By Carey Nieuwhof: Francis Chan has become convicted that division in the church is escalating and causing deep harm. He also thinks it’s tied to the desire for celebrity and influence so many leaders have.

Francis also talks about racial division and his experience as an Asian-American who has been the target of discrimination.

Welcome to Episode 413 of the podcast. Listen and access the show notes below or search for the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and listen for free.

Plus, in this episode’s What I’m Thinking About segment, Carey shares a few thoughts on unity, division and the Church.

Guest Links

Instagram | Twitter | Website

Episode Links

Pro Media Fire

Are you getting ready to hire a creative or digital staff member at your church?

You have two options:

Hire an internal staff member that is an expert one or two main areas.
Hire Pro Media Fire and get an entire team of experts for less than the cost of a professional staff hire.

With Pro Media Fire, you save on employee taxes and health insurance with internal staff. And, turnover becomes a thing of the past with a team that handles all your creative and digital needs.

The choice is yours—hire one person, or get an entire team of professionals providing digital strategy and a creative framework to help your church grow online. Teams win championships!

Book your free digital strategy session today at promediafire.com/churchgrowth.

Generis

Most churches have experienced stability in giving over the last year—that is some of the best news the team at Generis has heard during the pandemic.

But, a new concern is growing—will the other shoe drop in 2021? Will the economy shift? Will giving begin to trend down?

The truth is, whether it is next month, next year, or in five years, a shoe will drop, the economy will shift, and there will always be a new mission, need, or challenge that will require resources. It’s just a part of the natural ebb and flow of church finance. So, wouldn’t it be great if you could be prepared by understanding how healthy your church is no matter what financial reality you might face?

The team at Generis is offering a FREE opportunity for church leaders of this podcast to do exactly that with their Generosity Pulse Report.

Think of the Generosity Pulse Report as a quick snapshot of the health of your culture of stewardship and giving. Wouldn’t it be super helpful to know where you stand today, identify what needs improvement, and what you can do to move the needle on greater generosity?

No matter what lies ahead with the economy, giving or that other shoe…now is a great time for financial clarity, and Generis can help you achieve it.

Schedule your FREE Generosity Pulse Report today, an exclusive offer for listeners of this podcast, by going to generis.com/carey.

Conversation Links

Until Unity by Francis Chan

Erasing Hell by Francis Chan

You and Me Forever by Francis Chan and Lisa Chan

Crazy Love by Francis Chan

Letters to the Church by Francis Chan

Forgotten God by Francis Chan

CNLP 313: Francis Chan Clarifies What’s Next for Him, Talks About the Impact of Social Media on Real People, Apologizes for the Confusion, and Talks About the Future of the U.S. Church

CNLP 218: Francis Chan on Battling Pride and Fame, Why He Left His Megachurch, and his Airbnb Church Experiment

ChurchPulse Weekly, Episode 038: Francis Chan, Part 1

Carey on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter

After the U.S. Election: 3 Things the Culture Needs Right Now That the Church Can Give by Carey Nieuwhof

*As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Insights From Francis

1. When it comes to racial justice, be quick to listen

During the interview, Francis talked about how he has been somewhat unaware of the depths of the struggles of the Native American people in America until a few days before the time of recording.  He’d went and stayed the night on a reservation. Going there, seeing how they live, and asking questions about them opened his eyes to their struggle.

He thinks that this year has started a listening and learning process for many similar to what he experienced, and would encourage all of us to lean in and listen to those with a different experience than us.

2. As Christian leaders, decreasing our own name is a great way forward

When Francis was serving the underground church in China, a Chinese pastor told him:

“You Americans keep thinking that you have to become popular to have an impact. But in China and the underground church, it was those who were most hidden that had the most impact, the greatest impact, because we couldn’t be found.”

This made Francis ask himself, “Could it be possible that me being quieter, and in the presence of God and doing more things that are unseen, will actually have a greater impact in lifting up the name of Jesus?”

As a Christian leader, ask yourself whose name you are working to increase. Yours, or Christ’s?

3. The Western Church is being deeply damaged by division and outrage

So much of the Western church has been hijacked by ideology, political division and outrage. This has caused pastors to blacklist each other, entire denominations to split repeatedly and nearly an entire generation to walk away from the church.

This isn’t helping the gospel reach more people. If we’re going to move forward, we need to move forward together—even if we disagree.

Quotes from Episode 413

No one ever hears the apology as loudly as they hear that initial biting, angry thought. @crazyloveClick To Tweet

If you feel nothing for people outside of your little circle, I’ve got to question whether the Spirit is in you. @crazyloveClick To Tweet

I think most leaders in America are thinking, ‘I must increase so that He can increase.’ We think it’s up to us. @crazyloveClick To Tweet

I had a very casual attitude towards Christian unity, and I think it’s because it just felt like it was impossible. @crazyloveClick To Tweet

I thought I was pretty sensitive to the Black Lives Matter movement. But you really can’t understand it ’til it’s you. @crazyloveClick To Tweet

It was the first time it really hit me and hurt me and it’s like, ‘So just because of my nationality?’ It was devastating. @crazyloveClick To Tweet

Anyone who pursues unity will be accused of, ‘Oh, you just want unity at the expense of truth.’ Well, would it be possible that you want both? @crazyloveClick To Tweet

Could it be possible that me being quieter, and being in the presence of God and doing more things that are unseen, will actually have a greater impact in lifting up the name of Jesus? @crazyloveClick To Tweet

It’s easier to be divisive than it is to be unifying.Click To Tweet

A blaming culture needs a confessing church.Click To Tweet

You’ll never address what you don’t confess.Click To Tweet

A divided nation needs a united church.Click To Tweet

If God has all the same opinions you do, you’re probably not worshiping God.Click To Tweet

In a divided culture, Christians should be the help and the hope, not the hate.Click To Tweet

Read or Download the Transcript for Episode 413

Looking for a key quote? More of a reader?

Read or download a free PDF transcript of this episode here.

WHAT WILL IMPACTFUL PREACHING LOOK LIKE IN THE FUTURE? 

Every time I preach, there are 10 things I check to make sure that my sermon is ready to go.

I outline those 10 things inside the Preaching Cheat Sheet.

If you want a step-by-step process to craft clear sermons that are relevant to your audience, this is for you.

The Preaching Cheat Sheet is just one small part of Mark Clark and I’s course The Art Of Better Preaching. If you want world class-training that will make your preaching better, you can find more information here.

Watch Back Episodes of The Podcast on YouTube

Select episodes of this podcast are now on YouTube. Our YouTube Channel gives you a chance to watch some episodes, not just listen.

SUBSCRIBED YET?

Subscribe for free and never miss out on wisdom from world-class leaders like Brian Houston, Andy Stanley, Craig Groeschel, Nancy Duarte, Henry Cloud, Patrick Lencioni, Francis Chan, Ann Voskamp, Erwin McManus and many others.

Subscribe using your favorite podcast app via

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Google Podcasts

Stitcher

TuneIn

Spread the Word. Leave a Rating and Review

Hopefully, this episode has helped you lead like never before. That’s my goal. If you appreciated it, could you share the love?

The best way to do that is to rate the podcast on Apple Podcasts and leave us a brief review! You can do the same on Stitcher and on TuneIn as well.

Your ratings and reviews help us place the podcast in front of new leaders and listeners. Your feedback also lets me know how I can better serve you.

Thank you for being so awesome.

Next Episode: Tim Keller

Tim Keller shares some personal reflections about his recent battle with pancreatic cancer and how it’s causing him to rethink his beliefs about God and suffering, drawing him even more deeply into truths he used to only partially understand. Tim also reflects on what a year of crisis has done to the church, and shares some thoughts on the future of the church, how culture has changed in the last year, and what needs to happen next.

Subscribe for free now so you won’t miss Episode 414.

The post CNLP 413: Francis Chan on Escalating Division, Asian Hate, and Why Influence in the Church Can’t Come from Self-Promotion appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: CNLP 413: Francis Chan on Escalating Division, Asian Hate, and Why Influence in the Church Can’t Come from Self-Promotion

The post CNLP 413: Francis Chan on Escalating Division, Asian Hate, and Why Influence in the Church Can’t Come from Self-Promotion appeared first on Passion for Planting.

By Carey Nieuwhof: After a year of leading through constant crisis, how are leaders supposed to cope?

Ian Morgan Cron and Carey catch up on how each Enneagram type reacts under stress and the difference between fake or strategic authenticity and true vulnerability.

Welcome to Episode 411 of the podcast. Listen and access the show notes below or search for the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and listen for free.

Plus, in this episode’s What I’m Thinking About segment, Carey talks about why he finds personality assessments so helpful as a leader.

Guest Links

Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | Website

Episode Links

Pro Media Fire

Imagine waking up WOWED by the beautiful content you see on your social media platforms all week long.

Instagram and Facebook Stories filled with excitement. Custom graphics and animation to stop the scroll. And the best part is it is all done for you by the Pro Media Fire team.

You have two choices in 2021 when it comes to social media:

You or a team member can work day and night to keep up with social media strategy that constantly changes.
OR, you can hire Pro Media Fire, and get an entire team of experts that keep up with the trends to help you grow online.

The choice is yours—bury yourself in social media work, or hire an entire team to help you thrive online.

Book your social media management consultation today at promediafire.com/growth.

XPS 2021 By CDF Capital

If you’re a 2nd chair leader (Executive Pastor, Administrative Pastor, Operations Pastors) at a local church, you’re in an incredible spot of influence.

I’m privileged to have been a part of the Executive Pastor Summit (XPS), and I’d love to point you to this gathering of Exec Pastors that is led by CDF Capital, Exponential, and Leadership Network.

XPS is an annual innovative gathering of XP leaders looking to move their ministry forward.

Key voices shaping XPS this year include:

Ed Stetzer
Dan Reiland
Beth Ganem

The event is May 25-26 in Denver, Colorado. Sign up today, and connect with the sharpest men and women XP leaders in the country.

Learn more about XPS 2021 at welcome.cdfcapital.org/xps2021/.

Conversation Links

Typology Podcast

Typology Podcast: How Hidden Beliefs Impact Toni and Carey Nieuwhof’s Marriage

Typology Podcast: Seven Core Challenges of Leadership, feat. Carey Nieuwhof (Enneagram 8)

Typology Podcast: Carey Nieuwhof on the Enneagram and Self-Leadership, part 2 (Enneagram 8)

The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile

CNLP 241: Ian Morgan Cron on Using Your Enneagram Number to Boost Self-Awareness, Spiritual Growth and Reduce Conflict at Work and at Home

CNLP 342: Ian Morgan Cron on How Your Enneagram Type Handles Stress, How to Stay Healthy in a Crisis, and the Best Approach to Dealing with Uncertainty

CNLP 278: Ian Morgan Cron on How Your Enneagram Profile Positions You for Burnout, Pride, Cynicism and Other Hidden Traps in Life and Leadership

RightPath Resources

Leading From Your Strengths Assessment

StrengthsFinder

The 6 Types of Working Genius

Intimacy with God by Thomas Keating

Carey’s Daily Email

*As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Insights From Ian

1. Take care of your basic needs if you want to fight anxiety

As a corporate consultant and therapist, Ian often gets calls from leaders who are dealing with some pretty intense anxiety in the moment, and they want him to help them stop being so anxious.

His first question to them is often, “What did you eat for breakfast?” Usually, the answer is, “Nothing.” Then, he asks, “How much water have you drank today?” Followed by, “When was the last time you exercised?” And, “How much sleep have you gotten the last three nights?” Usually, they’re struggling with three or four of those things, so he tells them to fix those issues and call him back. Seven times out of 10, this fixes their issue.

2. When you’re stressed, avoid the trap of managing rather than leading

When many leaders get stressed, they fall into the trap of managing rather than leading. You probably have great managers working under you as a leader. Ian recommends you let them do their job, and that you focus on leading them with vision and direction rather than micromanaging.

3. Loneliness is killing leaders

During the interview, Ian makes a point to recommend every single leader ask themselves, “Am I lonely?” With today’s technology, people are becoming more isolated, and loneliness has become an epidemic. Odds are, you or someone you know are being seriously impacted by loneliness.

To fight loneliness, Ian recommends having more spontaneous visits with old friends, more FaceTime calls with relatives and putting yourself into more social situations than you might be comfortable with. It might be uncomfortable in the short-term, but will pay off in the long.

Quotes from Episode 411

Don’t you know that when you try to be authentic, you’re automatically being inauthentic? @ianmorgancronClick To Tweet

Vulnerability is arguably the most important ingredient in forging great relationships. @ianmorgancronClick To Tweet

Embrace your powerlessness, and when you do that, you find power. @ianmorgancronClick To Tweet

Leaders can confuse vulnerability with weakness. @ianmorgancronClick To Tweet

When people panic, they stop leading. @ianmorgancronClick To Tweet

You want to have relationships? Start practicing vulnerability. @ianmorgancronClick To Tweet

Technology is set up to create addicts. @ianmorgancronClick To Tweet

We’re facing loneliness. And loneliness has reached epidemic proportions. @ianmorgancronClick To Tweet

A lot of leaders live with the myth of invincibility. @ianmorgancronClick To Tweet

You’ve got to lead people the way they want to be led.Click To Tweet

Self-awareness is spiritual awareness.Click To Tweet

Read or Download the Transcript for Episode 411

Looking for a key quote? More of a reader?

Read or download a free PDF transcript of this episode here.

GET YOUR LIFE BACK

Do you want to unlock more of your potential in life and leadership without sacrificing time with your family and your health?

Sounds crazy, but it’s not. I know because I’ve lived it. A few years back, I seriously crashed and burned because the demands on my time and life were bigger than the time I had to accomplish them. I promised myself that wouldn’t happen again.

Today, I still have bigger goals than ever before, but I’ve made fundamental changes that have led to a healthier, happier lifestyle without sacrificing my family and vastly increasing my productivity at work. I’ve taken what I’ve learned during this journey and put it into The High Impact Leader course.

You can complete the three-hour course at your own pace. It’s the most comprehensive content I’ve ever created for leaders to help you reclaim HOURS every day so you can become more effective at work and more present at home. When your time, energy, and priorities are all working together for you, it’ll impact everything you do.

You become a better leader, because you’re doing what you do best when you’re at your best
You become a better spouse, because you’re focused at home
You become a better parent, neighbor, and friend, because you actually have time off to relax and engage

These principles will free you to thrive in every area of your life.

You can learn more and gain instant access today.

Watch Back Episodes of The Podcast on YouTube

Select episodes of this podcast are now on YouTube. Our YouTube Channel gives you a chance to watch some episodes, not just listen.

SUBSCRIBED YET?

Subscribe for free and never miss out on wisdom from world-class leaders like Brian Houston, Andy Stanley, Craig Groeschel, Nancy Duarte, Henry Cloud, Patrick Lencioni, Francis Chan, Ann Voskamp, Erwin McManus and many others.

Subscribe using your favorite podcast app via

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Google Play

Stitcher

TuneIn

Spread the Word. Leave a Rating and Review

Hopefully, this episode has helped you lead like never before. That’s my goal. If you appreciated it, could you share the love?

The best way to do that is to rate the podcast on Apple Podcasts and leave us a brief review! You can do the same on Stitcher and on TuneIn as well.

Your ratings and reviews help us place the podcast in front of new leaders and listeners. Your feedback also lets me know how I can better serve you.

Thank you for being so awesome.

Next Episode: Annie F. Downs

Annie F. Downs returns to the podcast to talk about how she got her audience fully engaged in her book launch, which led to hitting the New York Times Bestsellers List. She unpacks how she gets her audience engaged in all her platforms, what she’s learned about podcasting and why hobbies and fun are lifelines for leaders.

Subscribe for free now so you won’t miss Episode 412.

The post CNLP 411: Ian Morgan Cron Explains How Your Enneagram Type Responds to Chronic Stress and the Difference Between Fake Authenticity and True Vulnerability appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: CNLP 411: Ian Morgan Cron Explains How Your Enneagram Type Responds to Chronic Stress and the Difference Between Fake Authenticity and True Vulnerability

The post CNLP 411: Ian Morgan Cron Explains How Your Enneagram Type Responds to Chronic Stress and the Difference Between Fake Authenticity and True Vulnerability appeared first on Passion for Planting.

By Shawn Lovejoy: On every team I have ever led, we have sought to maintain the “The Last Ten Percent Rule.”

The Last Ten Percent Rule states that most people say ninety percent of what they are thinking, but they hold back that last ten percent out of fear of rocking the boat, causing conflict, getting fired, or whatever.

Growth doesn’t come from some elusive “silver bullet.”

Healthy growth emerges from the teams who best practice honesty.

That said, honesty is not something that just happens on any team.

Honesty has to be cultivated in your culture.

I wrote this article highlighting our framework for facilitating honesty on your team and giving you one of your best opportunities for growth.

7 Ways To Create A Last 10% Culture on Your Team:

Mine for Total Honesty.

Truly listening to to those closest to us gives us our best opportunity to grow. As a leader we should always push our team for that last ten percent. That’s where the gold is!

That last ten percent gets us into what people are really thinking, how they really feel, and gives us our best opportunity to gain rapport with those closest to us.

However, people are people. Defensiveness and insecurity run rampant among leadership teams. Don’t get me wrong, most teams have a deep desire to grow and get better, but for some reason, they have a hard time listening to the feedback, critiques, and heartfelt honesty.

Your job is to facilitate honesty among your team, keep it at the forefront and normalize what it means to share the last 10%.

While honesty is not natural for many on your team, your job as the leader is to make honesty normal for everyone on your team.

Promise Safety.

Most people on your team likely care about the people they work with and want things to get better. They also like their job!

If you, as the leader, are over emotional or reactionary when people are honest with you, you may not get honesty out of them.

Communicate a culture of honesty and then model they way by receiving it with maturity. When the leader is mature, the team feels secure. You want a culture of honesty, not a culture of walking on eggshells.

Be Quick to Listen and Slow to Speak.

When someone offers any type of honest feedback, our temptation the entire time they are speaking is how to explain ourselves or defend our behavior. Don’t give in to that temptation!

Listen carefully. Process what they are saying. Be teachable. Be coachable.

Model teachability for your team. When the leader is teachable, the team will be more teachable.

Don’t Argue Intent.

I had a marriage counselor tell me a long time ago, “It doesn’t matter what I meant. It matters what was received.”

Don’t try to explain what you meant or what your intention was. Just apologize for any wrong signals you might have sent.

Arguing or being defensive about intentions is crippling to a culture of honesty.

Take Responsibility.

It really doesn’t really matter if you’ve been at fault or not.

Consider this: If we are only 5% responsible for a conflict, we are 100% responsible for our 5%!

Just say “I’m sorry” and take responsibility.

Distinguish Between a Critique and a Criticism.

Criticism comes from the critics and naysayers.

Critique however, comes from someone who loves us and just wants to help us improve and improve the quality of our relationships. Why would you not listen to that person?

You don’t have to listen to everyone, but you had better listen to those closest to you. If you don’t it will negatively affect your influence, your relationships among the team and the level of honesty in your culture.

Thank People for Their Candor.

Simply respond with, “Thanks for bringing that to my attention. I don’t know my blind spots unless someone helps me see them. This will help me get better.”

Your response gives permission and language for your team to receive honesty in a similar fashion.

Need another example? Try this response: “I really appreciate you sharing this with me. As a matter of fact, if you ever have something come up like this again, don’t be afraid to come and talk to me about it. I appreciate it more than you know!”

Wish honesty was part of your culture?

Long for a team that talks TO one another rather than ABOUT one another?

Eager for a system to help you facilitate a “Last 10% Culture?”

We can help…and, frankly, it’s all too much to do alone. That’s why at CourageToLead we believe, “Every Leader Needs a Coach”…because no leader can do it all alone!

Let’s set up a call with one of our coaches to talk through leading your team and organization to discover a “Last 10% Culture.”

It’s simple, click the button below, schedule a time that works for you, fill out a brief application and show up to your call…we’ll handle the rest!

SCHedule a call

Let’s Talk About Coaching

Source: How To Create a Culture of Honesty on Your Team

The post How To Create a Culture of Honesty on Your Team appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Carey Nieuwhof: So you’re trying to make the best decisions you can in a deeply confusing, stressful time, and you’re tired.

I get it.

I know when I get tired, it’s hard to think straight, let alone sense where the decisions I’m making are taking us long term.

How do you know how you’re doing…whether the kind of decisions you’re making are pointing your church in the right direction?

So today, to help, I’m sharing five kinds of leaders I’m seeing right now. You can make up your own categories if you want, but getting a sense of the overall approach you’ve embraced to decision making can help you get a handle on whether this is where you want to be ore not.

The categories below reflect the overall approach leaders are taking to the insane amount of uncertainty, change and disruption that is leadership right now.

Each of the five approaches has a probable destination—a prospect for the future that, while not inevitable, is likely.

Note: you may toggle through different leadership styles on different days (or even hour to hour), and in some cases you may embrace one approach in one area you’re leading, and reflect a different style in another area.

With all that in mind, here are 5 kinds of church leaders right now and the future prospects associated with each.

1. Deniers

Denial has always been a part of human nature.

Despite what you’re eating and what you see on the scale, it’s easy to deny you have health problems until you visit the doctor or end up in the ER.

It’s easy to deny that your relationship is in trouble until one morning she tells you she’s done and walks out.

But we live in this strange moment where denial is happening everywhere. Many leaders right now still deny that the virus is real, that’s the situation is real, that there’s any threat or that this is a disruption (rather than an interruption).

And regardless of what you think, when you deny the depth of change taking place, you set your organization up for failure.

Denial is a terrible leadership strategy. Denying the truth doesn’t change the truth.

Denial is a terrible leadership strategy. Denying the truth doesn’t change the truth.

Click to Tweet

END .ss-ctt-wrapper

Just think about all the people who denied they had financial problems until they filed for bankruptcy. Or the angry leader who swore his team was with him until, one by one, they all left. Or the leader in an affair who thought he’d never get caught until…

Even when you don’t like it, the truth (this is wrong/things really aren’t great/you can’t keep doing this) is your friend. Trust me, I don’t always like the truth either.

Leaders who change when they see the truth always fare better than leaders who try to change the truth by denying it.

If you want to lead a healthy team that embraces the truth, I’d love to help.

Leaders who change when they see the truth always fare better than leaders who try to change the truth by denying it.

Click to Tweet

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2. Reverters

The reverters are the leaders who are actively trying to recreate or restore the past. They want to revert to the way things were, to get back to the familiar, to what they know, even to what they were trained to do and programmed to do.

I have some sympathy for reverters. Nobody signed up for this.

But reverting to the past only works if the past is coming back. The longer this disruption continues, the less likely it is that things will go back to the way they were.

It’s hard to go back to normal when normal disappeared.

It’s hard to go back to normal when normal disappeared.

Click to Tweet

END .ss-ctt-wrapper

I’ve written quite extensively on why I believe the longing to go back to normal, while natural, is a big leadership mistake.

Why Going Back to Normal Church Seems So Compelling, and Can Be So Dangerous

Avoid This Big Mistake: Stepping Back Into the Past When You Step Back Into Your Building

The Original 2020 is History: 7 NEW Disruptive Church Trends Every Leader Should Watch

Reverting back is a wonderful strategy if the challenges you’re facing are an interruption. Someone turned off the light, you turned it back on, and you just pick up where you left off.

A disruption is different. Things are changing far more deeply and profoundly, and as a result, you need a new approach.

Old strategies applied to a new day produce diminishing returns. And as we’ve seen already in the low return to church numbers, that rarely turns out well.

Old strategies applied to a new day produce diminishing returns.

Click to Tweet

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3. Resigners

I’m guessing there are a lot of leaders in this category.

As much as you want to believe this is not a disruption, you admit to yourself that it is. You know that things aren’t going back to normal, even though you wish they were. And you’re not denying or even resisting the truth that you’re living in a deeply chaotic, disruptive time.

It’s just you haven’t got the energy for what’s ahead.  You’re resigned to a different future, you just haven’t got the strength to embrace it.

Can I just say I get it?

I have led from a place of zero energy. The thought of more change or ONE MORE THING GOING WRONG just about killed me more than once.

I also realize, as you do, that this isn’t a place you want to stay in long. You can’t stay in this place long and still lead.

Perhaps the remedy for leaders who feel resigned to the change ahead is to get yourself healthy, to build up reserves that can help you embrace the challenges and opportunities ahead. And trust me, there are opportunities.

Here are a few posts and resources that can help.

11 Signs You’re More Than Just Tired, You’re Burning Out

How I Recovered From Burnout: 12 Keys to Getting Back

The High Impact Leader: How to Get Time, Energy And Priorities Working In Your Favor

Being resigned to change doesn’t prepare you for the future nearly as well as embracing change does.

Being resigned to change doesn’t prepare you for the future nearly as well as embracing change does.

Click to Tweet

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4. Adapters

Adapters understand that they are leading through large scale change. They’re not denying it, resigned to it and not really reverting back.

But—and this is a critical distinction—they’re not innovating either. They’re adapting.

One of the key differences between innovation and adaptation is that innovation is voluntary. Adaptation is not.

One of the key differences between innovation and adaptation is that innovation is voluntary. Adaptation is not.

Click to Tweet

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Most of the change that churches and businesses have adopted in the disruption to date isn’t really innovation. It’s adaptation.

Adaption is forced on you. Remote work for the most part has been adaptation. So has church online. You didn’t really have a choice.

Crisis isn’t the only disruptor at work in culture. Many industries have been disrupted in the last 20 years without a virus: think about transportation (thanks to ride-share services), photography (thanks to smart phones and Instagram) or hospitality (thanks to Airbnb).

In an era of rapid change, adaptation might help you survive, but it rarely helps you thrive.

You can make it into the future, but usually, as a shadow of what you used to be or what you could be.

Most of the change that churches and businesses have adopted in the disruption to date isn’t really innovation. It’s adaptation.

Click to Tweet

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5. Innovators

They say necessity is the mother of invention, so, churches, this is a great time to invent.

The long term trends around church attendance weren’t promising even before a virus hit.

The good news is the mission of the church is eternal. The methods change from generation to generation. Leaders who reinvent the methods ultimately become those who preserve the mission. Just study the Apostle Paul, or the Reformers.

They say necessity is the mother of invention, so, churches, this is a great time to invent.

Click to Tweet

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This could be a season where the lack of traction you’re getting using old methods can spawn you to try new things.

So what does it take to innovate? A lot of it, believe it or not, is attitude and willingness to take risks.

If you study innovators, you’ll learn that they’re usually curious, passionate, resilient and willing to fail.

They have a voracious appetite for learning—often outside their disciplines.

Innovators leverage the strength of their team to generate new ideas and iterations, and they’re not overly sensitive to criticism, knowing that divergent views simply make their future approaches better.

So the question becomes, where are you innovating? Adapting is one thing. Innovating is quite another.

Today belongs to the adapters. Tomorrow belongs to the innovators.

Today belongs to the adapters. Tomorrow belongs to the innovators.

Click to Tweet

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Get Your WHOLE Team Embracing the Future

Sometimes leadership feels overwhelming, and that’s often because you struggle to get your whole team working together to solve the problems you’re facing.

It’s never been more important for your organization to hit your goals. It’s also never been more difficult.

Lead a Better Team is my brand new, online, on-demand course that gives you a comprehensive, step-by-step strategy to:

Get far better results with the same team (you don’t need to fire everyone and start over)
Deepen employee engagement
Actually achieve the goals you set
Eliminate toxic culture and deal with toxic team members; and
Stop micromanaging because you’ve built a self-motivated team.

All the while freeing up time for you to do focus on what you do best.

The best part? Lead A Better Team gives you the tools you need to help your team thrive whether they work remotely, in person or you lead a hybrid team.

Get instant access to Lead a Better Team NOW and start taking your team into a better future.

Any Other Styles You See?

I hope this helps frame this moment and get you on track with where you want to be.

I’m curious, any other styles you see? Anything you’d add to help leaders make it through this challenging era?

Scroll down and leave a comment!

The post The 5 Kinds of Church Leaders We’re Seeing Right Now (And their Future Prospects) appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: The 5 Kinds of Church Leaders We’re Seeing Right Now (And their Future Prospects)

The post The 5 Kinds of Church Leaders We’re Seeing Right Now (And their Future Prospects) appeared first on Passion for Planting.

By: Courage to Lead

I have a confession. 

I am a recovering perfectionist. By nature things are rarely ever “good enough.” I did say I am recovering. I have grown tremendously in this area. 

These days I am able to embrace and enjoy the journey more because I have learned to celebrate more. 

For most people I know, celebrating wins and enjoying the journey does not come easily. For most of us celebration is a discipline. 

Does that describe you? If so, do what I did. Discipline yourself to celebrate. Here’s a system that has helped me grow tremendously in this department: 

1. Celebrate Daily.

Every day, first thing in the morning, I reflect on the day before  and I write down three things for which I am grateful. To be honest, There are a lot of days I sit there for a while before the celebration begins to flow. Then, all of a sudden, it’s difficult to stop with just three things! Create a system whereby you celebrate the small wins daily. Why daily? For me it’s like exercising. Exercising once a week just makes us sore all over. It never makes us better. Exercising a little each day stretches and trains our muscles to be fit. The same thing happens with daily celebration. It stretches a muscle we all recognize as a need for growth!

2. Celebrate Weekly

Take a chill pill. Rest. Sabbath. Reflect on the week. Stop and smell the roses. Look over the last week and evaluate whether you were just busy or effective? Make adjustments. Remember, traction equals satisfaction. Go back over your Thankful Lists for the last week. If you have been faithful to work the system, and write down three things each day, you now have 21 things you have been thankful for over the last week! It’s been a tough week. There have been some wins and some losses. Our tendency is to focus on the losses. Don’t you do it. Celebrate the wins. Celebration and Depression can not coexist. Drive discouragement away by celebrating!

Celebrate Annually

Retreat. Take some extended time. Set up your email and voice mail auto responses and simply spend a week (or two) enjoying your life. Enjoy your family. Celebrate the accomplishments of the last year. You are not yet where you want to be but thank God you are not where you were! Thank God for how far He has brought you. Now…get focused on the future. Don’t ask God to help you “make it through” the rest of the year. Ask God for some big things. Set new audacious goals!  Thank God for surprising You with His blessing before He even does it. No then… don’t you feel better?

Does all of this seem like A LOT?

It actually is a lot. Frankly, it’s too much to do alone. That’s why at CourageToLead we believe, “Every Leader Needs a Coach”…because no leader can do it all alone!

Let’s set up a call with one of our coaches to talk through your own leadership poise and how you’re leading through the realities of this season.

It’s simple, click the button below, schedule a time that works for you, fill out a brief application and show up to your call…we’ll handle the rest!

schedule your call!

The weight you’re carrying is heavy. The burden is broad. You, and every other leader I know, are currently leading through tension, fear and an uncertain future. In a recent podcast episode Shawn personally encourages you out of his heart and gives you a few thoughts on how to lead courageously in this season. Listen to this episode HERE.

talk to a coach

Source: The Discipline of Celebration

The post The Discipline of Celebration appeared first on Passion for Planting.

By: Carey Nieuwhof

You’ve heard people say that marriage can be hard, but you didn’t know it could be this hard.

You married with the hope of sharing your life with someone who’s as pumped to make the most of it as you are, so how did the two of you end up here? Maybe the turbulence of the recent months – with lifestyle disruption, threat of COVID and economic uncertainty – is taking its toll on how you both feel.

Your daily activities are no longer what they used to be, and while there some changes you enjoy, your marriage feels worse than before.

Lockdown has amplified all the annoying habits of your spouse. He chews his food too loud. She never gets out of yoga pants. You wonder to yourself, if you ever need to be quarantined again in the future, is this the person you want to be quarantined with?

As a divorce attorney and mediator, I’ve walked with hundreds of people who’ve left unhappy marriages. If you’re like many of us, you’re not dealing with a harmful or toxic marriage, but an unhappy one.

The line between harmful and unhappy is not black and white, and you may need to reach out to someone wise you trust to help you discern the difference.

If you’re like most unhappily married people, when your disappointment feels strong, you wonder whether you’ve signed up for a lifetime of misery.

If you’re like most unhappily married people, when your disappointment feels strong, you wonder whether you’ve signed up for a lifetime of misery. – @ToniNieuwhof

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I get it. There are times every marriage feels hard, even impossible. In today’s blog, I’m asking you to set aside your cynicism, your disappointment and your disillusionment for a few moments to ponder a few thoughts about separating .

Why am I writing? Because I’m so grateful there were people, including friends, speakers, authors and counsellors who I listened to and learned from while our marriage felt like it was breaking down.

Carey and I now enjoy a thriving marriage we wouldn’t dream of leaving. Who knows? Maybe one of these 3 things will help you start to move out of your distress, too:

1. Your Victim Story Will Blind You

Let me guess – so you think it’s all your spouse’s fault your marriage is so hard?

For many years when Carey and I had heated arguments, I would withdraw.

I would slip off into my own little world and go silent and become basically unreachable. But going silent wasn’t Carey’s wiring and it drove him crazy. I would insist he leave me alone while he persistently tried to draw me back into some kind of engagement. I labeled Carey’s behaviour as aggressive and this dynamic carried on over time only led us into bitterness and resentment.

Years in without realizing it, I was telling myself a victim story that threatened to derail us. It was a tangled version of I can’t do this anymore and if only he would also fight for peace and leave me alone… Turns out, my victim story distorted the truth.

When I slipped into silence during an argument, I wasn’t simply ‘fighting for peace’ – I was also stonewalling. There were times when I withdrew into my self-made fortress and treated every advance by Carey as an attack.

It was only after I absorbed the wisdom of counselors, engaged in some serious self-reflection, and developed the maturity to face my own blind spots that I could see my role more accurately.

My victim story was clouding my vision.

When it comes to relationships, if there’s a victim, there’s a perpetrator. When you adopt a victim mindset especially in marriage, the psychology of ‘we’re a team’ breaks down. Then you feel divided and disconnected from each other.

The vast majority of my family law clients saw themselves as having been victimized by their spouse in some way. Most people who were leaving said their spouse was emotionally abusive.

That label has really caught on. A victim narrative is problematic because it takes relational dynamics with inherent complexity and oversimplifies them.

You, like me, will have a human tendency to oversimplify the story in your favour, to help you avoid pain and cause you the least personal discomfort.

A victim narrative is problematic because it takes relational dynamics with inherent complexity and oversimplifies them. – @ToniNieuwhof

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Is there a subject you and your spouse avoid because one or both of you gets triggered when you broach it?

How to get the other to stop being so negative? How to fight clean instead of ‘dirty’? How to solve that nagging parenting problem? How to handle your growing money problem? How to fix your failing relationship? How much sex?

Chances are, you both believe the other person’s to blame for the unsolved problem(s) in your relationship.

You too, may have a victim story running in the background, blinding you to your own part in whatever your problem may be. But if you walk away without trying to spot your own role or offense, you’ll leave believing your part truth, part fiction victim story.

If I’d walked away when my victim story spoke to me the loudest, I would have carried the same stonewalling-under-the-guise-of-peace tendency into my next relationship.

Maybe after two or three partners, the part of my story that was fictional would become more visible. I’m grateful it didn’t happen that way.

And you don’t need to wait for the passage of time and experiences of life to open your eyes to the whole truth, either. As long as your marriage is unhappy and not toxic, you are not a victim. While the ‘blame’ for the struggles between you may not even out at 50:50, and perhaps your spouse is 90% responsible – you still have your 10% to own.

Make yourself a promise to look for your part. Avoid passively allowing time to teach you.

Search for the fictional part of your victim story, with humility. When you find it, own it, apologize for it, and start taking steps to make it right.

Chances are, you both believe the other person’s to blame for the unsolved problem(s) in your relationship. – @ToniNieuwhof

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2. You May Be Listening to the Wrong Messages

Your friends will influence you either to lean into or away from your marriage. Research shows how much your marriage decisions are influenced by the people around you. In recent years, neuroscientific research has uncovered fascinating insight into how our brains respond to the influence of the brains of the people we surround ourselves with. Moran Cerf, a neuroscientist and professor at Northwestern University, has done research into the social aspect of decision-making. As one reporter says of Cerf’s research:

So long as we make the right choices, the thinking goes, we’ll put ourselves on a path toward life satisfaction.

Cerf rejects that idea. The truth is, decision-making is fraught with biases that cloud our judgment. People misremember bad experiences as good and vice versa; they let their emotions turn a rational choice into an irrational one; and they use social cues, even subconsciously, to make choices they’d otherwise avoid…”

His neuroscience research has found that when two people are in each other’s company, their brain waves will begin to look nearly identical.

Says Cerf, “This means the people you hang out with actually have an impact on your engagement with reality beyond what you can explain. And one of the effects is you become alike.”

Cerf’s research findings don’t strike us as counterintuitive; in fact, our life experiences have already taught us that people tend to rub off on each other. We become more like the people we keep company with.

If the norm among your friends or social circle is to get a divorce when the marriage feels over, then according to the research, divorce becomes a more likely outcome for you too. But it doesn’t have to be.

You already know that you choose the company you keep and the voices you listen to. Look around you. Are the people you’re closest to cheering for your marriage? Or are they cheering for you to walk away?

Look around you. Are the people you’re closest to cheering for your marriage? Or are they cheering for you to walk away? – @ToniNieuwhof

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While you need friends who will be with you through the ups and downs, you may need to be selective about who you receive advice from. Do the messages of your friends bring you comfort, or wisdom?

If you were choosing between two job offers or two cities to relocate to, I’m guessing you would weigh the pros and the cons. You would try to see both the risks and the benefits as objectively as possible. You might also visualize what life would look like down the road for each option.

But for me, during our rough season of marriage, that kind of objectivity was hard to grasp through desperate emotions. Your pain will push you to give up, and may even cause you to visualize what a new chapter of love might look like.

But add your pain to the voices or influence of people around you who have left marriages, and you may do what you never would never do with any other major life decision.

You may be drawn by your emotions and the social influence of your friends to only see the pros and not the cons of walking away.

What to do? If you’re feeling stuck and unhappy in your marriage, you need to seek out some other voices to give you informed perspectives about your options.

Commit to spending more time with people who value their marriage and yours. Invest in a relationship with a couple who have gone through unhappy seasons but are now deeply satisfied.

Combat your internal resistance toward finding a qualified marriage counselor who comes with great reviews from couples who were distressed but aren’t anymore. Sign up for a marriage course, retreat or marriage support group.

There are people who have invaluable messages for you while you’re struggling with your marriage, but chances are they won’t just show up. You need to make the effort to seek them out.

Choose to listen for wisdom over comfort.

There are people who have invaluable messages for you while you’re struggling with your marriage, but chances are they won’t just show up. You need to make the effort to seek them out. – @ToniNieuwhof

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3. You Won’t Feel the Costs of Leaving Until You’ve Left

Ever witnessed a divorce that seemed hasty and premature? After dotting the I’s and crossing the t’s on the divorce settlement, I had a few clients who said, “If I’d only known then what I know now, I would’ve tried harder to save my marriage.”

There’s no way around it: splitting isn’t going to look or feel the way you imagine.

I walked through divorce with many clients who were shocked by the gap between what they expected after separating and what they experienced.

They had a hard time coming to terms with it. If you’ve been married any length of time, and especially if you have kids, even an out-of-court divorce will be harder and more complicated than you imagine.

Many of the parents I advised told me the primary reason they were walking away was to stop the negative impact of their fighting or their indifference toward each other on their kids.

The sad reality is that the fighting didn’t stop and their indifference proved to be problematic after they walked away in most cases.

Your divorce leaves its mark on your kids, and despite your best intentions, the emotional impact of your broken relationship will escalate as you’re forced to make critical decisions after splitting.

Who pays the price for escalating conflict? You all do, but your kids may pay more than you think.

Who pays the price for escalating conflict? You all do, but your kids may pay more than you think. – @ToniNieuwhof

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Either through your own experience or that of others, you’ve seen the other consequences of divorce. Maybe you’ve helped a friend through the grief of their marriage breakdown. Maybe you’ve seen how the demands of making divorce arrangements pushed other priorities such as work or personal health further down the list.

I’m sure you’ve heard about the financial loss people suffer when they divide the family income between two separate households. The costs of separating only become stark reality when you take the real steps.

Please don’t hear me say that divorce is never an option. In some cases, the divorce is hard but spares the family from further harm. However, don’t make a hasty decision to split. Listen to wisdom first.

Choose the hard work of facing the fictions in your own victim story. Chances are, your courage combined with action will keep you from the regret of wishing you’d tried harder.

You may believe it’s your spouse who needs to do the hard work, not you. But this decision is high stakes, and you have more influence than you think. So, where do you start? While there are many useful steps you can take, I have a couple of ideas that I believe can help.

Don’t make a hasty decision to split. Listen to wisdom first. – @ToniNieuwhof

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Some Help:

I’m offering a guide designed to help you move past your unhappiness: Six Things Unhappy Couples Say and What To Do About Them.

To access your free copy, click here.

To hear more about what to do when marriage feels hard, tune into our podcast interview with acclaimed marriage expert Dr. Gary Chapman here.

If I could sum up all these words in just a few, I would say listen up before giving up.

When Carey and I were in the middle of our dark days, I didn’t know it at the time, but I had more to learn than I ever dreamed. Our relationship now is hardly recognizable in comparison. We’re close together, facing life in the same direction.

We’re sharing intimacy and facing our challenges with locked-arm strength instead of division.

Listen up before giving up.

And don’t forget to get your copy of 6 Things Unhealthy Couples Say here!

This is a guest post written by Toni Nieuwhof. Toni is Carey Nieuwhof’s wife. She’s also the host of The Smart Family Podcast, and a member of our speaking team, and is available for podcast and media interviews on family and relationship issues (inquire here). 

What about you?

What personal change do you need to make to tear down some walls and move closer?

Leave a comment below!

The post 3 Things to Consider Before Giving Up on Your Spouse appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: 3 Things to Consider Before Giving Up on Your Spouse

The post 3 Things to Consider Before Giving Up on Your Spouse appeared first on Passion for Planting.

By: Carey Nieuwhof

As much as you wish things were getting easier in church leadership, they don’t appear to be heading in that direction.

If anything, things are more complicated than they were a month ago. And infinitely more complicated than they were a year ago.

My guess is you’ve had a thousand different thoughts rush through your mind (and heart) in 2020, not all of them, well, great.

This post was inspired by a clever and accurate post my friend Rich Birch wrote on his blog recently outlining some thoughts church staff had but wouldn’t tell their senior leaders.

I thought I’d pop into the senior leader’s head and see if anything resonates.

Please hear the tone behind this post. I’m with you as a leader.

I’ve cried actual tears for church leaders in this season and I empathize deeply with how challenging this moment is.

Yes, this is a hard time. But you will make it through. The capital C church will make it through, and it will thrive.

Sometimes naming what you’re feeling brings things to the surface you didn’t even realize were there. And yes, I’ve personally struggled with most—if not all–of these.

So what are you really thinking as a church leaders in 2020?

See if any of these ten things resonate.

1. I don’t know how much longer I can do this

Right now, most leaders are more tired than they’ve ever been.

I interviewed Levi and Jennie Lusko recently to talk about the coronavirus crisis, racial reconcillation and how they, their family and church were responding.

Levi gave me a great metaphor. He said we feel this exhaustion because we didn’t know we were running a triathalon. It’s like we got to the end of our run, we thought we were finished, and someone handed us a bicycle and then told us later we also had to swim.

Exactly.

If you’re thinking about alternative careers, other things you can do with your life, or just taking a long, extended sabbatical, hang in there.

Never quit on a bad day. If you’re going to quit on a good day. Hint: there aren’t a lot of good days right now. So hang in there.

Never quit on a bad day.Click To Tweet

In the meantime, please get the rest you need this summer (here are some simple ideas for better rest).

Taking a restorative break this summer is a great idea. A rested you is a much better you.

Leaders who never take a break end up breaking.

Leaders who never take a break end up breaking.Click To Tweet

2. I’m too tired to address the things I know I’m supposed to fix

So much is changing right now.

Long term disruptive trends that are causing decline and stagnation in the church are accelerating rapidly, and if you look at the list of issues to address and things to do, it’s arguably never been longer.

The longing you feel for everything to go back to normal is in part a natural reaction against the massive task ahead.

Denial is not a great strategy. But irrelevance and ineffectiveness are arguably worse.

So what can you do?

Get the rest you need, and lean into God and the team to give you the strength ahead to do what you need to do.

Denial is not a great strategy. But irrelevance and ineffectiveness are arguably worse. Click To Tweet

3. My thoughts and emotions are a total yoyo

Many leaders right now are feeling yoyo emotions: up one minute, down the next, and everything in between.

I get it.

One of the first casualties, when I’m stressed, are my emotions.

Sometimes they go numb, and I feel nothing. Other times, they end up being completely inappropriate or disproportionate.

Physical rest and spiritual health are key to me keeping my emotions healthy.

Your emotions impact you, your family and your team.

While this is a season, just remember that emotionally healthy leaders tend to lead emotionally healthy teams. The opposite is also true.

Emotionally healthy leaders tend to lead emotionally healthy teams. The opposite is also true. Click To Tweet

4. I’m angry at people for not coming back

Not only has the crisis accelerated long term trends of declining attendance, the possibility that many people aren’t coming back to church regularly even after coronavirus has lifted is also real.

And you’re angry at people who aren’t coming back.

If you’ve opened, you’re angry with healthy people who haven’t returned.

And if you haven’t even reopened yet,  you’re probably already mad at the people you think won’t return.

So what do you do?

Feel that emotion.

Pray through it.

Vent to a friend.

And then move on.

As you know, anger is a pretty ineffective evangelism strategy.

Anger is a pretty ineffective evangelism strategy. Click To Tweet

5. I feel best about myself when the room is full

Oh this one’s so ugly you can’t even say it out loud.

But the truth is you only really feel great about yourself when the room is full.

And as much as you said you’d never do it, you’ve tied your identity to your success.

It’s hard to post that shot to Instagram when the room is empty or 25% full because of social distancing, or half as full as it used to be pre-virus.  And screenshotting your online numbers doesn’t quite give you the rush a full room used to.

You wish you didn’t feel best about yourself when the room is full. But you do.

I’m not saying this is good. I’m just saying for many of us, it’s just a little too true.

And if you really want to drill down, the people who benefitted most from the old ways are the most motivated to try to bring them back.

So you’ll either spend a lot of energy trying to make things the way they were before, or you’ll spend more time on your knees and with a therapist trying to break the idolatry of a full room.

As much as I hate that option, it’s probably the best one.

Most pastors feel best about themselves when the room is full.Click To Tweet

6. I like the convenience of church online more than I want to admit

I needed to buy some shorts and sandals for our summer vacation. I could have gone to the mall, but that’s minimum 2 hours with the drive.

So before writing this post, I spend 15 minutes online and picked up the shorts and sandals I needed. They’ll be here this week.

That’s convenient, and it’s been life (retail-wise) for years.

All my life, church has been an almost full Sunday morning commitment…sometimes longer. It has been for most of you reading this too.

What’s shocked me most in 2020 is how what was a full morning or almost full morning (I’m Founding Pastor now and not as involved in the day to day as I was when I was a Lead Pastor), when I’m not teaching it’s now down to about an hour on a Sunday.

That’s a big change.

If you pre-record your messages, maybe Sunday feels different than it used to.

Even when I teach live now on a Sunday in an empty room, if we get a good take of the message during the first service, I can finish up. After all, there’s no one in the room to talk to anyway besides a minimal crew.

As much as most church leaders have railed against the challenges of online church, you probably enjoy the convenience more than you want to admit.

As much as most church leaders have railed against the challenges of online church, you probably enjoy the convenience more than you want to admit. Click To Tweet

7. I hate the prospect of church online for the future

And that said—and as much as you like online shopping personally— you hate the prospect of church online for the future.

No one has done this before, and you were good at church in the old model.

Besides, you’re a relational person. You love ministering to people you can see, touch and engage with personally.

When it comes to ministry, the internet feels like a vapor.

And you’re not sure you’re up to it.

8. I’m not sure more or my team has the skill set for the next chapter

If you drill down further, you’re a little frightened.

No one trained you for this. There wasn’t a single class in seminary in online ministry.

Other people are better at the camera than you are. Your church isn’t really staffed for this.

Maybe you just don’t have the skill set for the next era of ministry.

And perhaps your staff doesn’t either. You didn’t hire your team for this moment.

And now you’re into something you didn’t sign up for.

The truth is you can probably learn the skill set and so can your team. It just takes time and energy.  Which takes up straight back to points 1-3 of this post.

Most church leaders’ silent fear: I’m not sure me or my team has the skill set for the next chapter of ministry. Click To Tweet

9. I can’t handle any more change

2020 has been one thing stacked up on the other. You feel like everything is breaking – your routine, your systems, the economy, the culture…and you don’t know how to put it back together.

And as important as some of these things are, you just can’t take any more.

So please stop. Just stop.

Can we go back to normal? I know normal is dead. But I’d really like to go back.

Of course—and you know this too–change is unkind to the unprepared. But still….

Change is unkind to the unprepared.Click To Tweet

10. I haven’t taken any time to grieve

Everybody around you is grieving and craving a return to normal, and secretly so are you, but you know in your head you haven’t really processed much. You’ve been too busy.

And as a leader, what you do is cast vision and bury your grief because you’re afraid that if you stop, you’ll break.

And as a leader, what you do is cast vision and bury your grief because you’re afraid that if you stop, you’ll break.Click To Tweet

I can personally assure you that this is a little too true.

I spent a decade not grieving the losses that piled up, and it was a major factor in my burnout.

A mentor once told me that ministry is a series of ungrieved losses. He’s right. And now more than ever.

When you grieve your losses, you’re able to move through them to a new tomorrow.

So this summer, take time to rest…and grieve. You’ll come back with fresh energy.

The situation may not be any better, but you will be. And that’s what makes the difference.

This summer, take time to rest…and grieve. You’ll come back with fresh energy. The situation may not be any better, but you will be. And that’s what makes the difference. Click To Tweet

A Simpler Way to Navigate a Complex Future

Yes, there’s a ton of change happening right now. And it’s exhausting.

As complex as things are, having a simple framework to navigate the change will make the task ahead much easier.

If you want to position yourself for the future, my brand new online training, the 30-Day Pivot, will show you how to develop your agility as a leader and as an organization to position yourself for growth.

The 30-Day Pivot is a simple 3-step process you and your team can utilize every as often as every 30 days to respond to the change around you and capitalize on it.

In the 30-Day Pivot, you’ll learn:

A simple 3-step process your team can use to arrive at your next pivot in 90 minutes or less.
An approach that fosters team-generated innovation.
An implementation and evaluation framework that will help your team move quickly and accurately.

I’ve led teams through multiple pivots, and in the 30 Day Pivot, I show you the strategy and framework you need to make quick, accurate and responsive moves that can position your organization for growth, even in the midst of deep uncertainty and change.

Some organizations and churches will thrive in the new normal.

Others won’t.

While the future is uncertain, yours doesn’t have to be.

You can learn more and gain instant access to the 30 Day Pivot here.

What Are You Feeling?

I’m so glad we’re in this season together. Sometimes, just naming what you’re feeling or thinking can be the first step to addressing it.

What are you feeling?

Scroll down a leave a comment.

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Source: What Church Leaders Are (Really) Thinking in 2020

The post What Church Leaders Are (Really) Thinking in 2020 appeared first on Passion for Planting.

Source: The Plastic Pastor’s Wife

The post The Plastic Pastor’s Wife appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Carey Nieuwhof: John Ortberg has a brand new podcast, What Were You Thinking? Today, we flip the mic, and John interviews Carey Nieuwhof about workaholism, how to be appropriately vulnerable about your story, and finding God when things get tough in life and leadership.

Welcome to Episode 307 of the podcast. Listen and access the show notes below or search for the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and listen for free.

Guest Links

Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | What Were You Thinking?

Episode Links

What if, in 40 days, you could grow your small groups in your church by 40%? Based on Pastor Zach Zehnder’s book, The Red Letter Challenge is a 40-day turnkey church campaign that centers around making more effective disciples of Jesus. Go to RedLetterChallenge.com/Carey to find church packages ready to go for you.

The High Impact Workplace

10 Million Podcast Downloads Giveaway

Managing Leadership Anxiety by Steve Cuss

Didn’t See It Coming by Carey Nieuwhof

The Genesee Diary by Henry Nouwen

3 Insights from John and Carey

1. Burnout is a factor for all driven people

Most leaders eventually hit a wall, whether it’s clinical burnout, their marriage falling apart, their relationship with their kids deteriorating, or realizing they simply need to delegate. Every driven leader gets there. When they hit this wall, they realize that a change needs to be made, but most have no clue what that change is.

Although it’s not the same for everyone, it is almost always tied to a lie that a leader believes. Carey has learned that he, as a leader, was believing that his performance defined his worth. This led to him trying to perform more and more until he hit his wall. Ever since, he has been intentional about living in a way today that will help him thrive tomorrow.

2. The senior leader sets the culture

Over many years of thinking and inspecting his own leadership, Carey has learned that unhealthy leaders create unhealthy cultures. He knows this because he used to be that unhealthy leader. Now, he has spent years changing how he views the purpose of work in his and his team’s lives.

He used to think that he uses people to get work done, and that led to an unhealthy culture. Now, he has realized that he is trying to use work to grow the people that work there. In a healthy culture, people are the goal, not the work.

3. The appropriate level of vulnerability to have from the stage is…

Carey has learned that the voice and position we communicate from makes a massive impact on whether the message is helpful or not. Many leaders naturally take a position where they are up on top of a mountain, and if you want access to them, you have to come sit at their feet. Carey has learned that this position doesn’t work. People admire your strengths but they resonate with your weaknesses.

So what voice does Carey use? He uses a voice that is “ in the field” with the reader. This voice is saying, “I know this is hard, I struggle too, but maybe making this change will help us.” When Carey uses this voice, he is much more engaged with his audience.

Quotes from Episode 307

Spiritual health is often a casualty of ministry and leadership. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

When you’re winning at church and losing at home, you’re losing. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

How do I live in a way today that will help me thrive tomorrow? @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

The office is something we used to go to, and now the office goes to us. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

By the time this race is over, I want the people closest to me to be the people who are most grateful for me. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

People are most tempted to quit moments before their critical breakthrough. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

The health of the organization is directly linked to the health of the senior leader. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

Unhealthy leaders create unhealthy cultures. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

Sometimes burnout is God’s will for your life because he wants to do a redirection. @johnortbergClick To Tweet

If God wants to go deep. It’s because he wants to take you far. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

You cannot over communicate. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

Read or Download the Transcript for Episode 307

Looking for a key quote? More of a reader?

Read or download a free PDF transcript of this episode here.

Watch Back Episodes of The Podcast on YouTube

Select episodes of this podcast are now on YouTube. Our new YouTube Channel gives you a chance to watch some episodes, not just listen. We’ll add select episodes to YouTube as time goes on.

INTRODUCING THE HIGH IMPACT WORKPLACE
(AND MY FREE COACHING GUIDE)

There’s a talent war going on for the best leaders, a generational divide at work, and, according to Gallup, 70% of all workers are disengaged at work (meaning that they show up and only do the bare minimum.)

Introducing The High Impact Workplace, a new online, on-demand course where I show you what’s changing in the workplace and how to respond. As a founder and senior leader myself, I’ll share a strategy that will help you engage even the best and most gifted young leaders at work.

In the course, I’ll give you the exact strategies you need to:

Attract and keep high capacity leaders who would otherwise start their own businesses.
Identify and leverage the currency that motivates young leaders.
Navigate flexible work arrangements that result in deeper productivity.
Master the 5 questions every great manager asks their team for deeper engagement.
Discover how to create workplace environments that multiple generations can thrive in.
Learn how to keep your company or organization relevant to the next generation of leaders.

The High Impact Workplace will give you the edge you need to create the best team you can moving forward in an age where 8-4 doesn’t work anymore (just ask any young leader about that).

Enrollment to the course is only open for a few days and only available now at this low price. So hurry!

To learn more or get access today to the High Impact Workplace, click here.

Subscribed Yet? 

Subscribe for free and never miss out on wisdom from world-class leaders like Brian Houston, Andy Stanley, Craig Groeschel, Nancy Duarte, Henry Cloud, Patrick Lencioni, Francis Chan, Ann Voskamp, Erwin McManus and many others.

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Spread the Word. Leave a Rating and Review

Hopefully, this episode has helped you lead like never before. That’s my goal. If you appreciated it, could you share the love?

The best way to do that is to rate the podcast on Apple Podcasts and leave us a brief review! You can do the same on Stitcher and on TuneIn as well.

Your ratings and reviews help us place the podcast in front of new leaders and listeners. Your feedback also lets me know how I can better serve you.

Thank you for being so awesome.

Next Episode: Larry Osborne

Larry Osborne shares 4 decades of wisdom with leaders on everything from how to connect high capacity leaders, to what to do if you wanted to make a million dollars, to questions you should ask other leaders, to meeting dynamics on how to handle him. Carey spends almost the entire episode pitching some of his favorite Larry Osborne quotes back to Larry and having Larry expound on them. The results are fascinating.

Subscribe for free now and you won’t miss Episode 308.

The post CNLP 307: John Ortberg and Carey Nieuwhof on Workaholism, How to Be Appropriately Vulnerable, and Finding God When Things are Bad in Leadership appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: CNLP 307: John Ortberg and Carey Nieuwhof on Workaholism, How to Be Appropriately Vulnerable, and Finding God When Things are Bad in Leadership

The post CNLP 307: John Ortberg and Carey Nieuwhof on Workaholism, How to Be Appropriately Vulnerable, and Finding God When Things are Bad in Leadership appeared first on Passion for Planting.

This is a blog post by Dillon Smith. Dillon is the content manager for Carey Nieuwhof Communications and a member of the Speaking Team. You can book Dillon to speak at your next event or on for an interview on your podcast here.

By Dillon Smith

There are some things they just never teach you about leadership in college, no matter how great your school is.

I’m a 21-year-old leader who has learned to thrive in a high-feedback company with a steep learning curve.

And as with anything in life, I had to learn a few hard things quickly—like using too many exclamation marks in emails, not taking video calls from coffee shops, and using proper grammar, for example.

But there were a few things that took A LOT of work for me to get my head around. Things college never prepared me for.

And as I look around at other leaders in their late-teens and early 20’s, I see a few of my own struggles that are universal among today’s young people.

Here are 3 things nobody taught me about leadership today in college:

The more feedback we get, the more familiar we became with our weaknesses.Click To Tweet

1. How to Think From First Principles

Most young leaders reading this will have no clue what first-principles thinking is. I didn’t either.

In short, first principles thinking is the ability to dissect at a problem down to the deepest level of truth; it’s the ability to see each individual part of a problem and determine what action needs to be taken to fix it. (Here is an article that gives a much longer definition.)

This is a way of thinking I didn’t even know existed but has helped me so much.

So why do young leaders struggle with thinking about problems at their deepest level?

There are a few contributing factors, but I think the primary cause is the modern education system’s heavy emphasis on group projects, and group work.

Group projects are great (in theory) for building communication and teamwork skills, but they sacrifice the opportunity for a student to overcome a complex problem on their own.

Looking back at my own schooling, my mindset was “I’ll contribute what I can, and other people will do whatever I can’t.”

There was never the mindset of “I need to figure out how to fix this problem” or “this depends on me.”

This mindset permeated into regular individual projects too. The general attitude was, “If this is too hard for me to figure out quickly, it’s the teacher’s fault, not mine.”

And that thinking actually worked. If too many people in the class were struggling with a project, the teacher would lower the expectations or throw it out completely. And the teachers that didn’t were hated by everyone in the school and painted as jerks.

Looking back, I see that the teachers that taught me the most were those teachers who everybody hated and labeled as ‘unfair.’

The teachers that taught me the most were the teachers who everybody hated and labeled as ‘unfair.’Click To Tweet

The real tragedy is that I can count 3 teachers throughout my public high school career that actually made me think.

And now, I’ve carried this mindset through college and into the workplace and it is doing me ZERO good.

Even though our company works as a team, all of the tasks that I need to get done are on me, not my teammates.

And before this job, I’ve rarely had to solve major problems on my own before.

Most individuals who grew up in our modern education system have no clue how to think through first-principles.

Just so you can spot this on your own team, here’s an easy way to tell if a young leader struggles with this:

Ask them a really difficult question that they don’t know the answer to. What do they do? Do they try to figure out the answer for themselves? Or do they just ask the nearest person that might know?

If they do the second option, first-principles thinking is not their default. (My natural response is also to do the second option, and I’ve had to learn to overcome that.)

So how does someone learn to think through first-principles?

As I have worked for our company, Carey Nieuwhof (my boss) and I have had dozens of conversations where he asks me question after question trying to get me to break a problem down to first principles.

I’m sure this takes a lot of patience on his part, but it has helped me immensely to walk through the process of breaking a problem down with someone who knows where we’re going.

So if you are an older leader, take the time to do the same with your young staff members.

Don’t give them the answer when they don’t know, make them discover it for themselves.

They might not like it at first, but later on, they will thank you.

If you are an older leader, take the time to do the same with your young staff members. Don’t give them the answer when they don’t know, make them discover it for themselves.Click To Tweet

2. The Playing Field of Influence Has Been Flattened (And So has Our Judgment)

My job is to manage content for this blog and the company, and I’m learning a lot about that these days. As my generation gets more and more of our news from social media, the playing field of influence has been flattened, and so has our judgment.

In the world of social media, a Fox News or CNN headline now gets the same space as a headline from CompleteFakeNewsNow.com. If you’re not careful you can fall into the trap of giving each headline equal influence on how you think.

As my generation gets more and more of our news from social media, the playing field of influence has been flattened, and so has our judgment.Click To Tweet

I just ran into this problem a few weeks ago.

I was scrolling through Facebook and I saw a polarizing statistic in a headline and I shared it.

Later that week I flew up to Canada to spend some time at our company headquarters (also known as Carey’s house.)

While I was there, Carey talked about how many headlines on social media are coming from truly fake news sites (private sites designed to manipulate data and lie) and how they are saying whatever they can to get more clicks to their website.

This made me think back to the post I had shared earlier on in the week. So I went back and checked it.

Sure enough, the headline I had shared was completely fake. It had no credible sources. The only site it linked to was an editorial on some local website.

But to me, that headline was true when I read it, and I am sure it was to whoever else read it.

So why is this a blind spot?

As leaders, who we read and listen to has a massive impact on how we lead.

We need to make sure we are listening to people who are actually speaking the truth. Whether we like the truth or not.

As a boss/manager, one way you could help us is to introduce us to a few voices that you trust and ask us to follow them. Also, point out fake articles to us and challenge us to quit following those people who share them (this is similar to what Carey did for me.)

As leaders, who we read and listen to has a massive impact on how we lead. Click To Tweet

3. Outrage Culture Is Normal

As I mentioned above, one of the primary determining factors of how many people see a post is the number of engagements and shares a post is getting.

This is fine until you actually look at what posts get the most engagement these days.

Sadly, we live in a cultural moment in which posts with extremely negative words like shreds, destroys, toxic, lethal, fascist, terrorist, etc, always get the best engagement.

Overall, the trend we are seeing is that the more anxiety you can make people feel, the more attention you will get on the internet.

And negative or cynical headlines give people a lot of anxiety.

As Carey points out in his Escape The Algorithm post, this phenomenon leads to groups of people that are filled with anger and hate.

So here’s the danger for young people:

This “outrage culture” is normal for people my age and younger.

We grew up in this.

We’ve never known anything but this.

And as a result, many of us don’t understand that you can disagree with someone without disliking someone.

Sadly, today’s young people have learned conflict resolution from angry people on Facebook, Twitter, and Reddit, and that isn’t conflict resolution at all.

Today’s young people have learned conflict resolution from angry people on Facebook, Twitter, and Reddit, and that isn’t conflict resolution at all. Click To Tweet

This is really dangerous for us once we enter the workplace because we can’t just “block” or “ban” a coworker after we disagree with them.

We have to learn how to work through the conflict and keep a working relationship, otherwise, one of us needs to quit or get fired.

So how can someone grow out of this?

We need to learn to disagree without being disagreeable. (I stole this phrase from Carey… Thanks Carey!)

We need to learn to disagree without being disagreeable. Click To Tweet

Some of the best leaders in history have been masters at this. Martin Luther King Jr, Gandhi, and Jesus all had different (and much more healthy) ways to approach those that they disagreed with.

They had the ability to see that other people had flawed ways of thinking, and not immediately write them off as enemies.

They saw that the future is better when enemies stand together.

We need to be taking notes from them.

The future is better when enemies stand together. Click To Tweet

Want more time to develop leaders?

Exhausted thinking about how much work is ahead of you?

You probably feel like you just don’t have the time for that.

Good news.

I’d love to help you do just that. And you do have the time. I’ll show you exactly how to find it.

I’ve helped over 3000 leaders free up hundreds of hours each year and often 3 hours a day to do what they feel they never have time for and get healthier in the process.

My High Impact Leader course, is my online, on-demand course designed to help you get time, energy and priorities working in your favour.

It’s perfect for leaders who feel like they never have enough time in the day to get the really important things done.

Many leaders who have taken it are recovering 3 productive hours a day.  That’s about 1000 hours of found time each year. That’s a lot of time for what matters most.

Here are what some alumni are saying about The High Impact Leader Course”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you for providing the course again. It has absolutely made an impact in my life and family already that I can’t even describe.” – Joel Rowland, Clayton County, North Carolina

“Just wow.  Thank you, thank you.” Dave Campbell,  Sioux Falls South Dakota

“A game-changer.” Pam Perkins,  Colorado Springs, Colorado

Curious? Want to beat overwhelm and have the time to reflect, rest and reinvent yourself?

Click here to learn more or get instant access.

Look Around You

Do you have young leaders who need to read this post? The sooner they hear this, the sooner they fix the problems modern education has caused.

Do them a favor and talk through this post with them.

Also, what blind spots do you think I left out? Do you think I’m wrong about any of them?

Feel free to disagree without being disagreeable in the comments below:

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Source: 3 Things They Never Taught Me About Leadership in College

The post 3 Things They Never Taught Me About Leadership in College appeared first on Passion for Planting.