/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">5 reasons anger is the new epidemic here.)</a></p>
<p>Here’s what happens when we get separated from each other, in normal conditions but especially in the midst of crisis: distance between people desensitizes people.</p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-tweet" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=Distance+between+people+desensitizes+people.&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet">Distance between people desensitizes people.</a></p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-link" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=Distance+between+people+desensitizes+people.&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet"><br />
Click to Tweet<br />
</a></p>
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<p>Generals have known this for millennia. That’s why soldiers wear uniforms and wear war paint. It not only identifies you, but it disguises your humanity. It’s easier to shoot you when I can’t see you.</p>
<p>Before you judge soldiers, think of how you sometimes behave in your car. As already indicated, chances are, you’re naturally more aggressive there too—occasionally cutting people off, tailgating, honking your horn, and not caring nearly as much as you normally do.</p>
<p>Why do you behave differently in a car than when you’re not in a car?</p>
<p>Because you’re in a 3000-pound armored vehicle. You don’t see the guy bothering you as a <em>person</em>. You see him as a <em>problem</em>. So you get way more aggressive.</p>
<p>Even in the supermarket, you’re ruder when you have a shopping cart in your hands than when you don’t.</p>
<p>The same dynamic is at work in social media and our life online and any time we’re not eyeball to eyeball in the room with another human.</p>
<p>When you’re online and you can’t see the whites of someone’s eyes, it’s just easier to shoot.</p>
<p>Bottom line? It’s never been easier to be known and hide simultaneously than it is online. And it’s never been easier to take pot shots at leaders than it is now.</p>
<p>So when you get those angry emails, letters, voicemails and snappy comments, just know it’s often 10x more animated than it would be in-person.</p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-tweet" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=Bottom+line?+It’s+never+been+easier+to+be+known+and+hide+simultaneously+than+it+is+online.+And+it's+never+been+easier+to+take+pot+shots+at+leaders+than+it+is+now.&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet">Bottom line? It’s never been easier to be known and hide simultaneously than it is online. And it&#8217;s never been easier to take pot shots at leaders than it is now. </a></p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-link" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=Bottom+line?+It’s+never+been+easier+to+be+known+and+hide+simultaneously+than+it+is+online.+And+it's+never+been+easier+to+take+pot+shots+at+leaders+than+it+is+now.&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet"><br />
Click to Tweet<br />
</a></p>
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<h3><strong>3. You’re a little agitated too</strong></h3>
<p>Ever notice that 0n some days little things bother you, while on other days nothing seems to bother you (even criticism)?</p>
<p>What’s the difference?</p>
<p>The difference is <em>you</em>—some days little things get to you and little things become big things. Other days, everything rolls off your back.</p>
<p>When you’re stressed everything tends to bother you, including things that shouldn’t.</p>
<p>Guess what? You’re leading in the midst of an insanely complicated crisis. You’re stressed.</p>
<p>So something that wouldn’t get under your skin in normal times probably is getting under your skin today.</p>
<p>Something you would handle maturely and calmly has now got you cracking on the inside.</p>
<p>That’s natural. It’s a really tough season.</p>
<p>The best strategy when I know I’m not in a good place is to take a break. You never respond well when you’re angry or irritated. Neither do I.</p>
<p>Pray, get some sleep, talk to a friend and come back at it with a fresh mind and heart.</p>
<p>The situation won’t have changed, but you’ll be better. And when you’re better, things tend to get better.</p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-tweet" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=Leader,+when+you're+better,+things+tend+to+get+better.&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet">Leader, when you&#8217;re better, things tend to get better. </a></p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-link" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=Leader,+when+you're+better,+things+tend+to+get+better.&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet"><br />
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<h3><strong>3 Keys To Getting Healthier</strong></h3>
<p>So what do you do?</p>
<p>In terms of replying to the people who are mad at you, <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/how-to-handle-your-critics-like-a-pro-not-a-toddler/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">these 5 pro tips on how to handle criticism will help</a>. Every time I use them, the situation gets better. Every time I ignore them, I make things worse, not better. In and of itself, <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/how-to-handle-your-critics-like-a-pro-not-a-toddler/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Pro Tip #4—Reply Relationally</a>—is a very effective tension diffuser and conflict de-escalator.</p>
<p>So start there.</p>
<p>But it’s deeper than that.</p>
<p>You probably still have months—or even a year—of this crazy upside down season ahead of you in leadership. I want you to make it through the long haul.</p>
<p>So here are three longer term strategies that can help you lead healthier and stay healthier.</p>
<h3><strong>1. Grieve your losses</strong></h3>
<p>This has been a season of incredible loss. In <em>normal</em> times, people in ministry suffer loss every day.</p>
<p>Think about it.</p>
<p>Every time someone leaves your ministry or steps back from your team, it’s a loss.  Whenever you give something only to find ingratitude, it’s a loss.  Every time someone tells you’re great but you should really see the other guy who’s awesome, it’s a loss.</p>
<p>Add in death, illness and strained or lost relationships and, well, you get the picture.</p>
<p>Then add all the complexity, shock and insanity that 2020 has been into the mix and it’s just so much loss.</p>
<p>A mentor of mine once told me that in his view so many pastors quit ministry or lose their effectiveness not because any one incident made them snap or quit – but rather because the loss that provoked their exit is tied to dozens or hundreds of <em>ungrieved</em> losses along the way.</p>
<p>They might not even understand why they’re stepping back, shutting down or resigning.  All they know is they just can’t take it anymore. (My mentor, Terry Wardle, <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/episode309/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">explains that theory here</a>.)</p>
<p>When I first heard of this theory, I had so much ungrieved loss it took my about a month of tears to move through it.</p>
<p>Since then, one of the practices I’ve adopted is to grieve my losses as they happen.</p>
<p>I take time daily and weekly to review what’s bothering me and simply pray about it. Sometimes I talk to others about it.</p>
<p>I try to let myself stop and <em>feel</em> what I’ve experienced.  And when I feel it, something surprising happens – the negative feeling pretty much disappears.</p>
<p>If I do it promptly when a loss occurs, I can even respond to a four out of ten email or remark with a two out of ten reply – not a twelve.  I can actually offer grace.</p>
<p>If you want to stay healthy, grieve your losses. You’ve had a lot of loss.</p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-tweet" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=Many+pastors+quit+ministry+or+lose+their+effectiveness+not+because+any+one+incident+made+them+snap+or+quit+–+but+rather+because+the+loss+that+provoked+their+exit+is+tied+to+dozens+or+hundreds+of+ungrieved+losses+along+the+way.&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet">Many pastors quit ministry or lose their effectiveness not because any one incident made them snap or quit – but rather because the loss that provoked their exit is tied to dozens or hundreds of ungrieved losses along the way. </a></p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-link" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=Many+pastors+quit+ministry+or+lose+their+effectiveness+not+because+any+one+incident+made+them+snap+or+quit+–+but+rather+because+the+loss+that+provoked+their+exit+is+tied+to+dozens+or+hundreds+of+ungrieved+losses+along+the+way.&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet"><br />
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<h3><strong>2. Get Around Some Life-Giving People</strong></h3>
<p>So much of ministry and leadership involves giving. And because ministry is giving, it can be draining.</p>
<p>I frequently ask ministry leaders, “When was the last time you went out for dinner with a couple and laughed so hard you cried? You know, a lost-track-of-time-completely kind of dinner?”</p>
<p>The blank looks and the looks of shock and disappointment on leaders’ faces tells the story.</p>
<p>We don’t do this nearly enough.</p>
<p>Your leadership is like a bank account. You can only give so much without becoming overdrawn. Be overdrawn long enough and you go bankrupt.</p>
<p>Go find some friends who <em>energize </em>you. Then, hang out.</p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-tweet" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=So+much+of+ministry+and+leadership+is+giving.+And+because+ministry+is+giving,+it+can+be+draining.&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet">So much of ministry and leadership is giving. And because ministry is giving, it can be draining.</a></p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-link" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=So+much+of+ministry+and+leadership+is+giving.+And+because+ministry+is+giving,+it+can+be+draining.&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet"><br />
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<h3><strong>3. Embrace a sustainable pace…before it’s too late</strong></h3>
<p>This crisis has gone on way longer than anyone either wanted it to or than most (including me) thought it would.</p>
<p>Most leaders are dead tired.  And a lot of leaders are still holding out for some time off for their sanity and for the way to make it through.  Time off is wonderful.</p>
<p>But time off can’t save you if the problem is how you spend your time on.</p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-tweet" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=Time+off+can’t+save+you+if+the+problem+is+how+you+spend+your+time+on.&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet">Time off can’t save you if the problem is how you spend your time on.</a></p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-link" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=Time+off+can’t+save+you+if+the+problem+is+how+you+spend+your+time+on.&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet"><br />
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<p>And the problem with most leaders is <em>not</em> how we spend our time <em>off</em>. It’s how we spend our time <em>on</em>.</p>
<p>Moving forward, definitely take some time off but focus even more intensely on creating a sustainable rhythm for every day.</p>
<p>The mantra I’ve lived by for the last decade plus is, <em>live in a way today that will help you thrive tomorrow.  </em>Do that, and you’ll lead through this crisis so much more effectively.</p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-tweet" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=Live+in+a+way+today+that+will+help+you+thrive+tomorrow.&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet">Live in a way today that will help you thrive tomorrow. </a></p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-link" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=Live+in+a+way+today+that+will+help+you+thrive+tomorrow.&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet"><br />
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<p>Living in a way today that will help me thrive tomorrow will help me figure out everything from how much sleep I need, how many meetings to take, how many decisions I can reasonably make, and how to replenish myself daily so I can lead at home and at work.</p>
<p>This might take constant adjustment on your part, but it’s worth it.</p>
<p>More time off isn’t the solution for an unsustainable pace. A sustainable pace is the solution for an unsustainable pace.</p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-tweet" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=More+time+off+isn't+the+solution+for+an+unsustainable+pace.+A+sustainable+pace+is+the+solution+for+an+unsustainable+pace.&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet">More time off isn&#8217;t the solution for an unsustainable pace. A sustainable pace is the solution for an unsustainable pace. </a></p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-link" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=More+time+off+isn't+the+solution+for+an+unsustainable+pace.+A+sustainable+pace+is+the+solution+for+an+unsustainable+pace.&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet"><br />
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<h3>Partner Spotlight: Searching for Ways to Cut Costs So You Don’t Have to Cut Staff?</h3>
<p>Health insurance is always expensive, but during these stressful times, budgets may be even tighter than normal.</p>
<p>But now is not the time to leave your people without healthcare.</p>
<p>What if you could provide coverage for your staff while saving thousands for your church AND your people?</p>
<p>If you think this sound too good to be true, my partners at <a href="https://remodelhealth.com/carey/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Remodel Health</a> make this dream a reality every day for churches and faith-based organizations across the country.</p>
<p>To date, Remodel Health has helped Carey Nieuwhof readers and podcast listeners save over <i>$2.1 million</i> in the last year and a half! Imagine what your ministry could do with those savings.</p>
<p>We know healthcare is confusing, and right now is a very challenging time for churches, <i>but now is the time for change</i>.</p>
<p>If you’re interested in learning more, visit <a href="https://remodelhealth.com/carey/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Remodel Health</a> where you can download their free Church Buyer’s Guide and eBook.</p>
<p><a href="https://remodelhealth.com/carey/">Click here to access their free resources.</a></p>
<h3><strong>What Do You See?</strong></h3>
<p>Any other reasons you see for the level of criticism leaders are facing right now?</p>
<p>And what do you do to stay engaged, healthy and encouraged?</p>
<p>We need to make it through this prolonged crisis together.</p>
<p>Scroll down and leave a comment!</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="ss-hidden-pin-image" src="https://i2.wp.com/careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/shutterstock_1017020287.jpg?fit=5760,3840&amp;ssl=1" alt="As pastor appreciation month fades into the rearview mirror, many church leaders are feeling more unappreciated, misunderstood and more criticized than ever. Pastors, here's why everyone is so mad at you right now." data-pin-url="https://careynieuwhof.com/pastors-heres-why-everyones-so-mad-at-you-right-now/" data-pin-media="https://i2.wp.com/careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/shutterstock_1017020287.jpg?fit=5760,3840&amp;ssl=1" data-pin-description="As pastor appreciation month fades into the rearview mirror, many church leaders are feeling more unappreciated, misunderstood and more criticized than ever. Pastors, here's why everyone is so mad at you right now." /></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/pastors-heres-why-everyones-so-mad-at-you-right-now/" rel="nofollow">Pastors, Here’s Why Everyone’s So Mad At You Right Now</a> appeared first on <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com" rel="nofollow">CareyNieuwhof.com</a>.</p>
<p>Source: <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/pastors-heres-why-everyones-so-mad-at-you-right-now/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" data-wplink-edit="true">Pastors, Here’s Why Everyone’s So Mad At You Right Now</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://church-planting.net/pastors-heres-why-everyones-so-mad-at-you-right-now/">Pastors, Here’s Why Everyone’s So Mad At You Right Now</a> appeared first on <a href="https://church-planting.net">Passion for Planting</a>.</p>
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		<title>Inside a Scalable Solution to Increasing Quality Relationships in Your Church with Judy West</title>
		<link>https://church-planting.net/inside-a-scalable-solution-to-increasing-quality-relationships-in-your-church-with-judy-west/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Sean Cronin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 25 Aug 2019 09:00:20 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[General Church Planting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict resolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Discipleship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[healthy leaders]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Judy West]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Leadership Development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spiritual gifts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[strategy]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://unseminary.com/inside-a-scalable-solution-to-increasing-quality-relationships-in-your-church-with-judy-west/</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<div><img width="250" height="250" src="https://church-planting.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/unseminary_logo.png" class="attachment-full size-full wp-post-image" alt="www.unseminary.com" id="featured-image" style="margin-bottom: 15px;" decoding="async" loading="lazy" /></div>
<p>Thanks for listening to this week’s unSeminary podcast. This week we have Judy West chatting with us. She is the Pastor of Leadership Development at The Crossing in St. Louis. The Crossing has four locations in St. Louis and can also be experienced online. Judy is with us today to [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://church-planting.net/inside-a-scalable-solution-to-increasing-quality-relationships-in-your-church-with-judy-west/">Inside a Scalable Solution to Increasing Quality Relationships in Your Church with Judy West</a> appeared first on <a href="https://church-planting.net">Passion for Planting</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><img width="250" height="250" src="https://church-planting.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/unseminary_logo.png" class="attachment-full size-full wp-post-image" alt="www.unseminary.com" id="featured-image" style="margin-bottom: 15px;" decoding="async" loading="lazy" /></div><p><img decoding="async" class="wp-image-10283" src="https://i1.wp.com/unseminary.com/wp-content/uploads/Judy_West_podcast.jpg?w=1200&amp;ssl=1" alt="" data-recalc-dims="1" /></p>
<p>Thanks for listening to this week’s unSeminary podcast. This week we have <strong>Judy West</strong> chatting with us. She is the Pastor of Leadership Development at <strong>The Crossing</strong> in St. Louis.</p>
<p>The Crossing has four locations in St. Louis and can also be experienced online. Judy is with us today to talk about the class the church created to help followers of Christ become more emotionally healthy as part of their leadership development.</p>
<p><strong>Solve conflicts with Jesus. </strong>// A church is filled with broken people and we as our lives bump against one another, friction occurs. Judy and the staff at The Crossing wanted to figure out how to teach people to bump with each other well. Part of this exploration meant asking questions such as, how do you solve conflicts the way Jesus teaches? How do you set appropriate boundaries?<strong>Body Life, a 5 week class.</strong> // In response, the team developed a five week class called Body Life. The basic premise of the class is based on a prayer by Jesus in John 17 in which He asks that the people He leaves behind are one, just as He is one with God.<strong>How to focus and forgive. </strong>// In week 1, the focus is on painting that picture of oneness as seen in John 17. The second week is teaching how to be one even though everyone is different from each other. Week 2 also touches on spiritual gifts. We can be one but we are all different, and so week 3 teaches how to set boundaries. Week 4 teaches what to do when bumps with each other occur. This week includes conflict night, in which the participants role play resolving conflict with each other. And then week 5 is focused on how to forgive one another when these bumps occur. <strong>Teach how to deal with conflict.</strong> // The class teaches everyone that you don’t have to be afraid of conflict. After the teaching, the people then talk with everyone about what happened inside, were they nervous or scared, and why. They talk about family origins while growing up and how conflict was dealt with. The class then goes on teaching how to deal with conflict through the steps of Matthew 18. First discuss the problem in private and what the issue is before approaching the solution.<strong>Skills and words in confrontation.</strong> // People often have trouble discussing problems with others. The class provides participants with words and sentences to use in confrontations. Participants learn to ask permission to question issues and to push back on the other person, clarifying the things that have been said. <strong>Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired.</strong> // In approaching the confrontation, stick to the teaching of HALT. Don’t approach someone to question them if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. Take care of those issues first, then walk into the Matthew 18 way of having a conversation in a humble way.</p>
<p>You can learn more about The Crossing at their church <a href="https://thecrossing.church/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label=" (opens in a new tab)">thecrossing.church</a> and grab Lead Pastor Greg Holder’s book, <em>The Genius of One: God’s Answer for Our Fractured World</em> right <a href="https://amzn.to/31n7jWO" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="here (opens in a new tab)">here</a>. Judy also helps oversee an executive pastor group for women with the Women Executive Pastors at <a href="https://wxpastors.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label=" (opens in a new tab)">wxpastors.com</a>.</p>
<h3><strong>Thank You for Tuning In!</strong></h3>
<p>There are a lot of podcasts you could be tuning into today, but you chose unSeminary, and I’m grateful for that. If you enjoyed today’s show, please <strong>share</strong> <strong>it</strong> by using the social media buttons you see at the left hand side of this page. Also, kindly consider taking the 60-seconds it takes to <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unseminary-podcast/id686033943?mt=2" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">leave an honest review and rating for the podcast on iTunes</a>, they’re <strong>extremely</strong> <strong>helpful</strong> when it comes to the ranking of the show and you can bet that I read every single one of them personally!</p>
<p>Lastly, don’t forget to <strong><a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unseminary-podcast/id686033943?mt=2" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">subscribe to the podcast on iTunes</a></strong>, to get automatic updates every time a new episode goes live!</p>
<p>Source: <a href="https://unseminary.com/inside-a-scalable-solution-to-increasing-quality-relationships-in-your-church-with-judy-west/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" data-wplink-edit="true">Inside a Scalable Solution to Increasing Quality Relationships in Your Church with Judy West</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://church-planting.net/inside-a-scalable-solution-to-increasing-quality-relationships-in-your-church-with-judy-west/">Inside a Scalable Solution to Increasing Quality Relationships in Your Church with Judy West</a> appeared first on <a href="https://church-planting.net">Passion for Planting</a>.</p>
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		<title>Stop Being Limited By Leadership Scars</title>
		<link>https://church-planting.net/stop-being-limited-by-leadership-scars/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Sean Cronin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 19 Aug 2019 09:00:21 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Coaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[General Church Planting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[critics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[healthy leaders]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[leadership challenges]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[response to criticism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[scars]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.couragetolead.com/courage-to-lead-blog/stop-being-limited-by-leadership-scars?utm_source=feedburner&#038;utm_medium=feed&#038;utm_campaign=Feed%3A+Blog-Couragetoleadcom+%28Blog+-+COURAGETOLEAD.COM%29</guid>

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<p>by Shawn Lovejoy: I have lots of scars. I have torn both ACL’s, the major ligament in each knee; I have a scar on top of my head from the time I had to get ten stitches because a PAIR of horseshoes fell on my head (long story, but it [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://church-planting.net/stop-being-limited-by-leadership-scars/">Stop Being Limited By Leadership Scars</a> appeared first on <a href="https://church-planting.net">Passion for Planting</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><img width="718" height="665" src="https://church-planting.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Shawn-jacket-headshot.jpg" class="attachment-full size-full wp-post-image" alt="" id="featured-image" style="margin-bottom: 15px;" decoding="async" loading="lazy" /></div><p><img decoding="async" class="thumb-image" src="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5567165ce4b02d19e74bcb96/1565619421032-ANBUYXBNPTO92B6N257C/ke17ZwdGBToddI8pDm48kDncmnOY7zeFm0uqQMFZukwUqsxRUqqbr1mOJYKfIPR7LoDQ9mXPOjoJoqy81S2I8N_N4V1vUb5AoIIIbLZhVYxCRW4BPu10St3TBAUQYVKcaMSZzc9rbIxi2urcc-kjWfjjQXef8JtmQMmGzZetaRubGojh66flR5qb3nBvSKzu/IMG_0133.PNG?format=1000w" alt="IMG_0133.PNG" data-image="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5567165ce4b02d19e74bcb96/1565619421032-ANBUYXBNPTO92B6N257C/ke17ZwdGBToddI8pDm48kDncmnOY7zeFm0uqQMFZukwUqsxRUqqbr1mOJYKfIPR7LoDQ9mXPOjoJoqy81S2I8N_N4V1vUb5AoIIIbLZhVYxCRW4BPu10St3TBAUQYVKcaMSZzc9rbIxi2urcc-kjWfjjQXef8JtmQMmGzZetaRubGojh66flR5qb3nBvSKzu/IMG_0133.PNG" data-image-dimensions="1080x566" data-image-focal-point="0.5,0.5" data-load="false" data-image-id="5d5174dad032bf000113eaf7" data-type="image" /></p>
<p class="">by Shawn Lovejoy: I have lots of scars.</p>
<p class="">I have torn both ACL’s, the major ligament in each knee; I have a scar on top of my head from the time I had to get ten stitches because a PAIR of horseshoes fell on my head (long story, but it explains a lot, doesn’t it?);  and tons of other miscellaneous other scars from the perils of footballs, motorcycles, and other dangerous hobbies in my past.</p>
<p class="">Honestly, however, those aren’t the toughest scars from which I have needed to heal. <strong>The scars that have been the toughest to heal in my life have been my LEADERSHIP SCARS.  </strong></p>
<p class="">Leadership Scars Can Form From Things Like:</p>
<p class="">Mistakes We Have Made</p>
<p class="">Things We Wish We Would Have Handled Differently</p>
<p class="">Decisions We Didn’t Make Soon Enough</p>
<p class="">Tough Calls Gone Bad</p>
<p class="">People Who Left</p>
<p class="">Staff Betrayals</p>
<p class="">Staff Coux’s</p>
<p class="">Critics, Criticism, &amp; and Haters</p>
<p class="">These are just a few of my Leadership scars from which I have healed and of which I am still healing from!</p>
<p class="">What are your Leadership Scars?</p>
<p class="">The bigger question is: <strong>What are you doing to heal from those scars? </strong></p>
<p class=""><strong>Too many leaders we coach are stuck at the place of the open wound that never healed.</strong></p>
<p class="">If you don’t rehabilitate from a physical wound properly, something called SCAR TISSUE forms that makes the scar rough, bumpy, and even calloused over time. Don’t allow that to be your story when it comes to LEADERSHIP SCARS. Reach out and get some help. Talk to a counselor. Seek out a coach. Find someone who believes that your future can be better than your past. Seek out someone that will believe in you. Get better. Seek healing from your Leadership Scars. Start massaging that scar tissue until it’s gone.</p>
<p class=""><strong>Your past doesn’t affect your future unless you allow it to!</strong></p>
<p class="">Get healed up from your Leadership scars and take the field with new fury and freedom again!<a href="https://www.couragetolead.com/schedule-free-strategy-session" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"><strong>Schedule a call with us.</strong></a> Let’s talk about how we can help you do that!</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="thumb-image" src="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5567165ce4b02d19e74bcb96/1565618241851-QX6CAIZ800569YUNS3RO/ke17ZwdGBToddI8pDm48kHWO9Rmje8cfsxHHSmV70ONZw-zPPgdn4jUwVcJE1ZvWQUxwkmyExglNqGp0IvTJZamWLI2zvYWH8K3-s_4yszcp2ryTI0HqTOaaUohrI8PI6IHMoli96JeOrAmfjg9UH-4gsrBan-esKMI3_1D0Mrg/Shawn+Bio.png?format=1000w" alt="Shawn Bio.png" data-image="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5567165ce4b02d19e74bcb96/1565618241851-QX6CAIZ800569YUNS3RO/ke17ZwdGBToddI8pDm48kHWO9Rmje8cfsxHHSmV70ONZw-zPPgdn4jUwVcJE1ZvWQUxwkmyExglNqGp0IvTJZamWLI2zvYWH8K3-s_4yszcp2ryTI0HqTOaaUohrI8PI6IHMoli96JeOrAmfjg9UH-4gsrBan-esKMI3_1D0Mrg/Shawn+Bio.png" data-image-dimensions="750x284" data-image-focal-point="0.5,0.5" data-load="false" data-image-id="5d5170418c6d2c00017d4427" data-type="image" /></p>
<p><a class="sqs-block-button-element--small sqs-block-button-element" href="https://www.couragetolead.com/schedule-free-strategy-session">talk to a coach</a></p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="thumb-image" src="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5567165ce4b02d19e74bcb96/1565618378022-REIII74MDYIKPEN3PD5C/ke17ZwdGBToddI8pDm48kMLpZATyMLF_wY7mP43j1iF7gQa3H78H3Y0txjaiv_0fDoOvxcdMmMKkDsyUqMSsMWxHk725yiiHCCLfrh8O1z5QPOohDIaIeljMHgDF5CVlOqpeNLcJ80NK65_fV7S1UbAo-sgPwy8eeMwjgXs44tGpa0RJtzutNBA8jzG6LXMG7zs2yPjc1ECvpa5Zm_kMqw/BOOK.png?format=1000w" alt="BOOK.png" data-image="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5567165ce4b02d19e74bcb96/1565618378022-REIII74MDYIKPEN3PD5C/ke17ZwdGBToddI8pDm48kMLpZATyMLF_wY7mP43j1iF7gQa3H78H3Y0txjaiv_0fDoOvxcdMmMKkDsyUqMSsMWxHk725yiiHCCLfrh8O1z5QPOohDIaIeljMHgDF5CVlOqpeNLcJ80NK65_fV7S1UbAo-sgPwy8eeMwjgXs44tGpa0RJtzutNBA8jzG6LXMG7zs2yPjc1ECvpa5Zm_kMqw/BOOK.png" data-image-dimensions="1500x1174" data-image-focal-point="0.5,0.5" data-load="false" data-image-id="5d5170c97ad9ed000123d69e" data-type="image" /></p>
<p><a class="sqs-block-button-element--small sqs-block-button-element" href="https://www.amazon.com/Measuring-Success-Significance-Satisfaction-Yourself/dp/1545655863/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&amp;qid=1551707019&amp;sr=8-1-fkmrnull">order now</a></p>
<p class="">
<p>Source: <a href="https://www.couragetolead.com/courage-to-lead-blog/stop-being-limited-by-leadership-scars?utm_source=feedburner&amp;utm_medium=feed&amp;utm_campaign=Feed%3A+Blog-Couragetoleadcom+%28Blog+-+COURAGETOLEAD.COM%29" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" data-wplink-edit="true">Stop Being Limited By Leadership Scars</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://church-planting.net/stop-being-limited-by-leadership-scars/">Stop Being Limited By Leadership Scars</a> appeared first on <a href="https://church-planting.net">Passion for Planting</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
					
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>CNLP 266: Carey Nieuwhof and Jeremy MacDonald on How to Jumpstart the Growth of Dying and Stagnant Churches, and  How to Scale Church Growth Barriers from Just a Few People to Beyond 1000 Attenders</title>
		<link>https://church-planting.net/cnlp-266-carey-nieuwhof-and-jeremy-macdonald-on-how-to-jumpstart-the-growth-of-dying-and-stagnant-churches-and-how-to-scale-church-growth-barriers-from-just-a-few-people-to-beyond-1000-attenders/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Sean Cronin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 29 May 2019 09:00:56 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[General Church Planting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Carey Nieuwhof]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[change]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[church growth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[culture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[healthy leaders]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[visionary leader]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://careynieuwhof.com/episode266/</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<div><img width="250" height="250" src="https://church-planting.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/carey-nieuwhof.jpg" class="attachment-full size-full wp-post-image" alt="www.careynieuwhof.com" id="featured-image" style="margin-bottom: 15px;" decoding="async" loading="lazy" /></div>
<p>by Carey Nieuwhof: What do you do if your church is dead…stuck…stagnant, and simply not growing? And…once it starts growing, how do you get ready to scale the growth barriers most leaders never figure out how to scale? Jeremy MacDonald interviews Carey Nieuwhof about the backstory of two decades plus [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://church-planting.net/cnlp-266-carey-nieuwhof-and-jeremy-macdonald-on-how-to-jumpstart-the-growth-of-dying-and-stagnant-churches-and-how-to-scale-church-growth-barriers-from-just-a-few-people-to-beyond-1000-attenders/">CNLP 266: Carey Nieuwhof and Jeremy MacDonald on How to Jumpstart the Growth of Dying and Stagnant Churches, and  How to Scale Church Growth Barriers from Just a Few People to Beyond 1000 Attenders</a> appeared first on <a href="https://church-planting.net">Passion for Planting</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><img width="250" height="250" src="https://church-planting.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/carey-nieuwhof.jpg" class="attachment-full size-full wp-post-image" alt="www.careynieuwhof.com" id="featured-image" style="margin-bottom: 15px;" decoding="async" loading="lazy" /></div><p><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter size-large wp-image-84054" src="https://i1.wp.com/careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/Carey_Nieuwhof-3.jpg?resize=1024,683&amp;ssl=1" alt="" width="1024" height="683" data-recalc-dims="1" /></p>
<p>by Carey Nieuwhof: What do you do if your church is dead…stuck…stagnant, and simply not growing? And…once it starts growing, how do you get ready to scale the growth barriers most leaders never figure out how to scale?</p>
<p>Jeremy MacDonald interviews Carey Nieuwhof about the backstory of two decades plus in church leadership, from starting with three small dying mainline churches to the over 1500 people who attend today. Carey talks about how to jumpstart the mission of a dead church, how to recruit leaders, how to get people to stop expecting the pastor to do everything, and how to empower a team to lead the church past 1000 attenders.</p>
<p>Welcome to <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/carey-nieuwhof-leadership/id912753163?mt=2" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Episode 266 of the podcast</a>. Listen and access the show notes below or search for the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast on <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/carey-nieuwhof-leadership/id912753163?mt=2" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Apple Podcasts</a> or wherever you get your podcasts and listen for free.</p>
<p><a href="https://churchgrowthmasterclass.com/special" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-82083 size-full" src="https://i0.wp.com/careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-29-at-10.09.51-AM.png?resize=1582,786&amp;ssl=1" alt="" width="1582" height="786" data-recalc-dims="1" /></a></p>
<h2><strong>Get Your Church Growing (Again…or for the First Time)</strong></h2>
<p>Did you know that 9 out of 10 churches don’t grow? Maybe you’re leading one of them.</p>
<p>You likely didn’t get into ministry to watch your church plateau or, worse yet, decline. You wanted God to use you to reach new people with the good news. You wanted to see your church grow. You wanted to make an impact on your community that would outlast you.</p>
<p>But the odds are, it’s not happening. And the thing is, you’re not alone. We live in an era where 94% of churches aren’t growing or aren’t growing as fast as their communities. Barely 1 out of 20 churches are effectively reaching their neighbors for Jesus. Despite how desperately our communities need to hear and engage with the good news about Jesus, many churches are lost when it comes to reaching a postmodern culture.</p>
<p>Introducing the <a href="https://churchgrowthmasterclass.com/special" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Church Growth Masterclass</a>. As discussed on today’s podcast, the Masterclass is designed to help you jump start a stuck church, or help your growing church reach even more people.</p>
<p>It’s everything I wish I knew about church growth when I got into ministry more than 20 years ago.</p>
<p>I can’t make a church grow. You can’t make a church grow. Only God can do that.</p>
<p>But I believe you can <i>position </i>your church to grow. You can knock down the barriers that keep you from growing. You can eliminate the things that keep your church from growing and implement some strategies that will help you reach far more people. That’s what I’d love to help you do in the Church Growth Masterclass.</p>
<p>In the Church Growth Masterclass I’ll show you:</p>
<p>The 10 reasons your church isn’t growing<br />
Why even committed church-goers aren’t attending as often as before<br />
How to tell if your church leaders are getting burned out<br />
The five keys to your church better impacting millennials.<br />
What to do when a church wants to grow … but not change<br />
5 essentials for church growth<br />
5 disruptive church trends to watch—and how to respond<br />
How to increase church attendance by increasing engagement.</p>
<p>You can learn more and gain <a href="https://churchgrowthmasterclass.com/special">instant access to the course today</a>.</p>
<p>But hurry, launch pricing is only available until May 23rd at midnight.</p>
<p><a href="https://churchgrowthmasterclass.com/special" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Hurry while you can still get the best pricing</a>.</p>
<h2><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-82965" src="https://i0.wp.com/careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/CGMC.jpg?resize=700,250&amp;ssl=1" alt="" width="700" height="250" data-recalc-dims="1" /></h2>
<h2 style="text-align: left;"><strong>Episode Links</strong></h2>
<p>94% of churches today are either not growing or not growing at the same rate as their community. Head over to <a href="http://churchgrowthmasterclass.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">churchgrowthmasterclass.com</a> today and discover why. Whether your church isn’t growing or your seeing growth, but hitting barriers, <a href="http://churchgrowthmasterclass.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Church Growth Masterclass</a> can help. Introductory pricing ends tomorrow, so act now to get the best deal.</p>
<p>Want to reach more people online? <a href="http://promediafire.com/carey" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Pro Media Fire</a> has the media solution that’s right for your church at <a href="http://promediafire.com/carey" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">promediafire.com/carey</a>. Podcast listeners receive 10% off for life.</p>
<p><a href="https://connexuschurch.com/about-us/jeremy-macdonald/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Jeremy MacDonald</a></p>
<p><a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/youth-ministry-team-podcast/id1439151435?mt=2" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Youth Ministry Team Podcast</a></p>
<p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=3&amp;v=1OADXNGnJok" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">17 Year Olds Dial a Rotary Phone</a></p>
<p class="fl-post-title"><a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/episode90/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">CNLP 090: How to Become a Rock Star Executive Assistant – An Interview with Sarah Piercy</a></p>
<p class="fl-post-title"><a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/episode184/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">CNLP 184: Brian Houston on How to Attract the Top Leaders, Battling Back from Burnout and the Personal Habits and Rhythms that Help Him Thrive</a></p>
<p class="fl-post-title"><a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/episode206/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">CNLP 206: Les McKeown on Visionaries, Operators and Processors and How Each is Necessary in Thriving Organizations</a></p>
<p><a href="https://thinkorange.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">thinkorange.com</a></p>
<p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5noZ2sxcUE" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Nancy: Story of Life Change</a></p>
<h2><strong>3 Insights from Carey</strong></h2>
<p><strong>1. If you want to break through growth barriers, you have to be able to let go</strong></p>
<p>Most organization are currently hitting growth barriers. 94% of churches aren’t growing, 80% of Churches are 200 or smaller, and 96% of all for-profit businesses never break the million dollar sales mark. Often times, the cause of this is because the visionary leader can’t let go. If the visionary can’t delegate, you will hit growth barriers and get stuck.</p>
<p>Carey has had to learn to let go of different decisions to the leaders under him. This is a really hard thing for most visionary leaders to do. But, if you want your organization to grow past those growth barriers, you have to be willing to let go and delegate. People will not be able to do things as well as you can right away, but if you continue to invest, you will find that there are people who can do those things even better than you can.</p>
<p><strong>2. If you want a healthy organization with healthy leaders, cultivate a healthy culture</strong></p>
<p>If you don’t engage the toxic people in your organization, they will eventually leave. The same thing happens with trolls and haters online. If you ignore their toxic comments, they will eventually leave. By focusing on the helpful, positive people you are working to build a healthy community and culture within your organization. A healthy system will squeeze out toxic people. A toxic system will squeeze out healthy people.</p>
<p>One helpful way to know if someone is toxic or not is to look at their track record. Usually, if they are toxic at your church or organization, they have been toxic to 5 others also. Carey always filtered opposition through 2 questions:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">1. Is there a biblical argument for what they are saying?</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">2. Is this the kind of person we can build the future of the church on?</p>
<p>If the opposition didn’t pass through these filters, it wasn’t worth listening to.</p>
<p><strong>3. When it comes to next-gen ministries, to get great results you must make a great investment</strong></p>
<p>Next-gen ministry is one of the most critical ministries in a church. When you need hundreds of volunteers to serve well, you need someone who can lead that many volunteers well. That’s a very high level of skill and leadership. You need to fund that leader and program really well if you want to see good results.</p>
<p>Another key to building a great student ministry is creating and executing a shared strategy with the leader of those ministries. To keep a shared strategy healthy, someone in Next-Gen ministries should be a direct report to the senior leader. When you keep that relationship strong and continue to invest in them, you will continue to see positive results.</p>
<h2><strong>Quotes from Episode 266</strong></h2>
<p dir="ltr">
<p><em>A healthy system will squeeze out toxic people. A toxic system will squeeze out healthy people. @cnieuwhof</em><a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://careynieuwhof.com/episode266/&amp;text=A healthy system will squeeze out toxic people. A toxic system will squeeze out healthy people. @cnieuwhof&amp;via=cnieuwhof&amp;related=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Click To Tweet</a></p>
<p dir="ltr">
<p><em>You can&#8217;t build the future of the church on a critic. @cnieuwhof</em><a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://careynieuwhof.com/episode266/&amp;text=You can" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Click To Tweet</a></p>
<p dir="ltr">
<p><em>You build great leaders, you don&#8217;t buy them. @cnieuwhof</em><a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://careynieuwhof.com/episode266/&amp;text=You build great leaders, you don" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Click To Tweet</a></p>
<p dir="ltr">
<p><em>Small churches are like cats because they have nine lives and you can&#8217;t kill them. @cnieuwhof</em><a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://careynieuwhof.com/episode266/&amp;text=Small churches are like cats because they have nine lives and you can" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Click To Tweet</a></p>
<p dir="ltr">
<p><em>Cynicism and age are frequent companions. But they don&#8217;t have to be. @cnieuwhof</em><a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://careynieuwhof.com/episode266/&amp;text=Cynicism and age are frequent companions. But they don" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Click To Tweet</a></p>
<h2><a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/CNLP-266.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"><strong>Read or Download the Transcript for Episode 266</strong></a></h2>
<p>Looking for a key quote? More of a reader?</p>
<p>Read or download a free PDF transcript of this episode <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/CNLP-266.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">here</a>.</p>
<h2><strong>Subscribed Yet? </strong></h2>
<p><a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/carey-nieuwhof-leadership/id912753163?mt=2">Subscribe for free</a> and never miss out on wisdom from world-class leaders like Brian Houston, Andy Stanley, Craig Groeschel, Nancy Duarte, Henry Cloud, Patrick Lencioni, Francis Chan, Ann Voskamp, Erwin McManus and many others.</p>
<p>Subscribe using your favorite podcast app via</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/carey-nieuwhof-leadership/id912753163?mt=2" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Apple Podcasts</a></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/3nG6FJpSMMWD5cjTsdRQ9Q?si=ttFqk4qtSRi1xxJWiPtq6g" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Spotify</a></p>
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<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><a href="http://tunein.com/radio/The-Carey-Nieuwhof-Leadership-Podcast-p649370/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">TuneIn</a></p>
<h2><strong>Spread the Word. Leave a Rating and Review</strong></h2>
<p>Hopefully, this episode has helped you lead like never before. That’s my goal. If you appreciated it, could you share the love?</p>
<p>The best way to do that is to <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/carey-nieuwhof-leadership/id912753163?mt=2">rate the podcast on Apple Podcasts and leave us a brief review</a>! You can do the same on <a href="http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/the-carey-nieuwhof-leadership-podcast">Stitcher</a> and on <a href="http://tunein.com/radio/The-Carey-Nieuwhof-Leadership-Podcast-p649370/">TuneIn</a> as well.</p>
<p>Your ratings and reviews help us place the podcast in front of new leaders and listeners. Your feedback also lets me know how I can better serve you.</p>
<p>Thank you for being so awesome.</p>
<h2><strong>Next Episode: Margaret Feinberg </strong></h2>
<p>When she was in eigth grade, Margaret Feinberg’s teachers asked the class to write a story. While most students turned in four pages, Margaret turned in a 127 page book. Today, Margaret has sold over a million books and in this episode, we unpack how not being one of the cool kids shaped Margaret for the future, dissect the daily disciplines she uses to create content, why she spends 95% of her time as a writer marketing, and why never mixing business and pleasure has been so energizing for her.</p>
<p><a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/carey-nieuwhof-leadership/id912753163?mt=2">Subscribe for free</a> now and you won’t miss Episode 267.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/episode266/" rel="nofollow">CNLP 266: Carey Nieuwhof and Jeremy MacDonald on How to Jumpstart the Growth of Dying and Stagnant Churches, and How to Scale Church Growth Barriers from Just a Few People to Beyond 1000 Attenders</a> appeared first on <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com" rel="nofollow">CareyNieuwhof.com</a>.</p>
<p>Source: <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/episode266/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" data-wplink-edit="true">CNLP 266: Carey Nieuwhof and Jeremy MacDonald on How to Jumpstart the Growth of Dying and Stagnant Churches, and How to Scale Church Growth Barriers from Just a Few People to Beyond 1000 Attenders</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://church-planting.net/cnlp-266-carey-nieuwhof-and-jeremy-macdonald-on-how-to-jumpstart-the-growth-of-dying-and-stagnant-churches-and-how-to-scale-church-growth-barriers-from-just-a-few-people-to-beyond-1000-attenders/">CNLP 266: Carey Nieuwhof and Jeremy MacDonald on How to Jumpstart the Growth of Dying and Stagnant Churches, and  How to Scale Church Growth Barriers from Just a Few People to Beyond 1000 Attenders</a> appeared first on <a href="https://church-planting.net">Passion for Planting</a>.</p>
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