by Carey Nieuwhof: Anyone who has been married for a while knows it can be difficult, but marriage is often harder than most couples signed up for. Joel and Nina Schmidgall talk about the struggles they themselves and the couples they work with face, and how prayer can help more than you think. Adapting the framework of Mark Batterson’s New York Time’s Best-selling book, The Circle Maker, Joel and Nina talk about how praying circles around your marriage can change your marriage for the better.
Welcome to Episode 248 of the podcast. Listen and access the show notes below or search for the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and listen for free.
Guest Links
Joel on Twitter | Joel on Facebook | Nina on Twitter | Nina on Facebook
Praying Circles Around Your Marriage | @PrayingMarriage
Episode Links
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CNLP 165: Mark Batterson on How to Hear God’s Voice (And God’s Will for Your Life)
Episode 128: Mark Batterson on Chasing Down Your Dreams without Fear
The Circle Maker: Praying Circles Around Your Biggest Dreams and Greatest Fears by Mark Batterson
The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery by Ian Morgan Cron
3 Insights from Joel & Nina
1. Conflict in marriage is an opportunity for growth
Often couples try to avoid conflict at all costs, but those costs are high and can take relationships to very unhealthy places. It’s important to learn how to fight fair and to use that tension as an opportunity to grow closer.
Ultimately, the source of conflict comes from not knowing how to relate to each other’s unique personalities. Learning how to navigate those differences in a way that builds up both people is key to growing together in the healthiest of ways.
2. Routine maintenance is a great investment for your marriage
Anyone who owns a car knows it’s better to get a $30 oil change regularly than to end up spending thousands replacing an engine. That same idea of routine maintenance should play out in marriage, too.
One great way to perform routine checkups, whether weekly, monthly, or whatever you work out, is to consistently come together and invest time communicating in your marriage. Come to your checkups prepared, open and ready to initiate whatever conversations need to take place and you should see a great return on the investment of your routine maintenance.
3. Praying circles in your marriage maximizes what God can do
What if couples leaned more into prayer? In their book Praying Circles Around Your Marriage, Joel and Nina write about what marriage can look like when couples bring intentionality, purpose, and specificity to their prayer life – into the worst parts and into the best parts of marriage.
Couples can see change happen through prayer in every part of their marriage by seeking understanding rather than being understood. Connecting to the Holy Spirit will maximize who they are, their calling, and what God can and will do through their marriage.
Quotes from Episode 248
If you’re winning at work, but not winning at home, you’re losing. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet
You’re drawn to the things that you wish you had more of in your own life. @ninaschmidgallClick To Tweet
I don’t know how people do marriage without prayer. When your body hits your knees, your heart finds humility. @joelschmidgallClick To Tweet
It’s amazing how often we allow conflict, division and problems to go unresolved just by neglect. @cnieuwhofClick To Tweet
If you’ve never prayed for your wife, you have a weapon in your arsenal that you’re not using. @joelschmidgallClick To Tweet
Consistency beats intensity. @joelschmidgallClick To Tweet
Read or Download the Transcript for Episode 248
Looking for a key quote? More of a reader?
Read or download a free PDF transcript of this episode here.
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Next Episode: Kara Powell & Steve Argue
Every parent and every teen and young adult knows things are changing. So does every parent and leader. But the real question is: How are things changing and what does it mean? Kara Powell and Steve Argue dive into their latest research and explain how a twenty year gap has emerged between when kids grow up too fast as young teens but don’t fullly emerge as adults until 30, and what that means for kids, parents, emerging adults and leaders.
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The post CNLP 248: Joel and Nina Schmidgall on Why Marriage is Hard and Why Praying Circles Around Your Marriage Can Change More Than You Think appeared first on CareyNieuwhof.com.