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	<title>trust Archives - Passion for Planting</title>
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		<title>What Can You Control?</title>
		<link>https://church-planting.net/what-can-you-control/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Sean Cronin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 24 Jun 2021 09:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[General Church Planting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[control]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[decisions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[truth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wisdom]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://newchurches.com/blogs/what-can-you-control/</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<div><img width="290" height="290" src="https://church-planting.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/NewChurches-Small-Border-Logo-250x250.jpg" class="attachment-full size-full wp-post-image" alt="www.newchurches.com" id="featured-image" style="margin-bottom: 15px;" decoding="async" fetchpriority="high" /></div>
<p>Home &#62; Blog &#62; What Can You Control? What Can You Control? By Michael Kelley The Bible tells us the truth. It tells us the truth about God, about the nature of the world, and – perhaps most uncomfortably – about ourselves. We might, in fact, think of the Bible [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://church-planting.net/what-can-you-control/">What Can You Control?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://church-planting.net">Passion for Planting</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><img width="290" height="290" src="https://church-planting.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/NewChurches-Small-Border-Logo-250x250.jpg" class="attachment-full size-full wp-post-image" alt="www.newchurches.com" id="featured-image" style="margin-bottom: 15px;" decoding="async" /></div><div>
<h4><a class="breadCrumbNc" href="https://newchurches.com">Home &gt;</a> <a class="breadCrumbNc" href="https://newchurches.com/blog">Blog &gt;</a> <span class="breadCrumbNcActive">What Can You Control?</span></h4>
<h1>What Can You Control?</h1>
<h4>By Michael Kelley</h4>
<p><img decoding="async" class="attachment-post-thumbnail size-post-thumbnail wp-post-image" src="https://newchurches.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/charles-deluvio-1-nx1QR5dTE-unsplash-scaled-e1623888027775.jpg" alt="" width="1000" height="1000" /></p>
<p>The Bible tells us the truth. It tells us the truth about God, about the nature of the world, and – perhaps most uncomfortably – about ourselves. We might, in fact, think of the Bible as a pane of glass. And glass can have two primary functions – you can either look through it, or you can see yourself in it. The Bible does both.</p>
<p>We can look through it as a window in order to see a true representation of that which is outside of us. We can see God, the gospel, sin, and the nature of the world around us through this lens. But we can also gaze into it and see ourselves. And if we do not do both, then we aren’t really having our minds transformed into a biblical way of thinking.</p>
<p>On the subject of seeing ourselves, I’d call your attention to one verse in particular today:</p>
<p><em><span class="text Jer-17-9">The heart is more deceitful than anything else,</span></em><br />
<em><span class="text Jer-17-9">and incurable—who can understand it? (Jer. 17:9). </span></em></p>
<p>This is indeed an uncomfortable truth. It’s a decidedly different truth than the version of truth we find anywhere else in the world. While movies, Hollywood, and self-help gurus will tell us to follow our own hearts, the Bible says we should follow Jesus. While the world tells us that the source of truth is within us, the Bible tells us that our hearts are liars. While the world says that we can’t go wrong if we trust in ourselves, the Bible tells us that a sure way to go off track is to trust our own feelings.</p>
<p>This is a hard truth, but it is nevertheless a gift – the gift of being able to actually know ourselves. To know what we are capable of. And to find a source of authority far more trustworthy than ourselves.</p>
<p>Friends, I can’t trust myself. And you can’t trust ourselves. Our feelings will mislead us. Not all the time, but at least some of it. These feelings are blind guides and deceitful leaders. We follow them at our own peril. Problem is, we by and large can’t control what we feel on a given day.</p>
<p>Think about it personally. What do you feel right now? Do you feel hopeful? Sad? Happy? Excited? And now ask yourself whether you <em>decided</em> to feel that way. Probably not. Instead, you just feel what you feel at a given moment. Sometimes it’s motivated by the circumstances around you. Sometimes there is no valid reason for those feelings at all. But in the end, you feel what you feel. We all do.</p>
<p>You can’t control what you feel. But you can control what you look at.</p>
<p>The psalmist was one who recognized this:</p>
<p><em>I will set no worthless thing before my eyes… (Ps. 101:3, NASB).</em></p>
<p>Now while we might typically think about this verse in terms of something like pornography (which we should), there are all kinds of worthless things we might set before our eyes. But why the resolution not to put anything before his eyes? I mean, it’s only looking, right? Except for the fact that the psalmist knew that where we look determines where we focus. And where we focus often will determine what we value.</p>
<p>By that logic, then, if we are resigned to the fact that we are going to feel what we feel, and that those feelings might not be right, then the most proactive thing we can do is to make sure we are looking at the right thing. To make sure, even in the midst of feeling what we know we should not, that at least our gaze is on the right place.</p>
<p>And so then we turn to the New Testament, where we find that which ought to be ever before us. That which, if our focus is right, will determine the way we should go and what we should value:</p>
<p><em><span class="text Heb-12-1">Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,</span> <span id="en-NASB-30215" class="text Heb-12-2">fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God (Heb. 12:1-2).</span></em></p>
<p>Christian, you may or may not be feeling rightly today. Regardless, make sure you are “looking” rightly.</p>
</div>
<p>Source: <a href="https://newchurches.com/blogs/what-can-you-control/" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-wplink-edit="true">What Can You Control?</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://church-planting.net/what-can-you-control/">What Can You Control?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://church-planting.net">Passion for Planting</a>.</p>
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		<title>Barriers to Leading Change</title>
		<link>https://church-planting.net/barriers-to-leading-change/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Sean Cronin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 15 May 2021 09:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[General Church Planting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[change]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[comfort]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Impact Discipleship Ministries]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mission]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[misunderstanding]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Resources]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://discipleship.org/blog/barriers-to-leading-change/</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<div><img width="600" height="600" src="https://church-planting.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Square-cover-A.png" class="attachment-full size-full wp-post-image" alt="www.discipleship.org" id="featured-image" style="margin-bottom: 15px;" decoding="async" loading="lazy" /></div>
<p>By Ken Adams: Good leaders understand a necessary part of their job is leading change. They understand the need for change and they have the desire to lead it, but often they face major obstacles in bringing it about. Barriers to change can cause even the best leader a great [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://church-planting.net/barriers-to-leading-change/">Barriers to Leading Change</a> appeared first on <a href="https://church-planting.net">Passion for Planting</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><img width="600" height="600" src="https://church-planting.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Square-cover-A.png" class="attachment-full size-full wp-post-image" alt="www.discipleship.org" id="featured-image" style="margin-bottom: 15px;" decoding="async" loading="lazy" /></div><p class="p1">By Ken Adams: Good leaders understand a necessary part of their job is leading change. They understand the need for change and they have the desire to lead it, but often they face major obstacles in bringing it about. Barriers to change can cause even the best leader a great deal of <em>frustration</em> and <em>discouragement</em>. It’s imperative that every leader be able to identify barriers to change.</p>
<p class="p1">The Church can be one of the most difficult places to lead change. The “we’ve never done it that way before” mindset is enough to drive any church leader crazy. Let’s take a quick look at some of the most common barriers that affect leading change in the local church.</p>
<p class="p1"><i>1. Failing to understand the mission.</i> When people understand the mission and are passionate about seeing the mission accomplished, it makes change more acceptable. Misunderstanding the mission keeps people stuck in what they are comfortable with and resistant to change.</p>
<p class="p1"><i>2. Leaders who don’t trust the Pastor. </i>Let’s face it, leading change begins with the pastor, and key leaders can make it hard for for that person to lead. If a core group of leaders are pushing back against the pastor’s leadership, it will be almost impossible to bring change without hurting the church.</p>
<p class="p1"><i>3. A Pastor who cannot be trusted. </i>There are times when pastors have their own agendas in mind and can’t be trusted to lead the right way. When a church has a pastor who cannot be trusted to lead selflessly, positive sustainable change probably will not happen.</p>
<p class="p1"><i>4. Comfort means more than the cause.</i> I know a leader who says, “If you are comfortable, it is cause for concern.” I agree with him. Growing churches need to change to grow, and if leaders of the congregation care more about their own comfort than leading change, it probably won’t take place.</p>
<p class="p1"><i>5. A lack of resources needed for change.</i> Often times change requires financial and/or “people” resources. There will always be times when change is needed and wanted, but the lack of resources keeps it from happening.</p>
<p class="p1"><i>6. Fear of losing people.</i> Let’s face it, sometimes local churches do not change because of the fear that people will be unhappy and leave. Here is a real truth. You will likely lose people if you change and you will likely lose people if you don’t. Make the change even if it means some people will not like it.</p>
<p class="p1">Leading change is a challenge in <em>every</em> organization, and especially in the local church. People get caught up in traditions and power struggles that prevent change from happening. It takes real courage to lead a church to change.</p>
<p class="p1"> A good leader with the right heart and the patience to bring others along with the mission can successfully navigate change when and where it is needed.</p>
<p><a class="in-cell-link" href="https://discipleship.org/#newsletter" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Subscribe to </a><a class="in-cell-link" href="https://discipleship.org/#newsletter" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">the Discipleship.org email list here</a> to get blogs like this delivered to your inbox each week.</p>
<p>By Ken Adams. Used with permission.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://discipleship.org/blog/barriers-to-leading-change/" rel="nofollow">Barriers to Leading Change</a> appeared first on <a href="https://discipleship.org" rel="nofollow">Discipleship.org</a>.</p>
<p>Source: <a href="https://discipleship.org/blog/barriers-to-leading-change/" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-wplink-edit="true">Barriers to Leading Change</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://church-planting.net/barriers-to-leading-change/">Barriers to Leading Change</a> appeared first on <a href="https://church-planting.net">Passion for Planting</a>.</p>
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		<title>CNLP 411: Ian Morgan Cron Explains How Your Enneagram Type Responds to Chronic Stress and the Difference Between Fake Authenticity and True Vulnerability</title>
		<link>https://church-planting.net/cnlp-411-ian-morgan-cron-explains-how-your-enneagram-type-responds-to-chronic-stress-and-the-difference-between-fake-authenticity-and-true-vulnerability/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Sean Cronin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 28 Apr 2021 09:15:00 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[General Church Planting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Planter Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Carey Nieuwhof]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[change]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[character]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CNLP]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COVID-19]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[crisis]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[growth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[honesty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[perseverance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Growth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[podcast]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The High Impact Leader]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://careynieuwhof.com/episode411/</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<div><img width="250" height="250" src="https://church-planting.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/carey-nieuwhof.jpg" class="attachment-full size-full wp-post-image" alt="www.careynieuwhof.com" id="featured-image" style="margin-bottom: 15px;" decoding="async" loading="lazy" /></div>
<p>By Carey Nieuwhof: After a year of leading through constant crisis, how are leaders supposed to cope? Ian Morgan Cron and Carey catch up on how each Enneagram type reacts under stress and the difference between fake or strategic authenticity and true vulnerability. Welcome to Episode 411 of the podcast. Listen [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://church-planting.net/cnlp-411-ian-morgan-cron-explains-how-your-enneagram-type-responds-to-chronic-stress-and-the-difference-between-fake-authenticity-and-true-vulnerability/">CNLP 411: Ian Morgan Cron Explains How Your Enneagram Type Responds to Chronic Stress and the Difference Between Fake Authenticity and True Vulnerability</a> appeared first on <a href="https://church-planting.net">Passion for Planting</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><img width="250" height="250" src="https://church-planting.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/carey-nieuwhof.jpg" class="attachment-full size-full wp-post-image" alt="www.careynieuwhof.com" id="featured-image" style="margin-bottom: 15px;" decoding="async" loading="lazy" /></div><p>By Carey Nieuwhof: After a year of leading through constant crisis, how are leaders supposed to cope?</p>
<p>Ian Morgan Cron and Carey catch up on how each Enneagram type reacts under stress and the difference between fake or strategic authenticity and true vulnerability.</p>
<p>Welcome to <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/carey-nieuwhof-leadership/id912753163?mt=2" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Episode 411 of the podcast</a>. Listen and access the show notes below or search for the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast on <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/carey-nieuwhof-leadership/id912753163?mt=2" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Apple Podcasts</a> or wherever you get your podcasts and listen for free.</p>
<p>Plus, in this episode’s What I’m Thinking About segment, Carey talks about why he finds personality assessments so helpful as a leader.</p>
<h2 style="text-align: left;"><strong>Guest Links</strong></h2>
<p style="text-align: center;"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="alignnone size-large wp-image-186921" src="https://i0.wp.com/careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/CNLP-1200x630-Ian-Morgan-Cron.jpg?resize=1024,538&amp;ssl=1" alt="" width="1024" height="538" data-recalc-dims="1" /><br />
<a href="https://www.instagram.com/ianmorgancron" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Instagram</a> | <a href="https://www.facebook.com/IanMorganCron/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Facebook</a> | <a href="https://twitter.com/ianmorgancron" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Twitter</a> | <a href="https://ianmorgancron.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Website</a></p>
<h2 style="text-align: left;"><strong>Episode Links</strong></h2>
<h3><strong>Pro Media Fire</strong></h3>
<p data-pm-slice="1 1 []">Imagine waking up WOWED by the beautiful content you see on your social media platforms all week long.</p>
<p>Instagram and Facebook Stories filled with excitement. Custom graphics and animation to stop the scroll. And the best part is it is all done for you by the Pro Media Fire team.</p>
<p>You have two choices in 2021 when it comes to social media:</p>
<p>You or a team member can work day and night to keep up with social media strategy that constantly changes.<br />
OR, you can hire Pro Media Fire, and get an entire team of experts that keep up with the trends to help you grow online.</p>
<p>The choice is yours—bury yourself in social media work, or <a href="https://www.promediafire.com/growth" target="_blank" rel="noopener">hire an entire team to help you thrive online</a>.</p>
<p><strong>Book your social media management consultation today at <a href="https://www.promediafire.com/growth" target="_blank" rel="noopener">promediafire.com/growth</a>.</strong></p>
<h3><strong>XPS 2021 By CDF Capital</strong></h3>
<p>If you’re a 2nd chair leader (Executive Pastor, Administrative Pastor, Operations Pastors) at a local church, you’re in an incredible spot of influence.</p>
<p>I’m privileged to have been a part of the Executive Pastor Summit (XPS), and I’d love to point you to this gathering of Exec Pastors that is led by CDF Capital, Exponential, and Leadership Network.</p>
<p><a href="https://welcome.cdfcapital.org/xps2021/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">XPS is an annual innovative gathering of XP leaders looking to move their ministry forward</a>.</p>
<p>Key voices shaping XPS this year include:</p>
<p>Ed Stetzer<br />
Dan Reiland<br />
Beth Ganem</p>
<p>The event is May 25-26 in Denver, Colorado. Sign up today, and connect with the sharpest men and women XP leaders in the country.</p>
<p><strong>Learn more about XPS 2021 at <a class="ProsemirrorEditor-link" href="https://welcome.cdfcapital.org/xps2021/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">welcome.cdfcapital.org/xps2021/</a>.</strong></p>
<h3><strong>Conversation Links</strong></h3>
<p><a href="https://www.typologypodcast.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Typology Podcast</a></p>
<p><a href="https://www.typologypodcast.com/podcast/2021/18/02/episode04-035/nieuwhofs" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Typology Podcast: How Hidden Beliefs Impact Toni and Carey Nieuwhof’s Marriage</a></p>
<p><a href="https://www.typologypodcast.com/podcast/22019/04/07/episode02-049/careynieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Typology Podcast: Seven Core Challenges of Leadership, feat. Carey Nieuwhof (Enneagram 8)</a></p>
<p><a href="https://www.typologypodcast.com/podcast/2019/11/07/episode02-050/careynieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Typology Podcast: Carey Nieuwhof on the Enneagram and Self-Leadership, part 2 (Enneagram 8)</a></p>
<p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Road-Back-You-Enneagram-Self-Discovery/dp/0830846190?&amp;linkCode=sl1&amp;tag=careynieuwhof-20&amp;linkId=b9602950a52f75ed022d8b181df8a566&amp;language=en_US&amp;ref_=as_li_ss_tl" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>The Road Back to You</em> by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile</a></p>
<p><a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/episode241/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">CNLP 241: Ian Morgan Cron on Using Your Enneagram Number to Boost Self-Awareness, Spiritual Growth and Reduce Conflict at Work and at Home</a></p>
<p><a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/episode342/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">CNLP 342: Ian Morgan Cron on How Your Enneagram Type Handles Stress, How to Stay Healthy in a Crisis, and the Best Approach to Dealing with Uncertainty</a></p>
<p><a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/episode278/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">CNLP 278: Ian Morgan Cron on How Your Enneagram Profile Positions You for Burnout, Pride, Cynicism and Other Hidden Traps in Life and Leadership</a></p>
<p><a href="https://www.rightpath.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">RightPath Resources</a></p>
<p><a href="https://www.ministryinsights.com/product/leading-from-your-strengths-profile/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Leading From Your Strengths Assessment</a></p>
<p><a href="https://www.gallup.com/cliftonstrengths/en/strengthsfinder.aspx" target="_blank" rel="noopener">StrengthsFinder</a></p>
<p><a href="https://www.workinggenius.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The 6 Types of Working Genius</a></p>
<p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Intimacy-God-Introduction-Centering-Prayer/dp/0824525299?&amp;linkCode=sl1&amp;tag=careynieuwhof-20&amp;linkId=19ef18ac774e2a3482e0cd0aea32ad6e&amp;language=en_US&amp;ref_=as_li_ss_tl" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>Intimacy with God</em> by Thomas Keating</a></p>
<p><a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/email/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Carey’s Daily Email</a></p>
<p><em>*As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.</em></p>
<h3><strong>Insights From Ian</strong></h3>
<p><strong>1. Take care of your basic needs if you want to fight anxiety</strong></p>
<p>As a corporate consultant and therapist, Ian often gets calls from leaders who are dealing with some pretty intense anxiety in the moment, and they want him to help them stop being so anxious.</p>
<p>His first question to them is often, “What did you eat for breakfast?” Usually, the answer is, “Nothing.” Then, he asks, “How much water have you drank today?” Followed by, “When was the last time you exercised?” And, “How much sleep have you gotten the last three nights?” Usually, they’re struggling with three or four of those things, so he tells them to fix those issues and call him back. Seven times out of 10, this fixes their issue.</p>
<p><strong>2. When you’re stressed, avoid the trap of managing rather than leading</strong></p>
<p>When many leaders get stressed, they fall into the trap of managing rather than leading. You probably have great managers working under you as a leader. Ian recommends you let them do their job, and that you focus on leading them with vision and direction rather than micromanaging.</p>
<p><strong>3. Loneliness is killing leaders</strong></p>
<p>During the interview, Ian makes a point to recommend every single leader ask themselves, “Am I lonely?” With today’s technology, people are becoming more isolated, and loneliness has become an epidemic. Odds are, you or someone you know are being seriously impacted by loneliness.</p>
<p>To fight loneliness, Ian recommends having more spontaneous visits with old friends, more FaceTime calls with relatives and putting yourself into more social situations than you might be comfortable with. It might be uncomfortable in the short-term, but will pay off in the long.</p>
<h2><strong>Quotes from Episode 411</strong></h2>
<p><em>Don&#8217;t you know that when you try to be authentic, you&#8217;re automatically being inauthentic? @ianmorgancron</em><a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Click To Tweet</a></p>
<p><em>Vulnerability is arguably the most important ingredient in forging great relationships. @ianmorgancron</em><a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://careynieuwhof.com/episode411/&amp;text=Vulnerability is arguably the most important ingredient in forging great relationships. @ianmorgancron&amp;related" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Click To Tweet</a></p>
<p><em>Embrace your powerlessness, and when you do that, you find power. @ianmorgancron</em><a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://careynieuwhof.com/episode411/&amp;text=Embrace your powerlessness, and when you do that, you find power. @ianmorgancron&amp;related" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Click To Tweet</a></p>
<p><em>Leaders can confuse vulnerability with weakness. @ianmorgancron</em><a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://careynieuwhof.com/episode411/&amp;text=Leaders can confuse vulnerability with weakness. @ianmorgancron&amp;related" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Click To Tweet</a></p>
<p><em>When people panic, they stop leading. @ianmorgancron</em><a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://careynieuwhof.com/episode411/&amp;text=When people panic, they stop leading. @ianmorgancron&amp;related" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Click To Tweet</a></p>
<p><em>You want to have relationships? Start practicing vulnerability. @ianmorgancron</em><a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://careynieuwhof.com/episode411/&amp;text=You want to have relationships? Start practicing vulnerability. @ianmorgancron&amp;related" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Click To Tweet</a></p>
<p><em>Technology is set up to create addicts. @ianmorgancron</em><a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://careynieuwhof.com/episode411/&amp;text=Technology is set up to create addicts. @ianmorgancron&amp;related" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Click To Tweet</a></p>
<p><em>We&#8217;re facing loneliness. And loneliness has reached epidemic proportions. @ianmorgancron</em><a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://careynieuwhof.com/episode411/&amp;text=We" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Click To Tweet</a></p>
<p><em>A lot of leaders live with the myth of invincibility. @ianmorgancron</em><a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://careynieuwhof.com/episode411/&amp;text=A lot of leaders live with the myth of invincibility. @ianmorgancron&amp;related" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Click To Tweet</a></p>
<p><em>You&#8217;ve got to lead people the way they want to be led.</em><a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://careynieuwhof.com/episode411/&amp;text=You" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Click To Tweet</a></p>
<p><em>Self-awareness is spiritual awareness.</em><a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://careynieuwhof.com/episode411/&amp;text=Self-awareness is spiritual awareness.&amp;via=cnieuwhof&amp;related=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Click To Tweet</a></p>
<h2><a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/CNLP_411-–With_-Ian-Morgan-Cron.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"><strong>Read or Download the Transcript for Episode 411</strong></a></h2>
<p>Looking for a key quote? More of a reader?</p>
<p>Read or download a free PDF transcript of this episode <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/CNLP_411-–With_-Ian-Morgan-Cron.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">here</a>.</p>
<h2>GET YOUR LIFE BACK</h2>
<p><a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/high-impact-leader-open-now/?utm_source=The High Impact Leader&amp;utm_medium=Podcast&amp;utm_campaign=CNLPShownotes_IanMorganCron_HighImpactLeader" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="alignnone size-large wp-image-76271 jetpack-lazy-image jetpack-lazy-image--handled" src="https://i2.wp.com/careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Open-Cart-3.png?resize=1024,1024&amp;ssl=1" alt="the high impact leader" width="1024" height="1024" data-recalc-dims="1" data-lazy-loaded="1" /></a></p>
<p>Do you want to unlock more of your potential in life and leadership without sacrificing time with your family and your health?</p>
<p>Sounds crazy, but it’s not. I know because I’ve lived it. A few years back, I seriously crashed and burned because the demands on my time and life were bigger than the time I had to accomplish them. I promised myself that wouldn’t happen again.</p>
<p>Today, I still have bigger goals than ever before, but I’ve made fundamental changes that have led to a healthier, happier lifestyle without sacrificing my family and vastly increasing my productivity at work. I’ve taken what I’ve learned during this journey and put it into <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/high-impact-leader-open-now/?utm_source=The High Impact Leader&amp;utm_medium=Podcast&amp;utm_campaign=CNLPShownotes_IanMorganCron_HighImpactLeader" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">The High Impact Leader</a> course.</p>
<p>You can complete the three-hour course at your own pace. It’s the most comprehensive content I’ve ever created for leaders to help you <i>reclaim HOURS </i>every day so you can become more effective at work and more present at home. When your time, energy, and priorities are all working together for you, it’ll impact everything you do.</p>
<p>You become a better leader, because you’re doing what you do best when you’re at your best<br />
You become a better spouse, because you’re focused at home<br />
You become a better parent, neighbor, and friend, because you actually have time off to relax and engage</p>
<p>These principles will free you to thrive in every area of your life.</p>
<p>You can <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/high-impact-leader-open-now/?utm_source=The High Impact Leader&amp;utm_medium=Podcast&amp;utm_campaign=CNLPShownotes_IanMorganCron_HighImpactLeader" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://thehighimpactleader.com/open-now&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1581988534773000&amp;usg=AFQjCNH2bv8otdf2wNCrEVdWblRdb8_D6A">learn more and gain instant access today</a>.</p>
<h2><strong><a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClUd0Z_Y7-PgkCjjwddM5Qw" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Watch Back Episodes of The Podcast on YouTube</a></strong></h2>
<p>Select episodes of this podcast are now on <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClUd0Z_Y7-PgkCjjwddM5Qw" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">YouTube</a>. Our <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClUd0Z_Y7-PgkCjjwddM5Qw" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">YouTube Channel</a> gives you a chance to watch some episodes, not just listen.</p>
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<h2><strong>Spread the Word. Leave a Rating and Review</strong></h2>
<p>Hopefully, this episode has helped you lead like never before. That’s my goal. If you appreciated it, could you share the love?</p>
<p>The best way to do that is to <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/carey-nieuwhof-leadership/id912753163?mt=2">rate the podcast on Apple Podcasts and leave us a brief review</a>! You can do the same on <a href="http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/the-carey-nieuwhof-leadership-podcast">Stitcher</a> and on <a href="http://tunein.com/radio/The-Carey-Nieuwhof-Leadership-Podcast-p649370/">TuneIn</a> as well.</p>
<p>Your ratings and reviews help us place the podcast in front of new leaders and listeners. Your feedback also lets me know how I can better serve you.</p>
<p>Thank you for being so awesome.</p>
<h2><strong>Next Episode: Annie F. Downs</strong></h2>
<p>Annie F. Downs returns to the podcast to talk about how she got her audience fully engaged in her book launch, which led to hitting the New York Times Bestsellers List. She unpacks how she gets her audience engaged in all her platforms, what she’s learned about podcasting and why hobbies and fun are lifelines for leaders.</p>
<p><a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/carey-nieuwhof-leadership/id912753163?mt=2">Subscribe for free</a> now so you won’t miss Episode 412.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="ss-hidden-pin-image" src="https://i0.wp.com/careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/CNLP-1200x630-Ian-Morgan-Cron.jpg?fit=1200,630&amp;ssl=1" alt="CNLP 411: Ian Morgan Cron Explains How Your Enneagram Type Responds to Chronic Stress and the Difference Between Fake Authenticity and True Vulnerability" data-pin-url="https://careynieuwhof.com/episode411/" data-pin-media="https://i0.wp.com/careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/CNLP-1200x630-Ian-Morgan-Cron.jpg?fit=1200,630&amp;ssl=1" data-pin-description="CNLP 411: Ian Morgan Cron Explains How Your Enneagram Type Responds to Chronic Stress and the Difference Between Fake Authenticity and True Vulnerability" /></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/episode411/" rel="nofollow">CNLP 411: Ian Morgan Cron Explains How Your Enneagram Type Responds to Chronic Stress and the Difference Between Fake Authenticity and True Vulnerability</a> appeared first on <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com" rel="nofollow">CareyNieuwhof.com</a>.</p>
<p>Source: <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/episode411/" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-wplink-edit="true">CNLP 411: Ian Morgan Cron Explains How Your Enneagram Type Responds to Chronic Stress and the Difference Between Fake Authenticity and True Vulnerability</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://church-planting.net/cnlp-411-ian-morgan-cron-explains-how-your-enneagram-type-responds-to-chronic-stress-and-the-difference-between-fake-authenticity-and-true-vulnerability/">CNLP 411: Ian Morgan Cron Explains How Your Enneagram Type Responds to Chronic Stress and the Difference Between Fake Authenticity and True Vulnerability</a> appeared first on <a href="https://church-planting.net">Passion for Planting</a>.</p>
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		<title>Resolve to Trust God</title>
		<link>https://church-planting.net/resolve-to-trust-god/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Sean Cronin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 01 Jan 2021 10:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[General Church Planting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Planter Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[goals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[new year]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[new year's resolutions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[resolutions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trusting God]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://newchurches.com/blogs/resolve-to-trust-god/</guid>

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<p>Home &#62; Blog &#62; Resolve to Trust God Resolve to Trust God By Michael Kelley I’m a resolution guy. Making and keeping track of resolutions annually helps me track my forward progress in certain areas of life. So every January, I evaluate my resolutions from the previous year and make [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://church-planting.net/resolve-to-trust-god/">Resolve to Trust God</a> appeared first on <a href="https://church-planting.net">Passion for Planting</a>.</p>
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<h4><a class="breadCrumbNc" href="https://newchurches.com">Home &gt;</a> <a class="breadCrumbNc" href="https://newchurches.com/blog">Blog &gt;</a> <span class="breadCrumbNcActive">Resolve to Trust God</span></h4>
<h1>Resolve to Trust God</h1>
<h4>By Michael Kelley</h4>
<p><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="attachment-post-thumbnail size-post-thumbnail wp-post-image" src="https://newchurches.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/danil-aksenov-gWZfmnDoL_E-unsplash-scaled-e1608645840885.jpg" alt="" width="1000" height="667" /></p>
<p>I’m a resolution guy. Making and keeping track of resolutions annually helps me track my forward progress in certain areas of life.</p>
<p>So every January, I evaluate my resolutions from the previous year and make new ones. For some time now, I’ve been dividing these resolutions into categories: financial, spiritual development, family, and ministry.</p>
<p>The New Year provides a good occasion to look back at how the previous year shaped up in these categories and then evaluate what the next step might be.</p>
<p>But here’s the thing about making resolutions like that: Often when you look back, you’re disappointed by your lack of effort in the previous year.</p>
<p>You look at those goals—those resolutions—and you think to yourself, <em>I really could have saved more. I could have exercised more. I could have read more. If only I had tried a little harder.</em></p>
<p>Then, when you look forward to what you want to accomplish and put your time and energy toward the next year, you do so with the attitude of, <em>I’m really going to try harder and get it this year.</em></p>
<h3>New Perspective</h3>
<p>Take a physical goal, for example. Let’s say that you want to lose 20 pounds. So you resolve that you’re going to try hard to do it. You try hard by throwing away all the leftover Christmas cookies in the house. You try hard by looking up all the low-calorie recipes you can find.</p>
<p>You try hard by signing up for a gym membership and purchasing a second alarm clock you set and place across the room so when you turn off the first one, you still have to get up because the other one is ringing. Effort abounds, and you do try hard.</p>
<p>Or you do for a while. Then you take a day off. You eat a little more. You find a reason not to follow through, and slowly but surely, your resolve weakens and your effort wanes.</p>
<p>The problem with trying hard like that is you run out of steam. Always. But what if there was a better way to try? This year, I want to try hard, but I want to try hard at the right thing. I want to try hard at that which God prizes in His people. I’m going to try hard to believe.</p>
<p>We often make the mistake of thinking that resolutions are about willpower. Though certainly that’s a big part of it, the truth is every decision we make is, at some level, driven and maintained by faith. What we believe will in the end determine what we do. Think about it again in terms of the diet.</p>
<p>In the case of losing 20 pounds, instead of just trying harder to eat right and go to the gym, I’m going to focus my primary effort elsewhere. I’m going to attack the root of the issue at the faith level.</p>
<p>Instead of focusing my effort on the weight, I’m going to try hard to believe my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. I’m going to try hard to believe God will empower me to honor Him with my body. I’m going to try hard to believe He’s my sustenance—not another bag of potato chips.</p>
<p>There’s a huge difference. One is centered on sweat; the other is centered on faith. One lifts up the power of humanity; the other lifts up the power of God. One is about me; the other is about the Gospel.</p>
<p>Perhaps we shouldn’t be asking, “Why can’t I try hard enough to accomplish the things I have resolved to do?” Maybe we should instead be asking what we should be trying hard to believe about God and His work in our lives. Perhaps it’s that belief—that faith—that can result in the change we need.</p>
<p>This year, resolve to try hard, but to try hard at the right thing. Faith is the center of all things—even trying harder.</p>
</div>
<p>Source: <a href="https://newchurches.com/blogs/resolve-to-trust-god/" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-wplink-edit="true">Resolve to Trust God</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://church-planting.net/resolve-to-trust-god/">Resolve to Trust God</a> appeared first on <a href="https://church-planting.net">Passion for Planting</a>.</p>
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		<title>7 Habits of Generation Z That Your Church Might Be Ignoring</title>
		<link>https://church-planting.net/7-habits-of-generation-z-that-your-church-might-be-ignoring/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Esther Ritchey]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 08 Aug 2020 09:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[General Church Planting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Outreach]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[apology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[attention span]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Branding]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Carey Nieuwhof]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dillon smith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[diversity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[followup]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gen Z]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[independence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[internet culture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[me centered]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category>
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<p>By: Carey Nieuwhof This post is written by Dillon Smith, a Gen Z team member of mine. There’s no doubt that Gen Z has some different habits than previous generations. Thanks to the internet and smartphones, the environment that we’ve grown up in is completely unique, and unlike any generation [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://church-planting.net/7-habits-of-generation-z-that-your-church-might-be-ignoring/">7 Habits of Generation Z That Your Church Might Be Ignoring</a> appeared first on <a href="https://church-planting.net">Passion for Planting</a>.</p>
]]></description>
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<p>By: Carey Nieuwhof</p>


<p><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="alignnone size-large wp-image-148266" src="https://i2.wp.com/careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/shutterstock_1154420221.jpg?resize=1024,683&amp;ssl=1" alt="" width="1024" height="683" data-recalc-dims="1" /></p>
<p><em>This post is written by <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/speaking/dillon-smith/">Dillon Smith</a>, a Gen Z team member of mine.</em></p>
<p>There’s no doubt that Gen Z has some different habits than previous generations.</p>
<p>Thanks to the internet and smartphones, the environment that we’ve grown up in is completely unique, and unlike any generation before.</p>
<p>We spend more time online, go outside less, and care about wildly different things than our parents did when they were kids.</p>
<p>You might look at these habits and think that these habits are “just a phase” or that we’ll “grow out of it.”</p>
<p>We won’t.</p>
<p>I’m 22, and I still watch <strong>A TON</strong> of YouTube. Even post-graduation, my classmates still spend a ton of time on Instagram and TikTok. None of us plan on making any of these a smaller part of our lives.</p>
<p>So for the church: How do you become a bigger part of our lives online?</p>
<p>Well, first, I think you need to be aware of how and why we behave and think the way we do.</p>
<p>I’m seeing 7 habits of Generation Z that your church might be ignoring. Here’s the list:</p>
<h2><strong>1. I watch who I want, when I want</strong></h2>
<p>The internet has given me the freedom to watch exactly who I want, when I want.</p>
<p>So, the only reason my friends or I are watching your church online is either because our parents are making us, or because we deeply care about what you have to say.</p>
<p>There are just too many other appealing ways to pass the time for us to waste our time on something that isn’t helpful or fun to watch.</p>
<p><strong>So what does this mean for teaching pastors and service programming directors?</strong></p>
<p>10 seconds of boring is enough to lose a Gen Z viewer.</p>
<p>Every second of online content you produce needs to add value in an efficient and engaging way.</p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-tweet" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=10+seconds+of+boring+is+enough+to+lose+a+Gen+Z+viewer.+Every+second+of+online+content+you+produce+needs+to+add+value+in+an+efficient+and+engaging+way.+@Dillon_M_Smith&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet">10 seconds of boring is enough to lose a Gen Z viewer. Every second of online content you produce needs to add value in an efficient and engaging way. @Dillon_M_Smith</a></p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-link" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=10+seconds+of+boring+is+enough+to+lose+a+Gen+Z+viewer.+Every+second+of+online+content+you+produce+needs+to+add+value+in+an+efficient+and+engaging+way.+@Dillon_M_Smith&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet"><br />Click to Tweet<br /><i class="ss ss-twitter"></i><br /></a></p>
<p>END .ss-ctt-wrapper</p>
<h2><strong>2. If you want me to follow you for a long time, I need to get to know you</strong></h2>
<p>Our spirituality is one of the most sacred and private things we have, and if you want Gen Z to trust you with our time and subscription, we need to trust you.</p>
<p>And, a weekly sermon just doesn’t cut it for us.</p>
<p>In this digital era, churches should be producing more personal content online, not less.</p>
<p>There are tons of Twitch streamers and YouTubers who are doing this well. As church leaders, it’s about time that we start learning from them.</p>
<p>The single best YouTuber I’ve found at building a feeling of community and trust is a guy named Matt Carriker. Matt (who happens to be a Christian) has built three massively successful YouTube channels that have a combined total of 15.26 million subscribers.</p>
<p>His <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/mlcarriker" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">OffTheRanch channel</a> is a personal vlog, and his fastest-growing channel that allows his viewers to see into his family, his hobbies, his character flaws, his ideas, and his work. By taking us into his real life, it builds more trust and community within his audience.</p>
<p>I think churches could do something similar.</p>
<p>Lead pastors could take the vlog camera home and show some of how they parent, or the staff could bring the vlog to worship practice or community service projects to show how the church is run throughout the week.</p>
<p>It’s just an idea, but ideas like this are going to reach my generation.</p>
<p>If you want more on how to create videos that people love to watch and engage with, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/videoinfluencers" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Sean Cannell’s Video Influencers</a> would be another great channel to check out. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XW9PdqKfb6k" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Here’s Sean’s recent interview on Carey’s podcast.</a></p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-tweet" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=In+this+digital+era,+pastors+should+be+producing+more+personal+content+online,+not+less.+@Dillon_M_Smith&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet">In this digital era, pastors should be producing more personal content online, not less. @Dillon_M_Smith</a></p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-link" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=In+this+digital+era,+pastors+should+be+producing+more+personal+content+online,+not+less.+@Dillon_M_Smith&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet"><br />Click to Tweet<br /><i class="ss ss-twitter"></i><br /></a></p>
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<h2><strong>3. I’ve been trained to view myself as a brand</strong></h2>
<p>Thanks to platforms like Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok, I’ve grown up viewing myself as my own brand.</p>
<p>I don’t think this mindset is healthy, but I do think it’s accurate. And as the church, we’re called to reach people where they actually are, not where we would hope they’d be.</p>
<p>If you want to reach a “me-centered” generation, show us what’s in it for us.</p>
<p>One biblical angle to take with this is to change your church’s focus from the Sunday experience to what the church is doing throughout the week. Show us how we can join your movement and not just build your platform.</p>
<p>This might be a bit closer to how the church was designed to function anyways. ?</p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-tweet" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=If+you+want+to+reach+a+“me-centered”+generation,+show+us+what’s+in+it+for+us.+@Dillon_M_Smith&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet">If you want to reach a “me-centered” generation, show us what’s in it for us. @Dillon_M_Smith</a></p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-link" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=If+you+want+to+reach+a+“me-centered”+generation,+show+us+what’s+in+it+for+us.+@Dillon_M_Smith&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet"><br />Click to Tweet<br /><i class="ss ss-twitter"></i><br /></a></p>
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<h2><strong>4. Gen Z would prefer to avoid our parent’s generation on social media</strong></h2>
<p>When I look back at my time in school, new social media apps like Vine, YikYak, Kik, and TikTok would come up in popularity in phases.</p>
<p>The life cycle of a new app would look like this:</p>
<p>A new app would release<br />It would become popular because our parents had no idea about it yet<br />Our parents would find out about it and create an account or have the school block it<br />We would all abandon it for the next app<br />Repeat</p>
<p>I think this is part of why TikTok exploded like it did, and why many of the young people I know are spending less time on Facebook and Instagram and more time on TikTok. <strong>It’s still cool to avoid our parent’s generation online.</strong></p>
<p>So, for you and your church, I’ve got a few strategies to think about:</p>
<p>Even as new apps become popular, I still follow Craig Groeschel on Instagram and YouTube. I follow him because I trust him, and I’ll still watch him on those platforms because I know he’ll be there. If you’re a senior pastor, stick to where your people know you are, and double down.<br />For taking new ground on new apps (like TikTok), let a young staff member or young volunteer take the lead. Let the student ministry put effort towards experimental apps, and as the average age of an app’s users increases, begin to add adult-focused content.<br />No matter how old you are, don’t try to be someone you aren’t. If I see John Piper dancing on TikTok tomorrow, I’m going to be more concerned and less likely to follow him. No matter the platform, being authentically you is the best way forward.</p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-tweet" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=No+matter+the+platform,+being+authentically+you+is+the+best+way+forward.+@Dillon_M_Smith&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet">No matter the platform, being authentically you is the best way forward. @Dillon_M_Smith</a></p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-link" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=No+matter+the+platform,+being+authentically+you+is+the+best+way+forward.+@Dillon_M_Smith&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet"><br />Click to Tweet<br /><i class="ss ss-twitter"></i><br /></a></p>
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<h2><strong>5. Diversity isn’t optional</strong></h2>
<p>A couple of years ago, Greg Atkinson told me that if you want to reach the next generation, having a diverse church isn’t optional. He’s right.</p>
<p>Our schools are diverse, our workplaces are diverse, and our friend groups are diverse. If your church isn’t at least as diverse as the school we grew up in, we will question you as an organization.</p>
<p>As Derwin Gray and Darryn Scheske pointed out on a recent ChurchPulse Weekly podcast episode:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 40px;"><em>“Young adults aren’t leaving the church, they’re leaving the white church.”</em></p>
<p>If you want more on leading a diverse church, <a href="https://churchpulseweekly.org/2020/07/derwin-gray-darryn-scheske/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">this interview is a great place to start.</a></p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-tweet" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=If+your+church+isn’t+at+least+as+diverse+as+the+school+Gen+Z+grew+up+in,+we'll+question+you+as+an+organization.+@Dillon_M_Smith&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet">If your church isn’t at least as diverse as the school Gen Z grew up in, we&#8217;ll question you as an organization. @Dillon_M_Smith</a></p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-link" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=If+your+church+isn’t+at+least+as+diverse+as+the+school+Gen+Z+grew+up+in,+we'll+question+you+as+an+organization.+@Dillon_M_Smith&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet"><br />Click to Tweet<br /><i class="ss ss-twitter"></i><br /></a></p>
<p>END .ss-ctt-wrapper</p>
<h2><strong>6. My mental health issues aren’t going away</strong></h2>
<p>One of the biggest issues facing the next generation is a sharp decline in mental health.</p>
<p>Here’s the strange part: We’re fully aware of the mental health crisis, and what’s causing it, but our phones are too good to give up.</p>
<p>The rewards of the internet outweigh the risks for us.</p>
<p>So, how can you help?</p>
<p>Sadly, a sermon series once a year isn’t enough to reach a generation plagued with anxiety. The church needs a better solution.</p>
<p>Maybe it’s opening a counseling wing attached to your church. Maybe it’s making mental health a regular focus of your young adult ministry or small group or something else entirely. Whatever it is, this is a felt need that we have year-round that the church can’t ignore.</p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-tweet" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=A+sermon+series+once+a+year+isn’t+enough+to+reach+a+generation+plagued+with+anxiety.+The+church+needs+a+better+solution.+@Dillon_M_Smith&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet">A sermon series once a year isn’t enough to reach a generation plagued with anxiety. The church needs a better solution. @Dillon_M_Smith</a></p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-link" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=A+sermon+series+once+a+year+isn’t+enough+to+reach+a+generation+plagued+with+anxiety.+The+church+needs+a+better+solution.+@Dillon_M_Smith&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet"><br />Click to Tweet<br /><i class="ss ss-twitter"></i><br /></a></p>
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<h2><strong>7. When I talk to my non-Christian friends about church, I usually need to lead with an apology</strong></h2>
<p>During my first couple of years of bible college, I was a server and bartender at a restaurant in downtown Omaha.</p>
<p>All but two of my coworkers were 16 to 30-year-olds who were either atheist or agnostic, and almost all of them had stories about how the church had hurt them or their families.</p>
<p>So, if I wanted to have any form of evangelistic/spiritual conversation with them, I had to first apologize (for something I had nothing to do with) and convince them that not every Christian is judgmental or abusive.</p>
<p>This is true for most of the people my age.</p>
<p>If the church wants to reach the next generation, justified or not, you’ll need to apologize to most of the next generation first.</p>
<p>I wish this weren’t true. And I wish it were just an isolated thing, but it’s not.</p>
<p>As evidence that this wasn’t just my experience, I posted a tweet last week in a moment of stress that I would not be so quick to post again. The tweet said;</p>
<p style="padding-left: 40px;"><em>“As a 22-year old Christian, too often it feels like I’m a Christian in spite of the Church rather than because of the church.”</em></p>
<p>Again, if I could go back in time I don’t think I’d tweet this again, but one thing that <strong>shocked</strong> me was the response I saw.</p>
<p>It was by far the most liked and retweeted tweet I’ve ever shared.</p>
<p>And you know who did nearly all of the liking and retweeting?</p>
<p><strong>Gen Z Christians.</strong></p>
<p>They responded with things like</p>
<p style="padding-left: 40px;"><em>“Oof, I feel this.” </em><br /><em>“This is sadly true.”</em><br /><em>“Same.”</em><br /><em>“I would share if I didn’t think it would create a storm I’m not prepared to tackle.”</em></p>
<p>This massive response tells me that the emotion I was feeling when I originally posted the tweet is hitting a chord with the rest of my generation. It’s telling me that the tweet might be more right than I know.</p>
<p>As the Church, we need to get ahead of this.</p>
<p>We need to follow Jeff Henderson’s advice and make sure our communities know what we’re FOR rather than what we’re against, and we need to apologize to those we’ve hurt, even if it wasn’t us who did it.</p>
<p>If we don’t do this, more and more irrelevance and hate await the bride of Christ.</p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-tweet" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=If+the+church+wants+to+reach+the+next+generation,+justified+or+not,+you’ll+need+to+apologize+to+most+of+the+next+generation+first.+@Dillon_M_Smith&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet">If the church wants to reach the next generation, justified or not, you’ll need to apologize to most of the next generation first. @Dillon_M_Smith</a></p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-link" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=If+the+church+wants+to+reach+the+next+generation,+justified+or+not,+you’ll+need+to+apologize+to+most+of+the+next+generation+first.+@Dillon_M_Smith&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet"><br />Click to Tweet<br /><i class="ss ss-twitter"></i><br /></a></p>
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<h2><strong>If You Don’t Have A Healthy Culture, You Won’t Reach Us Either…</strong></h2>
<p><a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/develop-better-value-statements-3"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="alignnone wp-image-148040 size-large" src="https://i2.wp.com/careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/1200x630-The-3-Step-Guide-1.png?resize=1024,538&amp;ssl=1" alt="" width="732" height="384" /></a></p>
<p>Want to improve your team culture?</p>
<p>Better team culture gets fueled by better value statements.</p>
<p>But how to do create them can be so complicated.</p>
<p>How:</p>
<p>Do you know which values to choose?<br />Do you avoid creating value statements people roll their eyes at or think are so obvious they mean nothing?<br />Can you be sure the values are accurate but still stretch you?</p>
<p>I spent years reading books and studying how to create value statements until I had a breakthrough on how to create cultural value statements that were both accurate and aspirational, and that the entire team embraced.</p>
<p>I’ve broken that process down into three simple steps that can get you improving your organization’s culture and values today.</p>
<p>You <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/develop-better-value-statements-3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">can get free instant access to The 3 Step Guide to Developing Better Value Statements here.</a></p>
<h2><strong>Is there more? </strong></h2>
<p>Did I miss anything? Are there other habits of Gen-Z that we’re missing? Did you find this article helpful?</p>
<p>Leave a comment below and let us know.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="ss-hidden-pin-image" src="https://i2.wp.com/careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/shutterstock_1154420221.jpg?fit=5818,3879&amp;ssl=1" alt="7 Habits of Generation Z That Your Church Might Be Ignoring" data-pin-url="https://careynieuwhof.com/7-habits-of-generation-z-that-your-church-might-be-ignoring/" data-pin-media="https://i2.wp.com/careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/shutterstock_1154420221.jpg?fit=5818,3879&amp;ssl=1" data-pin-description="7 Habits of Generation Z That Your Church Might Be Ignoring" /></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/7-habits-of-generation-z-that-your-church-might-be-ignoring/" rel="nofollow">7 Habits of Generation Z That Your Church Might Be Ignoring</a> appeared first on <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com" rel="nofollow">CareyNieuwhof.com</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Source: <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/7-habits-of-generation-z-that-your-church-might-be-ignoring/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" data-wplink-edit="true">7 Habits of Generation Z That Your Church Might Be Ignoring</a></p><p>The post <a href="https://church-planting.net/7-habits-of-generation-z-that-your-church-might-be-ignoring/">7 Habits of Generation Z That Your Church Might Be Ignoring</a> appeared first on <a href="https://church-planting.net">Passion for Planting</a>.</p>
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		<title>3 Things to Consider Before Giving Up on Your Spouse</title>
		<link>https://church-planting.net/3-things-to-consider-before-giving-up-on-your-spouse/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Esther Ritchey]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 16 Jul 2020 09:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[General Church Planting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Planter Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Before you split]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Carey Nieuwhof]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[character]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Giving up on marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[honesty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hope]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Growth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[responsibility]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Toni Nieuwhof]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://careynieuwhof.com/3-things-to-consider-before-giving-up-on-your-spouse/</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<div><img width="250" height="250" src="https://church-planting.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/carey-nieuwhof.jpg" class="attachment-full size-full wp-post-image" alt="www.careynieuwhof.com" id="featured-image" style="margin-bottom: 15px;" decoding="async" loading="lazy" /></div>
<p>By: Carey Nieuwhof You’ve heard people say that marriage can be hard, but you didn’t know it could be this hard. You married with the hope of sharing your life with someone who’s as pumped to make the most of it as you are, so how did the two of [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://church-planting.net/3-things-to-consider-before-giving-up-on-your-spouse/">3 Things to Consider Before Giving Up on Your Spouse</a> appeared first on <a href="https://church-planting.net">Passion for Planting</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><img width="250" height="250" src="https://church-planting.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/carey-nieuwhof.jpg" class="attachment-full size-full wp-post-image" alt="www.careynieuwhof.com" id="featured-image" style="margin-bottom: 15px;" decoding="async" loading="lazy" /></div>
<p>By: Carey Nieuwhof</p>


<p><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="alignnone size-large wp-image-146755" src="https://i0.wp.com/careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Carey-and-Toni-2.jpeg?resize=1024,683&amp;ssl=1" alt="" width="1024" height="683" data-recalc-dims="1" /></p>
<p>You’ve heard people say that marriage can be hard, but you didn’t know it could be this hard.</p>
<p>You married with the hope of sharing your life with someone who’s as pumped to make the most of it as you are, so how did the two of you end up here? Maybe the turbulence of the recent months – with lifestyle disruption, threat of COVID and economic uncertainty – is taking its toll on how you both feel.</p>
<p>Your daily activities are no longer what they used to be, and while there some changes you enjoy, your marriage feels worse than before.</p>
<p>Lockdown has amplified all the annoying habits of your spouse. He chews his food too loud. She never gets out of yoga pants. You wonder to yourself, if you ever need to be quarantined again in the future, is this the person you want to be quarantined with?</p>
<p>As a divorce attorney and mediator, I’ve walked with hundreds of people who’ve left unhappy marriages. If you’re like many of us, you’re not dealing with a harmful or toxic marriage, but an unhappy one.</p>
<p>The line between harmful and unhappy is not black and white, and you may need to reach out to someone wise you trust to help you discern the difference.</p>
<p>If you’re like most unhappily married people, when your disappointment feels strong, you wonder whether you’ve signed up for a lifetime of misery.</p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-tweet" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=If+you’re+like+most+unhappily+married+people,+when+your+disappointment+feels+strong,+you+wonder+whether+you’ve+signed+up+for+a+lifetime+of+misery.+-+@ToniNieuwhof&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet">If you’re like most unhappily married people, when your disappointment feels strong, you wonder whether you’ve signed up for a lifetime of misery. &#8211; @ToniNieuwhof</a></p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-link" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=If+you’re+like+most+unhappily+married+people,+when+your+disappointment+feels+strong,+you+wonder+whether+you’ve+signed+up+for+a+lifetime+of+misery.+-+@ToniNieuwhof&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet"><br />Click to Tweet<br /><i class="ss ss-twitter"></i><br /></a></p>
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<p>I get it. There are times every marriage feels hard, even impossible. In today’s blog, I’m asking you to set aside your cynicism, your disappointment and your disillusionment for a few moments to ponder a few thoughts about separating .</p>
<p>Why am I writing? Because I’m so grateful there were people, including friends, speakers, authors and counsellors who I listened to and learned from while our marriage felt like it was breaking down.</p>
<p>Carey and I now enjoy a thriving marriage we wouldn’t dream of leaving. Who knows? Maybe one of these 3 things will help you start to move out of your distress, too:</p>
<h2><strong>1. Your Victim Story Will Blind You</strong></h2>
<p>Let me guess – so you think it’s all your spouse’s fault your marriage is so hard?</p>
<p>For many years when Carey and I had heated arguments, I would withdraw.</p>
<p>I would slip off into my own little world and go silent and become basically unreachable. But going silent wasn’t Carey’s wiring and it drove him crazy. I would insist he leave me alone while he persistently tried to draw me back into some kind of engagement. I labeled Carey’s behaviour as aggressive and this dynamic carried on over time only led us into bitterness and resentment.</p>
<p>Years in without realizing it, I was telling myself a victim story that threatened to derail us. It was a tangled version of I can’t do this anymore and if only he would also fight for peace and leave me alone… Turns out, my victim story distorted the truth.</p>
<p>When I slipped into silence during an argument, I wasn’t simply ‘fighting for peace’ – I was also stonewalling. There were times when I withdrew into my self-made fortress and treated every advance by Carey as an attack.</p>
<p>It was only after I absorbed the wisdom of counselors, engaged in some serious self-reflection, and developed the maturity to face my own blind spots that I could see my role more accurately.</p>
<p>My victim story was clouding my vision.</p>
<p>When it comes to relationships, if there’s a victim, there’s a perpetrator. When you adopt a victim mindset especially in marriage, the psychology of ‘we’re a team’ breaks down. Then you feel divided and disconnected from each other.</p>
<p>The vast majority of my family law clients saw themselves as having been victimized by their spouse in some way. Most people who were leaving said their spouse was emotionally abusive.</p>
<p>That label has really caught on. A victim narrative is problematic because it takes relational dynamics with inherent complexity and oversimplifies them.</p>
<p>You, like me, will have a human tendency to oversimplify the story in your favour, to help you avoid pain and cause you the least personal discomfort.</p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-tweet" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=A+victim+narrative+is+problematic+because+it+takes+relational+dynamics+with+inherent+complexity+and+oversimplifies+them.+-+@ToniNieuwhof&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet">A victim narrative is problematic because it takes relational dynamics with inherent complexity and oversimplifies them. &#8211; @ToniNieuwhof</a></p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-link" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=A+victim+narrative+is+problematic+because+it+takes+relational+dynamics+with+inherent+complexity+and+oversimplifies+them.+-+@ToniNieuwhof&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet"><br />Click to Tweet<br /><i class="ss ss-twitter"></i><br /></a></p>
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<p>Is there a subject you and your spouse avoid because one or both of you gets triggered when you broach it?</p>
<p>How to get the other to stop being so negative? How to fight clean instead of ‘dirty’? How to solve that nagging parenting problem? How to handle your growing money problem? How to fix your failing relationship? How much sex?</p>
<p>Chances are, you both believe the other person’s to blame for the unsolved problem(s) in your relationship.</p>
<p>You too, may have a victim story running in the background, blinding you to your own part in whatever your problem may be. But if you walk away without trying to spot your own role or offense, you’ll leave believing your part truth, part fiction victim story.</p>
<p>If I’d walked away when my victim story spoke to me the loudest, I would have carried the same stonewalling-under-the-guise-of-peace tendency into my next relationship.</p>
<p>Maybe after two or three partners, the part of my story that was fictional would become more visible. I’m grateful it didn’t happen that way.</p>
<p>And you don’t need to wait for the passage of time and experiences of life to open your eyes to the whole truth, either. As long as your marriage is unhappy and not toxic, you are not a victim. While the ‘blame’ for the struggles between you may not even out at 50:50, and perhaps your spouse is 90% responsible – you still have your 10% to own.</p>
<p>Make yourself a promise to look for your part. Avoid passively allowing time to teach you.</p>
<p>Search for the fictional part of your victim story, with humility. When you find it, own it, apologize for it, and start taking steps to make it right.</p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-tweet" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=Chances+are,+you+both+believe+the+other+person’s+to+blame+for+the+unsolved+problem(s)+in+your+relationship.+-+@ToniNieuwhof&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet">Chances are, you both believe the other person’s to blame for the unsolved problem(s) in your relationship. &#8211; @ToniNieuwhof</a></p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-link" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=Chances+are,+you+both+believe+the+other+person’s+to+blame+for+the+unsolved+problem(s)+in+your+relationship.+-+@ToniNieuwhof&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet"><br />Click to Tweet<br /><i class="ss ss-twitter"></i><br /></a></p>
<p>END .ss-ctt-wrapper</p>
<h2><strong>2. You May Be Listening to the Wrong Messages</strong></h2>
<p>Your friends will influence you either to lean into or away from your marriage. Research shows how much your marriage decisions are influenced by the people around you. In recent years, neuroscientific research has uncovered fascinating insight into how our brains respond to the influence of the brains of the people we surround ourselves with. Moran Cerf, a neuroscientist and professor at Northwestern University, has done research into the social aspect of decision-making. As one reporter says of Cerf’s research:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 40px;">So long as we make the right choices, the thinking goes, we’ll put ourselves on a path toward life satisfaction.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 40px;">Cerf rejects that idea. The truth is, decision-making is fraught with biases that cloud our judgment. People misremember bad experiences as good and vice versa; they let their emotions turn a rational choice into an irrational one; and they use social cues, even subconsciously, to make choices they’d otherwise avoid…”</p>
<p style="padding-left: 40px;">His neuroscience research has found that when two people are in each other’s company, their brain waves will begin to look nearly identical.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 40px;">Says Cerf, “This means the people you hang out with actually have an impact on your engagement with reality beyond what you can explain. And one of the effects is you become alike.”</p>
<p>Cerf’s research findings don’t strike us as counterintuitive; in fact, our life experiences have already taught us that people tend to rub off on each other. We become more like the people we keep company with.</p>
<p>If the norm among your friends or social circle is to get a divorce when the marriage feels over, then according to the research, divorce becomes a more likely outcome for you too. But it doesn’t have to be.</p>
<p>You already know that you choose the company you keep and the voices you listen to. Look around you. Are the people you’re closest to cheering for your marriage? Or are they cheering for you to walk away?</p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-tweet" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=Look+around+you.+Are+the+people+you’re+closest+to+cheering+for+your+marriage?+Or+are+they+cheering+for+you+to+walk+away?+-+@ToniNieuwhof&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet">Look around you. Are the people you’re closest to cheering for your marriage? Or are they cheering for you to walk away? &#8211; @ToniNieuwhof</a></p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-link" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=Look+around+you.+Are+the+people+you’re+closest+to+cheering+for+your+marriage?+Or+are+they+cheering+for+you+to+walk+away?+-+@ToniNieuwhof&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet"><br />Click to Tweet<br /><i class="ss ss-twitter"></i><br /></a></p>
<p>END .ss-ctt-wrapper</p>
<p>While you need friends who will be with you through the ups and downs, you may need to be selective about who you receive advice from. Do the messages of your friends bring you comfort, or wisdom?</p>
<p>If you were choosing between two job offers or two cities to relocate to, I’m guessing you would weigh the pros and the cons. You would try to see both the risks and the benefits as objectively as possible. You might also visualize what life would look like down the road for each option.</p>
<p>But for me, during our rough season of marriage, that kind of objectivity was hard to grasp through desperate emotions. Your pain will push you to give up, and may even cause you to visualize what a new chapter of love might look like.</p>
<p>But add your pain to the voices or influence of people around you who have left marriages, and you may do what you never would never do with any other major life decision.</p>
<p>You may be drawn by your emotions and the social influence of your friends to only see the pros and not the cons of walking away.</p>
<p>What to do? If you’re feeling stuck and unhappy in your marriage, you need to seek out some other voices to give you informed perspectives about your options.</p>
<p>Commit to spending more time with people who value their marriage and yours. Invest in a relationship with a couple who have gone through unhappy seasons but are now deeply satisfied.</p>
<p>Combat your internal resistance toward finding a qualified marriage counselor who comes with great reviews from couples who were distressed but aren’t anymore. Sign up for a marriage course, retreat or marriage support group.</p>
<p>There are people who have invaluable messages for you while you’re struggling with your marriage, but chances are they won’t just show up. You need to make the effort to seek them out.</p>
<p>Choose to listen for wisdom over comfort.</p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-tweet" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=There+are+people+who+have+invaluable+messages+for+you+while+you’re+struggling+with+your+marriage,+but+chances+are+they+won’t+just+show+up.+You+need+to+make+the+effort+to+seek+them+out.+-+@ToniNieuwhof&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet">There are people who have invaluable messages for you while you’re struggling with your marriage, but chances are they won’t just show up. You need to make the effort to seek them out. &#8211; @ToniNieuwhof</a></p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-link" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=There+are+people+who+have+invaluable+messages+for+you+while+you’re+struggling+with+your+marriage,+but+chances+are+they+won’t+just+show+up.+You+need+to+make+the+effort+to+seek+them+out.+-+@ToniNieuwhof&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet"><br />Click to Tweet<br /><i class="ss ss-twitter"></i><br /></a></p>
<p>END .ss-ctt-wrapper</p>
<h2><strong>3. You Won’t Feel the Costs of Leaving Until You’ve Left</strong></h2>
<p>Ever witnessed a divorce that seemed hasty and premature? After dotting the I’s and crossing the t’s on the divorce settlement, I had a few clients who said, “If I’d only known then what I know now, I would’ve tried harder to save my marriage.”</p>
<p>There’s no way around it: splitting isn’t going to look or feel the way you imagine.</p>
<p>I walked through divorce with many clients who were shocked by the gap between what they expected after separating and what they experienced.</p>
<p>They had a hard time coming to terms with it. If you’ve been married any length of time, and especially if you have kids, even an out-of-court divorce will be harder and more complicated than you imagine.</p>
<p>Many of the parents I advised told me the primary reason they were walking away was to stop the negative impact of their fighting or their indifference toward each other on their kids.</p>
<p>The sad reality is that the fighting didn’t stop and their indifference proved to be problematic after they walked away in most cases.</p>
<p>Your divorce leaves its mark on your kids, and despite your best intentions, the emotional impact of your broken relationship will escalate as you’re forced to make critical decisions after splitting.</p>
<p>Who pays the price for escalating conflict? You all do, but your kids may pay more than you think.</p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-tweet" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=Who+pays+the+price+for+escalating+conflict?+You+all+do,+but+your+kids+may+pay+more+than+you+think.+-+@ToniNieuwhof&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet">Who pays the price for escalating conflict? You all do, but your kids may pay more than you think. &#8211; @ToniNieuwhof</a></p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-link" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=Who+pays+the+price+for+escalating+conflict?+You+all+do,+but+your+kids+may+pay+more+than+you+think.+-+@ToniNieuwhof&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet"><br />Click to Tweet<br /><i class="ss ss-twitter"></i><br /></a></p>
<p>END .ss-ctt-wrapper</p>
<p>Either through your own experience or that of others, you’ve seen the other consequences of divorce. Maybe you’ve helped a friend through the grief of their marriage breakdown. Maybe you’ve seen how the demands of making divorce arrangements pushed other priorities such as work or personal health further down the list.</p>
<p>I’m sure you’ve heard about the financial loss people suffer when they divide the family income between two separate households. The costs of separating only become stark reality when you take the real steps.</p>
<p>Please don’t hear me say that divorce is never an option. In some cases, the divorce is hard but spares the family from further harm. However, don’t make a hasty decision to split. Listen to wisdom first.</p>
<p>Choose the hard work of facing the fictions in your own victim story. Chances are, your courage combined with action will keep you from the regret of wishing you’d tried harder.</p>
<p>You may believe it’s your spouse who needs to do the hard work, not you. But this decision is high stakes, and you have more influence than you think. So, where do you start? While there are many useful steps you can take, I have a couple of ideas that I believe can help.</p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-tweet" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=Don’t+make+a+hasty+decision+to+split.+Listen+to+wisdom+first.+-+@ToniNieuwhof&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet">Don’t make a hasty decision to split. Listen to wisdom first. &#8211; @ToniNieuwhof</a></p>
<p><a class="ss-ctt-link" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=Don’t+make+a+hasty+decision+to+split.+Listen+to+wisdom+first.+-+@ToniNieuwhof&amp;url=https://careynieuwhof.com/feed/?utm_source=twitter&amp;utm_medium=website&amp;utm_campaign=SocialSnap&amp;via=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-title="Click to Tweet"><br />Click to Tweet<br /><i class="ss ss-twitter"></i><br /></a></p>
<p>END .ss-ctt-wrapper</p>
<h2><strong>Some Help:</strong></h2>
<p><a href="https://mailchi.mp/f5e8012914fb/mailing-list-2"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="alignnone wp-image-146774 size-full" src="https://i1.wp.com/careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Lead-Magnet-Blog-Graphic-3.png?resize=531,531&amp;ssl=1" alt="" width="531" height="531" data-recalc-dims="1" /></a></p>
<p>I’m offering a guide designed to help you move past your unhappiness: Six Things Unhappy Couples Say and What To Do About Them.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 40px;"><a href="https://mailchi.mp/f5e8012914fb/mailing-list-2" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">To access your free copy, click here.</a></p>
<p>To hear more about what to do when marriage feels hard, tune into our podcast interview with acclaimed <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sfp-018-dr-gary-chapman-on-how-covid-19-has-affected/id1497316466?i=1000483448026" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">marriage expert Dr. Gary Chapman here.</a></p>
<p>If I could sum up all these words in just a few, I would say listen up before giving up.</p>
<p>When Carey and I were in the middle of our dark days, I didn’t know it at the time, but I had more to learn than I ever dreamed. Our relationship now is hardly recognizable in comparison. We’re close together, facing life in the same direction.</p>
<p>We’re sharing intimacy and facing our challenges with locked-arm strength instead of division.</p>
<p>Listen up before giving up.</p>
<p><a href="https://mailchi.mp/f5e8012914fb/mailing-list-2" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">And don’t forget to get your copy of <em>6 Things Unhealthy Couples Say </em>here!</a></p>
<p><em>This is a guest post written by Toni Nieuwhof. Toni is Carey Nieuwhof’s wife. She’s also the host of <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/smart-family-podcast/id1497316466" rel="noopener noreferrer">The Smart Family Podcas</a>t, and a member of our <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/speaking/toni-nieuwhof/">speaking team,</a> and is available for podcast and media interviews on family and relationship issues (inquire <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/speaking/toni-nieuwhof/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">here</a>). </em></p>
<h2><strong>What about you?</strong></h2>
<p>What personal change do you need to make to tear down some walls and move closer?</p>
<p>Leave a comment below!</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="ss-hidden-pin-image" src="https://i0.wp.com/careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Carey-and-Toni-2.jpeg?fit=2048,1366&amp;ssl=1" alt="3 Things to Consider Before Giving Up on Your Spouse" data-pin-url="https://careynieuwhof.com/3-things-to-consider-before-giving-up-on-your-spouse/" data-pin-media="https://i0.wp.com/careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Carey-and-Toni-2.jpeg?fit=2048,1366&amp;ssl=1" data-pin-description="3 Things to Consider Before Giving Up on Your Spouse" /></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/3-things-to-consider-before-giving-up-on-your-spouse/" rel="nofollow">3 Things to Consider Before Giving Up on Your Spouse</a> appeared first on <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com" rel="nofollow">CareyNieuwhof.com</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Source: <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/3-things-to-consider-before-giving-up-on-your-spouse/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" data-wplink-edit="true">3 Things to Consider Before Giving Up on Your Spouse</a></p><p>The post <a href="https://church-planting.net/3-things-to-consider-before-giving-up-on-your-spouse/">3 Things to Consider Before Giving Up on Your Spouse</a> appeared first on <a href="https://church-planting.net">Passion for Planting</a>.</p>
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		<title>Building High Trust Teams in Your Church with Rob Deveney</title>
		<link>https://church-planting.net/building-high-trust-teams-in-your-church-with-rob-deveney/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Esther Ritchey]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 19 Jun 2020 09:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[General Church Planting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ministry Teams]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[healthy staff relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[leading yourself]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[listening]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[responsibility]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[team building]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Team Development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[teamwork]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[understanding]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://unseminary.com/building-high-trust-teams-in-your-church-with-rob-deveney/</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<div><img width="250" height="250" src="https://church-planting.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/unseminary_logo.png" class="attachment-full size-full wp-post-image" alt="www.unseminary.com" id="featured-image" style="margin-bottom: 15px;" decoding="async" loading="lazy" /></div>
<p>By: UnSeminary Welcome to this week’s unSeminary podcast. Today we are talking to Rob Deveney, executive pastor at Twin Rivers Church. Twin Rivers Church is located in St. Louis, Missouri. It started as a small denominational church, but has grown over the last 90 years into three locations around St. [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://church-planting.net/building-high-trust-teams-in-your-church-with-rob-deveney/">Building High Trust Teams in Your Church with Rob Deveney</a> appeared first on <a href="https://church-planting.net">Passion for Planting</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><img width="250" height="250" src="https://church-planting.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/unseminary_logo.png" class="attachment-full size-full wp-post-image" alt="www.unseminary.com" id="featured-image" style="margin-bottom: 15px;" decoding="async" loading="lazy" /></div>
<p>By: UnSeminary</p>


<p><img decoding="async" class="wp-image-10763" src="https://i2.wp.com/unseminary.com/wp-content/uploads/Rob_Deveney_podcast.jpg?w=1200&amp;ssl=1" alt="" data-recalc-dims="1" /></p>
<p>Welcome to this week’s unSeminary podcast. Today we are talking to <strong>Rob Deveney</strong>, executive pastor at <strong>Twin Rivers Church</strong>.</p>
<p>Twin Rivers Church is located in St. Louis, Missouri. It started as a small denominational church, but has grown over the last 90 years into three locations around St. Louis.</p>
<p>Rob is with us today to talk about what it takes to maintain high levels of trust among the staff as the church has grown.</p>
<p><strong>Be responsible to each other.</strong> // A lot of responsibility comes with a large church and staff. The responsibility is not just to the congregation and ministry, but also for the staff to each other. When someone starts working for a church, that organization isn’t just their employer, but also their church family and pastoral support. Leaning too much in one of these directions or the other can cause either job performance or relationships to suffer. <strong>Build trust.</strong> // The executive team has a strong responsibility to protect the church’s culture. At Twin Rivers, it’s very important to them to be a high-trust organization. This looks like staff trusting a supervisor to be honest, believing they aren’t trying to manipulate or just trying to get as much work out of an employee as possible, but also trying to pastor and develop church staff to be the best leaders they can be. Rob wants his staff to fulfill the callings that God has put on their lives as much as he wants to fulfill the calling he has on his own life.<strong>Lead yourself first.</strong> // As a member of the executive team, Rob surrounds himself with people who lift him up and ground him in his weaknesses and strengths so he can do that in turn for his team. He is fairly opposite in personality with the lead pastor and so he can often bring a different perspective to the table. At the same time, the lead pastor makes it safe for Rob to bring his heart to the table and provides valuable insight into Rob’s blindspots.<strong>Work to understand one another.</strong> // Another important piece to navigate is how to approach different people on staff. At Twin Rivers they use personality profiles, spiritual gift tests and other resources to understand each other better. Rob approaches people differently based on how they hear things, how they process information, as well as what motivates and drives them. The lead pastor does this with the executive team as well. When an issue does arise with a team member, talk to them privately about it. On the flip side, publicly celebrate a team member’s wins.<strong>Listen to any problems faced.</strong> // When you face a crisis as a church, you learn what kind of environment you actually have. Is it an environment of trust? Do people feel safe being honest? During the pandemic, Rob’s highest stress was not about what the world was going through, but rather seeking to understand the things his staff was going through. In a crisis, begin encouraging honesty and talking with your staff early. Determine their needs and what problems they may encounter. Determine any changes that may need to be made. Really listen and ask the tough questions to understand what your staff is facing. Finally, focus on what your church’s purpose is if you feel things are getting sidelined.</p>
<p>You can learn more about Twin Rivers Church at <a href="http://www.twinrivers.church" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">www.twinrivers.church</a>.</p>
<h2>Thank you for tuning in!</h2>
<p>There are a lot of podcasts you could be tuning into today, but you chose unSeminary, and I’m grateful for that. If you enjoyed today’s show, please <strong>share</strong> <strong>it</strong> by using the social media buttons you see at the left hand side of this page. Also, kindly consider taking the 60-seconds it takes to <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unseminary-podcast/id686033943?mt=2" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">leave an honest review and rating for the podcast on iTunes</a>, they’re <strong>extremely</strong> <strong>helpful</strong> when it comes to the ranking of the show and you can bet that I read every single one of them personally!</p>
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<p class="has-text-align-center"><strong><em>Thank You to This Episode’s Sponsor: Ministry Grid</em></strong></p>
<p><a href="https://ministrygrid.com/unseminary" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><img decoding="async" class="wp-image-10367" src="https://i0.wp.com/unseminary.com/wp-content/uploads/unSeminary_MGridBanner_550x90.jpg?w=1200&amp;ssl=1" alt="" data-recalc-dims="1" /></a></p>
<p class="has-text-align-center">Ministry Grid makes it simple to train every volunteer and leader in your church. With a library of over 3,500 videos and 850 courses, you will find training for every ministry area and leadership level.</p>
<p class="has-text-align-center"><a href="http://MinistryGrid.com/unSeminary" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="To get unlimited access to Ministry Grid for just $597, just go to? MinistryGrid.com/unSeminary? (opens in a new tab)">To get unlimited access to Ministry Grid for just $597, just go to? </a><strong><a href="http://MinistryGrid.com/unSeminary" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="To get unlimited access to Ministry Grid for just $597, just go to? MinistryGrid.com/unSeminary? (opens in a new tab)">MinistryGrid.com/unSeminary?</a></strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Source: <a href="https://unseminary.com/building-high-trust-teams-in-your-church-with-rob-deveney/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Building High Trust Teams in Your Church with Rob Deveney</a></p>


<p></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://church-planting.net/building-high-trust-teams-in-your-church-with-rob-deveney/">Building High Trust Teams in Your Church with Rob Deveney</a> appeared first on <a href="https://church-planting.net">Passion for Planting</a>.</p>
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		<title>Episode 452: I Want to Plant a Church. How Do I Tell My Pastor?</title>
		<link>https://church-planting.net/episode-452-i-want-to-plant-a-church-how-do-i-tell-my-pastor/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Sean Cronin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 06 Jan 2020 10:00:22 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Calling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[General Church Planting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Launch Team]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Networking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[church planting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[difficult conversations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[healthy staff relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lead Pastor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Leadership Development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[posture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://newchurches.com/episode-452-i-want-to-plant-a-church-how-do-i-tell-my-pastor/</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<div><img width="290" height="290" src="https://church-planting.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/NewChurches-Small-Border-Logo-250x250.jpg" class="attachment-full size-full wp-post-image" alt="www.newchurches.com" id="featured-image" style="margin-bottom: 15px;" decoding="async" loading="lazy" /></div>
<p>by NewChurches.com: In Episode 452 of the NewChurches Q&#38;A Podcast, Daniel and Todd discuss how to approach a conversation with your lead pastor about your interest in church planting. “How do you have a conversation about you wanting to plant a church with your lead pastor?” In This Episode, You’ll [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://church-planting.net/episode-452-i-want-to-plant-a-church-how-do-i-tell-my-pastor/">Episode 452: I Want to Plant a Church. How Do I Tell My Pastor?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://church-planting.net">Passion for Planting</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><img width="290" height="290" src="https://church-planting.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/NewChurches-Small-Border-Logo-250x250.jpg" class="attachment-full size-full wp-post-image" alt="www.newchurches.com" id="featured-image" style="margin-bottom: 15px;" decoding="async" loading="lazy" /></div><p>by NewChurches.com: In Episode 452 of the NewChurches Q&amp;A Podcast, Daniel and Todd discuss how to approach a conversation with your lead pastor about your interest in church planting.</p>
<p>“How do you have a conversation about you wanting to plant a church with your lead pastor?”</p>
<h3>In This Episode, You’ll Discover:</h3>
<p>How to approach your lead pastor if you are afraid of his response<br />
Why your posture is important in this situation</p>
<h3>Shareable Quotes (#NewChurches):</h3>
<p>“The worst thing you can do is talk to a network or denomination leader about planting a church behind your lead pastor’s back.” – <a href="https://twitter.com/danielsangi">@danielsangi</a><br />
“Whether you are blessed or bombed in this whole scenario depends on your posture.” – <a href="https://twitter.com/toddadkins">@toddadkins</a><br />
“He is in authority over you. You are having to submit, at least in the moment, to his leadership.” – <a href="https://twitter.com/toddadkins">@toddadkins</a><br />
“It is really hard to plant a church without a blessing from your lead pastor.” – <a href="https://twitter.com/danielsangi">@danielsangi</a><br />
“Make sure as early on as possible you are bringing your lead pastor into the conversation so they can be praying for you.” –<a href="https://twitter.com/danielsangi"> @danielsangi</a><br />
“If you are wanting to plant a church two blocks away, that is going to be tricky.” – <a href="https://twitter.com/danielsangi">@danielsangi</a><br />
“If you were a lead pastor and someone on your staff was super excited about planting a church, would you want to say no?” – <a href="https://twitter.com/danielsangi">@danielsangi</a><br />
“The trust between you and your supervisor is so important for their health, your health, and your church’s health.” – <a href="https://twitter.com/danielsangi">@danielsangi</a></p>
<h3>Recommended Resources:</h3>
<p>Listen to the <a href="https://leadership.lifeway.com/podcast-making-disciples/">Making Disciples</a> podcast</p>
<h3>Help us Multiply the Mission:</h3>
<p>Please <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/new-churches-q-a-podcast/id1045851546" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">subscribe</a><br />
Leave a rating and review on <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/new-churches-q-a-podcast/id1045851546" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">iTunes</a><br />
Ask a question by clicking Send Voicemail on the right hand side of <a href="http://newchurches.com/">NewChurches.com</a><br />
If you’re on a phone or a tablet, then go to <a href="http://www.speakpipe.com/newchurches" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">www.speakpipe.com/newchurches</a> to download the app and record your message<br />
When you’re recording, introduce yourself and your context in about 15 seconds and then record your question for 30 seconds</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://newchurches.com/episode-452-i-want-to-plant-a-church-how-do-i-tell-my-pastor/" rel="nofollow">Episode 452: I Want to Plant a Church. How Do I Tell My Pastor?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://newchurches.com" rel="nofollow">NewChurches.com &#8211; Church Planting, Multisite, and Multiplication</a>.</p>
<p>Source: <a href="https://newchurches.com/episode-452-i-want-to-plant-a-church-how-do-i-tell-my-pastor/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" data-wplink-edit="true">Episode 452: I Want to Plant a Church. How Do I Tell My Pastor?</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://church-planting.net/episode-452-i-want-to-plant-a-church-how-do-i-tell-my-pastor/">Episode 452: I Want to Plant a Church. How Do I Tell My Pastor?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://church-planting.net">Passion for Planting</a>.</p>
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		<title>CNLP 301: Albert Tate on How to Add Humour to Your Talks, Porn, Sex and Handling the Pressures of Leadership</title>
		<link>https://church-planting.net/cnlp-301-albert-tate-on-how-to-add-humour-to-your-talks-porn-sex-and-handling-the-pressures-of-leadership/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Sean Cronin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 15 Nov 2019 10:00:11 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[General Church Planting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Preaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Public Speaking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[vision]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[work]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[writing]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://careynieuwhof.com/episode301/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=episode301</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<div><img width="250" height="250" src="https://church-planting.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/carey-nieuwhof.jpg" class="attachment-full size-full wp-post-image" alt="www.careynieuwhof.com" id="featured-image" style="margin-bottom: 15px;" decoding="async" loading="lazy" /></div>
<p>by Carey Nieuwhof: Albert Tate is one of the funniest conference speakers and preachers around today. In this episode, Albert breaks down how he finds comedic moments and how to deliver them. In addition, Albert talks candidly about his struggle with porn, deep accountability, sex and how to handle the [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://church-planting.net/cnlp-301-albert-tate-on-how-to-add-humour-to-your-talks-porn-sex-and-handling-the-pressures-of-leadership/">CNLP 301: Albert Tate on How to Add Humour to Your Talks, Porn, Sex and Handling the Pressures of Leadership</a> appeared first on <a href="https://church-planting.net">Passion for Planting</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><img width="250" height="250" src="https://church-planting.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/carey-nieuwhof.jpg" class="attachment-full size-full wp-post-image" alt="www.careynieuwhof.com" id="featured-image" style="margin-bottom: 15px;" decoding="async" loading="lazy" /></div><p>by Carey Nieuwhof: Albert Tate is one of the funniest conference speakers and preachers around today. In this episode, Albert breaks down how he finds comedic moments and how to deliver them.</p>
<p>In addition, Albert talks candidly about his struggle with porn, deep accountability, sex and how to handle the pressures of leadership.</p>
<p>Welcome to <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/carey-nieuwhof-leadership/id912753163?mt=2" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Episode 301 of the podcast</a>. Listen and access the show notes below or search for the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast on <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/carey-nieuwhof-leadership/id912753163?mt=2" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Apple Podcasts</a> or wherever you get your podcasts and listen for free.</p>
<h2 style="text-align: left;"><strong>Guest Links</strong></h2>
<p><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="alignnone size-large wp-image-97923" src="https://i2.wp.com/careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/Albert-Tate_2-e1572975035918-1024x829.jpg?resize=1024,829&amp;ssl=1" alt="" width="1024" height="829" data-recalc-dims="1" /></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://twitter.com/alberttate" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Twitter</a> | <a href="https://www.facebook.com/albert.tate.5/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Facebook</a> | <a href="https://www.instagram.com/alberttate/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Instagram</a> | <a href="https://alberttate.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Albert Tate Ministries</a> | <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/albert-tate-podcast/id1439491694" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Albert Tate Podcast</a></p>
<h2 style="text-align: left;"><strong>Episode Links</strong></h2>
<p>Are you interested in growing your church in 2020? Our partners, <a href="https://www.promediafire.com/2020" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Pro Media Fire</a>, have a special offer for listeners of The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast. They’re looking for 20 churches that are interested, in receiving a custom plan to help ignite growth with strategies that include Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, new church website, custom graphics, and videos. They’re accepting applications at <a href="https://www.promediafire.com/2020" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">ProMediaFire.com/2020</a>. Check it out.</p>
<p class="p1"><a href="https://remodelhealth.com/carey/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Remodel Health</a> recognizes the intrinsic value of keeping healthcare costs sustainable without sacrificing the level of care to your faith-based organization. Learn more about their technology-based, innovative solutions by visiting this special link <a href="https://remodelhealth.com/carey/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">here</a>, and download their church buyer’s guide today for FREE.</p>
<p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLT8TuS3efY&amp;feature=youtu.be" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Global Leadership Summit 2019: Slow Jam</a></p>
<p><a href="https://globalleadership.org/videos/leading-yourself/leading-with-leftovers" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Global Leadership Summit 2015: Leading with Leftovers</a></p>
<p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B002TNGBJ0/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&amp;btkr=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"><i>Counterfeit Gods </i>by Timothy Keller</a></p>
<p><a href="https://www.preachingmasterclass.com/about" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Preaching Masterclass</a></p>
<h2><strong>3 Insights from Albert</strong></h2>
<p><strong>1. Comedians see the elephant in the room, and they call it out</strong></p>
<p>Want to be more funny when you give a sermon or speech? The first thing he tries to do is find the funny or awkward “elephant in the room” and point it out from the stage. When he conveys comedy through real situations, it builds another level of trust with the audience.</p>
<p>The reason Albert does this is because he knows that he has to win the audience over in the first 60 seconds of his speech, otherwise they won’t listen to him for the rest of his talk. Some people hook the audience with humor, some with storytelling, and some communicators will use other methods, but every great communicator finds a way to connect with their audience early on.</p>
<p><strong>2. We have to bring application to our audience and get specific</strong></p>
<p>Albert has noticed that many pastors do a great job of bringing the information about the text to our congregations in our sermons, but we don’t always bring the best application to our people. In general, he has noticed that many black preachers naturally bring application, and many white preachers don’t.</p>
<p>He traces his heavy emphasis on application back to how Jesus communicated his message to the people of his day. Jesus used a lot of farming illustrations because he was speaking to a lot of farmers, and people could visualize exactly what he was saying and apply it directly to their lives. Albert hopes to do the same with the students, parents, and professionals in his audiences.</p>
<p><strong>3. Sometimes the enemy uses us to bolster an insecurities our spouse carries</strong></p>
<p>When you look at the story of the fall in Genesis, there is a specific way that the snake speaks to the woman to get her to disobey God. Albert has noticed that sometimes we, as spouses, can speak in the same tone of voice as the snake to our significant other. Sometimes the enemy uses our actions and words to reinforce an insecurity he has already placed in us.</p>
<p>One common way that this happens is with pornography. If the enemy/snake has been sowing seeds of insecurity in your wife about her appearance or self-worth, it would make sense for him to use your pornography addiction to confirm what he has speaking to her. We have to learn to fight this as pastors and leaders.</p>
<h2><strong>Quotes from Episode 301</strong></h2>
<p dir="ltr">
<p><em>God uses the ministry of laughter to deepen the word in our souls. @alberttate</em><a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://careynieuwhof.com/episode301/&amp;text=God uses the ministry of laughter to deepen the word in our souls. @alberttate&amp;via=cnieuwhof&amp;related=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Click To Tweet</a></p>
<p dir="ltr">
<p><em>A lot of communicators know how to read the paper, but they need to be trained on how to read the room. @alberttate</em><a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://careynieuwhof.com/episode301/&amp;text=A lot of communicators know how to read the paper, but they need to be trained on how to read the room. @alberttate&amp;via=cnieuwhof&amp;related=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Click To Tweet</a></p>
<p dir="ltr">
<p><em>The word of God is worthy of a great setup. @alberttate</em><a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://careynieuwhof.com/episode301/&amp;text=The word of God is worthy of a great setup. @alberttate&amp;via=cnieuwhof&amp;related=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Click To Tweet</a></p>
<p dir="ltr">
<p><em>How can you do something so holy and beautiful and then still be so empty? @alberttate</em><a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://careynieuwhof.com/episode301/&amp;text=How can you do something so holy and beautiful and then still be so empty? @alberttate&amp;via=cnieuwhof&amp;related=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Click To Tweet</a></p>
<p dir="ltr">
<p><em>God isn&#8217;t cheap, he&#8217;s not quick, and he&#8217;s not a fix. @alberttate</em><a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://careynieuwhof.com/episode301/&amp;text=God isn" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Click To Tweet</a></p>
<p dir="ltr">
<p><em>If you want to have authentic fun, you&#8217;ve got to have authentic freedom. @alberttate</em><a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://careynieuwhof.com/episode301/&amp;text=If you want to have authentic fun, you" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Click To Tweet</a></p>
<h2><a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/CNLP_301-–With_Albert-Tate.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"><strong>Read or Download the Transcript for Episode 301</strong></a></h2>
<p>Looking for a key quote? More of a reader?</p>
<p>Read or download a free PDF transcript of this episode <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/CNLP_301-–With_Albert-Tate.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">here.</a></p>
<h2><strong><a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClUd0Z_Y7-PgkCjjwddM5Qw" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Watch Back Episodes of The Podcast on YouTube</a></strong></h2>
<p>Select episodes of this podcast are now on <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClUd0Z_Y7-PgkCjjwddM5Qw" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">YouTube</a>. Our new <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClUd0Z_Y7-PgkCjjwddM5Qw" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">YouTube Channel</a> gives you a chance to watch some episodes, not just listen. We’ll add select episodes to YouTube as time goes on.</p>
<h2><strong>Didn’t See It Coming Will Help You </strong><strong>Solve the Problems Most Leaders Miss</strong></h2>
<h2><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="CToWUd a6T" src="https://ci5.googleusercontent.com/proxy/Bd_DD3EkDWiFRvuyFpLy2gX-IGIIyNl4QrcxY0eFeSt9EjEx-GHRisy0YMXQqeQvh8uMqkg9rOSz39slz8yomvnSJP3biBN85L-kBaQUyFvsJqf8NaF5AlOR=s0-d-e1-ft#https://careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/DidntSeeComing.jpg" alt="" width="1687" height="2524" /></h2>
<p>If you want practical help overcoming some of the biggest challenges leaders face, my new book <i><a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/didnt-see-it-coming/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://careynieuwhof.com/didnt-see-it-coming/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1572195286642000&amp;usg=AFQjCNFa-mw6uxWWwbUxD94vXyWstQrWaQ">Didn’t See It Coming: Overcoming the 7 Greatest Challenges That Nobody Expects and Everyone Experiences</a></i> tackles the seven core issues that take people out: cynicism, compromise, disconnectedness, irrelevance, pride, burnout, and the emptiness of success and provides strategies on how to combat each.</p>
<p>I wrote the book because no 18 year old sets out to be cynical, jaded and disconnected by age 35. Yet it happens all the time.</p>
<p>The good news is, it doesn’t have to be that way.</p>
<p>Here’s what top leaders are saying about <em>Didn’t See It Coming</em>:</p>
<p><em>“Seriously, this may be the most important book you read this year.” <strong>Jud Wilhite</strong>, Lead Pastor, Central Church</em></p>
<p><em>“Powerful, personal, and highly readable.” <strong>Brian Houston</strong>, Global Senior Pastor, Hillsong</em></p>
<p><em>“Whatever challenge you’re facing, whatever obstacle you’re hoping to overcome, whatever future you dream or imagine, there is something powerful for you here.” <strong>Andy Stanley</strong>, Founder, North Point Ministries</em></p>
<p><em>“Uncommonly perceptive and generous…You have to read this book.” <strong>Ann Voskamp, </strong>NYT bestselling author</em></p>
<p><em>“Masterful.” <strong>Reggie Joiner, </strong>CEO Orange</em></p>
<p><em>“Deep biblical insight, straightforward truth, and practical wisdom to help you grow.” <strong>Craig Groeschel</strong>, Pastor and NYT bestselling author</em></p>
<p><em>“This book is sure to help you.” <strong>Daniel H. Pink</strong>, NYT bestselling author</em></p>
<p><em>Over the years, one of the things I’ve enjoyed most about being a public speaker is having opportunities to hang out with Carey…It’s not a matter of if you’ll run into these challenges; it’s a matter of when. Be prepared by spending a little time with a leader who has already been there.” <strong>Jon Acuff, </strong>NYT bestselling author</em></p>
<p><em>“Nieuwhof’s book provides expert guidance…with an accuracy that pierces the heart.” <strong>Nancy Duarte</strong>, CEO, Duarte Inc.</em></p>
<p><em>“A refreshingly transparent guide for all leaders in a wide variety of industries.” <strong>Bryan Miles</strong>, Co-Founder and CEO, BELAY</em></p>
<p><a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/didnt-see-it-coming/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://careynieuwhof.com/didnt-see-it-coming/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1572195286642000&amp;usg=AFQjCNFa-mw6uxWWwbUxD94vXyWstQrWaQ">You can learn more and get your copy of <em>Didn’t See It Coming</em> here.</a></p>
<h2><strong>Subscribed Yet? </strong></h2>
<p><a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/carey-nieuwhof-leadership/id912753163?mt=2" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Subscribe for free</a> and never miss out on wisdom from world-class leaders like Brian Houston, Andy Stanley, Craig Groeschel, Nancy Duarte, Henry Cloud, Patrick Lencioni, Francis Chan, Ann Voskamp, Erwin McManus and many others.</p>
<p>Subscribe using your favorite podcast app via</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/carey-nieuwhof-leadership/id912753163?mt=2" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Apple Podcasts</a></p>
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<h2><strong>Spread the Word. Leave a Rating and Review</strong></h2>
<p>Hopefully, this episode has helped you lead like never before. That’s my goal. If you appreciated it, could you share the love?</p>
<p>The best way to do that is to <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/carey-nieuwhof-leadership/id912753163?mt=2">rate the podcast on Apple Podcasts and leave us a brief review</a>! You can do the same on <a href="http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/the-carey-nieuwhof-leadership-podcast">Stitcher</a> and on <a href="http://tunein.com/radio/The-Carey-Nieuwhof-Leadership-Podcast-p649370/">TuneIn</a> as well.</p>
<p>Your ratings and reviews help us place the podcast in front of new leaders and listeners. Your feedback also lets me know how I can better serve you.</p>
<p>Thank you for being so awesome.</p>
<h2><strong>Next Episode: Steve Green</strong></h2>
<p>What started in a garage almost 50 years ago has risen into a multi-billion dollar empire. Steve Green is the President of Hobby Lobby, and works along side his father, who founded the company. Steve discusses the reasons behind the remarkable rise of Hobby Lobby, how it almost all fell apart, their biggest challenges, bucking the trend, why his company pays entry level workers double the minimum wage, and why his family agreed to sign Warren Buffet and Bill Gate’s pledge to give at least half of their wealth away. Steve also talks about why he’s so passionate about funding what they’re funding.</p>
<p><a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/carey-nieuwhof-leadership/id912753163?mt=2">Subscribe for free</a> now and you won’t miss Episode 302.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/episode301/" rel="nofollow">CNLP 301: Albert Tate on How to Add Humour to Your Talks, Porn, Sex and Handling the Pressures of Leadership</a> appeared first on <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com" rel="nofollow">CareyNieuwhof.com</a>.</p>
<p>Source: <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/episode301/?utm_source=rss&amp;utm_medium=rss&amp;utm_campaign=episode301" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" data-wplink-edit="true">CNLP 301: Albert Tate on How to Add Humour to Your Talks, Porn, Sex and Handling the Pressures of Leadership</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://church-planting.net/cnlp-301-albert-tate-on-how-to-add-humour-to-your-talks-porn-sex-and-handling-the-pressures-of-leadership/">CNLP 301: Albert Tate on How to Add Humour to Your Talks, Porn, Sex and Handling the Pressures of Leadership</a> appeared first on <a href="https://church-planting.net">Passion for Planting</a>.</p>
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		<title>5 ways to lead when you’re not the senior leader</title>
		<link>https://church-planting.net/5-ways-to-lead-when-youre-not-the-senior-leader/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Sean Cronin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 01 Aug 2019 09:00:58 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[General Church Planting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Staffing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[church leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humility]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Leadership Development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[people]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[responsibility]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://careynieuwhof.com/5-ways-to-lead-when-your-not-the-senior-leader/</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<div><img width="250" height="250" src="https://church-planting.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/carey-nieuwhof.jpg" class="attachment-full size-full wp-post-image" alt="www.careynieuwhof.com" id="featured-image" style="margin-bottom: 15px;" decoding="async" loading="lazy" /></div>
<p>by Carey Nieuwhof: If you were in charge, everything would be different, wouldn’t it? But you’re not. At least not yet. You think you’re right (you have some great ideas). And you’ll do anything to convince your boss to do what you think your church or organization needs to do. [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://church-planting.net/5-ways-to-lead-when-youre-not-the-senior-leader/">5 ways to lead when you’re not the senior leader</a> appeared first on <a href="https://church-planting.net">Passion for Planting</a>.</p>
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										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><img width="250" height="250" src="https://church-planting.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/carey-nieuwhof.jpg" class="attachment-full size-full wp-post-image" alt="www.careynieuwhof.com" id="featured-image" style="margin-bottom: 15px;" decoding="async" loading="lazy" /></div><p><a href="https://i1.wp.com/careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/shutterstock_446643118.jpg?ssl=1"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-88927" src="https://i1.wp.com/careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/shutterstock_446643118.jpg?resize=6046,4035&amp;ssl=1" alt="" width="6046" height="4035" data-recalc-dims="1" /></a></p>
<p>by Carey Nieuwhof: If you were in charge, everything would be different, wouldn’t it?</p>
<p>But you’re not. At least not yet.</p>
<p>You think you’re right (you have some great ideas). And you’ll do anything to convince your boss to do what you think your church or organization needs to do.</p>
<p>Which leads us to the big question.</p>
<p>How do you affect change when you’re NOT the senior leader? How do you lead change when you’re a staff member or simply a volunteer?</p>
<p>I’ve written<a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/my-books/"> two books on change</a>, so I get that question all the time.</p>
<p>It’s easy to think you’re powerless or that you need to try to work around a leader with whom you disagree. But neither is a great strategy.</p>
<p>So what do you do if you want to bring about change, but you’re not the key decision-maker?</p>
<p>If you do a little homework and learn to think differently, you can be exceptionally effective at leading change well, even when you’re not the senior leader. Even if you’re ‘just’ a staff member or ‘just’ a volunteer.</p>
<p>How?</p>
<p>Here are five ways you can ‘lead up’ to your boss when you want to broker change:</p>
<h2><strong>1. Think like a senior leader</strong></h2>
<p>So you’re not a senior leader, but try to imagine that you were. Imagine the pressures and issues facing your senior leader and approach the conversation accordingly.</p>
<p>Think through how it impacts the entire organization.</p>
<p>Understand that your senior leader may have budget restraints and many other interests to balance, like a board of directors or elder board. Show him or her that you understand that and you’re willing to be flexible on some points.</p>
<p>Showing your boss that you understand the bigger picture is a huge step in the right direction.</p>
<p>As a senior leader myself, I’ll disclose a bias here.</p>
<p>When someone on my team comes to me with any idea, and I realize they have thought it through cross-organizationally (that is, they’ve thought through how it impacts the <strong><em>entire</em></strong> organization), <strong>I am far more open to it.</strong></p>
<p>Why?</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">They’re thinking about more than just themselves.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">They did their homework.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">They helped me do my homework.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">They showed me they’re leading at the next level.</p>
<p>I always try to be open to new ideas, but here’s the truth. Often before the person is done with their presentation, or we’ve finished the discussion, I’ve already thought through 15 implications of their idea.</p>
<p>If they show me they<em>‘</em>ve thought through the 15 implications before they got to my office, I’m thoroughly impressed and very open.</p>
<p>I’m not saying that’s a good thing; I’m just saying it’s a true thing.</p>
<p>And I think it’s true of most senior leaders.</p>
<p>When you think like a senior leader, you’re more likely to persuade a senior leader.</p>
<p><em>When you think like a senior leader, you&#8217;re more likely to persuade a senior leader.</em><a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://careynieuwhof.com/5-ways-to-lead-when-your-not-the-senior-leader/&amp;text=When you think like a senior leader, you" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Click To Tweet</a></p>
<h2><strong>2. Express desires, not demands</strong></h2>
<p>No one likes a demanding person.</p>
<p>In fact, when someone demands something, there’s something inside me that <em>doesn’t</em> want to give them what they asked for.</p>
<p>I don’t always follow that impulse, but expressing demands damages relationships. Instead, talk about what you desire.</p>
<p>Show respect and tell him how you feel – don’t tell him how you think he should feel. And above all, don’t be demanding.</p>
<p><em>When you&#8217;re asking someone to change, express desires, not demands.</em><a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://careynieuwhof.com/5-ways-to-lead-when-your-not-the-senior-leader/&amp;text=When you" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Click To Tweet</a></p>
<h2><strong>3. Explain the why behind the what</strong></h2>
<p>As <a href="http://www.startwithwhy.com/">Simon Sinek</a> has so rightly pointed out, people don’t buy what you do; they buy why you do it.</p>
<p>Your best argument is not the <em>what</em> (we need to transform our church altogether) or the <em>how</em> (here’s how you should do it).</p>
<p>It’s the <em><strong>why</strong></em> (I think I’ve discovered a better way to reach families in our community and help parents win at home… can I talk to you about that?)</p>
<p>The more you explain the why the more people will be open to the what and the how.</p>
<p>Lead with <em>why</em>. Season your conversation with <em>why</em>. And close with <em>why</em>.</p>
<p><em>When you explain the why people become open to the what and how.</em><a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://careynieuwhof.com/5-ways-to-lead-when-your-not-the-senior-leader/&amp;text=When you explain the why people become open to the what and how.&amp;via=cnieuwhof&amp;related=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Click To Tweet</a></p>
<h2><strong>4. Stay publicly loyal</strong></h2>
<p><a href="http://andystanley.com">Andy Stanley</a> has said it this way:<strong> public loyalty buys you private leverage</strong>.</p>
<p>It’s so true. Your senior leader isn’t dumb; if you start complaining about how resistant your senior leader is, he’ll probably hear about it. Not only is your personal integrity compromised, but your senior leader will also lose respect for you.</p>
<p>In my mind as a senior leader, the team members who conduct themselves like a cohesive team always have the greatest private influence.</p>
<p>Your public loyalty will buy you private leverage.</p>
<p><em>Public loyalty buys you private leverage.</em><a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://careynieuwhof.com/5-ways-to-lead-when-your-not-the-senior-leader/&amp;text=Public loyalty buys you private leverage.&amp;via=AndyStanley&amp;related=AndyStanley" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Click To Tweet</a></p>
<p>The title of this blog post explains how we all feel at times (why can’t everyone see I’m right????).</p>
<p>But when it comes to leading change, respect and character will win you more points than your ideas.</p>
<p>Your character speaks far more loudly than any arguments you make. Loyalty and respect spring from your character.</p>
<p><em>Your character speaks far more loudly than any arguments you make.</em><a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://careynieuwhof.com/5-ways-to-lead-when-your-not-the-senior-leader/&amp;text=Your character speaks far more loudly than any arguments you make.&amp;via=cnieuwhof&amp;related=cnieuwhof" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Click To Tweet</a></p>
<h2><strong>5. Be outstanding at what you do</strong></h2>
<p>I’ve left what I think is the most persuasive factor until last.</p>
<p>You know what gets the attention of senior leaders? Team members who are amazing at what they do.</p>
<p>If you go above and beyond expectations, exceed the hopes leaders have for you and consistently over-deliver results, you already have the attention of a leader before you walk in the door.</p>
<p>If you don’t, well, it will take a lot of convincing that you’re right.</p>
<p>Your senior leader knows how well you’re performing, and their opinion of you directly impacts their receptivity to your ideas. Don’t think of it as judgment. Think of it as discernment.</p>
<p>If you were thinking of investing money, which investment adviser would you listen to, the adviser who gets a 20% return for clients year after year, or the one who loses 15% of their client’s money annually?</p>
<p>Exactly.</p>
<p>Leaders respect the team members who consistently deliver above expectations. Before you get upset, think about how your respect fluctuates with other leaders. You do exactly the same thing.</p>
<p>The best way to get a senior leader’s respect is to be outstanding at what you do.</p>
<p><em>The best way to get a senior leader&#8217;s respect is to be outstanding at what you do.</em><a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://careynieuwhof.com/5-ways-to-lead-when-your-not-the-senior-leader/&amp;text=The best way to get a senior leader" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Click To Tweet</a></p>
<h2><strong>Leading at the next level takes more time</strong></h2>
<p><a href="https://thehighimpactleader.com/open-now" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="jetpack-lazy-image jetpack-lazy-image--handled aligncenter wp-image-76271 size-large" src="https://i0.wp.com/careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Open-Cart-3.png?resize=1024,1024&amp;ssl=1" alt="" width="727" height="727" data-lazy-loaded="1" /></a></p>
<p>If you are going to lead up to your boss, you need to be able to manage your time like a next-level leader. When they see you value your time more, they will value your time more.</p>
<p>If you’re trying to find the time for what matters most in life, my <a href="https://thehighimpactleader.com/open-now" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">High Impact Leader course</a>, is my online, on-demand course designed to help you get time, energy and priorities working in your favour.</p>
<p>Many leaders who have taken it are recovering 3 productive hours <em>a day</em>.  That’s about 1000 hours of found time each year. That’s a lot of time for what matters most.</p>
<p>Here are what some alumni are saying about The High Impact Leader Course”</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>“Thank you, thank you, thank you for providing the course again. It has absolutely made an impact in my life and family already that I can’t even describe.” – Joel Rowland, Clayton County, North Carolina</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>“Just wow.  Thank you, thank you.” Dave Campbell,  Sioux Falls South Dakota</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">“<em>A game changer.” Pam Perkins,  Colorado Springs, Colorado</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Curious? Want to beat overwhelm and have the time to reflect, rest and reinvent yourself?</p>
<p><a href="https://thehighimpactleader.com/open-now" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Click here</a> to learn more or get instant access.</p>
<h2><strong>Speaking Of Leading At The Next Level, Two Can’t-Miss Events This Fall:</strong></h2>
<p>To reach the next generation, we have to stay relevant to them.</p>
<p>One of the best ways to stay relevant is to keep learning and growing.</p>
<p>Registration for two premiere events is now open!</p>
<p><a href="https://irresistibletour.com/?inf_contact_key=a376bff8eb767d2b5aeb3672128010c6680f8914173f9191b1c0223e68310bb1" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-86445 size-full jetpack-lazy-image jetpack-lazy-image--handled" src="https://i2.wp.com/careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/header.png?resize=3382,1366&amp;ssl=1" alt="" width="3382" height="1366" data-recalc-dims="1" data-lazy-loaded="1" /></a></p>
<p>Andy Stanley is heading to four cities this fall with his Irresistible Tour…picking up where his best selling book of the same name left off.</p>
<p><a href="https://irresistibletour.com/?inf_contact_key=a376bff8eb767d2b5aeb3672128010c6680f8914173f9191b1c0223e68310bb1" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Register today</a> and get the best rates.</p>
<p><a href="https://orangetour.org/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-86444 size-full jetpack-lazy-image jetpack-lazy-image--handled" src="https://i1.wp.com/careynieuwhof.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/hero.png?resize=1599,747&amp;ssl=1" alt="" width="1599" height="747" data-recalc-dims="1" data-lazy-loaded="1" /></a></p>
<p>Orange Tour 2019 with Reggie Joiner, Jon Acuff, and many others will help you reach the next generation. Orange Tour is coming to 15 US cities this fall. I’ll be speaking in Irvine CA, Phoenix AZ and Austin TX.</p>
<p>You can register for Orange Tour <a href="https://orangetour.org/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">here</a> and get the best rates.</p>
<h2><strong>What Have You Seen?</strong></h2>
<p>If you want more on change, I wrote about effectively leading change in my book<em> <strong><a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/my-books/">Leading Change Without Losing It</a>.</strong></em></p>
<p>Non-senior leaders, what would you add?</p>
<p>Senior leaders, what other advice would you give?</p>
<p>Scroll down and leave a comment!</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/5-ways-to-lead-when-your-not-the-senior-leader/" rel="nofollow">5 ways to lead when you’re not the senior leader</a> appeared first on <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com" rel="nofollow">CareyNieuwhof.com</a>.</p>
<p>Source: <a href="https://careynieuwhof.com/5-ways-to-lead-when-your-not-the-senior-leader/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" data-wplink-edit="true">5 ways to lead when you’re not the senior leader</a></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://church-planting.net/5-ways-to-lead-when-youre-not-the-senior-leader/">5 ways to lead when you’re not the senior leader</a> appeared first on <a href="https://church-planting.net">Passion for Planting</a>.</p>
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