by Carey Nieuwhof: Few people have impacted Carey’s personal journey as much as Terry Wardle. That’s why it’s such a thrill to bring podcast listeners this interview.

Terry talks about why so many leaders cave under the pressure of leadership, what’s underneath the moral failure so many leaders experienced, and how to grieve the losses that come your way in leadership and ministry.

Welcome to Episode 309 of the podcast. Listen and access the show notes below or search for the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and listen for free.

Guest Links

Facebook | Website | Healing Care | Some Kind of Crazy

Episode Links

Financial Peace University

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Conversation Links

A Failure of Nerve by Edwin H. Friedman

Some Kind of Crazy by Terry Wardle

Hillbilly Elegy by J. D. Vance

Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott

The End of Memory by Miroslav Volf

Jesus and the Disinherited by Howard Thurman

Slingstones Podcast by Terry Wardle

Healing Care Mandate International

The High Impact Leader

3 Insights from Terry

1. Dysfunctional behavior is usually the symptom of a deeper problem

Terry is convinced that aberrant behavior is driven by deep wounds and false beliefs and ungrieved loss. When he looks back on his life, his depression, workaholism, and agoraphobia was never the problem, it was the symptom of a deeper problem of ungrieved losses from his past.

Eventually, Terry was able to work through the deeper issues of his past, and has since begun leading others through a similar healing journey. He works with people who have addictions, anger issues, deep depression, and many other struggles so that they can begin to attack the real wounds that are impacting them.

2. Ministry is a series of ungrieved losses

“Every loss in life demands an appropriate season of grieving, whether you’ve lost your favorite person or your favorite end.” Now, when Terry walks into a room of pastors, he can feel the ungrieved loss in that room. This breaks his heart and causes him to want to help more people.

When Terry first taught this in a seminar, someone grabbed him and said, “Say that quote again. Just say it again.” And he did. When he repeated the statement, the person started to cry because they realized when you experience a loss and just move on, rationalize it, or get onto the business of work, you cheat the grieving process.

3. It takes an emotional laden positive experience to overcome an emotional laden negative experience

Through his time of personal healing and counseling other leaders, Terry has learned that knowing scripture isn’t enough to get over the deep wounds and fears of our past. Terry has learned that it takes an emotional laden positive experience to overcome an emotional laden negative experience.

Just knowing the scripture, “Perfect love casts out fear,” does not cast out fear. It takes a very real experience with perfect love himself to cast out fear. This is what Terry encourages people to seek.

Quotes from Episode 309

Many people and leaders are not stable in their identity, and as a result, they use performance and achievement as a way of advancing themselves. – Terry WardleClick To Tweet

Workaholism in ministry is not a matter of theology, it’s a matter of pathology. And until we deal with that pathology, we’re not going to be the men and women that we are supposed to be. – Terry WardleClick To Tweet

There’s nothing that beats a person down more than trying to measure up. – Terry WardleClick To Tweet

While my gifting and anointing were such that there was advancement in my ministry, I was actually just crushed inside by not dealing with the brokenness of my past. – Terry WardleClick To Tweet

When you are basing your ministry on performance, your last performance isn’t good enough. It has to be the next performance. – Terry WardleClick To Tweet

People want to kill the pain of loss. – Terry WardleClick To Tweet

I am convinced that aberrant behavior is driven by deep wounds and false beliefs and ungrieved loss. – Terry WardleClick To Tweet

Loss is meant to be grieved. And when we fail to grieve losses, that loss internalizes. – Terry WardleClick To Tweet

If you have the fruit of dysfunction, you have the root of wounding. – Terry WardleClick To Tweet

Grieving loss begins with finding a safe environment with people that are non condemning, empathic, who are confidential and who finally give you the permission to say what’s inside and say it like it is. – Terry WardleClick To Tweet

Every wound in life, every loss in life, every false belief, needs confronted in the presence of Christ so we can be freed from those. – Terry WardleClick To Tweet

When Jesus was at his worst, God didn’t give him a scripture. He gave him an experience of his presence. – Terry WardleClick To Tweet

Change doesn’t happen because someone told you you need to change, change happens when you’re desperate enough to say, I must change. – Terry WardleClick To Tweet

I think many of us try to forgive before we grieve. – Terry WardleClick To Tweet

You got to grieve the losses that have come your way. And then if there’s someone to forgive after you’ve grieved it, you’ll have the strength to go ahead and forgive. – Terry WardleClick To Tweet

You’ll know when forgiveness is complete when the issue no longer comes to mind. – Miroslav VolfClick To Tweet

Read or Download the Transcript for Episode 309

Looking for a key quote? More of a reader?

Read or download a free PDF transcript of this episode here.

Watch Back Episodes of The Podcast on YouTube

Select episodes of this podcast are now on YouTube. Our new YouTube Channel gives you a chance to watch some episodes, not just listen. We’ll add select episodes to YouTube as time goes on.

Didn’t See It Coming Will Help You Solve the Problems Most Leaders Miss

If you want practical help overcoming some of the biggest challenges leaders face, my book Didn’t See It Coming: Overcoming the 7 Greatest Challenges That Nobody Expects and Everyone Experiences tackles the seven core issues that take people out: cynicism, compromise, disconnectedness, irrelevance, pride, burnout, and the emptiness of success and provides strategies on how to combat each.

I wrote the book because no 18 year old sets out to be cynical, jaded and disconnected by age 35. Yet it happens all the time.

The good news is, it doesn’t have to be that way.

Here’s what top leaders are saying about Didn’t See It Coming:

“Seriously, this may be the most important book you read this year.” Jud Wilhite, Lead Pastor, Central Church

“Powerful, personal, and highly readable. ” Brian Houston, Global Senior Pastor, Hillsong

“Whatever challenge you’re facing, whatever obstacle you’re hoping to overcome, whatever future you dream or imagine, there is something powerful for you here.” Andy Stanley, Founder, North Point Ministries

“Uncommonly perceptive and generous…You have to read this book.” Ann Voskamp, NYT bestselling author

“Masterful.” Reggie Joiner, CEO Orange

“Deep biblical insight, straightforward truth, and practical wisdom to help you grow.” Craig Groeschel, Pastor and NYT bestselling author

“This book is sure to help you.” Daniel H. Pink, NYT bestselling author

Over the years, one of the things I’ve enjoyed most about being a public speaker is having opportunities to hang out with Carey…It’s not a matter of if you’ll run into these challenges; it’s a matter of when. Be prepared by spending a little time with a leader who has already been there.” Jon Acuff, NYT best-selling author

“Nieuwhof’s book provides expert guidance…with an accuracy that pierces the heart.” Nancy Duarte, CEO Duarte Inc.

“A refreshingly transparent guide for all leaders in a wide variety of industries.” Bryan Miles, Co-Founder and CEO, BELAY

You can learn more and get your copy of Didn’t See It Coming here.

Subscribed Yet? 

Subscribe for free and never miss out on wisdom from world-class leaders like Brian Houston, Andy Stanley, Craig Groeschel, Nancy Duarte, Henry Cloud, Patrick Lencioni, Francis Chan, Ann Voskamp, Erwin McManus and many others.

Subscribe using your favorite podcast app via

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Google Play

Stitcher

TuneIn

Spread the Word. Leave a Rating and Review

Hopefully, this episode has helped you lead like never before. That’s my goal. If you appreciated it, could you share the love?

The best way to do that is to rate the podcast on Apple Podcasts and leave us a brief review! You can do the same on Stitcher and on TuneIn as well.

Your ratings and reviews help us place the podcast in front of new leaders and listeners. Your feedback also lets me know how I can better serve you.

Thank you for being so awesome.

Next Episode: Jasmine Star

Jasmine Star dropped out of law school, didn’t even own a camera, and within 4 years was one of top photographers in the world. These days as a strategist, entrepreneur and social media influencer, Jasmine talks about how to find and connect with your dream customer or audience, how focusing on who you want to reach drives growth, and how to protect your online message against the algorithm changes that happen all the time.

Subscribe for free now and you won’t miss Episode 310.

The post CNLP 309: Terry Wardle on Why So Many Leaders Cave Under the Pressures of Leadership, Why Leaders Implode Morally, and How to Grieve Your Leadership Losses appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: CNLP 309: Terry Wardle on Why So Many Leaders Cave Under the Pressures of Leadership, Why Leaders Implode Morally, and How to Grieve Your Leadership Losses

The post CNLP 309: Terry Wardle on Why So Many Leaders Cave Under the Pressures of Leadership, Why Leaders Implode Morally, and How to Grieve Your Leadership Losses appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Carey Nieuwhof: John Ortberg has a brand new podcast, What Were You Thinking? Today, we flip the mic, and John interviews Carey Nieuwhof about workaholism, how to be appropriately vulnerable about your story, and finding God when things get tough in life and leadership.

Welcome to Episode 307 of the podcast. Listen and access the show notes below or search for the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and listen for free.

Guest Links

Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | What Were You Thinking?

Episode Links

What if, in 40 days, you could grow your small groups in your church by 40%? Based on Pastor Zach Zehnder’s book, The Red Letter Challenge is a 40-day turnkey church campaign that centers around making more effective disciples of Jesus. Go to RedLetterChallenge.com/Carey to find church packages ready to go for you.

The High Impact Workplace

10 Million Podcast Downloads Giveaway

Managing Leadership Anxiety by Steve Cuss

Didn’t See It Coming by Carey Nieuwhof

The Genesee Diary by Henry Nouwen

3 Insights from John and Carey

1. Burnout is a factor for all driven people

Most leaders eventually hit a wall, whether it’s clinical burnout, their marriage falling apart, their relationship with their kids deteriorating, or realizing they simply need to delegate. Every driven leader gets there. When they hit this wall, they realize that a change needs to be made, but most have no clue what that change is.

Although it’s not the same for everyone, it is almost always tied to a lie that a leader believes. Carey has learned that he, as a leader, was believing that his performance defined his worth. This led to him trying to perform more and more until he hit his wall. Ever since, he has been intentional about living in a way today that will help him thrive tomorrow.

2. The senior leader sets the culture

Over many years of thinking and inspecting his own leadership, Carey has learned that unhealthy leaders create unhealthy cultures. He knows this because he used to be that unhealthy leader. Now, he has spent years changing how he views the purpose of work in his and his team’s lives.

He used to think that he uses people to get work done, and that led to an unhealthy culture. Now, he has realized that he is trying to use work to grow the people that work there. In a healthy culture, people are the goal, not the work.

3. The appropriate level of vulnerability to have from the stage is…

Carey has learned that the voice and position we communicate from makes a massive impact on whether the message is helpful or not. Many leaders naturally take a position where they are up on top of a mountain, and if you want access to them, you have to come sit at their feet. Carey has learned that this position doesn’t work. People admire your strengths but they resonate with your weaknesses.

So what voice does Carey use? He uses a voice that is “ in the field” with the reader. This voice is saying, “I know this is hard, I struggle too, but maybe making this change will help us.” When Carey uses this voice, he is much more engaged with his audience.

Quotes from Episode 307

Spiritual health is often a casualty of ministry and leadership. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

When you’re winning at church and losing at home, you’re losing. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

How do I live in a way today that will help me thrive tomorrow? @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

The office is something we used to go to, and now the office goes to us. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

By the time this race is over, I want the people closest to me to be the people who are most grateful for me. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

People are most tempted to quit moments before their critical breakthrough. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

The health of the organization is directly linked to the health of the senior leader. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

Unhealthy leaders create unhealthy cultures. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

Sometimes burnout is God’s will for your life because he wants to do a redirection. @johnortbergClick To Tweet

If God wants to go deep. It’s because he wants to take you far. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

You cannot over communicate. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

Read or Download the Transcript for Episode 307

Looking for a key quote? More of a reader?

Read or download a free PDF transcript of this episode here.

Watch Back Episodes of The Podcast on YouTube

Select episodes of this podcast are now on YouTube. Our new YouTube Channel gives you a chance to watch some episodes, not just listen. We’ll add select episodes to YouTube as time goes on.

INTRODUCING THE HIGH IMPACT WORKPLACE
(AND MY FREE COACHING GUIDE)

There’s a talent war going on for the best leaders, a generational divide at work, and, according to Gallup, 70% of all workers are disengaged at work (meaning that they show up and only do the bare minimum.)

Introducing The High Impact Workplace, a new online, on-demand course where I show you what’s changing in the workplace and how to respond. As a founder and senior leader myself, I’ll share a strategy that will help you engage even the best and most gifted young leaders at work.

In the course, I’ll give you the exact strategies you need to:

Attract and keep high capacity leaders who would otherwise start their own businesses.
Identify and leverage the currency that motivates young leaders.
Navigate flexible work arrangements that result in deeper productivity.
Master the 5 questions every great manager asks their team for deeper engagement.
Discover how to create workplace environments that multiple generations can thrive in.
Learn how to keep your company or organization relevant to the next generation of leaders.

The High Impact Workplace will give you the edge you need to create the best team you can moving forward in an age where 8-4 doesn’t work anymore (just ask any young leader about that).

Enrollment to the course is only open for a few days and only available now at this low price. So hurry!

To learn more or get access today to the High Impact Workplace, click here.

Subscribed Yet? 

Subscribe for free and never miss out on wisdom from world-class leaders like Brian Houston, Andy Stanley, Craig Groeschel, Nancy Duarte, Henry Cloud, Patrick Lencioni, Francis Chan, Ann Voskamp, Erwin McManus and many others.

Subscribe using your favorite podcast app via

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Google Play

Stitcher

TuneIn

Spread the Word. Leave a Rating and Review

Hopefully, this episode has helped you lead like never before. That’s my goal. If you appreciated it, could you share the love?

The best way to do that is to rate the podcast on Apple Podcasts and leave us a brief review! You can do the same on Stitcher and on TuneIn as well.

Your ratings and reviews help us place the podcast in front of new leaders and listeners. Your feedback also lets me know how I can better serve you.

Thank you for being so awesome.

Next Episode: Larry Osborne

Larry Osborne shares 4 decades of wisdom with leaders on everything from how to connect high capacity leaders, to what to do if you wanted to make a million dollars, to questions you should ask other leaders, to meeting dynamics on how to handle him. Carey spends almost the entire episode pitching some of his favorite Larry Osborne quotes back to Larry and having Larry expound on them. The results are fascinating.

Subscribe for free now and you won’t miss Episode 308.

The post CNLP 307: John Ortberg and Carey Nieuwhof on Workaholism, How to Be Appropriately Vulnerable, and Finding God When Things are Bad in Leadership appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: CNLP 307: John Ortberg and Carey Nieuwhof on Workaholism, How to Be Appropriately Vulnerable, and Finding God When Things are Bad in Leadership

The post CNLP 307: John Ortberg and Carey Nieuwhof on Workaholism, How to Be Appropriately Vulnerable, and Finding God When Things are Bad in Leadership appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Carey Nieuwhof: New York Times bestselling author, Max Lucado, talks about how he knew he didn’t have another ten years of senior leadership in him, why his passion has shifted, what causes happiness, and how to be happier.

Plus, Max shares some thoughts on the best and worst decisions he’s made over his decades in leadership.

Welcome to Episode 290 of the podcast. Listen and access the show notes below or search for the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and listen for free.

Guest Links

Max Lucado |  Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | How Happiness Happens

Episode Links

Need help with your church’s website and digital outreach? Check out Pro WebFire, and get a FREE custom website build for the plan you choose by using the discount code Carey2019. Act now before the offer expires at the end of this month.

Carey will be speaking at the Future Forward Conference this October 1st and 2nd. If you’re a church leader or member who is committed fully to engaging the next generation in a rapidly changing world, join us by signing up here today.

CNLP 221: Max Lucado On How He’s Written Over 120 Books, Why He Never Uses Ghostwriters, How to Stay Fresh in Leadership, And His Favorite Book

Vanderbloemen Resource Center

Ten Signs of a Leadership Crash by Stephen Mansfield

Research on the pursuit of happiness

Unshakable Hope by Max Lucado

3 Insights from Max

1.Your interests and callings might come only for a season

Many leaders hold onto their leadership positions for too long. Max and Carey both have come to the place where they needed to pass on their lead pastor role to the next generation of leaders. How did they know it was time to move on? Max described it as “when he dipped his ladle into his leadership bucket, all he heard was a scraping sound.” He just didn’t have anything left for it.

Max would also want to encourage you that just because you are called to something in one season, doesn’t mean you are called to that thing in all seasons of your life. How much of a tragedy would it be if you received all of your callings and giftings on the day of your conversion? It would make the rest of your life pretty boring. Your calling is for life but your assignment might change.

2. Advantages of staying in the same ministry for 31 years 

Max has been in a place of leadership at his church for 31 years, and he has been able to see a few advantages to staying in the same place for a long time. One of the biggest advantages is that preaching to the same people for so long has caused him to preach on many of the passages and topics that pastors never preach on. This has added value to him and his congregation.

Max also loves the fact that he has a very long-standing and well-respected legacy within his community that is not only paying off for him but is paying off for his wife and kids now, too. His church has invited two of his three daughters to speak, and the community of people in their church are quick to support him and his family.

3. Happiness happens in unexpected ways

The world seems to be getting less and less happy. While researching his next book, Max learned that only one in three people today report that they are happy. So where has our happiness gone? And more importantly, how do we get it back?

One thing Max realized while researching for his book was that we become happy, ourselves, when we are making other people happy. So, when we give away something that brings joy to someone else, we too are becoming more joyful. Another unexpected way that we can become more happy is by listening. If we look at the life of Jesus, we see that he was very intentional about listening to those who were hurting.

Quotes from Episode 290

I knew it was time to pass on my role when what used to energize me about our church started to drain me. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

It might actually be disobedient or wrong to hang on in a position to which you’re not called anymore. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

Happiness happens when we give it away. @MaxLucadoClick To Tweet

Everywhere I look, somebody’s trying to make me unhappy so that I’ll buy their product. @MaxLucadoClick To Tweet

Saying no to speaking or to travel is really a good yes to my wife. @MaxLucadoClick To Tweet

Read or Download the Transcript for Episode 290

Looking for a key quote? More of a reader?

Read or download a free PDF transcript of this episode here.

Watch Back Episodes of The Podcast on YouTube

Select episodes of this podcast are now on YouTube. Our new YouTube Channel gives you a chance to watch some episodes, not just listen. We’ll add select episodes to YouTube as time goes on.

Help Your Church Grow Without Compromising Biblical Integrity

Ready to start preaching better sermons and reach the unchurched without selling out? Then it’s time to start using the right tips, lessons, and strategies to communicating better.

The Art of Better Preaching Course is a 12 session video training with a comprehensive, interactive workbook that will help you create, write, and deliver better sermons. The course contains the lessons Mark Clark (lead pastor of  Village Church, a growing mega-church in post-Christian Vancouver) and I have learned, taught, and used over decades of being professional communicators.

This is the complete course you need to start preaching better sermons, including:

7 preaching myths it’s time to bust forever
The 5 keys to preaching sermons to unchurched people (that will keep them coming back)
How to discover the power in the text (and use it to drive your sermon)
The specific characteristics of sermons that reach people in today’s world
Why you need to ditch your sermon notes (and how to do it far more easily than you think.)
How to keep your heart and mind fresh over the long run

And far more! Plus you get an interactive workbook and some bonus resources that will help you write amazing messages week after week.

In the Art of Better Preaching, Mark and I share everything we’ve learned about communicating in a way that will help your church grow without compromising biblical integrity. We cover detailed training on everything from interacting with the biblical text to delivering a talk without using notes, to writing killer bottom lines that people will remember for years.

Check it out today and gain instant access.

Subscribed Yet? 

Subscribe for free and never miss out on wisdom from world-class leaders like Brian Houston, Andy Stanley, Craig Groeschel, Nancy Duarte, Henry Cloud, Patrick Lencioni, Francis Chan, Ann Voskamp, Erwin McManus and many others.

Subscribe using your favorite podcast app via

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Google Play

Stitcher

TuneIn

Spread the Word. Leave a Rating and Review

Hopefully, this episode has helped you lead like never before. That’s my goal. If you appreciated it, could you share the love?

The best way to do that is to rate the podcast on Apple Podcasts and leave us a brief review! You can do the same on Stitcher and on TuneIn as well.

Your ratings and reviews help us place the podcast in front of new leaders and listeners. Your feedback also lets me know how I can better serve you.

Thank you for being so awesome.

Next Episode: David Platt

There are so many deconversion stories away from Christianity these days. David Platt has seen some of the greatest suffering on earth and has again, recently, asked some of the toughest questions: In a universe governed by a good God, is hell really a place? Will so many people born into an earthly hell really end up in eternal hell? David shares how seeing profound suffering and asking those questions hasn’t led him away from faith but deeper into his faith. And, he shares what needs to change in Christianity is really going to impact the world.

Subscribe for free now and you won’t miss Episode 291.

The post CNLP 290: Max Lucado on What Causes Happiness, How to Be Happier, and How to Know When It’s Time to Leave Leadership appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: CNLP 290: Max Lucado on What Causes Happiness, How to Be Happier, and How to Know When It’s Time to Leave Leadership

The post CNLP 290: Max Lucado on What Causes Happiness, How to Be Happier, and How to Know When It’s Time to Leave Leadership appeared first on Passion for Planting.

Source: How to Have the Anointing of God on Your Life

The post How to Have the Anointing of God on Your Life appeared first on Passion for Planting.

By Dillon Smith. Dillon is content manager for Carey Nieuwhof Communications and is a member of the Speaking Team. You can book Dillon to speak at your next event here.

By Dillon Smith

Raising up new communicators can feel like navigating a minefield.

There is a tension that anyone trying to invest in the next generation of communicators feels. On one hand, you want them to get as many reps and opportunities to practice as possible. But on the other hand, you know that giving inexperienced communicators big opportunities can lead to catastrophic results.

Since there is a massive difference between messing up in front of a small group of 15 people and messing up on a major stage, you want to give new communicators as many small opportunities as you can.

But how do you know when a new communicator is ready to take on a major stage?

As I look back on my own development and the development of others, there are pivotal moments when simple lessons went a long way.

Click To Tweet

Here are 4 responses to my early sermons that I needed to hear before taking a major stage:

1. “You need to learn the rules before you can break the rules”

A mistake many young communicators make is trying to preach with style before they preach with discipline.

I have done this numerous times.

Early on in my preaching career, I thought that as long as my preaching style was great, the audience would love it.

Do you want to know what happened? No matter how many times I tried to preach with intensity, the audience never responded the way I expected.

It confused me.

I never understood how I could be so excited about a message and the audience could look so lost at the same time.

This happened because I didn’t know the rules for effective public speaking and as a result, my “style” broke all the wrong rules at all the wrong times.

I saw what other great communicators did and copied it, but I didn’t understand the “why” behind it.

If you see what great communicators do, you can imitate it. But if you understand the “why” behind their “what,” you can begin to innovate with your own communication style.

If you see what great communicators do, you can imitate it. But if you understand the “why” behind their “what,” you can begin to innovate with your own communication style. Click To Tweet

The only way I began understanding the “why” was a mentor making me apply discipline before I applied style.

How did he do this?

He created a list of things that a communicator needs to think about every time they speak.

Then, he made write and deliver multiple sermons to him or a very small audience. After that, he would meticulously grade me on every single thing on that list.

If you are looking to teach your young leaders (or yourself) to be a better communicator, try working on your speaking disciplines, not style.

Here is a sample of the list I had to follow for every talk I gave:

Define the purpose of every talk, and every point within the talk.
Every talk needs to be between 2 and 5 points that are pointing towards one main purpose.
Write ALL of your main points before your sub-points, ALL of your sub-points before your sub-sub-point, etc…
Hook the ENTIRE audience with every opening line.
Build credibility with your audience every time you speak.
Every point, sub-point, and sub-sub-point must be exactly one sentence. No more, no less.
Have a specific purpose behind every story/illustration.
End every sermon with fireworks. [This is usually metaphorical. ;)]

The list was longer, but I wanted to give you an idea of just how strict your standards should be while training.

As I did this for multiple talks, I began to understand how each rule works together, and when and why it’s appropriate to break the general rules of public speaking. I began innovating.

Today, every single one of those disciplines has a clear, logical explanation of why I am or am not doing it for every talk I give.

Young speakers need to learn the rules to break the rules, and someone has to teach them.

If a young speaker doesn’t understand the rules of public speaking, they are not ready to take a major stage.

Young speakers need to learn the rules to break the rules, and someone has to teach them. Click To Tweet

2. “Your ability to think needs to exceed your ability to speak”

The person on stage needs to have a deep understanding of whatever they are going to talk about. If they aren’t, why should anyone listen to them?

So how do you know if a young leader has a deep understanding of what he is expected to talk about?

A general rule I follow is this:

If someone can’t converse about a topic at a high level, they won’t be able to speak about a topic at a high level.

If someone can’t converse about a topic at a high level, they won’t be able to speak about a topic at a high level. Click To Tweet

So if you can’t have a serious, engaging conversation about the topic with them, they aren’t ready to preach on that topic.

So how do you fix this?

You have deep conversations about the topic with them months before they are set to preach on it.

Give them books to read, podcasts to listen to, and experts in the field to learn from.

After they have done their research, sit down, ask hard questions, and wait for them to come up with good answers.

These will be some of the most formative conversations a young leader can go through. You are teaching them how to learn, think, and articulate their thoughts clearly.

This will take a lot of time, but the young leader that comes out on the other side will be worth the effort.

When you can have deep, engaging conversations about the topic with that leader, they are ready to take a major stage.

3. “That was rough, but you’re just beginning”

That sounds harsh, and maybe it is, but here’s the reality:

Everyone who speaks from stage will deliver a terrible talk. The real tragedy is that not everyone will learn from those terrible talks.

Everyone who speaks from a stage will deliver a terrible talk. The real tragedy is that not everyone will learn from those terrible talks.Click To Tweet

The best thing an influential leader in the audience can do is pull that communicator aside a couple of days later and say:

“Hey, I think you have a ton of potential as a communicator, but I think you could have done better. How do you think you can improve?”

This conversation is key.

Applied honest feedback is what separates the mediocre communicators from great communicators.

Applied honest feedback is what separates the mediocre communicators from great communicators. Click To Tweet

This conversation will be painful, but in the long run, that pain is good.

When young leaders feel the pain of failing on stage, we become motivated to do everything they can to never fail like that again.

You have to let us learn from failure on a small platform, so we don’t fail on a major platform.

When young leaders feel the pain of failing on stage, they become motivated to do everything they can to never fail like that again.Click To Tweet

4. “Do you think you could be called to this?”

The journey to becoming a public speaker can be pretty discouraging.

Not only are you signing up to do something that most people are more afraid of than dying, but almost nobody is good at public speaking the first few times they speak.

So young communicators are:

Terrified out of their minds.
Have a long way to grow.
Able to choose to do anything else in the world besides public speaking.

So why do they stick around?

Usually, there is someone in their corner cheering them on and mentioning that they might be called to be a preacher or motivational speaker.

Someone sees potential in them and asks, “Do you think you could be called to this?”

So how do you know if you need to have this conversation?

I see 2 major indicators:

Passion – Do they deeply care about what they speak on?
Character – Are they someone worth following?

Notice what isn’t on the list:

Competency – Are they already good at public speaking?

Just because a young leader isn’t good at communicating now, doesn’t mean they never will be.

Just because a young leader isn’t good at communicating now, doesn’t mean they never will be. Click To Tweet

Early on, natural gifting to communicate is a “nice to have” but not a “need to have” for potential public speakers.

But they’ll never learn to speak if nobody ever encourages them to try.

The most important asset a young communicator has is a leader cheering them on.

If you are an older leader and see a young leader who is passionate and has good character, consider challenging them to be a voice for what they are passionate about. Their voice is needed.

The most important asset a young communicator has is a leader cheering them on. Click To Tweet

Want A Complete Guide to Preaching and Speaking?

When it comes to communication and preaching, there are a lot of ways to go wrong that you usually don’t expect.

Ever wish someone could come alongside you to walk you through the finer points of the art of better preaching?

That’s exactly what my good friend Mark Clark and I do in our course, The Art of Better Preaching. We’ve even got a full unit on how to leave your notes behind the next time you give a talk.

Every week, Mark and I preach to thousands of churched and unchurched people, Mark at Village Church in Vancouver BC, and me at Connexus Church north of Toronto. We have very different styles, which means this course is not a preach-just-like-me approach to preaching.

You can customize it to help you preach better messages, and it draws from the rich tradition of different approaches that actually connect with unchurched people. Plus, we share our best secrets on how to craft the best messages we know how to create.

In the course, Mark and I cover:

The Why and How of Preaching
How to Preach to the Unchurched
How to Give a Talk Without Using Notes
How to Craft a Killer Bottom Line So People Remember Your Talk Years Later
How to Stay Fresh over the Long Haul

And much more.

The price of the course is going up soon.

You can get access here!

How Do You Develop Communicators?

What methods/practices do you use to develop leaders in your organization?

Leave a comment below!

The post 4 Lessons New Communicators Need To Learn Before Taking a Major Stage appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: 4 Lessons New Communicators Need To Learn Before Taking a Major Stage

The post 4 Lessons New Communicators Need To Learn Before Taking a Major Stage appeared first on Passion for Planting.

Thanks for listening to this week’s unSeminary podcast. This week we have Judy West chatting with us. She is the Pastor of Leadership Development at The Crossing in St. Louis.

The Crossing has four locations in St. Louis and can also be experienced online. Judy is with us today to talk about the class the church created to help followers of Christ become more emotionally healthy as part of their leadership development.

Solve conflicts with Jesus. // A church is filled with broken people and we as our lives bump against one another, friction occurs. Judy and the staff at The Crossing wanted to figure out how to teach people to bump with each other well. Part of this exploration meant asking questions such as, how do you solve conflicts the way Jesus teaches? How do you set appropriate boundaries?Body Life, a 5 week class. // In response, the team developed a five week class called Body Life. The basic premise of the class is based on a prayer by Jesus in John 17 in which He asks that the people He leaves behind are one, just as He is one with God.How to focus and forgive. // In week 1, the focus is on painting that picture of oneness as seen in John 17. The second week is teaching how to be one even though everyone is different from each other. Week 2 also touches on spiritual gifts. We can be one but we are all different, and so week 3 teaches how to set boundaries. Week 4 teaches what to do when bumps with each other occur. This week includes conflict night, in which the participants role play resolving conflict with each other. And then week 5 is focused on how to forgive one another when these bumps occur. Teach how to deal with conflict. // The class teaches everyone that you don’t have to be afraid of conflict. After the teaching, the people then talk with everyone about what happened inside, were they nervous or scared, and why. They talk about family origins while growing up and how conflict was dealt with. The class then goes on teaching how to deal with conflict through the steps of Matthew 18. First discuss the problem in private and what the issue is before approaching the solution.Skills and words in confrontation. // People often have trouble discussing problems with others. The class provides participants with words and sentences to use in confrontations. Participants learn to ask permission to question issues and to push back on the other person, clarifying the things that have been said. Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired. // In approaching the confrontation, stick to the teaching of HALT. Don’t approach someone to question them if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. Take care of those issues first, then walk into the Matthew 18 way of having a conversation in a humble way.

You can learn more about The Crossing at their church thecrossing.church and grab Lead Pastor Greg Holder’s book, The Genius of One: God’s Answer for Our Fractured World right here. Judy also helps oversee an executive pastor group for women with the Women Executive Pastors at wxpastors.com.

Thank You for Tuning In!

There are a lot of podcasts you could be tuning into today, but you chose unSeminary, and I’m grateful for that. If you enjoyed today’s show, please share it by using the social media buttons you see at the left hand side of this page. Also, kindly consider taking the 60-seconds it takes to leave an honest review and rating for the podcast on iTunes, they’re extremely helpful when it comes to the ranking of the show and you can bet that I read every single one of them personally!

Lastly, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, to get automatic updates every time a new episode goes live!

Source: Inside a Scalable Solution to Increasing Quality Relationships in Your Church with Judy West

The post Inside a Scalable Solution to Increasing Quality Relationships in Your Church with Judy West appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Carey Nieuwhof: Let’s face it, you’d love to have ideal conditions to lead in. Who wouldn’t?

And while, ideally:

Your team would be perfectly motivated to achieve the mission

No good team member would ever leave

You’d be inspired to write every day

The people you’re trying to reach would be open and receptive

You’d introduce change without any fear or pushback

All your ideas would be great ideas

Life isn’t like that. At all.

And yet it’s easy to get into a place where you’re hesitant to act, constantly frustrated and thinking of quitting because things never seem like they’re as easy as they should be.

Yet here’s what’s true: if you waiting for perfect conditions to act in leadership, you’ll wait forever.

If you’re waiting for perfect conditions to act in leadership, you’ll wait forever.Click To Tweet

There Will Never Be…

There will never be

A surplus of amazing team members

Quite enough money

Thunderous applause every time you introduce a new idea

An absence of doubt when it’s time to pull the trigger

I feel this again and again. Whether it’s writing this blog (every post could be better), launching a new podcast episode (what am I missing that could make it better) or writing a book (I don’t know if this chapter measures up),  writing a sermon (this one isn’t as good as the last one) or hiring a team member (are we now over-staffed, understaffed???) conditions never seem ideal.

I have that even with cycling. I’m trying to hit a goal of 3500 km this year (about 2000 miles), and every day I think of going it’s a little too windy/cold/wet/hot/busy for me to hit the road.

You know the best way to hit a goal of 3500 km? Ride whether you want to or not.

Ditto with leadership. Lead whether you feel like it or not. Whether things are perfect or not.

Leaders have a bias for action and nothing produces traction like action.

The question is: how do you get there? What do you do if you’re still not sure conditions are right to act?

Here are a few things that continue to help me push through the inertia of life and leadership.

Leaders have a bias for action. Nothing produces traction like action.Click To Tweet

1. Focus on what you can control, not on what you can’t

It is so easy to focus on what you can’t control in leadership.

If you let your mind go there, there’s so much you can’t control. Here’s a very partial list of the things you can’t control:

Other people

The market,

Your team

The economy

The weather

Other people’s reactions

Your boss

Time

Other people’s actions

Honestly, the list could go on and on.

Here’s what you can control: you.

You can control your indecision, your willingness to act through fear, your response, your attitude, your determination, your willingness to try when everything else inside you wants to give up.

So many people focus on what they can’t control. Leaders focus on what they can control. Even if that’s a small list, think about what you can do, not what you can’t, and you’ll make far more progress.

You’ll also enjoy this life and leadership far more.

Focus on what you can control, not on what you can’t. Click To Tweet

2. Don’t Lie About How Bad It Is.  Then Act Anyway.

One of the leader’s first jobs is, as Jim Collins says, to confront the brutal facts.

I have seen way too many leaders publicly say their organization is growing when in fact it’s flat, or who pretend they’re financially healthy when they’re not.

Listen, I feel all those urges to spin, manipulate and pretend it’s better than it is. Don’t.

Leaders are dealers in hope, but we’re not dealers in deception.

An inferior (and unethical) way to lead is to tell people everything’s better than it is. “Everything’s fine. We’re doing great. I’m excited for the future.” Your best leaders can sense when there’s a gap between reality and your words. And they hate spin.

A much better way is to say “So we can see this is not our finest hour. We have our challenges. But I’m ready to move forward. We can make this far better than it is. If we all pull together, we’ll shape a much better future. Who’s ready to go?”

Be honest with yourself. Honest with God. Honest with your team.

A realistic assessment of the present creates the best basis from which to forge a better future.

A realistic assessment of the present creates the best basis from which to forge a better future.Click To Tweet

3. Focus on What You Can Do, Not On What You Can’t

This sounds like a repeat of the first point, it’s not.

You and I have both been in situations where there are 10 things we can’t do because we don’t have the money, time, or resources. It’s hard in that moment not just to call it a day.

Wise leaders look for the one or two things they can do. Then they do them.

When things are really down, ask yourself: what is the one thing I can do? There’s always something.

Then do it.

Maybe you can

Pick up the phone one more time.

Meet with the one capable lead who said she’s in.

Build your strategic plan around the one idea that survived

If you spend your days thinking about what you can’t do, you’ll do nothing.

If instead, you look for what’s possible, you’re far more likely to turn what’s possible into what’s probable. And maybe, just maybe, what’s possible will one day look like it was inevitable.

There are so many things today that seem inevitable that two decades ago seemed so unlikely: that people would share their cars (Uber, Lyft, Turo) or homes (Airbnb), or that photo sharing would replace photo printing as the primary way pictures are consumed (Instagram), or that people would have a seemingly endless capacity for creating and watching user-made videos (YouTube, Vimeo).

If you listen to the origin stories of many of these companies, most almost failed before they succeeded. But they kept focusing on what they could do, not on what they couldn’t.

Think about it.

There’s always a church planter (or transitioner) who has a thriving congregation in a city where churches don’t grow.

In every city there are retailers who have burgeoning businesses even as most other retail dies.

Leaders…focus on what you can do, not on what you can’t.

Leaders…focus on what you can do, not on what you can’t. Click To Tweet

4. Ditch Your Excuses

Underneath all of this is our tendency to make excuses.

There are always reasons not to do something. It usually is too cold/wet/hot/dry/tenuous/uncertain/fragile/unclear to do what you have in your heart to do.

But great lives are never built on excuses. Right now, your excuses seem quite compelling to you. But fast forward twenty years and tell your future self and everyone else why you didn’t act, why you didn’t do what you knew you were supposed to do. In the future, your excuses won’t sound compelling. They’ll actually sound sad.

Beside, excuses are the enemy of progress. You can make excuses, or you can make progress, but you can’t make both.

So what are you going to do?

Make excuses?

Or make progress.

Excuses are the enemy of progress. You can make excuses, or you can make progress, but you can’t make both. Click To Tweet

Get Over Yourself (And Find a Renewed You)

Find posts like this overwhelming because it leaves you wondering how on earth you’ll find time to do any of this?

When will you find time to push through the inertia and really dig into the problems you face? To take care of yourself in the process? And to forge a new future.

Let me help.

My approach to life and leadership changed radically for me over ten years ago when I figured out how to get time, energy and priorities working in my favour.

I’d love to help you free up hours each day to do the same thing. And I’ve helped over 5000 leaders do just that.

If you’re trying to find the time for what matters most in life, my High Impact Leader course, is my online, on-demand course designed to help you get time, energy and priorities working in your favour.

Many leaders who have taken it are recovering 3 productive hours a day.  That’s about 1000 hours of found time each year. That’s a lot of time for what matters most.

Here are what some alumni are saying about The High Impact Leader Course”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you for providing the course again. It has absolutely made an impact in my life and family already that I can’t even describe.” – Joel Rowland, Clayton County, North Carolina

“Just wow.  Thank you, thank you.” Dave Campbell,  Sioux Falls South Dakota

“A game changer.” Pam Perkins,  Colorado Springs, Colorado

Curious? Want to beat overwhelm and have the time to reflect, rest and reinvent yourself?

Click here to learn more or get instant access.

What Helps You Lead?

The bottom line moving into the future?

Leaders who learn to launch in imperfect conditions will always have something to lead. Leaders who don’t, won’t.

Leaders who learn to launch in imperfect conditions will always have something to lead. Leaders who don’t, won’t.Click To Tweet

What helps you lead when conditions are imperfect?

Scroll down and leave a comment!

The post How to Lead Through Imperfect Conditions appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: How to Lead Through Imperfect Conditions

The post How to Lead Through Imperfect Conditions appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Carey Nieuwhof: How do you become a sought-after public speaker when you never planned on becoming one? That’s a question Jenni Catron, who’s now a full time consultant and public speaker, had to figure out. She started at age 20 at a record label and soon discovered pitching to people much older than her was part of her job. Promoted quickly, Jenni eventually went on to become the Executive Pastor of two well known mega-churches where, again, she discovered that communicating well was a key to success.

In her latest incarnation, Jenni has become a full time consultant, writer and public speaker. Carey and Jenni share pro tips about what makes for a great talk and introduce something brand new: the Nieuwhof Speaking Team, a curated group of leadership experts and fresh voices that will help you make your next event a success.

Welcome to Episode 270 of the podcast. Listen and access the show notes below or search for the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and listen for free.

Guest Links

Jenni Catron | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | The 4Sight Group

The Four Dimensions of Extraordinary Leadership

Clout: Discover and Unleash Your God-Given Influence

Three Keys for Developing a Thriving Team – Free workbook

CNLP 025: The Changes You Need to Make as Your Church Grows – an Interview with Jenni Catron

CNLP 071: Jenni Catron on Becoming an Extraordinary Leader

Episode Links

Introducing the Nieuwhof Speaking Team comprised of top leaders to bring dynamic insight, clarity and wisdom to your next gathering.

For years, Carey has spoken to leaders around the world about leadership, change and personal growth.  Today, we’re introducing a team of communicators who can bring just what you need to help your next event or conference be a complete success.

The Nieuwhof Speaking Team line up is:

Jenni Catron

Jeff Henderson

Rich Birch

Brad Lomenick

Toni Nieuwhof

Dillon Smith

Took learn more or book a speaking team member for your event, click here.

And…what are you doing about social media, video and graphics for your online presence?

Pro Media Fire has the media solution that’s right for your church at promediafire.com/carey. Podcast listeners receive 10% off for life.

3 Insights from Jenni

1. Leaders have the opportunity to offer the gift of belief

Leaders notice the talents that are hiding in the people around them and that insight, that belief, offers quite a gift. The gift of belief sees the potential in others and calls them out by finding opportunities for those people to grow (sometimes even before they’ve even been able to prove themselves worthy of the task). And the best part? The gift of belief can light a fire inside someone and completely change the trajectory of a career.

2. People don’t hear your bullet points until they connect with you

Connecting to an audience, large or small, is crucial to getting a message to stick, but often speakers focus more on content over connection when preparing a talk.

Don’t be so concerned about getting all the bullet points checked off your list. Instead, move that energy toward figuring out how you can connect with the people in the room, because that is what opens up the door to sharing your content and being heard.

3. Create a dwelling space in your talks

Great communicators never seem like they’re in a hurry. They posses a sense of pacing that seems to work effortlessly. But for most speakers, even the naturally gifted speakers, that approach is usually intentional, planned and practiced routinely.

As you’re preparing and writing out your talks, leave time for that space. Offering time for listeners to dwell or linger on the story or the concept you have to tell opens up a place for them to make a better connection with what you have to say.

Quotes from Episode 270

Wherever you’re communicating, you’re leading and leadership is influence…You have the power to change or affect the lives of the people sitting in that room. @jennicatronClick To Tweet

One of my mantras is to slow down to see people, because in everything I do I can just move too fast. @jennicatronClick To Tweet

Imitation kills innovation. Be careful, because you’re only able to innovate when you really live within the gifting, the framework, the personality that God has given you. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

My greatest fear in speaking is that I’m not going to have enough content to fill the time, but the reality is if you’re done early, there’s not a single person in the world who’s upset that you finished early. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

If leaders see somebody’s potential and call that out, that gift of belief will cause them to rise to the occasion. @jennicatronClick To Tweet

Read or Download the Transcript for Episode 270

Looking for a key quote? More of a reader?

Read or download a free PDF transcript of this episode here.

Watch the Podcast on YouTube

Select episodes of this podcast are now on YouTube. Our new YouTube Channel gives you a chance to watch some episodes, not just listen. We’ll add select episodes to YouTube as time goes on.

Want to become a better communicator?

Ready to start preaching better sermons and reach the unchurched without selling out? Then it’s time to start using the right tips, lessons, and strategies to communicating better.

The Art of Better Preaching Course is a 12 session video training with a comprehensive, interactive workbook that will help you create, write, and deliver better sermons. The course contains the lessons Mark Clark (lead pastor of  Village Church, a growing mega-church in post-Christian Vancouver) and I have learned, taught, and used over decades of being professional communicators.

This is the complete course you need to start preaching better sermons, including:

7 preaching myths it’s time to bust forever
The 5 keys to preaching sermons to unchurched people (that will keep them coming back)
How to discover the power in the text (and use it to drive your sermon)
The specific characteristics of sermons that reach people in today’s world
Why you need to ditch your sermon notes (and how to do it far more easily than you think.)
How to keep your heart and mind fresh over the long run

And far more! Plus you get an interactive workbook and some bonus resources that will help you write amazing messages week after week.

In the Art of Better Preaching, Mark and I share everything we’ve learned about communicating in a way that will help your church grow without compromising biblical integrity. We cover detailed training on everything from interacting with the biblical text to delivering a talk without using notes, to writing killer bottom lines that people will remember for years.

Check it out today and gain instant access.

Subscribed Yet? 

Subscribe for free and never miss out on wisdom from world-class leaders like Brian Houston, Andy Stanley, Craig Groeschel, Nancy Duarte, Henry Cloud, Patrick Lencioni, Francis Chan, Ann Voskamp, Erwin McManus and many others.

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Spread the Word. Leave a Rating and Review

Hopefully, this episode has helped you lead like never before. That’s my goal. If you appreciated it, could you share the love?

The best way to do that is to rate the podcast on Apple Podcasts and leave us a brief review! You can do the same on Stitcher and on TuneIn as well.

Your ratings and reviews help us place the podcast in front of new leaders and listeners. Your feedback also lets me know how I can better serve you.

Thank you for being so awesome.

Next Episode: Ken Coleman 

Ken Coleman has interviewed world-class leaders in politics, sports, business and leadership for years. He deconstructs his approach and shares how to get the very best out of people, how to get people to share at a deep level and how to network and build your career without becoming a social climber.

Subscribe for free now and you won’t miss Episode 271.

The post CNLP 270: Jenni Catron On How to Become a Good Public Speaker When You Never Planned To Become One, Pro Tips for Every Communicator, Why Communication Matters Even If You Never Give a Formal Talk appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: CNLP 270: Jenni Catron On How to Become a Good Public Speaker When You Never Planned To Become One, Pro Tips for Every Communicator, Why Communication Matters Even If You Never Give a Formal Talk

The post CNLP 270: Jenni Catron On How to Become a Good Public Speaker When You Never Planned To Become One, Pro Tips for Every Communicator, Why Communication Matters Even If You Never Give a Formal Talk appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Carey Nieuwhof: Leadership is a journey…a journey that’s probably different than you thought it would be before you stepped into leadership.

When I was young, I always thought top leaders had it all figured out. That the uncertainty would one day disappear once I had more life and leadership under my belt.

But as you eventually learn, it doesn’t really work that way.

In fact, I think most leaders struggle more than they let on. I know personally, at one point or another, I’ve struggled in each of the areas listed below. But, at the time, because I didn’t want to tell anyone how I really felt, I kept mostly quiet.

Looking back, I realize for too long I kept far too much of it to myself.

You know what keeping it to yourself does, right?

It leaves you isolated. And the silence gives fear power—power it should never have.

Just to let you know you’re not alone, and to break the power of darkness by cracking some daylight, here are 12 secrets most leaders won’t tell you.

Silence gives fear power. Power it should never have.Click To Tweet

1. I’m less secure than I appear

For most leaders, the together exterior doesn’t always match the fragile interior.

Security is a journey for sure…a tough one. Most people don’t like insecure leaders. But insecurity is a trap…the more insecure you are, the more you resist telling anyone you’re insecure. And the more they dislike you.

If it helps, I outline 5 signs you’re an insecure leader in this post, and 5 ways to become a more secure leader here.

I think the best way to start dealing with your insecurity is to admit it, and deal with it.

A counsellors’ offices and a safe friend are great places to start with that by the way. So is prayer.

For most leaders, the together exterior doesn’t always match the fragile interior.Click To Tweet

2. I secretly worry I’m failing

Leadership is complex and involves going through seasons of unpopularity.

It also involves making tough calls that can make you feel like you’re failing. Add to that challenges at home and unresolved issues from the past, and it can get crushing at times.

The negative voices in you head can get loud, and while people online debate who’s the G.O.A.T, you secretly feel like you’re simply the goat.

3. I’m lonelier than I let on

Isolation is a problem throughout our culture these days.

Strangely, technology has made us more connected than we’ve ever been before, yet we’ve never felt more alone.

But leadership adds a new dimension. Because leaders deal with challenges others don’t naturally understand, it gets even more lonely.

Add to that the fact that most of us who are driven type leaders don’t do relationships easily, and sometimes it’s lonelier than it needs to be.

Strangely, technology has made us more connected than we’ve ever been before, yet we’ve never felt more alone. Click To Tweet

4. It’s hard at home sometimes

Instagram lies. It’s not always easy at home.

It’s gotten better over the years, but there have been seasons in my leadership where my family got too much of my unfiltered stress. Not fair. Not fair at all. But true.

Home is hard. Work is hard. Put the two together in an ill-thought through combination and it can be lethal.

I really believe that, in the long run, everything rides on how you lead at home.

Instagram lies. It’s not always easy at home.Click To Tweet

5. The criticism hurts

We pretend the criticism doesn’t hurt, but it does, whether we admit it or not.

We put our poker faces on, but deep down it stings.

There are ways to handle criticism like a pro, not a toddler. Acknowledging it hurts is a great first step.

6. I’m afraid to ask for what I really want

I’ve usually been pretty forward in my leadership and I’m grateful for an incredibly honest dialogue I have with my team where I serve.

But there are seasons where I’ve been afraid to ask for what I really want. And even as I type those words I think “That sounds so selfish.”

But sometimes you just need a vacation. Or, especially when your family is young and you’re just starting out, you need a raise. Or you need more staff.

Or you need someone to have your back. Or you need a friend. Or you need a decision to go your way.

You’re just afraid to ask.

You know what I’ve found? Almost every time I’ve asked, someone said “Why didn’t you ask sooner? We’d love to help.”

See what secrets and silence do?

Solitude is a gift from God. Isolation is a tool of the enemy.

Solitude is a gift from God. Isolation is a tool of the enemy.Click To Tweet

7. I’ve thought about leaving even though I’m staying

You’ve thought about leaving, even though you’re staying…true? Of course it’s true, unless you just started last Tuesday, and even then…

Everyone goes through seasons of doubt and questions about the future.

But when you sit in silence with this one for too long, you end up waffling. Not staying, but not leaving either. You end up putting in half an effort, and you’re half the leader you could be.

Not sure if you should go? Here are 7 signs it’s time to leave.

8. I have a secret job

One of the reasons leadership is hard is because you deal with so many intangibles. It’s brain work. People management. Conflict management. Getting people to do things they wouldn’t ordinarily do.

On bad days, many leaders I know dream of doing something entirely different. For a season, my escape job was to stack boxes in a warehouse. Because at least if you moved a box, it stayed moved.

9. Sometimes I dream of escaping

In my unhealthy seasons in leadership, I’d dream of escaping. Not only would I stack boxes in a warehouse for a living, I’d do just about anything except what I’m doing.

If that thought lingers for more than a season, you either need to get healthier and stay in the job you’re doing, or if you are healthy, it may simply be a sign it’s time to find a new job.

10. I feel like I don’t really know what I’m doing

Eventually you reach a level of leadership, either because you’ve been at it long enough or because whatever you’re leading got big enough, that you realize there are no clear answers. There just aren’t.

You surrounded yourself with the smartest people you could and you realize that even the smart people don’t know what to do.

That’s where real leadership begins—when you feel like you don’t really know what you’re doing, but you keep doing anyway.

That’s how history gets changed. You were just the last person standing, even though inside it felt like sheer confusion.

You know you’re leading at a high level when even the smart people don’t know what to do.Click To Tweet

11. People seem to believe in me more than I believe in myself some days

When you’ve been through #9 enough times, you will be ready to give up believing in yourself. But you look around and realize other people keep believing in you.

That’s exactly what you need. You’re likely leading very well if enough of the good people keep believing in you.

So when you stop believing in you, keep believing in the people who believe in you.

So when you stop believing in you, keep believing in the people who believe in you.Click To Tweet

12. I thought we would have made more progress by now

You don’t want to say it out loud, but you really do think you would have made more progress by now.

You look at all the overnight successes and think “How come that wasn’t me?” This only works, of course, until you look more closely at the overnight successes only to realize almost all of them were 5-15 years in the making.

The fact that your vision is bigger than your reality is paradoxically a sign that you’re a good leader.

So keep being mildly disappointed, because it will always spur you on to more.

I was talking recently to someone who became an ‘overnight’ TV star. When I really drilled down on his story, it went back to VHS tapes in the early nineties. No one knows that part of the story, but again, a lot of the time when people think someone just emerged overnight, it’s only because that leader has been working harder for years, sometimes decade.

The part about overnight success no one really understands is that it’s usually a very long night.

So keep working.

And one day when it’s over you’ll look back and be amazed at how much you actually accomplished.

The part about overnight success no one really understands is that it’s usually a very long night.Click To Tweet

How To Stay In It For the Long Haul

All of the things I share above got me into an unhealthy place years ago in leadership. They led me to burnout.

It’s been over a decade since I burned out, and since then, I’ve learned how to live in a much healthier way. And while we all have bad days (I do too), the changes I’ve experienced in organizing my time, energy and priorities differently is monumental.

I’d love to help you get into a much better place in life and leadership.

That’s what my High Impact Leader Course is all about.

The High Impact Leader course, is an online, on-demand course designed to help you get time, energy and priorities working in your favour.

Here are what some alumni are saying about The High Impact Leader Course”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you for providing the course again. It has absolutely made an impact in my life and family already that I can’t even describe.” – First Priority, Clayton County, North Carolina

“A lot of books and programs make big promises and cannot deliver but this is not one of them. I have read so many books and watched videos on productivity but the way you approach it and teach is helpful and has changed my work week in ministry in amazing ways.” Chris Sloan, Tanglewood Church, Kingston, North Carolina

“Just wow.  Thank you, thank you.” Dave Campbell, Invitation Church, Sioux Falls South Dakota

Curious? Want to beat overwhelm, discouragement and frustration in leadership and have the time to reinvent yourself?

Click here to learn more or get instant access.

What Are Your Secrets?

What thoughts do you have that you have a hard time admitting to anyone else?

I’d love to hear them.

And what’s yours experience with these 11?

Scroll down and leave a comment!

The post 12 Secrets Most Leaders Won’t Tell You appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: 12 Secrets Most Leaders Won’t Tell You

The post 12 Secrets Most Leaders Won’t Tell You appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Cary Nieuwhof: The last thing you want as a leader is to have your best days behind you.

But it happens all the time, long before a leader steps out of leadership.

The questions are how does it happen…and, more importantly, what can you do about it?

Sadly, you can’t launch into leadership at age 25 and simply expect to produce your best work, non-stop for the next half century. It rarely if ever works that way.

It’s a very real thing for leaders to run out of fresh strategy, new approaches, innovations and best ideas long before their time in leadership is over.Click To Tweet

In fact, it’s a very real thing for leaders to run out of fresh strategy, new approaches, innovations and best ideas long before their time in leadership is over.

I have a theory…and its only a theory. I call it the theory of the ten year run.

What does that mean? Well, here’s what I’m noticing, both within myself and around me as I see other leaders.

Most of us have about a decade of optimal leadership in us before we need to reinvent, reimagine or make a significant change.

I know that’s a big claim. And I’m sure there are exceptions. But hear me out, and see if it doesn’t resonate at some level.

I should also say that I believe in sustained, healthy leadership over a lifetime.  I’m 100% in on that. I have zero plans to retire and I’ve also served the same people for almost 25 years.

But before we figure out how to reinvent yourself as a leader, see if you’ve spotted this pattern too.

Most of us have about a decade of optimal leadership in us before we need to reinvent, reimagine or make a significant change.Click To Tweet

Ever Notice This About Musicians?

Look at musicians for a minute.

Most artists—even top artists and bands who have been together for decades—seem to have about a ten year run in which all their hit music is produced.

Here are a few cases from the last five decades:

Simon and Garfunkel’s hit music was composed in less than a decade.  When they split and Paul Simon went out on his own, his solo songs hit the charts from 1973 to 1986.  Paul Simon is still producing music (he says his most recent is his best), but no one’s really listening to it anymore.  Two ten year runs.

The Doobie Brothers, Boston, Journey, Bon Jovi, New Order, Journey, the Cure…roughly ten year runs.

U2 broke through in 1984, disappeared from the charts after 1991, and came back with big hits from 2001-2004.  Just over a decade when you add it up.

Coldplay has been going for 19 years, but their ascendancy into mainstream really happened from 2004 to 2014, with the odd pop up through to 2017. Just over a decade.

Run DMC, Blink 182, Incubus, Smashing Pumpkins, Dave Matthews…all about ten year runs in terms of music that charted.

Even the Rolling Stones, who have been performing for 55 years now (Oh. My. Gosh.)…well they extended the run to 15 years, from 1965 to about 1981. And since then…nothing really broke through.

Move closer to today, and you start to wonder whether 50 Cent, the Killers, Maroon 5, Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber will also succumb/have succumbed to the ten year run pattern. They will be known for decades…but will their dominance end within the usual decade?

And sure, Beyonce is one of the biggest names in music, but she hasn’t had a solo top ten hit in a decade either. Was that also a ten year run?

Can you find exceptions? I’m sure you can…but it’s a pretty remarkable and consistent pattern once you see it.

Your creativity in a particular area has a shelf-life. And once you’ve passed that shelf-life, everything gets stale.

All of which brings us to my theory…why does all this creativity and innovation tend to be cradled within a decade?

Your creativity in a particular area has a shelf-life. And once you’ve passed that shelf-life, everything gets stale. Click To Tweet

Stages Of The Ten Year Run

If you look at how most leaders progress, there’s a similar pattern.

If you know the Sigmoid curve, you’re familiar with this basic pattern.

Similarly, Les McKeown has traced out seven stages every business goes through, and Tony Morgan has developed a similar life cycle for churches.

My application is to the leader, and I think it’s fair to attach a timeline to it in the hopes that it will help you see yourself accurately and either a) prepare you for what’s next or b) move you out of a run.

Here are four phases that seem inevitable in leadership.

Phase 1: Innovation

We almost all start out in leadership by innovating.  Sometimes it means launching a new venture, but even if you join an existing organization, in the early days you discover how to match your skill set to the job, create momentum and move the mission forward.  Whether you’re creating something new or learning how to lead, you’re innovating.

Phase 2: Breakthrough

Breakthrough happens when you begin hit your stride in leadership. You’re producing results, gaining momentum, generating fresh ideas, and you’re really starting to feel traction.

Phase 3: Peak

Peak happens when you hit you full stride. Your vision, skills and contribution to the team and mission are reaching their maximum potential. This is your sweet spot, and your ideas are not only new and fresh, but they’re really seeing their potential realized.

Phase 4: Stagnation

Unfortunately, the run we all imagine goes on forever usually doesn’t. What was new and innovate five years ago isn’t anymore. What really connected a few years ago is connecting less. You’re using the same strategies, tactics and approach, but you’re seeing declining results.

To make it all worse, your new ideas aren’t quite as good as your old ideas. And any attempt to bring back old ideas strikes younger leaders and other organizations with momentum as yesterday’s news. Meanwhile, you’re searching for your next break through idea and it just gets harder and harder.

If you let this run a bit longer…you realize you’re running out of ideas.

Welcome to stagnation. The virtuous circle has turned into a vicious cycle.

So what happens next?

Well, sometimes leaders just keep running the old system, hoping for better results, which of course, never come.  The definition of futility is, indeed, doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.

Others claim they change, but in reality, they just put a new coat of paint on a deeply rusty vehicle, which lasts about six months before all the problems associated with irrelevance bubble to the surface again.

So what should you do? Well, the wise leader reinvents himself or herself.

If you don’t reinvent yourself, renew your passion and update your strategy, you become irrelevant. And the culture never listens to leaders it deems irrelevant. Neither do you.

Rather than sliding into decline, you reinvent yourself.

Hey, I’m not trying to be discouraging…I’m just saying this is real.

And if you don’t face up to your challenges in leadership, everyone pays. You pay, but so does your organization. Massively.

If you don’t face up to your challenges in leadership, everyone pays. You pay, but so does your organization. Massively. Click To Tweet

5 Signs Your Leadership Is Moving Past Peak

To drill down a little further, here are 5 quick signs your leadership is moving past peak.

1. The ideas that once flowed effortlessly are drying up.

2. You find it harder and harder to motivate yourself.

3. Your innovation for the future consists of bringing back ideas that used to work in the past.

4. You no longer have a clear picture for the future (like you used to).

5. You’re looking to outside ventures, side hustles or hobbies because the main task of leadership isn’t that exciting anymore.

These can be signs of burnout or other problems, but they can also signal that it’s time to reinvent yourself or move on.

If you want to go a little deeper on whether your ideas are still fresh or whether it’s time to reinvent or move on, here are two post that might help.

7 Signs You May Have Peaked as a Leader

7 Signs It’s Time to Leave

All of this, of course, involves change.

Change is hard, but the alternative is harder. As Eric Shinseki says, if you don’t like change, you’re going to like irrelevance even less.

Change is hard, but the alternative is harder. As Eric Shinseki says, if you don’t like change, you’re going to like irrelevance even less.Click To Tweet

Here’s How I’ve Seen Reinvention Work in My Life

Reinvention changes a vicious cycle into a virtuous cycle.

When I look back on my leadership, I see a sub-conscious pattern. Every 5-7 years, I throw a stick of dynamite into my leadership and rethink everything.

It’s not a conscious thing, but I think it’s been a helpful thing and one of the reasons I’ve been serving in the same place with the same people for 24 years.

I’m not saying every change was ideal or perfectly executed, but I am saying change has been the fuel that’s kept things fresh, moving and growing.

Here are just a few examples from the church in which I serve:

Within 5 years of starting ministry at 3 small historic churches, we started growing, questioned everything, sold all three buildings and became on church with a new future, new name and new mission, completely refocusing on reaching unchurched people.

Three years after starting the new church, we moved into a new facility.

Two years later, we rethought our ministry model and moved into a simple church model designed around steps, not programs.

Two year after that, many of us restarted as Connexus Church, becoming a multisite non-demoninational church.

5 years after that, we began building our broadcast location.

That same year, I transitioned out of the Lead Pastor role and into the role of Founding Pastor, ensuring succession was in place.

Three years after that, we added our third location.

And in my personal life in the last decade, here’s what change has looked like:

In 2010, 2012, 2015 and 2017 I published books.

In 2012 I started blogging regularly.

In 2014 I launched a leadership podcast.

In 2016, 2017 and 2018 I launched new online courses.

In 2019, I’m writing my next book and dreaming up new adventures.

The common denominator in all that? Constant reinvention.

Surprisingly, I feel more alive and things are growing faster than I ever dreamed possible 24 years into this senior leadership journey.

Change is good.

And of course, as you know, unimplemented change eventually becomes regret. So change.

Unimplemented change eventually becomes regret. So change.Click To Tweet

I’m not saying you have to engineer radical change like this (I admit, it’s pretty radical), but I am saying that doing the same thing over again will eventually suck the life out of you. It always does.

I’ve never felt more alive and and excited for the future, and neither has our team.

Reinvention changes a vicious cycle into a virtuous cycle. Click To Tweet

3 Things ReInvention Requires

So what does reinvention require?

In my view, it’s going to take at least three things.

1. Prayer and Discernment

Reinvention starts on your knees. All of these changes have involved prayer, and several of them significant prayer and discernment.

The longer I lead, the less I trust my own judgment.

You need an inner circle of wise people who know God and who know you who can help you discern what your next best steps are. They will see gifting, strengths and weaknesses in you that you either miss or don’t see accurately.

Letting God and others speak into your next steps ensures you take better next steps.

2. Clarity on Mission and Methods

The mission never changes; methods do.

And the challenge for all leaders and organization is that we inevitably fall in love with the method more than the mission.

Current example. I love podcasting. I’m a consumer (I listen to dozens of podcasts) and a content creator in the field.

But podcasting is a method; it’s not the mission.

No, the mission behind my podcast is to bring great conversations to people to help them thrive in life and leadership.

There may be a day when I don’t podcast anymore. But the mission to help people thrive in life and leadership is a call I believe God has put on my life. You can bring great conversations in many ways, and in the future there may be 100 ways we’ve never even thought of or invented yet to help people thrive in life and leadership. That’s what I have to be committed to. Podcasting is just currently a great vehicle for that.

Leaders who love the methods more than the mission are on a fast path to irrelevance.

Leaders who love the methods more than the mission are on a fast path to irrelevance. Click To Tweet

3. Courage

More than anything, reinvention takes courage.

After all, it doesn’t take much courage to reinvent what someone else has done. It takes tremendous courage and imagination to reinvent yourself.

Reinvention takes humility.

Sometimes it means killing what you started.

Other times it means realizing you were wrong.

Usually it means you tweak and change and reimagine and think through things again and again.

And all of that is very hard work. But it’s also rewarding work.

Courage is such a hard thing and such a beautiful thing. You need to have people around you who encourage you. Find them, hang on to them.

And I hope this encourages you to do what you know you need to do.

It doesn’t take much courage to reinvent what someone else has done. It takes tremendous courage and imagination to reinvent yourself.Click To Tweet

If Finding the Time Seems Overwhelming…Some Help

Many of us feel overwhelmed all the time, so finding time to reinvent yourself can seem impossible.

Well, maybe not. It’s very possible…and I’d love to help you get on top of your everything so you can get your life and leadership back.

If you’re trying to find the time for what matters most in life, my High Impact Leader course, is my online, on-demand course designed to help you get time, energy and priorities working in your favour.

Many leaders who have taken it are recovering 3 productive hours a day.  That’s about 1000 hours of found time each year. That’s a lot of time for what matters most.

Here are what some alumni are saying about The High Impact Leader Course”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you for providing the course again. It has absolutely made an impact in my life and family already that I can’t even describe.” – First Priority, Clayton County, North Carolina

“Carey’s course was the perfect way for our team to prepare for the new year. Our team, both collectively and individually, took a fresh look at maximizing our time and leadership gifts for the year ahead. I highly recommend this leadership development resource for you and your team.” Jeff Henderson, Gwinnett Church, Atlanta Georgia

“A lot of books and programs make big promises and cannot deliver but this is not one of them. I have read so many books and watched videos on productivity but the way you approach it and teach is helpful and has changed my work week in ministry in amazing ways.” Chris Sloan, Tanglewood Church, Kingston, North Carolina

“Just wow.  Thank you, thank you.” Dave Campbell, Invitation Church, Sioux Falls South Dakota

“A game changer.” Pam Perkins, Red Rock Church, Colorado Springs, Colorado

Curious? Want to beat overwhelm and have the time to reinvent yourself?

Click here to learn more or get instant access.

Some Hope

The good news is that leaders who reinvent themselves usually find a deep joy and sustained passion for the long haul.

I don’t know why musicians seem to have ten year bursts of creativity (even if they play for decades), but I do think leaders can remain fresh and imaginative.

Erwin McManus, at age 60, is a great example of a leader who has reinvented himself again and again to stay fresh and exceptionally relevant. His interview with Lewis Howes is a fascinating example of how to stay on the edge of change and speak into a culture that’s searching for God.

What keeps you fresh and relevant?

What patterns do you see? Scroll down and leave a comment!

The post Has Your Leadership Peaked? Leadership And The Theory of the Ten Year Run. appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: Has Your Leadership Peaked? Leadership And The Theory of the Ten Year Run.

The post Has Your Leadership Peaked? Leadership And The Theory of the Ten Year Run. appeared first on Passion for Planting.