By Cary Nieuwhof: Feel like you need some encouragement?

Doesn’t every leader right about now…?

Most of what’s come at you in the last year has been discouraging…criticism from every side, events that are completely out of your control, operating in anything but ideal conditions. It’s a long list if you think about it.

So, this short post is designed to do one thing: Encourage you.

I love the word encouragement.

As a young leader, I never knew what to do with encouragement. Discount it? Shrug it off? Live for it?

I think I did all of the above.

But, the longer I’ve led, the more I realize how valuable encouragement is.

Think about the etymology.

To encourage someone literally means to give courage to them. Encouragement derives from an old French word that means ‘to make strong’ or ‘hearten.’

So, in the hopes of encouraging you and your team, here are some rather invisible things you’re doing really well right now as you’re leading.

To encourage someone literally means to give courage to them.

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1. You Haven’t Quit

Some of the most important moments of leadership have come for me when, discouraged, someone pulls up alongside me, puts their hand on my shoulder, looks me in the eye and says, “Hang in there.”

When I’ve hung in there, I’ve never regretted it.

So, leader, you’re hanging in there. You’ve made it this far. You haven’t quit.

I’m not saying you can never quit. But here’s a good rule: Never quit on a bad day.

If you’re going to quit, quit on a good day.

Never quit on a bad day. If you’re going to quit, quit on a good day.

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Then, at least you have a level head, have thought about it, prayed about it and hopefully talked to some really wise friends.

You haven’t quit. And, that thing you’re developing, as a result, has a name. It’s called resilience.

You haven’t quit. And, that thing you’re developing, as a result, has a name. It’s called resilience.

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2. You’re Learning to Lead in Constant Uncertainty

Remember predictability in leadership? You could look ahead six months and have a relatively clear idea what was going to happen.

That, of course, is completely gone.

You’ve had to lead through crisis and are still facing tremendous uncertainty ahead…uncertainty that’s likely to remain for a while longer, even after the pandemic ends.

In the midst of it, perhaps without even noticing it, you’re developing an agility you’ve never known before.

In uncertainty, agility is ability and flexibility is a superpower.

Hint: Agility is an incredible skill to keep honing in leadership. Agile leaders have done better than inflexible leaders for years. In a highly disrupted world, they’ll do even better.

In uncertainty, agility is ability and flexibility is a superpower.

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3. You’re Navigating Deep Divisions and Forging Unity

Every leader I’ve talked to tells me how hard it’s been navigating the division, tribalization and polarization that’s happening among the people you lead.

Numerous pastors have told me they’ve had to break up public arguments among staff, board members and even prayer team members. Wow.

This too, I hope, will pass.

One of the tasks of leadership is to bring diverse groups together around a common mission and purpose.

The Gospel unites what politics and prejudice often divide.

The Gospel unites what politics and prejudice often divide.

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I’m guessing all the division is driving you deeper and deeper into the true mission of the church. That’s never a bad thing.

A divided nation needs a united church.

You’re leading toward that. Way to go.

4. You’re Bringing Hope

Hope is what people need right now, and hope is so hard to find.

Church leaders, you’re bringing it.

I know sometimes you look out on a Sunday and see 30% of the people who used to be in the room. Or, you can’t even get in a room with people, so you just look into the lens of a camera.

But, you’re bringing hope.

Every person who watches that video or stops on your post needs it.

Every person you see in those distanced chairs hungers for it.

And every person you’re trying to reach has no idea what they’re missing.

You’re bringing hope. Keep bringing it.

Hope is what people need right now, and hope is so hard to find. Church leaders, you’re bringing it.

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5. You’re Deepening Your Faith

You probably don’t even realize it, but your faith is growing.

That’s what crisis does. It forces you to stop relying on yourself and start trusting God at a much deeper level.

I know it’s hard.

But, it’s like deciding you’re going to train for a 5k.  At first, it’s painful, you end up walking 2km of your ‘run’ and you’re so sore you need to stretch five times later that day.

The next day hardly feels easier, and now you’re running sore and through shin splints, but it’s done.

Fast forward to six months later, and you’ve just set a personal best and the endorphins kick in halfway through. Yeah, you’re tired when you’re done. But you’re so much further ahead than you were six months earlier.

Your faith is growing.

Your trust is deepening.

And, your reliance on God is probably more profound than you realize.

Keep going.

Crisis forces you to stop relying on yourself and start trusting God at a much deeper level.

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6. You’re Learning New Skills

Every leader ends up in ruts…at least I do.

And right now, you’re learning new skills at a rate you may not have learned them in years.

Take online ministry for example. You probably feel out of your depth. You may be disappointed by the results.

But you’re doing a new thing.

That’s actually rewiring your brain and making you stronger. Cognitive and social engagement have even been shown to protect against cognitive decline as you age.

Whether you continue to do everything you’re doing now or not, you’re growing, stretching and learning.

That has long term benefits no matter what’s ahead.

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engage your congregation and reach the unchurched with the art of better preaching

Whether you’re preaching into a camera or in front of an audience, the core principles of sermon preparation and excellent preaching never change.

If you’re ready to start preaching better sermons and reach the unchurched without selling out, then it’s time to start using the right tips, lessons and strategies communicating better.

The Art Of Better Preaching is a 12 session video training (and comprehensive workbook) that will help you create, write and deliver more engaging sermons. It’s the lessons that Mark Clark (Lead Pastor of Village Church) and I have learned, taught and used over decades of preaching. 

It’s the complete course you need to start preaching better sermons, including: A new bonus unit on preaching into a camera The 5 keys to preaching sermons to unchurched people (to keep them coming back) How to discover power in the text and use it to drive your sermonWhy you need to ditch your sermon notes (and how to do it far more easily than you think) How to keep your mind and heart fresh over the long run 

… And much more!

Check it out and get instant access today.”,”container_class”:””,”element_class”:””,”wrap_styles_border”:0,”wrap_styles_width”:””,”wrap_styles_margin”:””,”wrap_styles_padding”:””,”wrap_styles_float”:””,”wrap_styles_show_advanced_css”:0,”label_styles_border”:””,”label_styles_width”:””,”label_styles_font-size”:””,”label_styles_margin”:””,”label_styles_padding”:””,”label_styles_float”:””,”label_styles_show_advanced_css”:0,”element_styles_border”:””,”element_styles_width”:””,”element_styles_font-size”:””,”element_styles_margin”:””,”element_styles_padding”:””,”element_styles_float”:””,”element_styles_show_advanced_css”:0,”cellcid”:”c8094″,”key”:”the_preaching_cheat_sheet_1603377863588″,”drawerDisabled”:false,”wrap_styles_background-color”:””,”wrap_styles_border-style”:””,”wrap_styles_border-color”:””,”wrap_styles_display”:”block”,”field_label”:”The Preaching Cheat Sheet”,”field_key”:”the_preaching_cheat_sheet_1603377863588″,”id”:595,”beforeField”:””,”afterField”:””,”value”:”

engage your congregation and reach the unchurched with the art of better preaching

Whether you’re preaching into a camera or in front of an audience, the core principles of sermon preparation and excellent preaching never change.

If you’re ready to start preaching better sermons and reach the unchurched without selling out, then it’s time to start using the right tips, lessons and strategies communicating better.

The Art Of Better Preaching is a 12 session video training (and comprehensive workbook) that will help you create, write and deliver more engaging sermons. It’s the lessons that Mark Clark (Lead Pastor of Village Church) and I have learned, taught and used over decades of preaching. 

It’s the complete course you need to start preaching better sermons, including: A new bonus unit on preaching into a camera The 5 keys to preaching sermons to unchurched people (to keep them coming back) How to discover power in the text and use it to drive your sermonWhy you need to ditch your sermon notes (and how to do it far more easily than you think) How to keep your mind and heart fresh over the long run 

… And much more!

Check it out and get instant access today.”,”label_pos”:”above”,”parentType”:”html”,”element_templates”:[“html”,”input”],”old_classname”:””,”wrap_template”:”wrap”}];nfForms.push(form);

Keep Going (Share and Leave a Comment)

So, keep going.

If you need some more reasons not to quit, here are some more.

If you want to encourage someone, share this post on social or with your team.

And, leave a comment about how you’re growing and what you think you and your team are doing well right now.

Let’s encourage each other.

The post Need Encouragement? 6 Invisible Things Church Leaders are Doing Really Well Right Now appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: Need Encouragement? 6 Invisible Things Church Leaders are Doing Really Well Right Now

The post Need Encouragement? 6 Invisible Things Church Leaders are Doing Really Well Right Now appeared first on Passion for Planting.

By Shawn Lovejoy: On every team I have ever led, we have sought to maintain the “The Last Ten Percent Rule.”

The Last Ten Percent Rule states that most people say ninety percent of what they are thinking, but they hold back that last ten percent out of fear of rocking the boat, causing conflict, getting fired, or whatever.

Growth doesn’t come from some elusive “silver bullet.”

Healthy growth emerges from the teams who best practice honesty.

That said, honesty is not something that just happens on any team.

Honesty has to be cultivated in your culture.

I wrote this article highlighting our framework for facilitating honesty on your team and giving you one of your best opportunities for growth.

7 Ways To Create A Last 10% Culture on Your Team:

Mine for Total Honesty.

Truly listening to to those closest to us gives us our best opportunity to grow. As a leader we should always push our team for that last ten percent. That’s where the gold is!

That last ten percent gets us into what people are really thinking, how they really feel, and gives us our best opportunity to gain rapport with those closest to us.

However, people are people. Defensiveness and insecurity run rampant among leadership teams. Don’t get me wrong, most teams have a deep desire to grow and get better, but for some reason, they have a hard time listening to the feedback, critiques, and heartfelt honesty.

Your job is to facilitate honesty among your team, keep it at the forefront and normalize what it means to share the last 10%.

While honesty is not natural for many on your team, your job as the leader is to make honesty normal for everyone on your team.

Promise Safety.

Most people on your team likely care about the people they work with and want things to get better. They also like their job!

If you, as the leader, are over emotional or reactionary when people are honest with you, you may not get honesty out of them.

Communicate a culture of honesty and then model they way by receiving it with maturity. When the leader is mature, the team feels secure. You want a culture of honesty, not a culture of walking on eggshells.

Be Quick to Listen and Slow to Speak.

When someone offers any type of honest feedback, our temptation the entire time they are speaking is how to explain ourselves or defend our behavior. Don’t give in to that temptation!

Listen carefully. Process what they are saying. Be teachable. Be coachable.

Model teachability for your team. When the leader is teachable, the team will be more teachable.

Don’t Argue Intent.

I had a marriage counselor tell me a long time ago, “It doesn’t matter what I meant. It matters what was received.”

Don’t try to explain what you meant or what your intention was. Just apologize for any wrong signals you might have sent.

Arguing or being defensive about intentions is crippling to a culture of honesty.

Take Responsibility.

It really doesn’t really matter if you’ve been at fault or not.

Consider this: If we are only 5% responsible for a conflict, we are 100% responsible for our 5%!

Just say “I’m sorry” and take responsibility.

Distinguish Between a Critique and a Criticism.

Criticism comes from the critics and naysayers.

Critique however, comes from someone who loves us and just wants to help us improve and improve the quality of our relationships. Why would you not listen to that person?

You don’t have to listen to everyone, but you had better listen to those closest to you. If you don’t it will negatively affect your influence, your relationships among the team and the level of honesty in your culture.

Thank People for Their Candor.

Simply respond with, “Thanks for bringing that to my attention. I don’t know my blind spots unless someone helps me see them. This will help me get better.”

Your response gives permission and language for your team to receive honesty in a similar fashion.

Need another example? Try this response: “I really appreciate you sharing this with me. As a matter of fact, if you ever have something come up like this again, don’t be afraid to come and talk to me about it. I appreciate it more than you know!”

Wish honesty was part of your culture?

Long for a team that talks TO one another rather than ABOUT one another?

Eager for a system to help you facilitate a “Last 10% Culture?”

We can help…and, frankly, it’s all too much to do alone. That’s why at CourageToLead we believe, “Every Leader Needs a Coach”…because no leader can do it all alone!

Let’s set up a call with one of our coaches to talk through leading your team and organization to discover a “Last 10% Culture.”

It’s simple, click the button below, schedule a time that works for you, fill out a brief application and show up to your call…we’ll handle the rest!

SCHedule a call

Let’s Talk About Coaching

Source: How To Create a Culture of Honesty on Your Team

The post How To Create a Culture of Honesty on Your Team appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Carey Nieuwhof: You might be asking yourself as a church leader, why does everyone seem so angry with me right now?

You’re not alone.

As pastor appreciation month fades into the rearview mirror, despite getting a few chocolates and a handful of thank you cards (or nothing…that’s happened before too), many church leaders I talk to are feeling more unappreciated, misunderstood and more criticized than ever.

Criticism stings, and in a prolonged crisis like this one, just when you feel like you need more encouragement than usual, it feels like you’re getting all-time-high levels of static.

What’s going on?

Just so we don’t all go to a false pity-party, let me say sometimes it’s definitely you.  I’ve made some significant leadership blunders myself. Maybe you did something to anger your team, upset your church, led change unwisely or made some other decisions that really messed things up.

If that’s the case, the best thing to do is stop reading this post, talk to the people around you, get some help and make it right.

But if that’s not the case—and I’m guessing for most of you that’s not the case right now—what do you do when you’re giving your all, working hard day and night and you really love the people you serve, and you still get a load of rage dumped on your doorstep?

What do you do when you throw your heart into it and  you still get an ALL CAPS EMAIL,  an anonymous note and people threatening to leave the church? Sure, you’re not perfect, but come on….really?

What’s up with that?

I’ve gone through some undeserved seasons of opposition and criticism before as well.

Here are three factors that might help explain what’s happening, as well as three things that can help you push through through the months ahead. We all need all the help we can get right now in the midst of this crisis.

As pastor appreciation month fades into the rearview mirror, many church leaders are feeling more unappreciated, misunderstood and more criticized than ever.

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3 Factors That Create Undeserved Criticism

Undeserved criticism is the kind of criticism that either comes out of nowhere, or that happens when people treat a 2 out of 10 level problem as though it were a 12 out of 10 issue. You know what I mean.

All of which leaves you feeling perplexed, hurt, agitated, isolated, defeated and angry at the same time.

You feel like you have nowhere to go and over time, it diminishes your motivation to serve.

Why does that happen? Why do you get all kinds of static when there’s really nothing wrong?

Here are 3 reasons that happens all the time in the church and in many organizations.

1. 95% of all problems in the church have nothing to do with the church

In the early days of ministry, I began to see a pattern.

The complaints people levied against the church often didn’t have anything to do with the church.

95% of all problems in the church have nothing to do with the church.

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Yes, they were upset about the music or the direction, but if you drilled a little deeper, you soon discovered that there were other factors at work.

They were struggling at work, or their marriage was under a lot of stress, or they were battling an addiction or really down on themselves.

Add the global crisis into the mix, and people are struggling deeply with fear, medical, financial, political, emotional and relational stress unlike anything most have every coped with.

No wonder they’re agitated. Under that kind of stress, people get agitated and the anger has to come out somewhere. The church is an easy target.

In the same road rage is rarely about what happens on the highway, church rage is often not about what’s happening in the church. The guy who barely cut you off just bore the full weight of your unresolved issues in that moment.

Which leads us back to the key point: 95% of all problems in the church have nothing to do with the church.

That doesn’t make the anger go away, but it can help you empathize more and take it less personally.

In the same road rage is rarely about what happens on the highway, church rage is often not about what’s happening in the church.

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2. Distance and division have made people ruder and bolder 

The pandemic has separated us from each other in so many ways.

As more of our life moves online, and as personal contact becomes less frequent you and I get bolder and ruder.

We live in an angry age, and the current crises have only made that worse. Far worse. (I outlined 5 reasons anger is the new epidemic here.)

Here’s what happens when we get separated from each other, in normal conditions but especially in the midst of crisis: distance between people desensitizes people.

Distance between people desensitizes people.

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Generals have known this for millennia. That’s why soldiers wear uniforms and wear war paint. It not only identifies you, but it disguises your humanity. It’s easier to shoot you when I can’t see you.

Before you judge soldiers, think of how you sometimes behave in your car. As already indicated, chances are, you’re naturally more aggressive there too—occasionally cutting people off, tailgating, honking your horn, and not caring nearly as much as you normally do.

Why do you behave differently in a car than when you’re not in a car?

Because you’re in a 3000-pound armored vehicle. You don’t see the guy bothering you as a person. You see him as a problem. So you get way more aggressive.

Even in the supermarket, you’re ruder when you have a shopping cart in your hands than when you don’t.

The same dynamic is at work in social media and our life online and any time we’re not eyeball to eyeball in the room with another human.

When you’re online and you can’t see the whites of someone’s eyes, it’s just easier to shoot.

Bottom line? It’s never been easier to be known and hide simultaneously than it is online. And it’s never been easier to take pot shots at leaders than it is now.

So when you get those angry emails, letters, voicemails and snappy comments, just know it’s often 10x more animated than it would be in-person.

Bottom line? It’s never been easier to be known and hide simultaneously than it is online. And it’s never been easier to take pot shots at leaders than it is now.

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3. You’re a little agitated too

Ever notice that 0n some days little things bother you, while on other days nothing seems to bother you (even criticism)?

What’s the difference?

The difference is you—some days little things get to you and little things become big things. Other days, everything rolls off your back.

When you’re stressed everything tends to bother you, including things that shouldn’t.

Guess what? You’re leading in the midst of an insanely complicated crisis. You’re stressed.

So something that wouldn’t get under your skin in normal times probably is getting under your skin today.

Something you would handle maturely and calmly has now got you cracking on the inside.

That’s natural. It’s a really tough season.

The best strategy when I know I’m not in a good place is to take a break. You never respond well when you’re angry or irritated. Neither do I.

Pray, get some sleep, talk to a friend and come back at it with a fresh mind and heart.

The situation won’t have changed, but you’ll be better. And when you’re better, things tend to get better.

Leader, when you’re better, things tend to get better.

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3 Keys To Getting Healthier

So what do you do?

In terms of replying to the people who are mad at you, these 5 pro tips on how to handle criticism will help. Every time I use them, the situation gets better. Every time I ignore them, I make things worse, not better. In and of itself, Pro Tip #4—Reply Relationally—is a very effective tension diffuser and conflict de-escalator.

So start there.

But it’s deeper than that.

You probably still have months—or even a year—of this crazy upside down season ahead of you in leadership. I want you to make it through the long haul.

So here are three longer term strategies that can help you lead healthier and stay healthier.

1. Grieve your losses

This has been a season of incredible loss. In normal times, people in ministry suffer loss every day.

Think about it.

Every time someone leaves your ministry or steps back from your team, it’s a loss.  Whenever you give something only to find ingratitude, it’s a loss.  Every time someone tells you’re great but you should really see the other guy who’s awesome, it’s a loss.

Add in death, illness and strained or lost relationships and, well, you get the picture.

Then add all the complexity, shock and insanity that 2020 has been into the mix and it’s just so much loss.

A mentor of mine once told me that in his view so many pastors quit ministry or lose their effectiveness not because any one incident made them snap or quit – but rather because the loss that provoked their exit is tied to dozens or hundreds of ungrieved losses along the way.

They might not even understand why they’re stepping back, shutting down or resigning.  All they know is they just can’t take it anymore. (My mentor, Terry Wardle, explains that theory here.)

When I first heard of this theory, I had so much ungrieved loss it took my about a month of tears to move through it.

Since then, one of the practices I’ve adopted is to grieve my losses as they happen.

I take time daily and weekly to review what’s bothering me and simply pray about it. Sometimes I talk to others about it.

I try to let myself stop and feel what I’ve experienced.  And when I feel it, something surprising happens – the negative feeling pretty much disappears.

If I do it promptly when a loss occurs, I can even respond to a four out of ten email or remark with a two out of ten reply – not a twelve.  I can actually offer grace.

If you want to stay healthy, grieve your losses. You’ve had a lot of loss.

Many pastors quit ministry or lose their effectiveness not because any one incident made them snap or quit – but rather because the loss that provoked their exit is tied to dozens or hundreds of ungrieved losses along the way.

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2. Get Around Some Life-Giving People

So much of ministry and leadership involves giving. And because ministry is giving, it can be draining.

I frequently ask ministry leaders, “When was the last time you went out for dinner with a couple and laughed so hard you cried? You know, a lost-track-of-time-completely kind of dinner?”

The blank looks and the looks of shock and disappointment on leaders’ faces tells the story.

We don’t do this nearly enough.

Your leadership is like a bank account. You can only give so much without becoming overdrawn. Be overdrawn long enough and you go bankrupt.

Go find some friends who energize you. Then, hang out.

So much of ministry and leadership is giving. And because ministry is giving, it can be draining.

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3. Embrace a sustainable pace…before it’s too late

This crisis has gone on way longer than anyone either wanted it to or than most (including me) thought it would.

Most leaders are dead tired.  And a lot of leaders are still holding out for some time off for their sanity and for the way to make it through.  Time off is wonderful.

But time off can’t save you if the problem is how you spend your time on.

Time off can’t save you if the problem is how you spend your time on.

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And the problem with most leaders is not how we spend our time off. It’s how we spend our time on.

Moving forward, definitely take some time off but focus even more intensely on creating a sustainable rhythm for every day.

The mantra I’ve lived by for the last decade plus is, live in a way today that will help you thrive tomorrow.  Do that, and you’ll lead through this crisis so much more effectively.

Live in a way today that will help you thrive tomorrow.

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Living in a way today that will help me thrive tomorrow will help me figure out everything from how much sleep I need, how many meetings to take, how many decisions I can reasonably make, and how to replenish myself daily so I can lead at home and at work.

This might take constant adjustment on your part, but it’s worth it.

More time off isn’t the solution for an unsustainable pace. A sustainable pace is the solution for an unsustainable pace.

More time off isn’t the solution for an unsustainable pace. A sustainable pace is the solution for an unsustainable pace.

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Partner Spotlight: Searching for Ways to Cut Costs So You Don’t Have to Cut Staff?

Health insurance is always expensive, but during these stressful times, budgets may be even tighter than normal.

But now is not the time to leave your people without healthcare.

What if you could provide coverage for your staff while saving thousands for your church AND your people?

If you think this sound too good to be true, my partners at Remodel Health make this dream a reality every day for churches and faith-based organizations across the country.

To date, Remodel Health has helped Carey Nieuwhof readers and podcast listeners save over $2.1 million in the last year and a half! Imagine what your ministry could do with those savings.

We know healthcare is confusing, and right now is a very challenging time for churches, but now is the time for change.

If you’re interested in learning more, visit Remodel Health where you can download their free Church Buyer’s Guide and eBook.

Click here to access their free resources.

What Do You See?

Any other reasons you see for the level of criticism leaders are facing right now?

And what do you do to stay engaged, healthy and encouraged?

We need to make it through this prolonged crisis together.

Scroll down and leave a comment!

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Source: Pastors, Here’s Why Everyone’s So Mad At You Right Now

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by Carey Nieuwhof: I admit it, I can be a little sensitive to criticism.

Whenever I’m finished giving a sermon or talk, you know what I really want to hear?

You crushed it.

That was world-class.

Best message ever.

That was spectacular. Show me the secret sauce.

Okay that’s over-the-top, but isn’t that kind of what you want to hear too?

Underneath that, of course, if you drill down a few levels, is a lot of insecurity. And some fear.

I’ve literally spent decades trying to figure out how to become more secure and how to receive honest feedback. It’s a learned behavior not be defensive and to welcome feedback.

So how do you do that? Well, that’s what I want to help you with today.

Because the truth is, leaders who only want praise never get better and they never grow.

Not only do you not hear what you need to hear, people stop telling you what they want to tell you because, well, you’re just not open.

Leaders who only want to hear praise never get better and they never grow.Click To Tweet

Even if you protect your little feelings and solicit nothing or hear only praise, everybody actually has an opinion about your message. Trust me, they’re talking about it/not talking about it in the foyer, on the ride home or at lunch.

So even if you don’t evaluate your message, I promise you everyone else does.

As a result, every preacher should get an accurate assessment of how the sermon went. And that’s hard too.

By the way—speaking of getting better— The Art of Better Preaching, a 12 part course I developed with Mark Clark, lead pastor of a rapidly growing megachurch in Vancouver BC. The course is open for just a few more days at current pricing if you’re interested in getting the best resource on communication I offer.

Over 1000 leaders have taken the course and we just made it easier than ever, adding a 3 part payment plan to make taking the course even easier (it’s still a fraction of the price of any seminary course you’d take). One of the big questions from participants is “Where was a course like this when I was in seminary?”

Check it out here.

But back to our key question: how do you get an accurate, helpful assessment of your message in a way that doesn’t crush you?

Here are 5 tips that have helped me. (I saved the best for last.)

Click To Tweet

1. Get Over Your Natural Defensiveness

Great sermon evaluation starts with you. More particularly, it starts with how open you truly are to the truth.

So here’s some truth. There’s a part of me that wants everyone to tell me that I knocked it out of the park every single time I talk. That I crushed it. That I’m the best preacher they’ve ever heard preaching the best message they’ve ever heard.

Except, of course, that’s not just not true. It can’t be true.

If I don’t check that part of my spirit, people will tell from a mile away. Because your sermon evaluation process will consist mostly of you fishing for compliments.

Preachers who fish for compliments usually only hook half-truths and lies. Nobody wants to burst your bubble or make you feel bad about yourself, so they won’t tell you the truth.

Which is why you need to get over your natural defensiveness and seek honest, real feedback.

Thank the messenger, don’t shoot them. If it hurts, grieve privately. Go for a ride and get it out of your system. But always thank people for whatever they have to tell you.

Growth-minded leaders know the truth is your friend, even when it hurts. Sometimes especially when it hurts.

Growth-minded leaders know the truth is your friend, even when it hurts.Click To Tweet

2. Don’t Settle for What. Discover Why.

Now that you’re working on your defensiveness, you’ll discover that you get all kinds of feedback casually.

Think about the foyer. Most people will tell you it was a good message if they liked it. And I usually go out after a service and find some core staff or volunteers and ask them what they thought. We also have a Monday evaluation meeting with staff where I try to get feedback. So I’m actively seeking feedback.

Here’s the problem with that though: most people will only tell you that they liked your message or didn’t like your message. They’ll say it was good or not so good.

And the conversation almost always stops there (even with staff and team members who are not preachers)—which makes it rather unhelpful.

When you get that kind of feedback (even through casual conversation or formal evaluation), go one step further and ask the person this simple question: why? 

Why was it good? Why was it not my best? Tell me more….I’m open.

Do that, and you’ll learn a ton.

Maybe some of your ideas didn’t flow logically. Or your passion level was low. Or your delivery was too fast/too slow. Maybe one or two of your points weren’t clear.

That’s helpful feedback. And if you’re going into another service, it will help you do a mid-course correction.

When it comes to sermon feedback, don’t settle for what. Ask why. Why is helpful. It’s where the real learning comes.

When it comes to sermon feedback, don’t settle for what. Ask why.Click To Tweet

3. Watch Yourself. Listen to Yourself.

I’m well aware that most non-narcissists hate the sound of their own voice. I have spent most of my life getting used to my voice and thinking “Do I really sound like that?”

Want to make it even worse? Watch yourself on video. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve thought I actually do that? Man, I look so awkward.

So I get the natural inclination most of us have to not listen to ourselves or watch our messages back. And that’s a mistake.

Preachers, as painful as it is, watch yourself preach. Everyone else has to. You should never expect hundreds or thousands of people to watch you if you won’t watch you.

Preachers, as painful as it is, watch yourself preach. Everyone else has to.Click To Tweet

You’ll learn so much. From verbal ticks (um, ah), to annoying habits (why do I always touch my glasses or put my hands in my pocket?) to moments in the message that just didn’t work, you’ll see yourself more accurately.

But it’s not all negative. You’ll see what worked too. You’ll see what connected and what didn’t.

I have learned so much listening back to my messages and watching myself on video, even though every time I have to make myself play the message back.

You may be your own worst critic, but if you’re not, everyone else will be.

So endure the pain, and watch and listen.

You may be your own worst critic, but if you’re not, everyone else will be.Click To Tweet

4. Watch and Listen with a Friend

I haven’t done this as much as I should, but whenever I have done this it’s so helpful.

Watch and listen to yourself with a friend you trust who will give you honest, accurate feedback. Someone who loves you enough to tell you the truth.

You might think you’re moving around awkwardly and they’ll say that actually you’re not. That it’s fine or endearing. Conversely, you may think you’re as smooth as butter and they may tell you that all your slouching or weird arm movements take away from the message.

The combination of your own commitment to self-improvement by watching and listening back and doing the same with a friend from time to time will improve your preaching immensely.

5. Get A Peer Who’s Better Than You To Review It

Saved my favorite and most valuable tip to last.

You know who the best evaluator your preaching will be? Another professional communicator who will tell you the truth.

The challenge with getting a non-communicator to evaluate your communication is that they will be hard-pressed to tell you exactly why something worked or didn’t work and how to get better. They don’t do what you do, so their ability to help is limited.

Imagine knowing nothing about race cars, heading to a track and trying to advise a pro racer on how to shave 2 seconds off his lap. I mean what would you say? Go faster? You just don’t have the expertise to give meaningful advice.

I just submitted the first draft for my fifth book to the publisher, and I had the opportunity to have a multiple New York Times Best Selling author read it as well. Her feedback was hands down some of the best feedback on my writing I ever got. Sure, she was very affirming, but she told me what was missing, told me what worked and didn’t work for her and told me specifically what she’d love to see more of.

Guess what? The second draft is going to address every single one of her points. She should know. She’s sold millions of books.

You may not get a world-class preacher to review your sermon, but you can find someone to do it. And when they do, listen.

A fellow preacher (who’s even a bit better than you) can be your best evaluator. He or she can tell you why something worked or why it didn’t, why your treatment of the text was solid or why you got lost in the first century and didn’t bridge things well for the 21st century. What you should deliver less of and what you could do more of. In the same way, another preacher can help you brainstorm on better application examples, better intros, better endings.

They’re practitioners. They have studied both theology and the craft of preaching.

Don’t have anyone on your staff who can fit that bill? Ask a colleague or preacher across town. Even doing that a couple times a year can immensely improve your speaking.

Your best sermon evaluation will always come from a colleague who understands the craft.Click To Tweet

Get the Art of Better Preaching Before the Price Goes Up

Ever wish someone could come alongside you to walk you through the finer points of the art of better preaching?

That’s exactly what my good friend Mark Clark and I do in our course, The Art of Better Preaching. We’ve even got a full unit on how to leave your notes behind the next time you give a talk.

And for just a week more, it’s available at current pricing.

Every week, Mark and I preach to thousands of churched and unchurched people, Mark at Village Church in Vancouver BC, and me at Connexus Church north of Toronto. We have very different styles, which means this course is not a preach-just-like-me approach to preaching.

You can customize it to help you preach better messages, and it draws from the rich tradition of different approaches that actually connect with unchurched people. Plus, we share our best secrets on how to craft the best messages we know how to create.

In the course, Mark and I cover:

The Why and How of Preaching
How to Preach to the Unchurched
How to Give a Talk Without Using Notes
How to Craft a Killer Bottom Line So People Remember Your Talk Years Later
How to Stay Fresh over the Long Haul

And much more.

We’re so excited to help you become the best communicator you can be.

Sunday’s coming. Boost your ability to connect!

Get the Art of Better Preaching at this low price before it’s too late! 

What’s Helped You Get Better?

How do you solicit criticism that helps you grow as a communicator?

Scroll down and leave a comment!

The post 5 Ways To Get Feedback On Your Preaching Without Crushing Your Feelings appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: 5 Ways To Get Feedback On Your Preaching Without Crushing Your Feelings

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Source: Overcoming Three Big Leadership Fears

The post Overcoming Three Big Leadership Fears appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Carey Nieuwhof: Life is emotional. But if you’re in ministry, it feels like it’s even a little more emotional.

As in, crazy-emotional-roller-coaster emotional.

That’s true even if you think of yourself as more rational than emotional. Sometimes you get surprised by how intense ministry is. I started out in my twenties as a lawyer, so emotion wasn’t really a huge part of my wiring.

But within a few years of beginning ministry, I realized that if I didn’t figure out how to navigate the emotions of ministry, I probably wouldn’t make it in the long run.

And looking back on my time in ministry so far,  I can honestly say the biggest crises I’ve had to navigate have not been spiritual or vocational nearly as much as they’ve been emotional.

What I mean by that is I didn’t know how to emotionally cope with the demands of my calling. And, sadly, if you can’t emotionally cope with the demands of your calling, you’ll likely abandon it. Not because you want to, but because you can’t figure out a way to make it work anymore.

If you can’t emotionally cope with the demands of your calling, you’ll probably abandon it.Click To Tweet

My biggest challenges for both paid staff and volunteers seem to involve handling the pressures, challenges, and criticism of ministry.

So, to that end: Why is ministry so emotional for so many?

Here’s my theory. Ministry combines three areas of life that are intensely personal:

Your faith

Your work

And your community

Because of that, it gets confusing.

What you do is what you believe.

What you believe is what you do.

Your friends are also the people you serve and lead.

Throw your family into the mix (because they believe what you believe and are friends with the people you/they lead and serve) and bam – it’s even more confusing…

The post Why Church Leadership Is Such a Crazy Emotional Roller Coaster appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: Why Church Leadership Is Such a Crazy Emotional Roller Coaster

The post Why Church Leadership Is Such a Crazy Emotional Roller Coaster appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Carey Nieuwhof: It’s easy to believe that there will come a day when your church or organization will never struggle and you’ll never struggle as a leader.

As tempting as that is to believe, it’s just not true.

Every church struggles. And every leader struggles. And—yes—even growing churches struggle.

I outlined the struggles smaller churches experience in my post 5 Tensions Every Small To Mid-Sized Church Leader Feels. Having started ministry in very small churches, I can relate to each of those struggles personally.

But your struggles as a leader or as a church don’t go away when your church starts to grow. They simply change.

I’ve always said I’d rather have the challenges associated with growth than I would the challenges associated with decline (and that’s absolutely true), but it still means you have challenges.

As our church has grown from a handful of people to over 1,500 people who now attend and over 3000 people who call our church home, we’ve navigated all of these challenges. So has almost every church that’s grown. And I’ve felt the same challenges as this blog, my leadership podcast and other things I do have grown.

Here are 9 thing pretty much every leader struggles with as their church or organization starts to grow…

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Source: 9 Surprising Challenges You’ll Face When Your Church Grows

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by Carey Nieuwhof: So you signed up for leadership, but you didn’t really sign up for all the criticism that came with it, did you?

And yet here you are.

Criticism is an almost daily staple for most leaders. You get everything from side comments, to direct challenges, to people who walk out the door, to anonymous notes sent to you by people with no courage.

You dread it. I dread it. Who doesn’t?

In fact, it can completely derail your day, your week, and your work.

So what do you do when it comes your way?

…

The post How To Respond to Critics Like an Emotionally Intelligent Leader Would appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: How To Respond to Critics Like an Emotionally Intelligent Leader Would

The post How To Respond to Critics Like an Emotionally Intelligent Leader Would appeared first on Passion for Planting.