By Shawn Lovejoy: Of all of the tensions you will face as a leader, the tension you will have the most self-doubt and inner turmoil over is the tension around the people you lead.

I am talking about Team Tensions!

Ever felt those?

Thought so. So have I!

While I can’t give you the entire system for building a killer team without killing yourself or your team, I can give you one simple step towards what I call “fostering togetherness” on your team.

In fact, a couple of years ago when the NBA relaunched in the bubble to complete their season during the pandemic, Phil Jackson made the statement, “The team that emerges from the COVID-19 NBA bubble as winners will be the team that has the strongest sense of ‘togetherness.’”

Togetherness is the competitive advantage of effective teams in today’s culture; the ability to foster it is the superpower of today’s most effective leaders.

Here’s your simple step:

Schedule Strategic One-on-One Meetings with everyone who directly reports to you. 

Are you already having these meetings? Great! This article will help you get better at them by giving you a simple system.

Are you not having these meetings? You should be! Don’t beat yourself up, just make the adjustment and add them to your calendar.

(Do you have too many people reporting to you? We would love to coach you through that, but you can start the process toward narrowing that focus in our free teams course.)

Let me give you a simple focus and formula to get you started having deeply impactful one-on-one meetings with your team.

First, when meeting with the individuals on your team, be sure to…

Build People Rather Than Institutions. 

Maximize the potential of people and team around you. Not programs, productions, problems, processes…people.

This meeting is the time to get to know them personally. Ask about their family, their hobbies, their dreams. Share about your family, what you did over the weekend, the things you dream of.

Humanize this meeting and your team will begin to approach you with more trust and honesty.

Next, during your meeting…

Create a Simple, Predictable Agenda.

What is happening to predictability on intensely competitive, rapidly changing teams (especially in a virtual environment)? It is being destroyed.

The practices that leaders are adopting to make their teams more competitive often ignore the human need for predictability.

Many leaders I coach are frustrated by this, but the truth is, unpredictable meetings lead to erratic results and eroded trust.

Every one-on-one meeting should include space for asking good questions, listening, getting updates on projects, coaching and accountability.

Here is a short list of 4 good questions to ask in every one-on-one meeting with your team:

1. What’s working?

If your team is filled with high capacity leaders, they naturally focus on what needs to be fixed. Force them to start by identifying where they’re winning. Celebrate with them and celebrate them.

Hearing what’s working also gives you perspective. You learn what your team thinks is most important, which helps you coach or be in the mind of your team. You also learn of what could be potential competitive advantages for your organization.

2. What are you challenged with?

Word this question right. Don’t ask what isn’t working. Ask what is challenging them personally. This opens you up to more honesty and for them to share more from their personal lives. When trust is high you should hear about work challenges and private challenges organically in the same conversation.

3. What do you need from me?

Availing yourself to serve your team is more than just symbolic leadership. Leaning into one issue someone on your team is having for just a few minutes can possibly fix a problem they have spent hours on, not to mention the value you add to them simply by be present in their problem.

4. How can I pray for you?

I am a spiritual person. That means I am a spiritual leader. You may not be. If not, this question may not be for you. For me, I want to pray with my team. In some instances, we pray on the spot. In the right setting, this is a valuable tool to help those on your team be valued at the highest level as human beings.

One of our coaches would love to walk you and your team through our process of building healthy one-on-one meetings, but first, let’s start by discovering how coaching could best serve you and your team on a Strategy Call. Schedule a call today!

Schedule your strategy call

— We JUST Launched THE COURAGETOLEAD PODCAST with Shawn Lovejoy SEASON 2 —

SEASON 2 of the podcast is filled with practical coaching from myself as well as interviews with seasoned leaders like Bill High from SIGNATRY: a Global Christian Foundation, Derwin Gray from Transformation Church, and Elizabeth Dixon from Chick-fil-A!

Episode 1, titled “The #1 Thing That Keeps Me Awake at Night” just dropped on May 18th.

Subscribe today!

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Source: How To Lead Better One-on-One Meetings

The post How To Lead Better One-on-One Meetings appeared first on Passion for Planting.

By: Carey Nieuwhof

Ever wonder if your organization’s culture is toxic?

Apparently, not enough leaders do.

According to a Gallup survey, only 15% of employees globally are engaged at work.

In America, 30% of employees are engaged, which at first sounds great.

Except that means that 70% of your workforce feels like their job is grinding the life of out of them. 70% of the people you’ve hired or who are part of your organization aren’t showing up with their best, productivity is low and your mission is suffering.

Underneath that is almost always some kind of unhealthy or toxic culture that demotivates your team.

As a result, every day, good people leave. People don’t quit jobs, they quit bosses and cultures.

One of the most important roles you have as a leader is to create a healthy culture that attracts and keeps healthy team members.

One of the challenges in leadership is that the boss is often the last to know that their work culture is toxic.

Leaders consistently overestimate how healthy they are and how healthy their team is.

That’s why I developed a new resource for leaders called The 3 Step Guide to Developing Better Value Statements. It’s free. You can get instant access here.

So how would you know your organization’s culture is toxic?

Here are ten signs.

People don’t quit jobs, they quit bosses and cultures.

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1. You talk ABOUT people, not to THEM

The golden rule of conflict is this: talk to the person you have an issue with, not about them.

In too many organizations, the opposite is true.

People talk about people rather than to them.

Companies are bad that this, but so our churches. Even in churches, conflict gets swept under the carpet, played out in a passive agressive way or spills out into social media.

The church should the BEST organization in the world in dealing with conflict. Often, we can be the worst.

The church should the BEST organization in the world in dealing with conflict. Often, we can be the worst.

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The next time you want to talk about someone (i.e. gossip), talk to them instead.

If you can’t or won’t, then it’s either not that big of an issue, so let it go. Or, you have a problem deeper than you realize. Get some help.

This also stops gossip dead in its tracks.

The next time you want to talk about someone (i.e. gossip), talk to them instead.

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2. You have to play politics to get anything done

One sure sign of a toxic culture is that you have to play politics to get anything done.

You know things have gotten political in your organization when:

Decisions rarely get made the way they’re supposed to be made.

Most decisions happen outside of meetings or any agreed-upon process.

You can’t get a yes without offering something in return.

You have to continually lobby to be heard.

If you’re always jockeying, lobbying and courting favor to get the right decision made, it’s a sign your organization is unhealthy.

In the local church in particular, having to play politics to win is a sure sign there’s sin.

When you do what you say you’re going to do the way you said you’re going to do it, you bring health to an organization.

In any organization, but in the local church in particular, having to play politics to win is a sure sign there’s sin.

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3. What gets said publicly is different from what’s happening privately

Another sign things are becoming toxic is when what gets said publicly is different than what happened privately.

When there’s spin on every issue and nothing can be said publicly without ‘agreeing’ on what gets said first, you’re in dangerous territory.

For sure, there are times where a situation is delicate and you will want to ‘agree’ on what gets said publicly to honour everyone involved, but in too many organizations few things that get done privately can be announced the same way publicly.

And to be sure…when you’re crafting any kind of a public statement, you want to pay attention to the words you use and perhaps even find agreement on them.

But the end product should never be the opposite or even different than what actually happened

I have good fortune of being part of several healthy organizations. I love it when people pull me aside and ask (in hushed tones), “So what’s the real story?” and I get to tell them “Actually, that is the real story.”

Living in that kind of culture really helps you sleep at night too.

You know your culture is toxic when there’s spin on every issue and nothing can be said publicly without ‘agreeing’ on what gets said first

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4. Conflict happens and is never addressed

Conflict is normal. You can’t have two people hang out for long without some differences arising.

Yet so many organizations are in perpetual fighting mode. Someone’s always at way with someone else.

Another reason churches fight regularly is because personal preferences have trumped organizational mission.

Left unattended, conflict can pit one selfish person or group against another.

A lot of bosses won’t address conflict or help resolve it in a healthy, direction and respectful way.

Unresolved or unhealthy conflict saps the strength out of most organizations.

If your organization is stagnant and in conflict, there should zero mystery as to why it isn’t growing.

If your organization is stagnant and in conflict, there should zero mystery as to why it isn’t growing.

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5. There’s an entrenched ‘us’ and ‘them’ mentality

Every organization should be a ‘we,’ not an ‘us’ and ‘them.’

Whether the ‘us’ and ‘them’ mentality exists between factions in your organization or between you and the outside forces, it’s always fatal to health and growth.

The job of a leader is to raise vision high enough and urgently enough for all of us to become bigger than any of us.

The job of a leader is to raise vision high enough and urgently enough for all of us to become bigger than any of us.

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6. No one takes responsibility

So who’s taking responsibility for moving the mission forward?

In unhealthy cultures the answers sound like this:

No one.

Someone.

Anybody but me.

As long as things are someone else’s responsibility, things will never get better.

Unhealthy leaders assign blame. Healthy leaders assume responsibility.

Unhealthy leaders assign blame. Healthy leaders assume responsibility.

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7. You can’t tell the truth

One sure sign a culture has gone toxic is when you feel you can’t tell the truth at work, so you go home ‘dump’ all the truth out on your spouse or best friend instead.

There’s only one problem with that: someone who doesn’t work where you work can’t solve your workplace issues.

But your boss can.

One of the best things you can do as a boss is to encourage your team to speak freely, to tell you the truth…without fear of consequences.

You won’t love everything you hear.

But if you thank them for the feedback, never penalize them for telling you the truth, and take action, you’ll love hearing about the things that are bothering them far more than you’ll love hearing that one of your top team members is leaving.

And, once you know what the real issues are, you can start to solve them.

Someone who doesn’t work where you work can’t solve your workplace issues.

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8. Everyone seems fine with good enough

Toxicity isn’t just about the presence of bad things. It’s also about the absence of great things.

Far too often in workplaces, people settle for good enough when it’s really not, well, good at all.

Toxicity isn’t just about the presence of bad things. It’s also about the absence of great things.

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High capacity leaders are repulsed by mediocrity. The best team members actually crave high levels of challenge and want things to be better, if not great.

Too many organizations allow what is good to stand in the way of what could be great. The surest way to ensure a mediocre future is to resign yourself to a mediocre present.

Too many organizations allow what is good to stand in the way of what could be great. The surest way to ensure a mediocre future is to resign yourself to a mediocre present.

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9. There’s very little gratitude

Most people want to know they’re making a difference. Very few bosses tell them they are.

Recognition and gratitude is a simple way to reduce employee turnover and absenteeism and raise employee engagement.

If your team doesn’t know whether they’re making a difference, they’ll be less motivated to make a difference.

If your team doesn’t know whether they’re making a difference, they’ll be less motivated to make a difference.

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10. Only the boss’ opinion matters

It’s amazing that so many leaders hire a team and never really listen to them.

That’s also one more sign of an unhealthy culture.

It’s easy to think that once you’ve become a leader or boss, it gives you the right to call the shots and make the team and organization bend to your wishes. But as Patrick Lencioni argues, that’s the opposite of true leadership.

As Andy Stanley says, leaders who refuse to listen will eventually be surrounded by people with nothing to say.

Leaders who refuse to listen will eventually be surrounded by people with nothing to say. @andystanley

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Get Your FREE Guide to Creating Better Cultural Value Statements

Want to improve your team culture?

Better team culture gets fueled by better value statements.

But how to do create them can be so complicated.

How:

Do you know which values to choose?
Do you avoid creating value statements people roll their eyes at or think are so obvious they mean nothing?
Can you be sure the values are accurate but still stretch you?

I spent years reading books and studying how to create value statements until I had a breakthrough on how to create cultural value statements that were both accurate and aspirational, and that the entire team embraced.

I’ve broken that process down into three simple steps that can get you improving your organization’s culture and values today.

You can get free instant access to The 3 Step Guide to Developing Better Value Statements here.

What Signs of Toxic Culture Would You Add?

This could have been a 41 point blog post, but I stopped at 10.

What signs of a toxic culture have you seen or experienced?

Scroll down and leave a comment.

The post 10 Signs Your Organization’s Culture is Toxic appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: 10 Signs Your Organization’s Culture is Toxic

The post 10 Signs Your Organization’s Culture is Toxic appeared first on Passion for Planting.

By: UnSeminary

Welcome to this week’s unSeminary podcast. Today we are talking to Rob Deveney, executive pastor at Twin Rivers Church.

Twin Rivers Church is located in St. Louis, Missouri. It started as a small denominational church, but has grown over the last 90 years into three locations around St. Louis.

Rob is with us today to talk about what it takes to maintain high levels of trust among the staff as the church has grown.

Be responsible to each other. // A lot of responsibility comes with a large church and staff. The responsibility is not just to the congregation and ministry, but also for the staff to each other. When someone starts working for a church, that organization isn’t just their employer, but also their church family and pastoral support. Leaning too much in one of these directions or the other can cause either job performance or relationships to suffer. Build trust. // The executive team has a strong responsibility to protect the church’s culture. At Twin Rivers, it’s very important to them to be a high-trust organization. This looks like staff trusting a supervisor to be honest, believing they aren’t trying to manipulate or just trying to get as much work out of an employee as possible, but also trying to pastor and develop church staff to be the best leaders they can be. Rob wants his staff to fulfill the callings that God has put on their lives as much as he wants to fulfill the calling he has on his own life.Lead yourself first. // As a member of the executive team, Rob surrounds himself with people who lift him up and ground him in his weaknesses and strengths so he can do that in turn for his team. He is fairly opposite in personality with the lead pastor and so he can often bring a different perspective to the table. At the same time, the lead pastor makes it safe for Rob to bring his heart to the table and provides valuable insight into Rob’s blindspots.Work to understand one another. // Another important piece to navigate is how to approach different people on staff. At Twin Rivers they use personality profiles, spiritual gift tests and other resources to understand each other better. Rob approaches people differently based on how they hear things, how they process information, as well as what motivates and drives them. The lead pastor does this with the executive team as well. When an issue does arise with a team member, talk to them privately about it. On the flip side, publicly celebrate a team member’s wins.Listen to any problems faced. // When you face a crisis as a church, you learn what kind of environment you actually have. Is it an environment of trust? Do people feel safe being honest? During the pandemic, Rob’s highest stress was not about what the world was going through, but rather seeking to understand the things his staff was going through. In a crisis, begin encouraging honesty and talking with your staff early. Determine their needs and what problems they may encounter. Determine any changes that may need to be made. Really listen and ask the tough questions to understand what your staff is facing. Finally, focus on what your church’s purpose is if you feel things are getting sidelined.

You can learn more about Twin Rivers Church at www.twinrivers.church.

Thank you for tuning in!

There are a lot of podcasts you could be tuning into today, but you chose unSeminary, and I’m grateful for that. If you enjoyed today’s show, please share it by using the social media buttons you see at the left hand side of this page. Also, kindly consider taking the 60-seconds it takes to leave an honest review and rating for the podcast on iTunes, they’re extremely helpful when it comes to the ranking of the show and you can bet that I read every single one of them personally!

Lastly, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, to get automatic updates every time a new episode goes live!

Thank You to This Episode’s Sponsor: Ministry Grid

Ministry Grid makes it simple to train every volunteer and leader in your church. With a library of over 3,500 videos and 850 courses, you will find training for every ministry area and leadership level.

To get unlimited access to Ministry Grid for just $597, just go to? MinistryGrid.com/unSeminary?

Source: Building High Trust Teams in Your Church with Rob Deveney

The post Building High Trust Teams in Your Church with Rob Deveney appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Shawn Lovejoy: Has your team ever gotten along just enough to keep moving along? Conflict goes unresolved, under-performers skate by with no accountability, toxicity becomes the norm and morale is non-existent? Some organizations exist in that space. Having harmony on the exterior while tension exists just under the surface. Artificial harmony beneath the surface eventually leads to disunity at the surface. 

These are the moments when leaders lead. Leadership requires daily courageous conversations! Especially with people who aren’t getting the job done or don’t display the values to which we claim to hold.

As you wade into these conversations, I want to give you some “worst practices” to avoid at all costs.

Assigning Blame

So many leaders enter a coaching or corrective conversation ready to blame the other person. Rather than placing blame on the person you’re meeting with, level the playing field by starting the conversation with, “It could just be me, but…” before confronting the issue at hand. Avoiding accusation opens people up to receive development from you rather than being defensive towards you. Pre-deciding someone is to blame blocks you from being able hear that person’s side of the story. Besides, people who blame things rarely change things. Don’t assign blame, lead for change.

Texting Rather Than Talking

Tone, facial expressions, volume and posture often communicate deeper than words. Guess what, none of those things can be conveyed better than face-to-face. Too many leaders rely on text, direct messages or email to handle conflict. Almost every time you do this, your team reads your message through the lens of a worst case scenario. When it comes to quick relays of information or details, text and email work well. For a hard conversation, face-to-face is the only acceptable way to engage. Let me be clear, texting a hard conversation is the opposite of courageous and does more harm than good. 

Assuming the Worst

Most of us are overexposed to negativity. We’re almost hardwired to think the worst about a person or their motives before we know the truth. Discipline your emotions to assume the best about the team member you’re having a difficult conversation with. Assumptions influence outcomes. When you are intentional about searching for good in others, they can sense that and often respond accordingly. Entering these tough discussions by assuming the best also reshapes how you see people. When you look for the gold in people you don’t focus as much on the dirt.

When you handle conflict the right way, you bring peace to your team and life. Deal with these conversations using “worst practices” like this, and your result will be drama! Drama in your organization, on your team, in your relationships, in your leadership and in your life!

Conflict is inevitable; but Drama is a choice. Courageous conversations are one key to creating a drama-free organization…but it’s just one of the keys!

You’re invited to join me for a free training designed to help you “drama-proof” your culture. Join me on October 15th at 10amCST for “Creating a Drama Free Culture.” All you have to do is SIGN UP HERE!

sign up now!

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Source: The Wrong Way To Have Hard Conversations

The post The Wrong Way To Have Hard Conversations appeared first on Passion for Planting.