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The Unmet Emotional Needs of Pastors

Sean Cronin — Tue, 09 Jun 2020 09:00:16 +0000

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The Unmet Emotional Needs of Pastors

By New Churches Team

It’s no secret that pastoring is a calling that comes with many demands—pressure to please everyone in the congregation, a burden to keep church finances healthy, and carrying the weight of church growth.

And while pastors work to meet these demands, many of their own needs—namely, emotional needs—go unmet.

A 2016 LifeWay Research study found that nearly half (48%) of current and former pastors said the demands of ministry often felt like more than they could handle.

But a closer look at the disparities between the responses of those who had left the pastorate and those who remained tell a hard-hitting story:

21% of current pastors vs. 49% of former pastors believed their church had unrealistic expectations.
35% of current pastors vs. 62% of former pastors reported feeling isolated.
89% of current pastors vs. 68% of former pastors felt free to say no to unrealistic expectations.
92% of current pastors vs. 61% of former pastors believed their congregation provides genuine encouragement to their family.

The pressures of unrealistic expectations, feelings of isolation, and lack of encouragement point to just a few of many pastors’ unmet emotional needs.

We recently reached out to several pastors with the open-ended question, “What are some unmet emotional needs you see in pastors? This could be for yourself or any other pastors you’ve known/observed.”

Here are some of the responses:

1. Security

“They need to feel confident that their job is more than financial. Many pastors believe that if the tithes don’t increase, they’ll be fired. Most churches see decreasing tithes as a sign of God’s judgment against that pastor. It creates a mountain of stress and fear on the pastor that keeps him from doing outreach or missions or repairing a building at the church. If a pastor felt the emotional security that comes from a trusting congregation, he would have less stress and more confidence to lead as the Lord directs.”

2. Mentorship

“Having someone to look up to and model yourself after. Someone you can spend time with and not feel like you don’t have to be ‘on’ and potentially mobilize yourself on a moment’s notice to care for them.”

3. Empathy

“There is so much ‘Dear pastors …’ advice these days from people who don’t know what it is like to lead. I also think that as much as pastors need empathy in the way they lead, members need empathy for their pastors, who are often having to make hard decisions, to see a lot of humans suffering and sin up close and are in need of their own rest and sabbath and joy. “

4. Assurance of Adequacy

“Pastors are expected to live and lead by faith, not fear. While this is a fair expectation, the reality is that we do not always live up to that expectation—even from ourselves. We have bad days, even dark days, but the pressure to perform and produce does not go away on any day.”

“We fear failure in preaching because each Sunday we have an oral exam. We fear failure at home because our expectations are often unrealistic and unbiblical. We fear failure in private because our Boss is always watching us. We fear failure in public because our members are often watching us. We fear failure in front of our peers because we struggle with comparing and competing.”

“Pastors are not merely disciple-makers; we are disciples who need to be discipled and encouraged regularly, otherwise we will fall prey to our own fears.”

On Thursday, June 11 at 12 p.m. ET LifeWay President and CEO Ben Mandrell and The Emotionally Healthy Leader author Pete Scazzero will come together for “The Emotionally Healthy Pastor,” a free virtual event that will address emotional health issues and the current season that has taken a toll on many leaders. Register today.

Joy Allmond (@joyallmond) is managing editor of Facts & Trends.

Source: The Unmet Emotional Needs of Pastors

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The Only Satisfying Source of Security and Significance

Sean Cronin — Fri, 10 Apr 2020 09:00:14 +0000

The Only Satisfying Source of Security and Significance

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by Brandon Cox: Marriages often crumble because one spouse looks to the other to completely satisfy his or her innate need for significance and for security. It’s too great a burden for any fellow human being to bear. God, on the other hand, is fully capable of supplying both in full measure.

King David discovered this the hard way in his life and wrote about it:

LORD, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure.

~ Psalm 16:5 NIV

In other words, Lord, you are the full measure of everything I truly need and you are the only source of real, eternal security.

As long as you look for significance in anything other than a relationship with your Creator and Savior – like your career, your spouse, popularity or prestige – you’ll always feel the twinge of emptiness and hunger. But when you meet Jesus who is the Bread of Life, the Living Water, you meet the one who supplies your salvation, your gifts, and your calling.

And as long as you look for security in your bank or retirement account or the presumption that your health and financial well-being will never fail, you’ll always have a gap of insecurity. God, who is our shelter, provides true security that lasts forever.

Examine your life today and ask, Am I finding significance or security in anything other than my relationship with Jesus? And then declare in prayer, Lord, YOU are my portion and my cup; YOU make my lot secure!

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Source: The Only Satisfying Source of Security and Significance

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20 Steps to Children’s Ministry Safety for Your Church Plant

Patrick Bradley — Wed, 21 Nov 2018 10:00:26 +0000

by Patrick Bradley: Children’s ministry safety in your church plant is serious business. But it doesn’t have to be mysterious. Here are 20 practical steps to stellar children’s ministry safety:

No question, Jesus holds children in high regard. I’d say that churches in the US do, too, though we haven’t historically done the best collective job at protecting kids in our churches.

I pray that never happens in your church. To that end, here are some things you can do that aren’t terribly expensive (many are free) that can significantly reduce the chance that abuse will occur. It’s our job as church leaders to do everything we can to create safe environments for kids in our churches.

Children’s Ministry Safety for Your Workers

Staff and ministry workers are the first line of defense in keeping our kids safe. Make sure to get trusted people into those roles and get them trained:

Create a volunteer application form that includes a consent to run a background check – make sure every applicant fills it out & signs it
Run background checks for every adult that will be with the kids, and rerun background checks annually
Train volunteers in abuse awareness (your insurance company and/or background check provider can help with this)
Know whether your volunteers are mandatory reporters and train leaders in reporting procedures
Train volunteers in all of these security procedures
Do something to identify your children’s workers (ID badges, T-Shirts, etc.)
Get at least one person trained in first aid and have a basic first aid kit in the children’s area
Have a children’s ministry floater (or several) that can bounce between classrooms and generally be available to help

Children’s Ministry Safety for the Parents and Guardians

Parents should be in the loop and feel good about their child’s safety:

Create a brief handout that explains your children’s ministry practices & policies to parents – make this available at your check-in table especially for parents who bring their kids for the first time
Create a plan for giving new parents an escorted tour of the classroom their kid(s) will be in
Create a check-in and check-out process to make sure kids leave with the right adult(s) – also coach your classroom workers with a polite but firm script for when the process needs to be enforced
Work out a system to notify parents during the service – considering texting them since pretty much everyone has a mobile phone these days

Children’s Ministry Safety and Your Facility

Chances are good you’re meeting in a rented facility, which often presents unique security challenges:

Work out how to keep kids corralled in their “rooms”, especially if that’s a hallway or the flat area in front of the movie theater screen
Figure out how to secure any exits or potential hiding places from both unauthorized entry and from kids sneaking out – while not blocking fire escapes
Make a plan for keeping unauthorized adults out of the rooms (including parents) – again, coach your people with a polite but firm script
Decide ahead how you’re going to accommodate a kid needing to go potty – the classroom teacher shouldn’t be alone with the rest of the kids and the kid going potty shouldn’t be alone with an adult
Determine how to manage teacher-to-student ratios for different age levels – when is each classroom too full to take more kids and when is a classroom shut down for lack of supervision
Create an emergency/fire escape plan and train your teachers and workers in what to do

Children’s Ministry Safety for the Church

Should an incident occur, you need to have a plan in place for what to do:

Create reporting procedures for everything from kids needing a band-aid to kids going fisticuffs to alleged abuse
Know how to contact your church insurance carrier for help handling a crisis

Wow, that’s a whole lotta stuff to get in place for your church plant child security procedures! But when it saves one kid from being abused or helps one kid escape an abusive situation, it will be worth it. Don’t you think?

The post 20 Steps to Children’s Ministry Safety for Your Church Plant appeared first on Church Planting Tactics.

Source: 20 Steps to Children’s Ministry Safety for Your Church Plant

The post 20 Steps to Children’s Ministry Safety for Your Church Plant appeared first on Passion for Planting.