By: Carey Nieuwhof

This post is written by Dillon Smith, a Gen Z team member of mine.

There’s no doubt that Gen Z has some different habits than previous generations.

Thanks to the internet and smartphones, the environment that we’ve grown up in is completely unique, and unlike any generation before.

We spend more time online, go outside less, and care about wildly different things than our parents did when they were kids.

You might look at these habits and think that these habits are “just a phase” or that we’ll “grow out of it.”

We won’t.

I’m 22, and I still watch A TON of YouTube. Even post-graduation, my classmates still spend a ton of time on Instagram and TikTok. None of us plan on making any of these a smaller part of our lives.

So for the church: How do you become a bigger part of our lives online?

Well, first, I think you need to be aware of how and why we behave and think the way we do.

I’m seeing 7 habits of Generation Z that your church might be ignoring. Here’s the list:

1. I watch who I want, when I want

The internet has given me the freedom to watch exactly who I want, when I want.

So, the only reason my friends or I are watching your church online is either because our parents are making us, or because we deeply care about what you have to say.

There are just too many other appealing ways to pass the time for us to waste our time on something that isn’t helpful or fun to watch.

So what does this mean for teaching pastors and service programming directors?

10 seconds of boring is enough to lose a Gen Z viewer.

Every second of online content you produce needs to add value in an efficient and engaging way.

10 seconds of boring is enough to lose a Gen Z viewer. Every second of online content you produce needs to add value in an efficient and engaging way. @Dillon_M_Smith

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2. If you want me to follow you for a long time, I need to get to know you

Our spirituality is one of the most sacred and private things we have, and if you want Gen Z to trust you with our time and subscription, we need to trust you.

And, a weekly sermon just doesn’t cut it for us.

In this digital era, churches should be producing more personal content online, not less.

There are tons of Twitch streamers and YouTubers who are doing this well. As church leaders, it’s about time that we start learning from them.

The single best YouTuber I’ve found at building a feeling of community and trust is a guy named Matt Carriker. Matt (who happens to be a Christian) has built three massively successful YouTube channels that have a combined total of 15.26 million subscribers.

His OffTheRanch channel is a personal vlog, and his fastest-growing channel that allows his viewers to see into his family, his hobbies, his character flaws, his ideas, and his work. By taking us into his real life, it builds more trust and community within his audience.

I think churches could do something similar.

Lead pastors could take the vlog camera home and show some of how they parent, or the staff could bring the vlog to worship practice or community service projects to show how the church is run throughout the week.

It’s just an idea, but ideas like this are going to reach my generation.

If you want more on how to create videos that people love to watch and engage with, Sean Cannell’s Video Influencers would be another great channel to check out. Here’s Sean’s recent interview on Carey’s podcast.

In this digital era, pastors should be producing more personal content online, not less. @Dillon_M_Smith

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3. I’ve been trained to view myself as a brand

Thanks to platforms like Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok, I’ve grown up viewing myself as my own brand.

I don’t think this mindset is healthy, but I do think it’s accurate. And as the church, we’re called to reach people where they actually are, not where we would hope they’d be.

If you want to reach a “me-centered” generation, show us what’s in it for us.

One biblical angle to take with this is to change your church’s focus from the Sunday experience to what the church is doing throughout the week. Show us how we can join your movement and not just build your platform.

This might be a bit closer to how the church was designed to function anyways. ?

If you want to reach a “me-centered” generation, show us what’s in it for us. @Dillon_M_Smith

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4. Gen Z would prefer to avoid our parent’s generation on social media

When I look back at my time in school, new social media apps like Vine, YikYak, Kik, and TikTok would come up in popularity in phases.

The life cycle of a new app would look like this:

A new app would release
It would become popular because our parents had no idea about it yet
Our parents would find out about it and create an account or have the school block it
We would all abandon it for the next app
Repeat

I think this is part of why TikTok exploded like it did, and why many of the young people I know are spending less time on Facebook and Instagram and more time on TikTok. It’s still cool to avoid our parent’s generation online.

So, for you and your church, I’ve got a few strategies to think about:

Even as new apps become popular, I still follow Craig Groeschel on Instagram and YouTube. I follow him because I trust him, and I’ll still watch him on those platforms because I know he’ll be there. If you’re a senior pastor, stick to where your people know you are, and double down.
For taking new ground on new apps (like TikTok), let a young staff member or young volunteer take the lead. Let the student ministry put effort towards experimental apps, and as the average age of an app’s users increases, begin to add adult-focused content.
No matter how old you are, don’t try to be someone you aren’t. If I see John Piper dancing on TikTok tomorrow, I’m going to be more concerned and less likely to follow him. No matter the platform, being authentically you is the best way forward.

No matter the platform, being authentically you is the best way forward. @Dillon_M_Smith

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5. Diversity isn’t optional

A couple of years ago, Greg Atkinson told me that if you want to reach the next generation, having a diverse church isn’t optional. He’s right.

Our schools are diverse, our workplaces are diverse, and our friend groups are diverse. If your church isn’t at least as diverse as the school we grew up in, we will question you as an organization.

As Derwin Gray and Darryn Scheske pointed out on a recent ChurchPulse Weekly podcast episode:

“Young adults aren’t leaving the church, they’re leaving the white church.”

If you want more on leading a diverse church, this interview is a great place to start.

If your church isn’t at least as diverse as the school Gen Z grew up in, we’ll question you as an organization. @Dillon_M_Smith

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6. My mental health issues aren’t going away

One of the biggest issues facing the next generation is a sharp decline in mental health.

Here’s the strange part: We’re fully aware of the mental health crisis, and what’s causing it, but our phones are too good to give up.

The rewards of the internet outweigh the risks for us.

So, how can you help?

Sadly, a sermon series once a year isn’t enough to reach a generation plagued with anxiety. The church needs a better solution.

Maybe it’s opening a counseling wing attached to your church. Maybe it’s making mental health a regular focus of your young adult ministry or small group or something else entirely. Whatever it is, this is a felt need that we have year-round that the church can’t ignore.

A sermon series once a year isn’t enough to reach a generation plagued with anxiety. The church needs a better solution. @Dillon_M_Smith

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7. When I talk to my non-Christian friends about church, I usually need to lead with an apology

During my first couple of years of bible college, I was a server and bartender at a restaurant in downtown Omaha.

All but two of my coworkers were 16 to 30-year-olds who were either atheist or agnostic, and almost all of them had stories about how the church had hurt them or their families.

So, if I wanted to have any form of evangelistic/spiritual conversation with them, I had to first apologize (for something I had nothing to do with) and convince them that not every Christian is judgmental or abusive.

This is true for most of the people my age.

If the church wants to reach the next generation, justified or not, you’ll need to apologize to most of the next generation first.

I wish this weren’t true. And I wish it were just an isolated thing, but it’s not.

As evidence that this wasn’t just my experience, I posted a tweet last week in a moment of stress that I would not be so quick to post again. The tweet said;

“As a 22-year old Christian, too often it feels like I’m a Christian in spite of the Church rather than because of the church.”

Again, if I could go back in time I don’t think I’d tweet this again, but one thing that shocked me was the response I saw.

It was by far the most liked and retweeted tweet I’ve ever shared.

And you know who did nearly all of the liking and retweeting?

Gen Z Christians.

They responded with things like

“Oof, I feel this.”
“This is sadly true.”
“Same.”
“I would share if I didn’t think it would create a storm I’m not prepared to tackle.”

This massive response tells me that the emotion I was feeling when I originally posted the tweet is hitting a chord with the rest of my generation. It’s telling me that the tweet might be more right than I know.

As the Church, we need to get ahead of this.

We need to follow Jeff Henderson’s advice and make sure our communities know what we’re FOR rather than what we’re against, and we need to apologize to those we’ve hurt, even if it wasn’t us who did it.

If we don’t do this, more and more irrelevance and hate await the bride of Christ.

If the church wants to reach the next generation, justified or not, you’ll need to apologize to most of the next generation first. @Dillon_M_Smith

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If You Don’t Have A Healthy Culture, You Won’t Reach Us Either…

Want to improve your team culture?

Better team culture gets fueled by better value statements.

But how to do create them can be so complicated.

How:

Do you know which values to choose?
Do you avoid creating value statements people roll their eyes at or think are so obvious they mean nothing?
Can you be sure the values are accurate but still stretch you?

I spent years reading books and studying how to create value statements until I had a breakthrough on how to create cultural value statements that were both accurate and aspirational, and that the entire team embraced.

I’ve broken that process down into three simple steps that can get you improving your organization’s culture and values today.

You can get free instant access to The 3 Step Guide to Developing Better Value Statements here.

Is there more? 

Did I miss anything? Are there other habits of Gen-Z that we’re missing? Did you find this article helpful?

Leave a comment below and let us know.

The post 7 Habits of Generation Z That Your Church Might Be Ignoring appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: 7 Habits of Generation Z That Your Church Might Be Ignoring

The post 7 Habits of Generation Z That Your Church Might Be Ignoring appeared first on Passion for Planting.

By Kandi Gallaty: I will never forget that night at the mall. My husband, Robby, and I had just finished dinner and were headed shopping to look for jeans. He came out of the dressing room and said he wasn’t feeling well. He was light-headed, pale, and didn’t feel right. I encouraged him to sit down and drink a Coke®, thinking it might have been his blood sugar. After a few minutes, he felt better, so we left and went home. Little did we know, this was the start of a long and painful journey with anxiety.

After that night, Robby began to experience these episodes often. We didn’t understand what was going on. He visited multiple doctors to determine the reason for his problems. His symptoms were always the same: he felt like he was going to pass out and needed to get out of the room or building we were in, even when he was in the middle of preaching on Sunday mornings. Naturally, he wanted to stay home more and not leave the house. Since I was unaware of what was happening, I would encourage him to get out of the house; I was afraid of him becoming a recluse.

As the episodes got worse, our doctor suggested Robby wear a holter monitor for forty-eight hours. This led to the discovery of his heart rate occasionally dropping to eighteen beats per minute. The doctor was afraid one of the leads had come out of his monitor. Unfortunately, a faulty lead wasn’t the issue, and the following day, he was admitted to the hospital to receive a pacemaker. He was thirty-five years old. We hoped all of his problems were solved.

However, after he came home from the hospital, the episodes still occurred. After much researching and seeing different specialists, we determined his problem was anxiety resulting from stress and burnout.

Robby was finishing his dissertation, traveling to preach, raising two little boys, getting acclimated to a new city and church, graduating with his PhD program, and writing multiple books over a few years. No wonder he was experiencing anxiety. The poor man was an Energizer Bunny® for years, and now when life was supposed to slow down and resemble some normalcy, he bottomed out.

This blog is from our partner Replicate. Sign up here to get updates sent to your inbox about ministries like theirs so you can grow as a disciple maker.

The immediate solution was medicine, which was a lifesaver. Here is the fact of the matter. You can read your Bible every day. You can foster a vibrant prayer life. You can lead a booming ministry and growing church. You can be plugged in to your community, doing all the “right” things, and still experience anxiety. Often it is our body telling us something is not right.

Our job is to listen and address it, not ignore or neglect it.

There are times when our health is taken entirely out of our hands, and we can’t do anything about it. But other times, we can be proactive. It may require medicine, counseling, and making changes to our lives to be as healthy as we can be.

If you have never experienced recurrent anxiety, it can be hard to relate to someone who is going through it. In my mind, he could just push through it. He could just overcome it. But that isn’t often the case. The irony is that after years of helping Robby adjust to his own battle with anxiety, I had my own struggle with it.

I can honestly say it was one of the worst seasons of my life. I was able to identify it early on after walking with Robby through his struggles. I could totally relate and understand what had happened to him.

The best way I could help both of us was to help us both establish a slowed-down spirituality. We drastically trimmed his schedule for a bit, stripping away everything that wasn’t a priority. We implemented weekly sabbaticals and daily resets. We ensured we truly took a rest day.

A question we ask often is, “At the end of the day, what is the Lord holding me accountable to?” Asking yourself this question may help you—or your spouse—dull the ache anxiety leaves in your life, mind, and body.

Be intentional about making time to check in.

When you start to feel better, it can be easy to forget and fall back into some old patterns of doing too much, being too busy, and taking on too much. It’s an ongoing task to monitor and keep these things in check and balance, but Robby and I work together to manage our schedules. We have a team that helps decide outside events or functions that we are asked to participate in. The kicker is we don’t get to vote on our own events. For example, if a request comes in for Robby to speak at an event, it gets sent to a team of six people (I am one of them). We all vote yes or no, and he doesn’t get to vote until it passes through the other team members. The decision is based on certain criteria: events already on the calendar, location, the length and size of the event, and the distance to travel.

We already have a completely full schedule with pastoral duties and parenting responsibilities without adding anything from the outside, so we must be good stewards of our time. Robby tries to be intentional to Sabbath once a week. He takes a break from his phone and technology, which would typically consume his time. He attempts to work from rest and not work for rest. If there is an emergency, his staff knows how to get ahold of me. I told Robby for years to put the phone down, but it never worked. As soon as the Lord spoke to him, he obeyed. I should have just committed it to prayer long ago.

The greatest thing to do as a spouse of someone who experiences anxiety is to support and work to figure out what needs to be done to live a healthy life. Spiritual, physical, emotional, and mental health all blend together. Time with the Lord should not be neglected but should be held to the highest priority. Diet and exercise, as well as getting enough sleep at night, are all extremely important. Counseling or coaching is sometimes necessary to experience well-being.

My challenge for you is to pursue support if you’re presently struggling. Do not neglect getting help for you or your spouse if you need it. I would venture to say we all want longevity in life and in ministry, so let us be good stewards of that which the Lord has given us. Soul-care is never selfish, but always strategic. If we neglect this, everyone in our life suffers. However, if we prioritize our ministry to ourselves, everyone in our lives will benefit.

By Kandi Gallaty

Originally posted on Replicate’s blog here. Used by permission.

The post How to Support Your Spouse Experiencing Anxiety appeared first on Discipleship.org.

Source: How to Support Your Spouse Experiencing Anxiety

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Source: Staying Positive During Quarantine

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Source: When Depression is Demonic

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by Carey Nieuwhof: You’re probably feeling a little tired.

And if that’s the case, you’re not alone. Exhaustion, anxiety and stress seems to be a growing problem in leadership.

Recently, a planned sabbatical made headlines when mega-church pastor Howard-John Wesley stood before 4500 worshippers in early December and told them he was tired and taking a Sabbatical.

“I am tired in my soul,” Wesley said, among many other things he shared.

There was no scandal, no moral failure…just fatigue—a soul-weariness that most of us who have led for more than a few minutes know all too well. (The full message is a great listen for any leader struggling with fatigue…and the message is better than the articles that summarize it. Howard-John is nuanced, thoughtful and very real. Listen here.)

What encouraged me so much about Wesley was his decision to take a break before something bad happened—or at least something worse than the fatigue and frustration he confessed to. As he said in the message, he’s not burned out. He’s coming back. But he’s tired.

When you peel behind the headlines of mega-church pastor failures, business leaders who get fired, the resignations of politicians and even implosion of athletes, one common theme is that many of them were tired…dead tired. (I offer some thoughts on why mega-church pastors keep failing in this post.)

Run on empty for long, and it’s almost inevitable that you end up doing something you (and many others) will regret for a long time.

So—now the big question— why is leadership so exhausting?

Here are 5 reasons I’ve seen in my own leadership and life.

1. Your Ratio of Output to Input Is Skewed

One of the chief roles of leadership is to produce. Think about it.

As a leader, you’re responsible for:

results

content

the team

wins

changed lives

progress

widgets

financials

And that’s just a partial list.

All of which means your job as a leader is to create outputs.

But like a bank account, outputs have to be at least matched, if not exceeded, by inputs. Otherwise, you go bankrupt.

If you were to look at your life right now, what’s your ratio of output to input? My guests for most leaders it’s running 5:1. Or maybe 10:1.

That’s a problem.

Inputs for leaders include rest, learning, growth, life-giving relationships, spiritual development, healthy eating, exercise, training, outside ideas, hobbies and…(remember this?)…fun.

If your output consistently exceeds your input as a leader, you’re on the road to bankruptcy.

If your output consistently exceeds your input as a leader, you’re on the road to bankruptcy. Click To Tweet

2. You’re Never Really Off

Technology has changed so much in the last decade.

Because of the pressures of leadership, leaders have always had a hard time being ‘off’. There’s always more to be done.

But smartphones and the proliferation of inboxes on every single social platform, and ‘advances’ like Slack, email, text messaging and plain old voicemail means a leader is never really off.

You used to go to work, now, thanks to technology, work goes to you…and never leaves you.

It might be easy to think you’re just taking 5 minutes out of your family’s Disney+ movie night, but every interaction takes its toll.

I have friends in medicine who are on call all the time. They tell me they never sleep the same knowing they could be called. Even if they happen to make it through the night without a call, they still don’t wake up as rested.

These days, that’s pretty much all of us.

You used to go to work, now, thanks to technology, work goes to you…and never leaves you.Click To Tweet

3. And You’re Never Really On

In the same way work follows you everywhere you go via your pocket or purse, your life now follows you to work.

Not only are you tired from not enough sleep, and stressed from working a bit the night before, but now your whole life is accessible at work. You can book dinner reservations, text your family, check your personal social media accounts and so much more.

As a result, it’s harder to focus at work and stay productive.

You’re never really on, and you’re never really off. You just live in a perpetual grey zone.

Because of technology, you’re never really on, and you’re never really off. You just live in a perpetual grey zone. Click To Tweet

4. There’s No Finish Line

Even if you’re never really on and never really off, there’s an even bigger question: when are you done leading?

Correct. Never.

The blessing and curse of leadership is that there’s always more: more people to serve, people to reach or clients to acquire.

And then there’s better.

One of the things that drives most leaders is the desire to improve. Which is awesome, and often very needed.

But eventually, excellent brings diminishing returns. If your work amounts to, say, an 8.5 out of 10, for example, making it a 9.5 might take you hours, or days, or even thousands (or hundreds of thousands of dollars). And for what?

When something that might requires double the effort or dollars only produces 10% more, you have to question the return on investment. Especially when, in all likelihood, 10% more effort in another area might produce 30% greater results.

Unaware of the diminishing returns, most leaders keep pushing for no real reason.

And here’s the sobering reality: if you don’t declare a finish line, your body will.

If you don’t declare a finish line, your body will. Click To Tweet

5. Rest looks like weakness 

For a lot of us in leadership, rest either looks like weakness or unfaithfulness.

It’s actually just the opposite.

Elite athletes know that recovery is key to performance. Without sleep, nutrition and rest, your body just can’t perform at top levels.

Neither can you.

I still find it hard to be still, because rest looks like unproductive time to me. And deep down, I fear underneath that is laziness.

Most driven, tired leaders I know are anything but lazy. Laziness is resting when you’re not tired. Resting when you’re tired and building in recovery days and even seasons can be the difference between you leading for years or leading well for decades.

Rest isn’t weakness. A rested you is a better you and a sharper you.

Rest isn’t weakness. A rested you is a better you and a sharper you. Click To Tweet

Two Ways To Beat the Fatigue

Beyond the obvious “get some rest”, what can you do to defeat your fatigue? I’m literally writing a book on this right now, but here are two ideas that can help right now.

First, monitor your ratio of output to input. If you’re consistently putting out more than you’re taking in (as covered in Point 1), then adjust the ratio.

Reduce output voluntarily before exhaustion and burnout reduces your output involuntarily.

Second, be radically proactive about self-care. 

A decade ago, John Piper (a pastor of a large church with a global ministry) took a pro-active leave , and was exceptionally candid about some of the problems that were surfacing him that he wanted to address and work on.

In Piper’s case, there was no presenting ‘crisis’, but he felt one brewing.

In Piper’s own words:

I asked the elders to consider this leave because of a growing sense that my soul, my marriage, my family, and my ministry-pattern need a reality check from the Holy Spirit. On the one hand, I love my Lord, my wife, my five children and their families first and foremost; and I love my work of preaching and writing and leading Bethlehem. I hope the Lord gives me at least five more years as the pastor for preaching and vision at Bethlehem.

But on the other hand, I see several species of pride in my soul that, while they may not rise to the level of disqualifying me for ministry, grieve me, and have taken a toll on my relationship with Noël and others who are dear to me. How do I apologize to you, not for a specific deed, but for ongoing character flaws, and their effects on everybody? I’ll say it now, and no doubt will say it again, I’m sorry. Since I don’t have just one deed to point to, I simply ask for a spirit of forgiveness; and I give you as much assurance as I can that I am not making peace, but war, with my own sins.

Wise. Wise, wise, wise. Very wise.

If you start getting healthy before there’s a crisis, you’ll have fewer crises.

If you start getting healthy before there’s a crisis, you’ll have fewer crises. Click To Tweet

READY TO GET HEALTHIER?

Exhausted thinking about how much work is ahead of you?

Good news. A small investment will pay huge dividends in getting you healthier and freeing up time to make your organization healthier.

I’d love to help you do that.

I’ve helped over 3000 leaders free up hundreds of hours each year and often 3 hours a day to do what they feel they never have time for and get healthier in the process.

My High Impact Leader course, is my online, on-demand course designed to help you get time, energy and priorities working in your favour.

It’s perfect for leaders who feel like they never have enough time in the day to get the really important things done.

Many leaders who have taken it are recovering 3 productive hours a day.  That’s about 1000 hours of found time each year. That’s a lot of time for what matters most.

Here are what some alumni are saying about The High Impact Leader Course”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you for providing the course again. It has absolutely made an impact in my life and family already that I can’t even describe.” – Joel Rowland, Clayton County, North Carolina

“Just wow.  Thank you, thank you.” Dave Campbell,  Sioux Falls South Dakota

“A game-changer.” Pam Perkins,  Colorado Springs, Colorado

Curious? Want to beat overwhelm and have the time to reflect, rest and reinvent yourself?

Click here to learn more or get instant access.

What Are You Sensing?

So, what do you think contributes to the exhaustion so many leaders feel?

And how are you learning to prevent it?

Scroll down and leave a comment!

The post Why Leadership Is So Exhausting—And What to Do About It appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: Why Leadership Is So Exhausting—And What to Do About It

The post Why Leadership Is So Exhausting—And What to Do About It appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Carey Nieuwhof: Few people have impacted Carey’s personal journey as much as Terry Wardle. That’s why it’s such a thrill to bring podcast listeners this interview.

Terry talks about why so many leaders cave under the pressure of leadership, what’s underneath the moral failure so many leaders experienced, and how to grieve the losses that come your way in leadership and ministry.

Welcome to Episode 309 of the podcast. Listen and access the show notes below or search for the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and listen for free.

Guest Links

Facebook | Website | Healing Care | Some Kind of Crazy

Episode Links

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They’re offering podcast listeners a free trial when you visit
RightNowMedia.org/Carey.

Conversation Links

A Failure of Nerve by Edwin H. Friedman

Some Kind of Crazy by Terry Wardle

Hillbilly Elegy by J. D. Vance

Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott

The End of Memory by Miroslav Volf

Jesus and the Disinherited by Howard Thurman

Slingstones Podcast by Terry Wardle

Healing Care Mandate International

The High Impact Leader

3 Insights from Terry

1. Dysfunctional behavior is usually the symptom of a deeper problem

Terry is convinced that aberrant behavior is driven by deep wounds and false beliefs and ungrieved loss. When he looks back on his life, his depression, workaholism, and agoraphobia was never the problem, it was the symptom of a deeper problem of ungrieved losses from his past.

Eventually, Terry was able to work through the deeper issues of his past, and has since begun leading others through a similar healing journey. He works with people who have addictions, anger issues, deep depression, and many other struggles so that they can begin to attack the real wounds that are impacting them.

2. Ministry is a series of ungrieved losses

“Every loss in life demands an appropriate season of grieving, whether you’ve lost your favorite person or your favorite end.” Now, when Terry walks into a room of pastors, he can feel the ungrieved loss in that room. This breaks his heart and causes him to want to help more people.

When Terry first taught this in a seminar, someone grabbed him and said, “Say that quote again. Just say it again.” And he did. When he repeated the statement, the person started to cry because they realized when you experience a loss and just move on, rationalize it, or get onto the business of work, you cheat the grieving process.

3. It takes an emotional laden positive experience to overcome an emotional laden negative experience

Through his time of personal healing and counseling other leaders, Terry has learned that knowing scripture isn’t enough to get over the deep wounds and fears of our past. Terry has learned that it takes an emotional laden positive experience to overcome an emotional laden negative experience.

Just knowing the scripture, “Perfect love casts out fear,” does not cast out fear. It takes a very real experience with perfect love himself to cast out fear. This is what Terry encourages people to seek.

Quotes from Episode 309

Many people and leaders are not stable in their identity, and as a result, they use performance and achievement as a way of advancing themselves. – Terry WardleClick To Tweet

Workaholism in ministry is not a matter of theology, it’s a matter of pathology. And until we deal with that pathology, we’re not going to be the men and women that we are supposed to be. – Terry WardleClick To Tweet

There’s nothing that beats a person down more than trying to measure up. – Terry WardleClick To Tweet

While my gifting and anointing were such that there was advancement in my ministry, I was actually just crushed inside by not dealing with the brokenness of my past. – Terry WardleClick To Tweet

When you are basing your ministry on performance, your last performance isn’t good enough. It has to be the next performance. – Terry WardleClick To Tweet

People want to kill the pain of loss. – Terry WardleClick To Tweet

I am convinced that aberrant behavior is driven by deep wounds and false beliefs and ungrieved loss. – Terry WardleClick To Tweet

Loss is meant to be grieved. And when we fail to grieve losses, that loss internalizes. – Terry WardleClick To Tweet

If you have the fruit of dysfunction, you have the root of wounding. – Terry WardleClick To Tweet

Grieving loss begins with finding a safe environment with people that are non condemning, empathic, who are confidential and who finally give you the permission to say what’s inside and say it like it is. – Terry WardleClick To Tweet

Every wound in life, every loss in life, every false belief, needs confronted in the presence of Christ so we can be freed from those. – Terry WardleClick To Tweet

When Jesus was at his worst, God didn’t give him a scripture. He gave him an experience of his presence. – Terry WardleClick To Tweet

Change doesn’t happen because someone told you you need to change, change happens when you’re desperate enough to say, I must change. – Terry WardleClick To Tweet

I think many of us try to forgive before we grieve. – Terry WardleClick To Tweet

You got to grieve the losses that have come your way. And then if there’s someone to forgive after you’ve grieved it, you’ll have the strength to go ahead and forgive. – Terry WardleClick To Tweet

You’ll know when forgiveness is complete when the issue no longer comes to mind. – Miroslav VolfClick To Tweet

Read or Download the Transcript for Episode 309

Looking for a key quote? More of a reader?

Read or download a free PDF transcript of this episode here.

Watch Back Episodes of The Podcast on YouTube

Select episodes of this podcast are now on YouTube. Our new YouTube Channel gives you a chance to watch some episodes, not just listen. We’ll add select episodes to YouTube as time goes on.

Didn’t See It Coming Will Help You Solve the Problems Most Leaders Miss

If you want practical help overcoming some of the biggest challenges leaders face, my book Didn’t See It Coming: Overcoming the 7 Greatest Challenges That Nobody Expects and Everyone Experiences tackles the seven core issues that take people out: cynicism, compromise, disconnectedness, irrelevance, pride, burnout, and the emptiness of success and provides strategies on how to combat each.

I wrote the book because no 18 year old sets out to be cynical, jaded and disconnected by age 35. Yet it happens all the time.

The good news is, it doesn’t have to be that way.

Here’s what top leaders are saying about Didn’t See It Coming:

“Seriously, this may be the most important book you read this year.” Jud Wilhite, Lead Pastor, Central Church

“Powerful, personal, and highly readable. ” Brian Houston, Global Senior Pastor, Hillsong

“Whatever challenge you’re facing, whatever obstacle you’re hoping to overcome, whatever future you dream or imagine, there is something powerful for you here.” Andy Stanley, Founder, North Point Ministries

“Uncommonly perceptive and generous…You have to read this book.” Ann Voskamp, NYT bestselling author

“Masterful.” Reggie Joiner, CEO Orange

“Deep biblical insight, straightforward truth, and practical wisdom to help you grow.” Craig Groeschel, Pastor and NYT bestselling author

“This book is sure to help you.” Daniel H. Pink, NYT bestselling author

Over the years, one of the things I’ve enjoyed most about being a public speaker is having opportunities to hang out with Carey…It’s not a matter of if you’ll run into these challenges; it’s a matter of when. Be prepared by spending a little time with a leader who has already been there.” Jon Acuff, NYT best-selling author

“Nieuwhof’s book provides expert guidance…with an accuracy that pierces the heart.” Nancy Duarte, CEO Duarte Inc.

“A refreshingly transparent guide for all leaders in a wide variety of industries.” Bryan Miles, Co-Founder and CEO, BELAY

You can learn more and get your copy of Didn’t See It Coming here.

Subscribed Yet? 

Subscribe for free and never miss out on wisdom from world-class leaders like Brian Houston, Andy Stanley, Craig Groeschel, Nancy Duarte, Henry Cloud, Patrick Lencioni, Francis Chan, Ann Voskamp, Erwin McManus and many others.

Subscribe using your favorite podcast app via

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Google Play

Stitcher

TuneIn

Spread the Word. Leave a Rating and Review

Hopefully, this episode has helped you lead like never before. That’s my goal. If you appreciated it, could you share the love?

The best way to do that is to rate the podcast on Apple Podcasts and leave us a brief review! You can do the same on Stitcher and on TuneIn as well.

Your ratings and reviews help us place the podcast in front of new leaders and listeners. Your feedback also lets me know how I can better serve you.

Thank you for being so awesome.

Next Episode: Jasmine Star

Jasmine Star dropped out of law school, didn’t even own a camera, and within 4 years was one of top photographers in the world. These days as a strategist, entrepreneur and social media influencer, Jasmine talks about how to find and connect with your dream customer or audience, how focusing on who you want to reach drives growth, and how to protect your online message against the algorithm changes that happen all the time.

Subscribe for free now and you won’t miss Episode 310.

The post CNLP 309: Terry Wardle on Why So Many Leaders Cave Under the Pressures of Leadership, Why Leaders Implode Morally, and How to Grieve Your Leadership Losses appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: CNLP 309: Terry Wardle on Why So Many Leaders Cave Under the Pressures of Leadership, Why Leaders Implode Morally, and How to Grieve Your Leadership Losses

The post CNLP 309: Terry Wardle on Why So Many Leaders Cave Under the Pressures of Leadership, Why Leaders Implode Morally, and How to Grieve Your Leadership Losses appeared first on Passion for Planting.

Source: When the Godly Get Depressed

The post When the Godly Get Depressed appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Carey Nieuwhof: John Ortberg has a brand new podcast, What Were You Thinking? Today, we flip the mic, and John interviews Carey Nieuwhof about workaholism, how to be appropriately vulnerable about your story, and finding God when things get tough in life and leadership.

Welcome to Episode 307 of the podcast. Listen and access the show notes below or search for the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and listen for free.

Guest Links

Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | What Were You Thinking?

Episode Links

What if, in 40 days, you could grow your small groups in your church by 40%? Based on Pastor Zach Zehnder’s book, The Red Letter Challenge is a 40-day turnkey church campaign that centers around making more effective disciples of Jesus. Go to RedLetterChallenge.com/Carey to find church packages ready to go for you.

The High Impact Workplace

10 Million Podcast Downloads Giveaway

Managing Leadership Anxiety by Steve Cuss

Didn’t See It Coming by Carey Nieuwhof

The Genesee Diary by Henry Nouwen

3 Insights from John and Carey

1. Burnout is a factor for all driven people

Most leaders eventually hit a wall, whether it’s clinical burnout, their marriage falling apart, their relationship with their kids deteriorating, or realizing they simply need to delegate. Every driven leader gets there. When they hit this wall, they realize that a change needs to be made, but most have no clue what that change is.

Although it’s not the same for everyone, it is almost always tied to a lie that a leader believes. Carey has learned that he, as a leader, was believing that his performance defined his worth. This led to him trying to perform more and more until he hit his wall. Ever since, he has been intentional about living in a way today that will help him thrive tomorrow.

2. The senior leader sets the culture

Over many years of thinking and inspecting his own leadership, Carey has learned that unhealthy leaders create unhealthy cultures. He knows this because he used to be that unhealthy leader. Now, he has spent years changing how he views the purpose of work in his and his team’s lives.

He used to think that he uses people to get work done, and that led to an unhealthy culture. Now, he has realized that he is trying to use work to grow the people that work there. In a healthy culture, people are the goal, not the work.

3. The appropriate level of vulnerability to have from the stage is…

Carey has learned that the voice and position we communicate from makes a massive impact on whether the message is helpful or not. Many leaders naturally take a position where they are up on top of a mountain, and if you want access to them, you have to come sit at their feet. Carey has learned that this position doesn’t work. People admire your strengths but they resonate with your weaknesses.

So what voice does Carey use? He uses a voice that is “ in the field” with the reader. This voice is saying, “I know this is hard, I struggle too, but maybe making this change will help us.” When Carey uses this voice, he is much more engaged with his audience.

Quotes from Episode 307

Spiritual health is often a casualty of ministry and leadership. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

When you’re winning at church and losing at home, you’re losing. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

How do I live in a way today that will help me thrive tomorrow? @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

The office is something we used to go to, and now the office goes to us. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

By the time this race is over, I want the people closest to me to be the people who are most grateful for me. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

People are most tempted to quit moments before their critical breakthrough. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

The health of the organization is directly linked to the health of the senior leader. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

Unhealthy leaders create unhealthy cultures. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

Sometimes burnout is God’s will for your life because he wants to do a redirection. @johnortbergClick To Tweet

If God wants to go deep. It’s because he wants to take you far. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

You cannot over communicate. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

Read or Download the Transcript for Episode 307

Looking for a key quote? More of a reader?

Read or download a free PDF transcript of this episode here.

Watch Back Episodes of The Podcast on YouTube

Select episodes of this podcast are now on YouTube. Our new YouTube Channel gives you a chance to watch some episodes, not just listen. We’ll add select episodes to YouTube as time goes on.

INTRODUCING THE HIGH IMPACT WORKPLACE
(AND MY FREE COACHING GUIDE)

There’s a talent war going on for the best leaders, a generational divide at work, and, according to Gallup, 70% of all workers are disengaged at work (meaning that they show up and only do the bare minimum.)

Introducing The High Impact Workplace, a new online, on-demand course where I show you what’s changing in the workplace and how to respond. As a founder and senior leader myself, I’ll share a strategy that will help you engage even the best and most gifted young leaders at work.

In the course, I’ll give you the exact strategies you need to:

Attract and keep high capacity leaders who would otherwise start their own businesses.
Identify and leverage the currency that motivates young leaders.
Navigate flexible work arrangements that result in deeper productivity.
Master the 5 questions every great manager asks their team for deeper engagement.
Discover how to create workplace environments that multiple generations can thrive in.
Learn how to keep your company or organization relevant to the next generation of leaders.

The High Impact Workplace will give you the edge you need to create the best team you can moving forward in an age where 8-4 doesn’t work anymore (just ask any young leader about that).

Enrollment to the course is only open for a few days and only available now at this low price. So hurry!

To learn more or get access today to the High Impact Workplace, click here.

Subscribed Yet? 

Subscribe for free and never miss out on wisdom from world-class leaders like Brian Houston, Andy Stanley, Craig Groeschel, Nancy Duarte, Henry Cloud, Patrick Lencioni, Francis Chan, Ann Voskamp, Erwin McManus and many others.

Subscribe using your favorite podcast app via

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Google Play

Stitcher

TuneIn

Spread the Word. Leave a Rating and Review

Hopefully, this episode has helped you lead like never before. That’s my goal. If you appreciated it, could you share the love?

The best way to do that is to rate the podcast on Apple Podcasts and leave us a brief review! You can do the same on Stitcher and on TuneIn as well.

Your ratings and reviews help us place the podcast in front of new leaders and listeners. Your feedback also lets me know how I can better serve you.

Thank you for being so awesome.

Next Episode: Larry Osborne

Larry Osborne shares 4 decades of wisdom with leaders on everything from how to connect high capacity leaders, to what to do if you wanted to make a million dollars, to questions you should ask other leaders, to meeting dynamics on how to handle him. Carey spends almost the entire episode pitching some of his favorite Larry Osborne quotes back to Larry and having Larry expound on them. The results are fascinating.

Subscribe for free now and you won’t miss Episode 308.

The post CNLP 307: John Ortberg and Carey Nieuwhof on Workaholism, How to Be Appropriately Vulnerable, and Finding God When Things are Bad in Leadership appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: CNLP 307: John Ortberg and Carey Nieuwhof on Workaholism, How to Be Appropriately Vulnerable, and Finding God When Things are Bad in Leadership

The post CNLP 307: John Ortberg and Carey Nieuwhof on Workaholism, How to Be Appropriately Vulnerable, and Finding God When Things are Bad in Leadership appeared first on Passion for Planting.

Source: Reaching First Responders in Your Community

The post Reaching First Responders in Your Community appeared first on Passion for Planting.

by Carey Nieuwhof: Ian Morgan Cron interviews Carey for this episode of his top rated Typology podcast, but in the middle of the interview, Carey turned the tables got Ian to apply his Enneagram insights to Carey’s latest book, Didn’t See It Coming. What results is Ian doing a fascinating analysis on which Enneagram types might be more prone to cynicism, burnout, pride, moral compromise and more.

Welcome to Episode 278 of the podcast. Listen and access the show notes below or search for the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and listen for free.

Guest Links

Ian Morgan Cron | Typology | The Road Back to You

Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Episode Links

Communicate with your team in a way that really connects. Try HuddleUp free for 14 days at servehq.church.

Empower and equip your leaders with church management software from Church Community Builder. Podcast listeners receive 20% off now.

Typology: Seven Core Challenges of Leadership (Part 1)

Typology: Seven Core Challenges of Leadership (Part 2)

CNLP 241: Ian Morgan Cron on Using Your Enneagram Number to Boost Self-Awareness, Spiritual Growth and Reduce Conflict at Work and at Home

The School of Life

Self-Knowledge

Daniel Goleman

Good to Great by Jim Collins

Myth & Reality: General Stanley McChrystal – The Jordan B Peterson Podcast

10% Happier by Dan Harris

Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport

iEQ9 Enneagram Test

The High Impact Leader

3 Insights from Ian

1. One of the greatest predictors of success is emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence and self-awareness are a must-have skill for any leader to have significant long-term success. One of the greatest strengths of the Enneagram for leaders is that it helps you become more self-aware about your internal motives and weaknesses.

In Carey’s book, Didn’t See It Coming, Carey outlines 7 major challenges that no leader expects, but every leader experiences. The Enneagram can help you determine which of those major challenges are more likely to impact your life, and what the different warning signs and causes could be. It also gives you insight into what you are like when your personality is on autopilot, and you don’t necessarily see your failures coming. If you know your weaknesses, you can see your obstacles coming before it’s too late.

2.  Knowing your Enneagram can help you avoid moral compromise

Moral compromise can come at any of us. We all feel the pull to give up our integrity and character for something. Our Enneagram type can help us determine what that “something” is. Moral compromise is not just the big headline affairs that ruin people’s careers. It is more often a slow process where you daily give up a little bit of yourself.

For example, 3’s are tempted to give into moral compromise so that they can put up a better public facade. 3’s live for putting up the best image of themselves possible at any cost. Often, they will be tempted to cut corners to become that person people are impressed with. When they begin to cut corners in their life, they begin to compromise in places that they should not be compromising. 3’s can easily compartmentalize their public lives and their private lives as 2 separate things. When they do this, they have a perfect public persona and cut a lot of corners in their personal lives.

3. Smartphones are building a generation of anxious people

Technology has done a fantastic job of connecting the world together in a way that has never been seen before in history. For the first time ever, if there is a major tragedy in London, students and teachers in the US and China are learning about it at the same time. There is a lot of good that has come out of this change, but it’s not all positive.

For the first time in history, the UK has hired on a “Minister Of Loneliness.” People are reporting symptoms of loneliness and anxiety at record rates, and it is directly related to the exposure we have with technology. The generations that are being hit by this the most are the Gen Z and Millennial generations. The earlier they were exposed to smartphones, the higher levels of loneliness and anxiety were reported.

Quotes from Episode 278

You have no business leading others if you don’t know how to lead yourself first. @ianmorgancronClick To Tweet

It’s always the emotionally intelligent leaders that seem to do the best. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

The more I respect and understand my limits, the more I’m actually capable of. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

I think we have way more information than God ever created us to deal with. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet

Read or Download the Transcript for Episode 278

Looking for a key quote? More of a reader?

Read or download a free PDF transcript of this episode here.

Watch the Podcast on YouTube

Select episodes of this podcast are now on YouTube. Our new YouTube Channel gives you a chance to watch some episodes, not just listen. We’ll add select episodes to YouTube as time goes on.

Didn’t See It Coming Will Help You Solve the Problems Most Leaders Miss

If you want practical help overcoming some of the biggest challenges leaders face, my new book Didn’t See It Coming: Overcoming the 7 Greatest Challenges That Nobody Expects and Everyone Experiences tackles the seven core issues that take people out: cynicism, compromise, disconnectedness, irrelevance, pride, burnout, and the emptiness of success and provides strategies on how to combat each.

I wrote the book because no 18 year old sets out to be cynical, jaded and disconnected by age 35. Yet it happens all the time.

The good news is, it doesn’t have to be that way.

Here’s what top leaders are saying about Didn’t See It Coming:

“Seriously, this may be the most important book you read this year.” Jud Wilhite, Lead Pastor, Central Church

“Powerful, personal, and highly readable. ”Brian Houston, Global Senior Pastor, Hillsong

“Whatever challenge you’re facing, whatever obstacle you’re hoping to overcome, whatever future you dream or imagine, there is something powerful for you here.” Andy Stanley, Founder, North Point Ministries

“Uncommonly perceptive and generous…You have to read this book.” Ann Voskamp,NYT bestselling author

“Masterful.”Reggie Joiner,CEO Orange

“Deep biblical insight, straightforward truth, and practical wisdom to help you grow.” Craig Groeschel, Pastor and NYT bestselling author

“This book is sure to help you.” Daniel H. Pink, NYT bestselling author

Over the years, one of the things I’ve enjoyed most about being a public speaker is having opportunities to hang out with Carey…It’s not a matter of if you’ll run into these challenges; it’s a matter of when. Be prepared by spending a little time with a leader who has already been there.” Jon Acuff, NYT best-selling author

“Nieuwhof’s book provides expert guidance…with an accuracy that pierces the heart.” Nancy Duarte, CEO Duarte Inc.

“A refreshingly transparent guide for all leaders in a wide variety of industries.” Bryan Miles, Co-Founder and CEO, BELAY

You can learn more and get your copy of Didn’t See It Coming here.

Subscribed Yet? 

Subscribe for free and never miss out on wisdom from world-class leaders like Brian Houston, Andy Stanley, Craig Groeschel, Nancy Duarte, Henry Cloud, Patrick Lencioni, Francis Chan, Ann Voskamp, Erwin McManus and many others.

Subscribe using your favorite podcast app via

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Google Play

Stitcher

TuneIn

Spread the Word. Leave a Rating and Review

Hopefully, this episode has helped you lead like never before. That’s my goal. If you appreciated it, could you share the love?

The best way to do that is to rate the podcast on Apple Podcasts and leave us a brief review! You can do the same on Stitcher and on TuneIn as well.

Your ratings and reviews help us place the podcast in front of new leaders and listeners. Your feedback also lets me know how I can better serve you.

Thank you for being so awesome.

Next Episode: Brad Formsma

Brad Formsma ran a business for years, and then felt a calling to help other people become more generous. He founded I Like Giving which resulted in Brad connecting with hundreds of high net worth individuals, and his ability to offer the best and worst practices approaching high capacity givers. Brad shares how to get over the intimidation many leaders feel when dealing with wealthy people and offers some wonderful insights on how everyone can live a more generous life, some of which have nothing to do with money.

Subscribe for free now and you won’t miss Episode 279.

The post CNLP 278: Ian Morgan Cron on How Your Enneagram Profile Positions You for Burnout, Pride, Cynicism and Other Hidden Traps in Life and Leadership appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.

Source: CNLP 278: Ian Morgan Cron on How Your Enneagram Profile Positions You for Burnout, Pride, Cynicism and Other Hidden Traps in Life and Leadership

The post CNLP 278: Ian Morgan Cron on How Your Enneagram Profile Positions You for Burnout, Pride, Cynicism and Other Hidden Traps in Life and Leadership appeared first on Passion for Planting.