Source: A Healthy Team Ratio

The post A Healthy Team Ratio appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Shawn Lovejoy: Has your team ever gotten along just enough to keep moving along? Conflict goes unresolved, under-performers skate by with no accountability, toxicity becomes the norm and morale is non-existent? Some organizations exist in that space. Having harmony on the exterior while tension exists just under the surface. Artificial harmony beneath the surface eventually leads to disunity at the surface. 

These are the moments when leaders lead. Leadership requires daily courageous conversations! Especially with people who aren’t getting the job done or don’t display the values to which we claim to hold.

As you wade into these conversations, I want to give you some “worst practices” to avoid at all costs.

Assigning Blame

So many leaders enter a coaching or corrective conversation ready to blame the other person. Rather than placing blame on the person you’re meeting with, level the playing field by starting the conversation with, “It could just be me, but…” before confronting the issue at hand. Avoiding accusation opens people up to receive development from you rather than being defensive towards you. Pre-deciding someone is to blame blocks you from being able hear that person’s side of the story. Besides, people who blame things rarely change things. Don’t assign blame, lead for change.

Texting Rather Than Talking

Tone, facial expressions, volume and posture often communicate deeper than words. Guess what, none of those things can be conveyed better than face-to-face. Too many leaders rely on text, direct messages or email to handle conflict. Almost every time you do this, your team reads your message through the lens of a worst case scenario. When it comes to quick relays of information or details, text and email work well. For a hard conversation, face-to-face is the only acceptable way to engage. Let me be clear, texting a hard conversation is the opposite of courageous and does more harm than good. 

Assuming the Worst

Most of us are overexposed to negativity. We’re almost hardwired to think the worst about a person or their motives before we know the truth. Discipline your emotions to assume the best about the team member you’re having a difficult conversation with. Assumptions influence outcomes. When you are intentional about searching for good in others, they can sense that and often respond accordingly. Entering these tough discussions by assuming the best also reshapes how you see people. When you look for the gold in people you don’t focus as much on the dirt.

When you handle conflict the right way, you bring peace to your team and life. Deal with these conversations using “worst practices” like this, and your result will be drama! Drama in your organization, on your team, in your relationships, in your leadership and in your life!

Conflict is inevitable; but Drama is a choice. Courageous conversations are one key to creating a drama-free organization…but it’s just one of the keys!

You’re invited to join me for a free training designed to help you “drama-proof” your culture. Join me on October 15th at 10amCST for “Creating a Drama Free Culture.” All you have to do is SIGN UP HERE!

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Source: The Wrong Way To Have Hard Conversations

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by Carey Nieuwhof: My guess is that as a leader you hate it when your team messes up.

Who doesn’t?

The real test of your leadership and character comes not when your team gets it right, but when you or they screw up. Your team will absolutely make mistakes. And so will you.

All the time, I hear people talk about how frustrated they are with their team.

How do you handle that?

I’ve seen way too many leaders throw their team under the bus when they blow it or their team makes mistakes. Why? They want to make themselves look good.

I saw it again recently. A leader I know was going to miss a meeting with me.

In his text, he said, “Sorry. My team messed up my schedule.”

On the one hand, I’m sure that’s true…his team did mess up.

And I felt some empathy for him. I feel the instinct to cover up my mistakes too. I feel the urge to blame anything or anyone and avoid responsibility as well:

Nobody told me about that!

He always forgets that!

Just so you know, that’s not my fault.

Wow, I can’t believe she missed that. 

Hey I’m so busy I don’t get involved in the details and clearly my team bungled that. 

All of that is natural. And all of that is a mistake. 100% a mistake.

My respect for that leader went down that day. His excuse was a classic bad move.

Imagine how his assistant would feel if she read that text.

When you throw your team under the bus, not only do they lose, so do you.

I promise you, leaders, making others look bad never makes you look good.

Making others look bad never makes you look good.Click To Tweet

So how do you stop throwing your team under the bus?

1. Stop Assigning Blame. Admit It Was Your Bad

You know what great leaders do when they make a mistake or their team does?

They take responsibility for it.

Here’s what you say if you miss a meeting, no matter who’s fault it is:

Hey, I am so sorry I missed that we were supposed to meet. That’s my bad. 

I don’t care if your assistant forgot to tell you, or your calendar malfunctioned.

If you’re the leader, you’re responsible.

Perhaps one of the greatest challenges of leadership is realizing that while everything may not be your direct fault, it is your responsibility.

So stop assigning blame and start assuming responsibility.

Don’t like assuming that kind of responsibility? That’s easy to fix. Stop being the leader.

While everything may not be your direct fault, it is your responsibility. If you’re the leader, you’re responsible. Click To Tweet

2. ReAssign the Stupid

I’ve heard more than a few leaders vent about how many stupid mistakes their team makes. I’ve heard a few leaders call members of their team stupid.

Well, if your team is making stupid mistakes, guess whose fault that is?

Yours.

You recruited them.

If your team isn’t performing at the level you want them to, that’s on you. You haven’t led them beyond their current performance.

If your team is making stupid mistakes, guess whose fault that is? Yours. You recruited them.Click To Tweet

3. Decide You’ll Cover For Them

In battle, soldiers owe their lives to people who cover for them.

Leadership is not that different.

Your job as a leader is to lead and protect your team. Covering for the team is actually what a great leader does.

Think about people who covered for you. My guess is you feel both deeply grateful for them and deeply loyal to them.

Your team will feel the same way about you if you cover for them.

4. Affirm Publicly, Correct Privately

Covering for them doesn’t mean you avoid the issue, far from it.

Instead, affirm your team publicly and then correct privately. Have an honest conversation. Address the issues that need to be addressed.

Perhaps it’s them. Sometimes it’s a systems issue…the process you’ve set up doesn’t work anymore. When your team is messing up regularly, it’s almost a systems issue.

If you want to fix the problem, fix the system.

5. Admit Your Own Mistakes

One of the best ways to get your team to quickly own up to their shortcomings is to admit your own.

While this is hard, the leader should be the first to apologize, the first to admit they blew it, the first to draw attention to their own issues.

One of the best ways to get your team to quickly own up to their shortcomings is to admit your own. Click To Tweet

The vulnerability of the team rarely exceeds the vulnerability of the leader.

If you want your team to be more honest, start by being more honest yourself.

And if this is difficult for you (it was and sometimes still is for me), see a good counselor or therapist. Healthy leaders are the best leaders.

The vulnerability of the team rarely exceeds the vulnerability of the leader.Click To Tweet

Ready to Lead Better?

So maybe you’re one of the leaders who’s so busy working in your business that you don’t have time to work on your business. There’s just no margin. You can’t breathe, and as a result, you’re not really thinking.

Ready to change that?

I can help. I’ve helped over 3000 leaders free up hundreds of hours each year and often 3 hours a day to do what they feel they never have time for.

My High Impact Leader course, is my online, on-demand course designed to help you get time, energy and priorities working in your favour.

It’s perfect for leaders who feel like they never have enough time in the day to get it all done.

Many leaders who have taken it are recovering 3 productive hours a day.  That’s about 1000 hours of found time each year. That’s a lot of time for what matters most.

Here are what some alumni are saying about The High Impact Leader Course”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you for providing the course again. It has absolutely made an impact in my life and family already that I can’t even describe.” – Joel Rowland, Clayton County, North Carolina

“Just wow.  Thank you, thank you.” Dave Campbell,  Sioux Falls South Dakota

“A game-changer.” Pam Perkins,  Colorado Springs, Colorado

Curious? Want to beat overwhelm and have the time to reflect, rest and reinvent yourself?

Click here to learn more or get instant access.

What Do You Think?

Leaders who refuse to throw their teams under the bus always have better teams. Cover for them.

What’s been your experience with this?

Scroll down and leave a comment.

Leaders who refuse to throw their teams under the bus always have better teams. Click To Tweet

The post How to Stop Throwing Your Team Under the Bus (Even If They Keep Messing Up) appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: How to Stop Throwing Your Team Under the Bus (Even If They Keep Messing Up)

The post How to Stop Throwing Your Team Under the Bus (Even If They Keep Messing Up) appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Healthy Growing Churches: Conflict in and amongst our teams is inevitable. Each member of the team is human after all, and as much as we hate to admit it, we don’t always walk perfectly in alignment with the Spirit like we wish we could. Also, each member of your team is passionate and gifted in different areas, and while their contribution to a specific project may be significant, sometimes those passions and giftings clash with others’ or even our own leadership.

Let me tell you a little about my leadership journey to help us put some things into perspective. First of all, I have been in some leadership ministry role in church since I was a teenager. For the majority of that time, I was a worship leader. In October of 2010, I became the Worship Arts Pastor at a local church in Upstate, SC. I was in my twenties and full of energy and zeal, which is excellent! Don’t lose that!

Unfortunately, however, I inherited a dysfunctional team. During the first five years of ministry there, I felt like all I did was pick up broken pieces and try to put them back together. It was suffocating and creatively stifling. If you’ve been there or you are now, you know exactly what I am talking about. You have God-given, God-sized dreams and goals, but there’s this constant pounding up against what seems to be a brick wall. And no matter how hard you try, you can’t find a breakthrough. Here are some things I learned during parts of this season and some things that I am still working out today.

There are warning signs. Don’t gloss over them.

So many of our ministers in local churches today fall into the category of the shepherd, teacher, or shepherd-teacher. While these roles are critical for a vibrant church, other roles are important too, like the apostle, prophet, and evangelist (Ephesians 4). My experience in the local church has been one where the shepherd and the teacher ruled and, unfortunately, issues and major warning signs of the dysfunctional got swept under the rug or glossed over. As Christian brothers and sisters, we have to have relationships with those whom we serve that are deep enough to call these things out! It is imperative.

There is a right and a wrong way to deal with conflict, and there are books written to that end that you can study. But the point is that a problem is not just going to go away. It would be like saying a deep, infected wound would heal on its own. No, the way a deep wound heals (without treatment) is that a scab forms over the top of it, but infection and a lot of gross stuff festers underneath. No matter what, that junk is going to come back up to the surface. You either deal with an issue now, or you deal with a much greater one later. In the case of an infected wound, we could be talking about an amputation here. So think about that analogy in light of your teams.

So what are the warning signs for which you should be on the lookout?

1. Disengagement

Is there someone on your team who use to share incredible vision and ideas that now seems preoccupied in meetings or team activities? Is there someone on your team that used to seem excited about the mission and vision of your church, but now appears disinterested and maybe a bit jaded? If you’re the lead/senior pastor at your church, take a look at your youth, children’s, and worship pastors. Are their teams engaged? And are you engaged with them?

2. Discipleship or lack thereof

Do you have members of your team mentoring and discipling other members of your team? Are there conversations going on outside the parameters of the team, church, or ministry? Who are you, as the leader, discipling? Are you setting the example? Do the people on your team seem to generally like each other, even if they don’t always agree on a particular strategy?

Those are just two of the warning signs. It’s likely that you’ve experienced others. Gossip, backbiting, quarrels, and discord – all of these are warning signs, but I believe that all stem from either disengagement or lack of discipleship.

YOU are the key to leading a functional team.

One of the critical elements in determining if your team is dysfunctional is YOU. It is so essential for you, as the leader, to acknowledge your role in the dysfunction of your team. Is there someone on your team with whom you clash? Are you disengaged or disinterested with the team you have either built or inherited? Have you become jaded and unhealthy in your relationship with Jesus? Are you being discipled, and are you making disciples?

Now that you know and understand that your team is dysfunctional and you’ve acknowledged your part in the dysfunction, it’s time to make a plan. This is where the hard work comes in, especially for those who may not be natural relational leaders.

Leading teams effectively requires some range of vulnerability and transparency, regardless of your personal leadership style. In general, you’ll find that more people will follow your mission and vision if they believe and know you actually care about them. This is especially true of Millennials and Xennials, perhaps less true with baby boomers and such.

Whether you like it or not, those who are actually already beginning to take the reigns of the Church or will be leading the church in just a few years are of the millennial generation. I personally think this is a great thing, and I believe there is a lot of hope for the Church because God has uniquely gifted this generation with different gifts and abilities, just like He has with all generations before this one. Every generation has had its particular calling, and when we work across generational lines, we see an essential glimpse of heaven. We begin to see the body of Christ in motion.

An important point to remember is that we all lead people out of who we are. So here you may think, “Well, I’m a strong-willed, unemotional person who just wants to get the job done. That’s who I am. That’s how I’m going to lead.” But there’s a caveat to the statement just mentioned: “We lead out of who we are, but we must lead who we have” (Greg Wiens). The “who” that you lead may need something different from you, and it is important to know this about your team members.

Tools to Utilize

If you’re uncertain about who the people are on your team, there are several tools you can utilize.

Go to our website and have your team members take the FREE Spiritual Gifts Assessment.
Head on over to Healthy Growing Leaders’ site, take and give the DISC Assessment to all of your team members. This will provide you with powerful insight into what makes your team members click – how they need to be led.
Give your team members the Love Languages test. If you want to be a servant leader, this is vital.

During my time as Worship Arts Pastor, I would give all of my volunteers in the band and production these three assessments. I found that some of my team members driven by gifts or words of affirmation, so one of the most perfect ways to encourage and motivate these team members was a hand-written note of encouragement. For some of my other team members, a $5 gift card to Starbucks when they’d really outdone themselves would really speak to them. Many of my millennial team members needed quality time, so a 30 min coffee break was a nice treat to them. Some liked to be acknowledged publicly; some privately. The important thing was that I knew these things about my team.

It all comes down to a desire to be connected, so stay tuned for Part 2 of this blog next week where we’ll talk more about that connection. Also, be sure to check out all the other posts in this series.

The post Leadership Development: Leading Through Conflict – Part 1 appeared first on Healthy Growing Churches.

Source: Leadership Development: Leading Through Conflict – Part 1

The post Leadership Development: Leading Through Conflict – Part 1 appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Carey Nieuwhof: If you lead, you are more than aware of the incredible responsibility you have toward others.

Leadership, by definition, is not a solo sport. You’re leading others, and how you do it ultimately determines how effective you are as a leader.

It also means you need to become exceptionally self-aware of your weaknesses.

If you think about it, the leaders you’ve probably liked the least have been the least self-aware.

In my view, self-awareness is a leader’s best friend. (Here are 4 things self-aware leaders know that others don’t.)

As a shortcut, here are 7 common things leaders do that drive their team crazy. I know this because I have done the first 5 at different points in my leadership.

1. Underestimating how much work it takes

You’re in an incredible position of trust as a leader. When you say things, your team does its best to make them happen.

But some leaders are notorious for underestimating how much time a task will take.

Sometimes leaders fall into the trap of thinking they can be like God and simply speak things into being: And the leader said “Let there be a fourth weekend service” and it was so. 

Of course, the leader hasn’t properly estimated the impact this is going to have on the parking team, the guest services team, the kids ministry team, the student ministry team, the production team or the music team.

Underestimating how much work something takes can seem like an initial advantage because it makes seemingly impossible things happen.

But it can also be incredibly demotivating to your team when you significantly underestimate how much work something will take.

Often leaders are afraid to ask how much work something will take because they fear leaders will say no. If you have a good team, that’s almost never the case.

They just want to know that you know and appreciate the effort and will allocate the budget and the staffing the proposal needs. And if you don’t have enough budget or staffing, often your team will say yes anyway and make it happen. They just need your encouragement and understanding of what it will cost them.

If this describes you, next time take the time to sit down with your team and think through how much work it will take to get you there. Then plan for it.

The fix can be that simple.

Leaders can’t speak things into being. Only God can do that. For the rest of us, it takes a team.Click To Tweet

2. Impulsive, emotion-based decision making

I asked my amazing assistant what I do that drives her the most crazy. This was her pick.

Yep, leaders are passionate. Even impulsive.

They are used to creating something out of nothing. Sometimes that’s good, as in Hey, why don’t we launch two campuses at once? Or hey, why don’t we start a podcast and see if anything happens?

Often, the impulsiveness and emotion are driven from a place of discontent with the status quo. That is, after all, the impetus to change.

I may be bothered by something I think needs fixing immediately. I may be discontent about a situation I think the entire team needs to address immediately.

But, to paraphrase Bill Hybels, not all discontent is holy.

Sometimes my discontent comes from having a bad day, or being moody, or just deciding something on the spur of the moment.

And then I almost always reverse the decision the next day or the next week. Or bump what was priority #1 down to priority #32 because it just isn’t as important anymore.

That’s frustrating for people.

I’ve gotten better at this, but when my assistant senses it’s happening, she’s become great at asking “So are you serious about this or is this just how you feel in the moment?”

Often that shakes me out of the moment and I’ll say “Right…I’m probably just upset about something. Let me sleep on it.”  Or I’ll ask her what she thinks (or check with some other leaders) and they’ll tell me I’m just worked up about something and I need to relax.

Just because you’re upset about something as a leader doesn’t mean it should become the top priority of the organization.

Don’t let your impulse today as a leader become someone’s burden tomorrow.Click To Tweet

3. Being indecisive

I’ve seen indecisive leadership sink more than a few ships.

Your job as a leader is to make decisions that make things happen.

That doesn’t mean you make decisions all by yourself. The best leaders always involve a team in their decision making.

But you still need to make a decision.

What makes decision making hard at a senior leadership level is that it’s only the toughest decisions that make it to you. All the easy decisions already got made long before they reached your desk.

And that can lead to delay.

Delay leads to paralysis.

And paralysis leads to stagnation and decline.

Delayed decision-making demotivates your team.

So make a decision, and create a process for making sure decisions get made regularly and quickly.

Sure, every once in a while you need to take a long time to make a decision. But far too many leaders use that as an excuse.

Decide.

Indecisive leadership demotivates teams.Click To Tweet

4. Being too decisive and not valuing input

Every problem has a flip side, and the flip side of being indecisive is being too decisive.

Some leaders make instant decisions without any input from anyone else, and that is also frustrating to their teams.

I think it’s a good practice for every senior leader to be a part of something they don’t lead.

I work with a couple of organizations on the side where I’m not the senior leader or where I sit on the board. It helps me realize what it feels like to not be the senior leader.

So I know that I really appreciate it when CEOs ask for my opinion, when they value my input when they seek my counsel. Even if I disagree with their decision, I know they consulted others, and that gives me confidence in their decision.

As Andy Stanley has so aptly said, leaders who refuse to listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing significant to say.

Leaders who refuse to listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.Click To Tweet

5. Creating an unsustainable pace

You can be tempted to burn the midnight oil as a leader. Most great leaders do at one time or another.

But leaders can also create an unsustainable pace for their team.

Your team feels guilty about going home long before you do. And when you’re pounding out emails at 11 p.m. and 5 a.m. 7 days a week, it makes your team feel lazy.

It also makes you look incredibly unhealthy.

I have a very strong appetite for work, but I’ve let my team know what my expectation for them is.  Just because I work long hours (on a variety of things) doesn’t mean everyone has to.

One of a leader’s chief responsibilities is to create a sustainable pace for their entire team.

Just because you work long hours as a leader doesn’t mean everyone has to.Click To Tweet

6. Working too few hours

Sometimes leaders end up working too few hours.

That’s perhaps even more demotivating than working too many hours.

Always work as hard as you expect your team to work. Even harder (but see above).

Leaders who phone it in have no place in real leadership.

Leaders who phone it in have no place in real leadership.Click To Tweet

7. Expecting others to put in more than you’re willing to put in

Leadership requires your all.

If your organization requires donations, contribute—sacrificially.

If your organization requires volunteers—volunteer for something, even though you get paid for your staff role.

Never expect more from your team than you’re willing to personally put in.

That doesn’t mean you should always be first in and last to leave. You have to focus on roles in which you can contribute most. But it does mean you should be willing to go the extra mile.

When a leader is working less passionately fewer hours than their team, the team loses both passion for the mission and respect for the leader.

Never expect more as a leader from your team than you’re willing to personally put in. Click To Tweet

What Do You See?

These are 7 ways I think leaders can drive their teams nuts.

What would you add to this list?

Scroll down and leave a comment.

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The post 7 Leadership Blind Spots That Drive Your Team Crazy appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: 7 Leadership Blind Spots That Drive Your Team Crazy

The post 7 Leadership Blind Spots That Drive Your Team Crazy appeared first on Passion for Planting.