Source: Have You Lost the Vision?

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by Carey Nieuwhof: You’ve probably thought about quitting recently.

The data David Kinnaman, President of Barna Group shares weekly on our joint podcast, Church Pulse Weekly, shows that pastors are more discouraged than ever,  are worried about much lower effectiveness in their ministry post-COVID, and that 20% of churches might not even survive.

No wonder you’ve thought about quitting.

Speaking personally, I find that even so scrolling through my social media and news feed most days discourages me.

I’m not telling you can’t quit. Of course you can. You can do whatever you’d like.

But I would like to try to persuade you why, for most leaders, this is probably the wrong time to leave. To at least reconsider.

And I’d live to give you a few strategies to help you move through these days with more composure, grace and, well, sanity.

I get it. It’s hard. Really hard.

Here’s why it’s worth hanging in if you can.

1. Quitting on a Bad Day is a Really Bad Idea

I’ve wanted to quit more than a few times, and almost always that’s because I’m having a bad day.

Here’s what I’ve realized: quitting on a bad day is a really bad idea.

On a bad day, your emotions hijack your brain. You can’t think straight, and you almost always end up doing things you regret.

Quitting is pretty permanent.

Quitting on a bad day is a really bad idea. On a bad day, your emotions hijack your brain. You can’t think straight, and you almost always end up doing things you regret. If you’re going to quit, quit on a good day.

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And if quitting on a bad day is a bad idea, 2020 has been a string of bad days, weeks and months. The pressure is cumulative. And it’s probably wisest to resist.

Does this mean you can never quit?

Of course not. If it’s time to go, it’s time to go. I’m actually stepping down from our church staff at the end of 2020, but that was planned for years as part of a carefully developed succession plan.

If you’re going to quit, quit on a good day. After careful prayer, adequate rest, wise counsel and a clear sense this is the best step into the future.

If you’re having a bad day (or a bad year), hang in there. You’ll probably be glad you did.

If you need some further incentive, here’s a pattern I’ve noticed in my life: you’re most tempted to quit moments before a critical breakthrough.

I can’t tell you the number of times I almost gave up, didn’t, and saw a break through right around the corner.

So hang in there.

You’re most tempted to quit moments before a critical breakthrough.

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2. You’re Probably Just About To Innovate

You know the saying: necessity is the mother invention.

So, yep, things are really tough. Which also means you’re probably about to start innovating.

Most of the change that’s happened since March 2020 hasn’t been innovation, it’s been adaptation. You had no choice, so you really didn’t pivot, you adapted. We all did.

Most of the change that’s happened since March 2020 hasn’t been innovation, it’s been adaptation.

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The adaptation is wearing thin. It’s not working as well as it did a few months ago.

And the return ‘back to church’ has been, for the most part, a shadow of what existed pre-COVID. Many leaders stepped back into the past when they stepped back into their buildings, and now they’re now frustrated with the lack of progress they see.

Which is driving you to despair. But sitting on the other side of despair is something much more promising: innovation.

Let your desperation drive you to innovation. That’s where all the promise is.

Let your desperation drive you to innovation. That’s where all the promise is.

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3. The World Has Never Needed the Church More

That these have been hard times for most churches and leaders is absolutely true.

Most churches are seeing significant declines in in-person and even online attendance. I get it. That’s really discouraging.

But the mission of the church has never been more important.

In a divided, tribalized, angry, isolated and fragile culture, the mission of the church has never been more important.

While some church leaders are mimicking the attitude of the culture, supporting partisan candidates and fueling anger online, the future belongs to pastors who don’t.

What the culture needs is an alternative to itself, and the church is just that.

This is a great time to remind yourself that when you’re surrounded by division, the church brings unity.

When you see isolation, the church fuels community.

It’s a good time to affirm once again the answer to hate isn’t more hate, it’s the radically countercultural practice of enemy-love Jesus embodied.

The world does need need the church to mimic it right now, it needs the church to provide an alternative.

Perhaps you were called into leadership for such a time as this.

In a divided, tribalized, angry, isolated and fragile culture, the mission of the church has never been more important.

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4. The Challenge of 2020 Places You Squarely in the Tradition of Biblical Leadership

I don’t know about you, but the biblical stories I’ve read all my life are leaping off the page in fresh ways this year.

As much as you might hate 2020, it places you squarely in the tradition of most Biblical leadership. Leaders in scripture almost always led through crisis.

As much as you might hate 2020, it places you squarely in the tradition of most Biblical leadership. Leaders in scripture almost always led through crisis.

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If you think being Moses was easy, hang out in Exodus or Deuteronomy for a little longer. It was brutal.

People criticize the scripture regularly for being too violent (that often confuses descriptive passages with prescriptive passages). Conflict, war, oppression, invasions, and corrupt political systems characterize biblical times.

But personally, I’m glad the scriptures don’t describe some idyllic life where everyone walks in the woods in perfect harmony with each other, because that’s not the world we live in. Come on, that’s not even your family. You can’t go for a walk without someone arguing about something.

No, the dysfunction we see in biblical characters reflects the dysfunction we see in ourselves.

And strangely, through it all, we see God’s hand still at work. That Christ’s redeeming work is still progressing.

The church in Corinth was a mess. And God used it.

None of this justifies the dysfunction, but it lets us know that God works in it and in spite of it.

Which means there’s hope for you and me.

Which means when you lead through the mess that is today,  you are squarely in the tradition of Biblical leadership, tracing out hope where nobody can find any.

When you lead through the mess that is today, you are squarely in the tradition of Biblical leadership, tracing out hope where nobody can find any.

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Three Ways To Stay Encouraged In Leadership

So, that’s a little motivation as you why you shouldn’t quit.

But how do you find the fuel and motivation to stay in there?

Here are three things that have helped me and I hope will help you.

1. Don’t Look To Time Off To Heal You—Pay Attention To Your Time On

I know a lot of leaders who are holding out for some time off. And time off is wonderful.

But it’s not going to get you through the crisis. You just can’t take enough vacation or days off to get you through a prolonged crisis.

When the way you’re living and leading is broken, all the time in the world off won’t fix it.

When the way you’re living and leading is broken, all the time in the world off won’t fix it.

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The problem with most leaders is not how we spend our time off. It’s how we spend our time on.

So, focus on creating a sustainable rhythm for every day.  The mantra I’ve lived by for the last decade plus is live in a way today that will help you thrive tomorrow.  It helps me figure out everything from how much sleep I need, how many meetings to take, how many decisions I can reasonably make, and how to replenish myself daily so I can lead at home and at work.

Your time off can’t save you if the problem is how you spend your time on.

This might take constant adjustment on your part, but it’s worth it.

Your time off can’t save you if the problem is how you spend your time on.

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2. Create An Encouragement File

For years I’ve kept a file I simply call “encouragement”.

It’s a simple Gmail folder.

The rule is simple. When someone sends me something that encourages me (an email, a blog comment, a DM, a card, a note), I put it in that file.   Often it’s a thank you for something I said or did, a short message of encouragement, and sometimes it’s a life-change story (love those!).

Here’s why I keep it (hang on, my reasoning is complicated): I get discouraged.

The news bothers me. My social media feed can be depressing. Results can be disappointing. And critics can get under my skin.

Sometimes it doesn’t even take a comment from anyone.  I can discourage myself in no time flat.

You probably get a lot of encouragement, but you just forget. Plus it takes about 1000 positive comments to compensate for the one devastating critique someone emailed you.

When you get discouraged, read what you’ve saved in your encouragement file.

God is using you more than you think, and people appreciate you more than you realize.

It takes about 1000 positive comments to compensate for the one devastating critique someone emailed you. So start an encouragement file. God is using you more than you think, and people appreciate you more than you realize.

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3. Don’t Do This Alone: It Can Kill You

Leadership was already lonely enough before the crisis hit. Now it’s even lonelier.

If you want to stay motivated and strong in leadership, you can’t do it alone.

Think loneliness isn’t a big deal?

Think again. Apparently it can kill you.

Loneliness can be more deadly to your health than smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

Leaders, loneliness can be more deadly to your health than smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

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If you’re feeling lonely, reach out to a friend. I’ve reached out to a handful of friends in the pandemic. One friend and I text every day, just to stay in touch and encourage each other.

And when you can grab lunch and meet face to face, do it.

Solitude is a gift from God. Isolation is a tool of the enemy.

Leaders, you’re only as lonely as you choose to be.

Solitude is a gift from God. Isolation is a tool of the enemy. Leaders, you’re only as lonely as you choose to be.

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Big Announcement Coming. Some Practical Help is On the Way!

If you’re struggling with online church, you’re not alone.

I’ve got a really big announcement coming this week about a new free resource that can help your church engage the people who are watching you online.

Stay tuned!

What Keeps You Hanging In There?

I know this is a tough season and I’m so glad we’re connected through it.

What keeps you hanging in there when you feel like you’re ready to quit?

Scroll down, leave a comment and encourage another leader today.

The post Why You Shouldn’t Quit Ministry Right Now, Even Though You Feel Like It appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: Why You Shouldn’t Quit Ministry Right Now, Even Though You Feel Like It

The post Why You Shouldn’t Quit Ministry Right Now, Even Though You Feel Like It appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Carey Nieuwhof: Dear Discouraged  Leader,

Being a leader isn’t the easiest thing in the world. But it isn’t the hardest thing in the world either.

You’re not alone. Leadership is hard at times. In fact, if you’re really leading, there’s rarely a season that isn’t filled with challenges.

Just as you solve one problem, two more pop up. You solve them, and out of the corner of your eye, spot the next one.

I get it.

After seeing leader after leader struggle with discouragement and want to quit long before their calling ran out, I wanted to write this note (HT to Casey Graham).

None of us really feel like the most successful person on earth. I don’t. You don’t.

And even though things are going well at the moment and I have so much to be thankful for, I spend too many days wondering whether I’m missing something or feeling like we should be making more progress than we should.

You know what it’s like… The weight of:

Budget and expenses
People who promise the moon but never even deliver the earth
New people who say they’re in and then walk out
Your leadership feeling like it’s always under a microscope
Not being where you thought you would be at this point in your leadership or life
Uncertainty. Constant uncertainty.
Team members you’re struggling with and just don’t know how to deal with
Knowing your organization isn’t perfect and wishing it would be but knowing it won’t ever be
Lack of gratitude; in others and in you
Feeling let down by others
You letting yourself down
Seeing other people’s organizations & speaking & believing they have it easier than you do

And on and on and on it goes…

This is the side of leadership they never teach you in college.

So I want you to know something.  The discouragement you feel inside is real & coming from somewhere. Think about this and let this sink in for a while today:

The happiest and healthiest people are those whose expectations meet reality.

What do you do with that?

Here are five questions every discouraged leader would do well to ask themselves before they give up or give in.

The happiest & healthiest people are those whose expectations meet reality.Click To Tweet

1. What Do I Expect My Organization to Give Me?

No organization will ever give you ultimate peace, fulfillment, joy, purpose, or anything like that. Not even a church.  If you are expecting that from being a leader, you won’t find it.

If you are constantly discouraged or frustrated about your organization, it might be because you are hoping it will give you something only God can give you.

And when you look to people or things to give you what only God can give you, you’re signing up for misery.

When you look to people or things to give you what only God can give you, you’re signing up for misery.Click To Tweet

2. Who Do I Hope Will Affirm Me?

This is a big one.

We all look for affirmation from people.

Here’s something someone told me a long time ago that I really don’t like because it’s really so true: Never expect the people you lead to affirm you. 

It’s not fair to them. And ultimately it’s not fair to you.

Your job is to lead them, not to get them to try to affirm you.

Hey, if it comes…awesome. Consider that a bonus. But if you keep looking to them for their praise, you’ll end up sliding down the slippery slope under question 3….

Never expect the people you lead to affirm you. (Your job is to lead them, not to get them to try to affirm you.) Click To Tweet

3. Who Am I Trying to Please?

You will never please your employees or the people you serve fully.  It’s impossible because we are imperfect people & they are as well.

If you are trying to please other church leader or get recognized, you will be miserable.  You can never keep up with anyone else’s expectations. And you’ll let yourself, your family and ultimately God down.

If you focused on being liked, you won’t lead. You’re insistence on pleasing everyone will mean you ultimately please no one.

Not to mention yourself.

If you focused on being liked, you won’t lead. You’re insistence on pleasing everyone will mean you ultimately please no one.Click To Tweet

4. How Honest Am I Being With Myself and Others?

If you stuff your leadership failures & missed expectations instead of dealing with them, you will implode or explode one day.  Your discouragement & mine often comes from stuffing things we should just admit and deal with.

If you have a problem with another person, be completely honest with them.  If you are mad at somebody, tell them.

If somebody let you down, let them now.  If you have let yourself down, tell a friend.

Lying and pretending leads to misery.  Just say it. I have done this numerous times and it’s terrible up front but so freeing in the end. And you know what?

Much of the time you end up saving the relationship.

If you won’t be honest with others, you also won’t be able to truly lead them.

If you won’t be honest with others, you also won’t be able to truly lead them.Click To Tweet

5. What Lie Am I Believing?

Gurus make it seem so easy don’t they? Go to their conference or buy their product and all your problems disappear. Did you ever buy into that lie at some point?

Chances are you thought leadership would be easier. Well, that’s just a lie.

Identify the lie you are believing & you will crush some of the discouragement.  The lie that marketers sell you is really killing your spirit. We only need to look at the scripture to discover that leadership was rarely easy.

Your discouragement isn’t just discouragement.  It’s a symptom of something deeper going on.  If you want to create a healthy culture in your organization, you can’t live mad all the time.  You can’t be frustrated 24/7.  Take a step today & answer these questions honestly.

I believe it will help you beat your discouragement & get back on the growth track.

It’s a lie to say leadership is easy. It’s the absolute truth, though, that humble, determined, committed leadership is worth it.

It’s a lie to say leadership is easy. It’s the absolute truth, though, that humble, determined, committed leadership is worth it. Click To Tweet

Let’s Get You Thriving

You know what makes leadership harder than it needs to be?

Overwhelm. And almost every leader I know is overwhelmed.

Let me show you how to beat that.

Want to find far more time at work and at home?  Want to really crack not just getting a day off, but finding more time for what matters most every single day?

It’s very possible…and I’d love to help you get on top of your everything so you can get your life and leadership back.

If you’re trying to find the time for what matters most in life, my High Impact Leader course, is my online, on-demand course designed to help you get time, energy and priorities working in your favour.

Many leaders who have taken it are recovering 3 productive hours a day.  That’s about 1000 hours of found time each year. That’s a lot of time for what matters most.

Here are what some alumni are saying about The High Impact Leader Course”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you for providing the course again. It has absolutely made an impact in my life and family already that I can’t even describe.” – First Priority, Clayton County, North Carolina

“Carey’s course was the perfect way for our team to prepare for the new year. Our team, both collectively and individually, took a fresh look at maximizing our time and leadership gifts for the year ahead. I highly recommend this leadership development resource for you and your team.” Jeff Henderson, Gwinnett Church, Atlanta Georgia

“A lot of books and programs make big promises and cannot deliver but this is not one of them. I have read so many books and watched videos on productivity but the way you approach it and teach is helpful and has changed my work week in ministry in amazing ways.” Chris Sloan, Tanglewood Church, Kingston, North Carolina

“Just wow.  Thank you, thank you.” Dave Campbell, Invitation Church, Sioux Falls South Dakota

“A game changer.” Pam Perkins, Red Rock Church, Colorado Springs, Colorado

Curious? Want to beat overwhelm and have the time to reinvent yourself?

Click here to learn more or get instant access.

What Helps You Beat Discouragement?

We all get discouraged. What helps you beat it?

Scroll down and leave a comment!

The post Dear Discouraged Leader (5 Questions to Ask Before You Implode) appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: Dear Discouraged Leader (5 Questions to Ask Before You Implode)

The post Dear Discouraged Leader (5 Questions to Ask Before You Implode) appeared first on Passion for Planting.