By: Brandon A. Cox

Source: Time Management Matters in a Pandemic More Than Ever

The post Time Management Matters in a Pandemic More Than Ever appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Shawn Lovejoy: Everyone is busy.

The temptation is to think that just because we’re very busy, that we’re being effective, or productive.

Let me be clear: Busy or not, if you are not being productive…you are wasting your time!

I am more convinced than ever before, that we can be VERY busy and yet be VERY ineffective.

How can we be BOTH effective, and busy? The answer is incredible simple to understand and incredibly difficult to do.

Being both busy and effective requires:

Doing the right things: WHAT is important.

At the right times: WHEN it is important.

For the right reasons: WHY it is important.

Example: Returning phone calls is important to me. However, spending time with God and nurturing my own vitality are the MOST IMPORTANT things for me. So…I don’t take or return many calls early in the morning, because that is when my mind is the freshest and I want to give my best mental energy to God. I rob from the urgent to focus on the most important.

If I answered every phone call at everyone else’s whim in the mornings, it would be impossible to devote large chunks of uninterrupted time when my mind is the freshest to this task.

So I have scheduled time slots each day when I return most phone calls. If I can’t connect with that person then, I try at the end of the day.

This approach to managing my day allows me to be both busy and effective. What about you? What are ways you think you could better be both busy and effective?

What are YOUR right things? Right times? Right reasons?

Source: How To Stop Wasting Your Time

The post How To Stop Wasting Your Time appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Carey Nieuwhof: As a leader, there are things you do every day.

Some help—others, not so much.

I’ve found that as I’ve grown as a leader, I’ve regularly had to change how I think, how I lead and even what I say.

Fortunately, there are hacks you can learn along the way that will help you get better faster.

What follows are some things you can easily banish as a leader starting today. Eliminating all of them or most of them will give you immediate traction.

Here are 7 things you should stop doing today if you want to make progress.

1. Lead by intentions

Your kids aren’t going to remember your intentions. Neither will your wife or your church. The people who count on you only ever see your actions.

Which likely means no one’s going to stand next to your casket or urn and say “He wished he was nicer” or “He had always hoped to be more strategic” or “She really wanted to overcome her fear”.

Legacies never get built on intentions. They’re built on action.

So get over your intentions and start acting.

Legacies never get built on intentions. They’re built on action.Click To Tweet

2. Use words that start with “Some”

If you want to get nothing meaningful done, just use words that start with “some” a lot. Like in every conversation or meeting you’re in.

What ‘some’ words? Well….

Somebody

Someday

Sometime

Something

These words end up sounding like this: Somebody should do something about that sometime someday.

Guaranteed zero action happens. Ever.

Leadership is not simply talk. In fact, talking about doing something again and again is not leadership, it’s delusion.

Talking about doing something again and again is not leadership, it’s delusion.Click To Tweet

There’s only one ‘some’ word I can think of that I like, and that’s somehow.

Somehow can be an amazing word when you’re up against and impossible task and someone asks you “How on earth will we do this?” and you reply “I don’t know. But somehow we’ll figure it out.”

Now that’s awesome.

But someone somewhere sometimes means no-one nowhere ever. Trust me.

Someone, somewhere, sometimes means no-one nowhere ever.Click To Tweet

3. Unnecessary meetings

The value of meetings once you get beyond the creative process, or meetings to nail down a few executional details or meetings connect for a check-in to sync up the team is pretty low.

For the most part, meetings are the enemy of work.

Far too many leaders waste their lives in meetings. Instead of doing what they’re called to do, they meet about what they’re supposed to be doing.

Dreams can be born in meetings, but far more often, dreams die in meetings.

Meetings are the enemy of work. Do your work instead.

Meetings are the enemy of work. Do your work instead.Click To Tweet

4. Fear

Fear is the thief of hope. It kills leadership. It murders courage.

Way too many leaders I know, live in fear.

The difference between effective leaders and ineffective leaders is simple: all leaders feel fear. The effective ones push past it.

Fear is the thief of hope. It kills leadership. It murders courage.Click To Tweet

So what’s the antidote to fear?

While there are a few, believe it or not, I think one of the antidotes to fear is the fear the right thing.

If you’re going to be afraid, I suggest you fear this:

Be afraid of never accomplishing your mission.

That will give you courage, or at least determination. And that in turn, will grow your faith.

If you’re going to be afraid, be afraid of never accomplishing your mission.Click To Tweet

5. The Desire to Be Liked

Leadership requires you to take people to destinations they would not go without your leadership.

Stop for a moment and, if you would, re-read that sentence.

Do you see the challenge?

Leadership is inherently difficult because it requires a leader to take people where they don’t naturally want to go.

So you have a choice as a leader.

You can focus on leading people, or focus on being liked.

When you focus on being liked, you will instinctively try to please the people you’re leading. And when you do, you will become confused.

Pleasing people is inherently confusing because people don’t agree. One person wants it one way. Another wants it another way.

And soon, you’re bending over backward to make everyone happy, which of course means that in the end, you will end up making no one happy, including yourself. It’s actually a recipe for misery for everyone.

It’s also a recipe for inertia.

If you focus on being liked, you’ll never lead. You will never have the courage to do what needs to be done.

If you focus on being liked, you’ll never lead.Click To Tweet

6. Selfishness

Ambition can be a good thing. It’s great to have hopes and dreams for your mission.

But selfish ambition is a different creature.

Ambition kills servants of God and turns them into servants of themselves.

Enough said.

Ambition kills servants of God and turns them into servants of themselves.Click To Tweet

7. Blaming Others

It’s so easy to blame everyone else and everything else for your lack of progress as a leader.

If you want to keep not making progress, keep blaming others.

The opposite of blame is responsibility. If you think about the leaders you admire most, they’re probably the most responsible leaders you know.

Great leaders never assign blame. Instead, they assume responsibility.

Great leaders never assign blame. Instead, they assume responsibility.Click To Tweet

Get Ahead…Work On You

It is a crazy world, and if you’re not careful, it can take you under. That’s what happened to me when, after my first decade in leadership, I burned out.

If you’re trying to find the time for what matters most in life, my High Impact Leader course, is my online, on-demand course designed to help you get time, energy and priorities working in your favour.

Many leaders who have taken it are recovering 3 productive hours a day.  That’s about 1000 hours of found time each year. That’s a lot of time for what matters most.

Here are what some alumni are saying about The High Impact Leader Course”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you for providing the course again. It has absolutely made an impact in my life and family already that I can’t even describe.” – Joel Rowland, Clayton County, North Carolina

“Just wow.  Thank you, thank you.” Dave Campbell,  Sioux Falls South Dakota

“A game changer.” Pam Perkins,  Colorado Springs, Colorado

Curious? Want to beat overwhelm and have the time to reflect, rest and reinvent yourself?

Click here to learn more or get instant access.

What About You?

Those are 7 things I check myself on regularly.

What about you? What would you add to the list?

Scroll down and leave a comment!

The post Your Stop Doing List: 7 Things To Banish Today To Make Progress appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: Your Stop Doing List: 7 Things To Banish Today To Make Progress

The post Your Stop Doing List: 7 Things To Banish Today To Make Progress appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Carey Nieuwhof: When she was in eigth grade, Margaret Feinberg’s teachers asked the class to write a story. While most students turned in four pages, Margaret turned in a 127 page book.

Today, Margaret has sold over a million books and in this episode, we unpack how not being one of the cool kids shaped Margaret for the future, dissect the daily disciplines she uses to create content, why she spends 95% of her time as a writer marketing, and why never mixing business and pleasure has been so energizing for her.

Welcome to Episode 267 of the podcast. Listen and access the show notes below or search for the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and listen for free.

Guest Links

Margaret Feinberg | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | Joycast | Books & More

Episode Links

Want to reach more people online? Pro Media Fire has the media solution that’s right for your church at promediafire.com/carey. Podcast listeners receive 10% off for life.

Get your volunteers ready to serve with simple online training. Try TrainedUp free for 14 days at servehq.church.

Relevant Media Group

Anatomy of the Soul by Curt Thompson

Into the Silent Land by Martin Laird

3 Insights from Margaret

1. Draw clear lines between work trips and vacations

Logic would say if you’re going somewhere and someone else is covering your travel, it would make sense to tag on a few days either before or after for vacation and rest. The problem that Margaret and her husband have found is that they never fully leave work mode throughout the duration of the trip. Whether they do the vacation portion on the frontend or the backend, their brains never fully disengage from work.

When Margaret and her husband would return from these trips, they would feel more tired and drained than when they left. They now completely separate personal trips from work trips and it has been game-changing for them. Margaret’s rhythm while on a vacation is to spend 10 minutes a day on high-priority email and spend 2 and a half hours working during the middle of the trip. She also does her best to leave her phone in her hotel room as often as possible.

2. In your relationship with God, not everything should be “for sale”

In this life of leadership, and especially church leadership, you can easily make it so that you’re sharing everything you discover from God with others. That is not a healthy place to live. If we are going to stay healthy as leaders, we need to be able to keep a few things just between God and us.

This is really tempting as a preacher, writer, podcaster, or blogger. It is so easy to use those really good lessons from God for our platform, but we need to have a filter so that we have a few things that we keep between God and us. There’s something so healthy and so rich for leaders who practice this. It allows them to have a more unique and personal relationship with God.

3. Writing should be an act of self-sacrifice

Oftentimes, writers sit down and the only thing they write about is themselves. This is a huge problem if you want to reach a broader audience. If you write for yourself, you are the only one who’s going to read your book. As authors and content creators, we have to constantly be thinking about what our audience needs and how we can serve them.

It is helpful to think of an “avatar” that you are trying to write for. Imagine this person’s life situations, struggles, challenges, and what you can do to help them. Margaret often found that the avatars she was trying to serve with her books looked similar to the friends that had become a huge part of her life. Margaret is constantly trying to find ways to practically add value to those people’s lives. She views her writing as an act of love for her audience.

Quotes from Episode 267

If you write for yourself, you are the only one who’s going to read your book. @mafeinbergClick To Tweet

Even if it’s junk, even if it’s not logical, just get it written. @jonacuffClick To Tweet

Writing is an act of self-sacrifice…When I write, I feel the holy hum of God’s presence. @mafeinbergClick To Tweet

When we sit down at a table, we long for so much more than the food on the table. @mafeinbergClick To Tweet

Read or Download the Transcript for Episode 267

Looking for a key quote? More of a reader?

Read or download a free PDF transcript of this episode here.

Get Your Church Growing (Again…or for the First Time)

Getting a stuck church growing, or helping a church that’s reaching new people grow even further can seem daunting.

It doesn’t have to be.

Whether you’re a church that isn’t growing, has plateaued, or whether you wish your church was growing faster than it is, I’d love to help you break through. That’s why I created the Church Growth Masterclass.

The Church Growth Masterclass is everything I wish I knew about church growth when I got into ministry more than 20 years ago.

Naturally, I can’t make a church grow. You can’t make a church grow. Only God can do that.

But I believe you can position your church to grow.

You can knock down the barriers that keep you from growing. You can eliminate the things that keep your church from growing and implement some strategies that will help you reach far more people. That’s what I’d love to help you do in the Church Growth Masterclass.

In the Church Growth Masterclass I’ll show you:

The 10 reasons your church isn’t growing
Why even committed church-goers aren’t attending as often as before
How to tell if your church leaders are getting burned out
The 5 keys to your church better impacting millennials.
What to do when a church wants to grow … but not change
5 essentials for church growth
5 disruptive church trends to watch—and how to respond
How to increase church attendance by increasing engagement.

The Church Growth Masterclass includes a complete set of videos that you can play with your team, board or staff, PDF workbooks that will help you tackle the issues you’re facing, and bonus materials that will help you navigate the most pressing issues facing churches that want to reach their cities today.

You can learn more and gain instant access to the course today.

Subscribed Yet? 

Subscribe for free and never miss out on wisdom from world-class leaders like Brian Houston, Andy Stanley, Craig Groeschel, Nancy Duarte, Henry Cloud, Patrick Lencioni, Francis Chan, Ann Voskamp, Erwin McManus and many others.

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Spread the Word. Leave a Rating and Review

Hopefully, this episode has helped you lead like never before. That’s my goal. If you appreciated it, could you share the love?

The best way to do that is to rate the podcast on Apple Podcasts and leave us a brief review! You can do the same on Stitcher and on TuneIn as well.

Your ratings and reviews help us place the podcast in front of new leaders and listeners. Your feedback also lets me know how I can better serve you.

Thank you for being so awesome.

Next Episode: Luis Palau   

Luis Palau has been leading crusades for over 53 years. In this powerful interview, he talks about his friendship with Billy Graham, why crusades were so effective a generation ago, and how he and his team changed the methods to keep the mission alive. Luis is now 84 and has stage 4 cancer, but you’d never know it. He has more energy and passion than most 24 year olds, and shares how he has kept his vitality so strong over eight decades.

Subscribe for free now and you won’t miss Episode 268.

The post CNLP 267: Margaret Feinberg On Why Writing is 95% Marketing (and How to Do It Well) Connecting With Your Audience and The Disciplines That Fuel Content Creation and Vibrant Life appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: CNLP 267: Margaret Feinberg On Why Writing is 95% Marketing (and How to Do It Well) Connecting With Your Audience and The Disciplines That Fuel Content Creation and Vibrant Life

The post CNLP 267: Margaret Feinberg On Why Writing is 95% Marketing (and How to Do It Well) Connecting With Your Audience and The Disciplines That Fuel Content Creation and Vibrant Life appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Carey Nieuwhof: You say things every day as leaders that work against you, not for you.

Have a look at the list below, and you’ll immediately recognize that you probably say some (or all) of these things without even realizing it. They’re almost verbal ticks in our culture. They’re stock expressions that everyone uses and nobody should.

Even if you don’t really mean anything by them, these statements undermine your effectiveness as a leader.

So why do little phrases matter to your leadership?

Two reasons.

First, what we say reflects what we believe. Especially the little phrases that slip out without giving them much thought. They expose convictions that are worth letting go.

Second, they matter because each of these five phrases I’m sharing with you is a lie—not in the horrible moral sense, but in the sense that they’re actually not true.

Of all the lies we tell, the lies we tell ourselves are the most deadly because they follow us everywhere we go in life and leadership…

The post 6 Stock Expressions Every Leader Should Stop Using appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: 6 Stock Expressions Every Leader Should Stop Using

The post 6 Stock Expressions Every Leader Should Stop Using appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by NewChurches.com: If you’re going to live bivocationally and you don’t take ownership of your schedule, the whole thing is going to be difficult.

In Episode 245 of the NewChurches Q&A Podcast, Daniel and Todd share an excerpt from our Bivocational Ministry course with Hugh Halter. In this excerpt, Hugh shares some practical life lessons and strategies for managing time when juggling work, church, and family.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

Helpful planning strategies to manage your time well.
Why learning to say “no” is vital to the success of a bivocational lifestyle.

Shareable Quotes (#NewChurches):

“Nobody else gets to own you or determine what you do, you have to actually learn how to architect the way that you’re going to live.”—@hughhalter
“If you’re going to live bivocationally and you don’t take ownership of your schedule, the whole thing is going to be difficult.”—@hughhalter
“Whatever you give your leadership to will generally grow.” —@hughhalter
“You can stop 25% of what you’re doing right now and nobody will care.” —@hughhalter

Additional Resources:

If you enjoyed this excerpt, make sure to take a look at our Bivocational Ministry Course
Read about Freelancing, Money, and Finding a Job in BivocationalMinistry
Read this post about The Art of Juggling: Bivocationalism and Church Ministry

Help us Multiply the Mission:

Please subscribe
Leave a rating and review on iTunes
Ask a question by clicking Send Voicemail on the right hand side of NewChurches.com
If you’re on a phone or a tablet, then go to www.speakpipe.com/newchurches to download the app and record your message
When you’re recording, introduce yourself and your context in about 15 seconds and then record your question for 30 seconds

The post Episode 245: Time Management for Bivocational Pastors appeared first on NewChurches.com – Church Planting, Multisite, and Multiplication.

Source: Episode 245: Time Management for Bivocational Pastors

The post Episode 245: Time Management for Bivocational Pastors appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Craig Etheredge: I saw an illustration that has stayed with me for years now because it showed so well our limitations of time. A woman took a large glass jar with various sizes of rocks, pebbles, and sand. She put all the rocks into the jar. As she struggled to get all the rocks in, it became clear that this task was harder than it looked. After she had done all she could do, there were still rocks left on the table. Then, she emptied her jar and tried again, this time putting in the big rocks, followed by the smaller rocks, then the pebbles, and last, the sand. Amazingly, she got all the rocks in the jar.

This is from Craig Ethredege’s eBook, Invest in a Few. Download the eBook here in your favorite format at no cost.

In many ways our lives are like this glass jar. We have a certain capacity for doing good things, and that capacity is limited. We have only a certain number of hours in the day. The rocks and sand represent various tasks and priorities that demand our attention. The big rocks are the most important things like work and family. The smaller rocks are less important things, and the sand represents trivial things we do each day that are usually necessary but not very important in the grand scheme of life. The trick is fitting all we need into the time we have. If you try to randomly push everything into your schedule, you will most likely leave out something important. Your family isn’t going to get your best, your work will suffer, and your list of tasks won’t get done. Certainly the time to make disciples will disappear. But if you intentionally place the big rocks of your life in first, intentionally making room in your schedule for what matters most and fitting the rest around those things, you will be able to accomplish all the things God wants you to accomplish.

Finding the Time

As I talk with people who successfully make disciples year after year, I have discovered that each one of them named disciple making as a big rock in their lives. Making disciples wasn’t something they did with their extra time; it was a top priority with a primary spot in their weekly schedule.

If you are going to make disciples that make disciples, you must make it a priority in your life. That’s what Jesus did. During Jesus’ ministry he prioritized investing in a few. Around halfway into his public ministry, Jesus spent four times as much time with a few as he did with the crowd.[3] While the masses constantly demanded his time, he intentionally and purposefully invested his life in a few who would multiply. You may think, “How can I do that? I’m already so busy!” Let me give you a few suggestions.

1. Take an inventory of your schedule.

The man who discipled me, shared two key words with me that have helped me assess my schedule. He said, “Craig, you must eliminate the things that are not very important so you can concentrate on what’s most important.” The key words were “eliminate” and “concentrate”. Take a look at your schedule. How much of your time goes into things that are not important and don’t matter for eternity? What things could be eliminated from your life? How could you concentrate your time and be more productive?

2. Repurpose the time you already have.

Many people will say, “I’m just too busy to make disciples!” Usually I will ask, “Did you eat today?” “Yes,” the person will respond. “How many times did you eat?” “Three times” they will say. “You ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner?” I ask. “Yes, that’s right.” Then, I’ll say, “If you eat three times a day, then you have at least three opportunities in every day to make disciples.” What if you took just one mealtime a week—one meal out of twenty-one mealtimes—and gave it to the Lord for the purpose of sharing a meal and making disciples? As you begin to look at the time you already use, you will be surprised to find there are many ways to repurpose your time for making disciples.

3. Make an appointment.

Usually we make appointments for the things that really matter. If you are sick, you will make an appointment with a doctor. If you need legal help you will make an appointment with a lawyer. What matters most gets put on your calendar as an appointment. Why not make an appointment with your group to make disciples. It is just as important as any other appoint you have on the books, if not more important.

When I begin a group I will set an appointment for that group meeting. It may be early in the morning before typical work hours. When I schedule a meeting like that, I make it my first appointment for that day. It gets scheduled for each week on my calendar. Other groups may meet early on Saturdays. That, too, becomes an appointment I set for as long as the group exists, if possible. Carve out time to make disciples by making appointments and keeping them.

4. Be flexible and creative.

Many times the people are you are discipling have changing and flexible schedules. So don’t be afraid to be fluid, flexible, and creative. One time I was discipling a pilot whose scheduled changed every week according to his flights. We had to change our meeting time every week but remained faithful. Another time I discipled a professional golfer who was out of town extensively during golf season. We met as a group and had him conference call into our meeting every week. Technology allows us to communicate in creative ways. Don’t let the inability of a regular meeting keep you from investing in someone’s life.

Ultimately, making disciples is a matter of the heart. Jesus said, “Where you treasure is, there you heart will be also” (Matthew 6:21, NIV). He was saying our time, talent, and treasure will always follow what has our heart. We always find time and money and energy for the things we love the most. So make following Jesus and investing in others people the heartbeat of your life and when you do, you will find the time necessary to accomplish it.

Written by Craig Etheredge

[3] Dann Spader, in his lecture on the life of Christ, indicates that according to his research in the gospels, Jesus is mentioned spending time with the crowd 17 times, but with “the few” 46 times, Disciplemaking from the Life of Christ (Chicago: Sonlife Classic, 2009) 8.

A gifted communicator, author, and Bible teacher and the Lead Pastor at First Colleyville, a thriving church in the Dallas/Fort Worth area, Craig Etheredge is the host of Morning Thrive, a radio program that covers central Texas. He is Founder and President of discipleFIRST ministries and a regular speaker at the FlashPoint Conference across the United States. Craig is also Adjunct Professor of Discipleship at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, Texas and is actively involved in his local community serving on various boards.

Photo by Jeremy Thomas on Unsplash

Source: Make Time for What Matters Most—Following Jesus

The post Make Time for What Matters Most—Following Jesus appeared first on Passion for Planting.

Source: 5 Steps for Leading Yourself as a Church Planter

The post 5 Steps for Leading Yourself as a Church Planter appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Frank Bealer: 

I have several friends from Canada and whenever we get together I’ve noticed they tend to apologize for everything.

They say sorry even when the fault is clearly not their own. It’s unnecessary if you ask me, but it could explain why our neighbors to the north have a much lower crime rate than we do here in the US.

They say “I’m sorry,” and everyone else feels a release of tension and pressure.

There’s a sense that someone’s taken ownership of the mistake and those two little words make everyone feel better. And that’s a good thing…isn’t it?

If it’s such a good thing, you may think I would suggest we apologize more. While I do feel our society would experience a greater sense of peace if we could learn to own up to our mistakes, wouldn’t it be better to simply avoid pitfalls and missteps altogether, especially as it relates to our family, friends, and loved ones?

What if we could say sorry less because we succeed more?

What if leaders could say sorry less because we succeed more? @fbealerClick To Tweet

How Does Sorry Happen?

I couldn’t begin to tackle the multitude of bad decisions you and I have made over the years that left a stain on our reputation.

However, I do believe there is a formula that can help us manage our busy schedules in a way that prioritizes the relationships that matter most.

Too often in ministry we have to apologize to family, friends, and co-workers because we fail to control our schedule. Instead, we allow our calendar to dictate our priorities.

When we lose control over our time, those closest to us suffer. In order for that to change, we must first dissect our schedule.

When we lose control over our time, those closest to us suffer. @fbealerClick To Tweet

So how does sorry happen? Well, everything on our calendar falls into one of the following three categories:

Routine—commonplace tasks, chores, or responsibilities that must be completed regularly or at specified intervals; typical or everyday activity
Sporadic—appearing or happening at irregular intervals in time
Unexpected—not expected; unforeseen; surprising

There are plenty of blog posts, books, and apps that can help with the routine.

The unexpected is…well, unexpected. There is little we can do to plan for genuine surprises.

However, I’ve found much can be done in preparation for the sporadic.

Oftentimes we treat the sporadic as if it’s unexpected, the occasional as though it’s a complete shocker. We put the longer-than-expected staff meeting in the same category as the lighting strike that took out the city’s cell phone towers. We are caught unaware every time these irregular instances occur.

What If You Had a Plan?

I believe we can plan for these times. We can prepare those closest to us for these occurrences by adjusting our mindset and embracing a tried-and-true strategy.

What if you could stop saying sorry and start saying, “I’ve got a plan”?

What if you could stop saying sorry and start saying, “I’ve got a plan”? @fbealerClick To Tweet

That plan is actually a formula we call When This, Then That. This formula can challenge each of us to consider how to handle the sporadic before the sporadic handles us.

The key to this formula is found in “This” and “That”. When This (the sporadic event), Then That (our planned response to the sporadic).

There’s a lot that goes into creating formulas like this that will help us succeed but shifting the way we think about the sporadic changes everything.

So What Does This Actually Look Like?

So what does this look like, in real life?

Well, exceptions can become incredible opportunities.

Over the years, I had the incredible privilege of interviewing people looking to join the staff at Elevation Church. This required my wife and I to go to dinner with prospective couples. Great for the interview process, but it was challenging to tie up another night away from the kids. We knew that getting out of the office environment to a nice restaurant was the best way to hear what people were thinking and to answer any questions that they may have.

Some seasons involved more interviews than others, but about two years ago it started to get crazy. The church was growing radically and there were so many candidates to meet. This required flexibility and therefore led to a multitude of unplanned exceptions.

I found that when I would call home to tell my kids that I wouldn’t be home because I had an interview, it would be met with massive disappointment but then a sweet little smile saying, “We love you Daddy. It’s okay. I was just really hoping we could play a board game tonight.” My heart would break.

We needed a plan. This is where “When This Then That” comes into play.

The interviews weren’t going to stop. And my kids weren’t going anywhere.

So, we made a shift. When I had an opportunity to do another interview for the church, I would call home to say we have an interview (same as before), but instead of this meaning Mom and Dad wouldn’t be home, it meant an adventure for the kids. We created a new When This Then That solution. WHEN we have an interview, THEN the kids get to eat at the restaurant (at a separate table) with an appetizer and dessert.

“If you have kids, you know this is a really big deal. I don’t know about you but when we take our family to a restaurant, we try to be extremely efficient. We get in. We get out. Before the chaos ensues. We don’t order appetizers. We order our drinks and meal at the exact same time and we rarely order dessert. After all, how can we ask our kids to behave when we give them tons of sugar and then keep them trapped in a booth?

Can you imagine the change this made for our family? Instead of sadness, our phone calls were met with jubilee.

You can see how we were able to turn something that used to be a negative, another ‘I’m sorry’ into something that our whole family gets excited about. In fact, sometimes my kids ask when the next interview is so they can dine out “fancy” again.”

It’s a simple change, but it’s a profound change.

What if you changed everything so exceptions became opportunities?

What if you saw every schedule-crunching exception as an opportunity? @fbealerClick To Tweet

WANT MORE?

For more on thriving in the tension of ministry, work, and life (and a simple approach to gaining more control over your calendar), check out Frank’s new book, The Myth of Balance. It will help you craft your own formulas and figure out how to quit saying sorry. Just visit MythofBalance.com.

In the meantime, what puts you into a time crunch? What are you doing about?

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The post How to Stop Saying I’m Sorry To Your Family appeared first on Carey Nieuwhof.

Source: How to Stop Saying I’m Sorry To Your Family

The post How to Stop Saying I’m Sorry To Your Family appeared first on Passion for Planting.